Roundup: Jeff Gordon’s Test Drive, Pi Day, New Pope, Steven Seagal Hangs With Putin
Johanna Lundbäck … wheelchair bound man opens fire in a bar … man who saved children from a shark fired … Frank Lucas back … Amsterdam’s 70-year old twin prostitutes retiring … a kid ate a used condom at McDonald’s … woman died in accident with college lacrosse team bus … astronauts heading home … it is “Pi Day” … a Veronica Mars movie will happen, thanks to Kickstarter … meet Pope Francis … Google Reader and the underpants gnomes … Pope Francis resigns … police sergeant demoted after posting nude pictures online …
Eddie Pearce was supposed to the “The Next Nicklaus.” [Golf Channel]
NASCAR driver Jeremy Clements reinstated after dropping an N-bomb a couple weeks ago. [ESPN]
Deion Sanders won his custody battle. [Dallas Morning News]
Greg Jennings is visiting with the Vikings. [PFT]
Your company’s IT team is not looking forward to the NCAA Tournament. [MNN]
Steven Seagal was in Russia promoting physical fitness with Vladimir Putin. [Guardian]
Petyon Manning was not the lead negotiator in the Wes Welker signing. [NFL]
Kevin Garnett reflects on growing old with Paul Pierce. [WEEI]
The Colts signed workout monster Laron Landry. [Indy Star]
Nick Diaz wanted to fight Georges St. Pierre at a hotel after UFC 137 in October 2011. [MMA Fighting]
DeMarcus Cousins didn’t mean to elbow Mike Dunleavy in the head the play after he confronted him. Just bad timing. [Sacramento Bee]
Carlsberg beer helped people prank their friends to see if they would help them in the middle of the night.
Jeff Gordon’s version of the Uncle Drew ads is pretty funny. No matter how staged you believe it to be.
Here is Countdown to UFC 158.
Olivia Wilde upset Bieber fans.
In case you missed the Djimi Traoré goal from the other day.

- Matt Harvey, the New York Mets’ Star Pitcher, is Dating SI Swimsuit Model Anne V
- The Kansas City Royals Are Becoming the Royals Again, and Fans Have Been Far Too Patient
- Champions League: Bayern Munich a Legacy of Losing at Stake
- Teddy Bridgewater Declined Heisman Promotion, But Louisville May Need That Attention
- Champions League: Borussia Dortmund’s Chance to Turn from Hipster Darlings to European Champions

- Monster is Meth on Matt Harvey, the New York Mets' Star Pitcher, is Dating SI Swimsuit Model Anne V
- KC Resident on The Kansas City Royals Are Becoming the Royals Again, and Fans Have Been Far Too Patient
- A.P. on The Kansas City Royals Are Becoming the Royals Again, and Fans Have Been Far Too Patient
- Ballz on "Matrix Bird" Escapes Death By Back-Flipping to Avoid Formula One Car During Monaco Grand Prix Practice [Video]
- Senator Jersey on Champions League: Bayern Munich a Legacy of Losing at Stake
113 Responses to “Roundup: Jeff Gordon’s Test Drive, Pi Day, New Pope, Steven Seagal Hangs With Putin”
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March 14th, 2013 at 8:14 AM
Cute roundup girl
March 14th, 2013 at 8:17 AM
I’ll say – I’ve been staring at her Google Image results for about 5 minutes – haven’t made it a link yet.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:17 AM
made it TO a link yet
March 14th, 2013 at 8:24 AM
Had to do a little googling to see who this girl is….
She’s cute, but is she Roundup worthy? You decide, ummmmm…….yeah
That video is freakin hilarious. I have t admit, I’m 42 years old and my good friend calls me at 1am to say he’s at a poker game and I need to bring money, first thing going thru my head, “Why the fock didn’t you invite me to play poker!”. LOL.
The opening scene of them walking in on the chickens and the MMA fight, reminded me of the Seinfeld episode with the cock-fight. Little Jerry.
/Speaking of which, got a poker game going at my house next Friday nite with March Madness on the TV
March 14th, 2013 at 8:24 AM
Sweet goal by the Sounders player.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:27 AM
The Colts signed workout monster Laron Landry
Me or the Colts signing plenty of garbage players?
March 14th, 2013 at 8:28 AM
Ha.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:34 AM
mmm, mmm, mmm.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:34 AM
A 1am call I pretty much assume one of my or my wife’s parents has been rushed to the hospital. That said, assuming I was awake enough to hear the phone call, I would probably go deal with whatever one of my friends got into.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:34 AM
A former sergeant at the Houston Police Department has been demoted because of naked pictures she allegedly posted online.
Allegedly??? Photos are there for us to see, especially this whole big tattoo thing she’s working on her left hip
Johanna Lundbäck >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Naked fotos of Houston Police Sargaent
March 14th, 2013 at 8:37 AM
Yep, now that I’m older, any call at 1am can’t be a good thing. I still would prob go if my friend needed my help, but damn if I wouldnt be pissed about it.
/wife wouldn’t hear phone ring
//still snoring when I left the room
March 14th, 2013 at 8:37 AM
The Colts signed workout monster Laron Landry
Hopefully he doesn’t have the chance to take out Fred Jacksons knee this year. Cheapshot douche.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:37 AM
that was AWESOME. i dont think it came off staged at all…if so that fat dude’s a great actor.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:37 AM
Good read on Eddie Pearce.
Holy crap that is my school. Awesome.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:39 AM
Nice to see Primetime won his custody case. His ex-wife is the worst kind of human being.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:39 AM
read this yesterday…was really good. holy shit their HS team must’ve been LOADED.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:40 AM
I call bullshit here. Most IT departments just add *.cbssports.com to their firewall and call it a day.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:41 AM
/high five
March 14th, 2013 at 8:42 AM
Jennings to the Vikings? Yes!
Urlacher to the Vikings? Hmmm….
March 14th, 2013 at 8:42 AM
People are morons.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:44 AM
reminds me of stories about jazz greats passing out on heroin on stage. love that shit.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:46 AM
I don’t know if I really see the upside in Denver signing Welker. They have Decker and Thomas already. Manning’s arm doesn’t have 600-620 attempts in it. I would imagine that Manning’s YPA minus YAC is somewhere in the middle of the pack, if not lower.
Great, so you’re paying a guy $6MM/yr to catch the ball 6 yds from the LOS. You were already doing that with Thomas, Decker, and the TEs. This doesn’t suddenly free up Decker and Thomas to run verticals, because the QB can’t reliably throw the ball 20 yds downfield on a rope.
To me, this just says that Denver is relying on zero mistakes to matriculate the ball into the endzone. Small-balling it won’t cut it when a good-tackling defense shows up on the other side of the LOS. The lack of big plays will derail them when they need it most.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:46 AM
I call bullshit here. Most IT departments just add *.cbssports.com to their firewall and call it a day.
Oh, if it were only that simple….doesn’t quite work that way.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:46 AM
Not knowing anything about the ex-wife, she must of been all kinds of awful for Primetime to win custody.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:46 AM
Yup. They lucked out and didn’t sign Cliff Avril too.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:48 AM
If Jennings wants $12 million a year, he can move along.
I do not want any part of Urlacher here in Minny.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:48 AM
Get on your company wireless from your phone or tablet, connect via an Onion browser and you’re good to go.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:49 AM
Because he is infinitely better than Brandon Stokely?
March 14th, 2013 at 8:49 AM
Follow-up to earlier post and reading the rest of the Roundup links
Johanna Lundbäck >>>>>>>>>> Naked fotos of Houston Police Sargaent >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Twins who are Amsterdam’s oldest prostitutes
March 14th, 2013 at 8:49 AM
Spencer, after reading about Pearce it reminds me of Rory coming in late to the Ryder Cup that day. We thought he looked like he had been out partying too.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:50 AM
Do tell, I need options for Masters week.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:51 AM
That Veronica Mars is one hot piece of ace
March 14th, 2013 at 8:52 AM
Not gonna happen
March 14th, 2013 at 8:52 AM
that’s what worked for me last year, used the MMOD app at just propped my iphone near my computer
March 14th, 2013 at 8:53 AM
I’ll be there opening night!
March 14th, 2013 at 8:53 AM
Yeah, but I still don’t see what it buys the entirety of the offense. Yeah it’s an upgrade, but are there enough balls to go around?
I think Thomas is the guy that suffers here. Seems like he’ll be relegated to “deep threat” and “bubble screen guy” even though he’s the most dominant of the bunch.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:53 AM
Have you seen her lately? Her stomach is the size of Jupiter.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:55 AM
.
Totally agree. That dude was scared out of his mind (with good reason) I must have watched that thing 20 times the other night.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:57 AM
I think Thomas is the guy that suffers here. Seems like he’ll be relegated to “deep threat” and “bubble screen guy” even though he’s the most dominant of the bunch.
I don’t see how it is a problem for the team if Decker or Thomas has less receptions because Welker is now there. That sounds more like a fantasy football concern. Welker gets double teamed a lot, especially on 3rd and under 6 yrds to go. Stokely wasn’t demanding those double teams. This should free up Decker and Thomas quite often.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:58 AM
I just take the first Thursday & Friday of the NCAA tourney off. I’d rather go out, watch games, drink beer and enjoy myself instead of sneaking around and in the end, getting nothing done at work.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:58 AM
Spence here you go. They make an app for the iphone. Not sure about the Android or Windows phone…
March 14th, 2013 at 8:58 AM
Eh. All depends on how it’s managed and who the network carrier is and how important network latency is to your business.
After that, it’s hand wringing from senior management, who get into a “do as I say, not as I do” mood, with respect to the time employees put into things like the NCAA tourney and online shopping on the job.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:59 AM
Sorry, I meant UM. I read golf, and I think Spence. So narrow minded of me.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:01 AM
I agree with Olivia Wilde – Bieber should keep his shirt on. And she, in my opinion, should take hers off.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:03 AM
I approached our IT guy this week about allowing a company wide pool (we have 18 offices). He took the time to go through and unfilter Yahoo Fantasy for the next month so everyone could participate.
/not all IT guys are assholes
//afraid to ask him to block the fucking 7-up style full page ads on this site
March 14th, 2013 at 9:04 AM
The Welker deal insures the Broncos offense can maintain some consistency if there is an injury. The high volume of catches that result in tackles – i.e. impact on the WR – are high with Manning – his WR’s wear down a bit over a season. This is a good move. Further, his high level of execution is not ideal for breaking in a young WR. Getting a veteran that can assimilate to a playbook and run exact routes will be beneficial. The Broncos offense is their bread and butter. There is very little downside to this from what I see.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:05 AM
So you were the Executive of the year and not Grigson last year? Just checking.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:06 AM
Haven’t they moved some of those NCAA games back in the day, so if you take work off THUR-FRI you are seeing less games than in the past?
March 14th, 2013 at 9:10 AM
No clue who this girl is but daaaamn.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:12 AM
So you were the Executive of the year and not Grigson last year? Just checking.
Ha. Eric Wedge was once Manager of the Year. Mike Brown was once Coach of the Year. Different sport but if that is your basis good luck.
Cherilus is not that good. Competent at best. Landry got a lot of money for a guy who cant cover and has some roid-induced injury issues. Walden was maybe the worst FA signing this year. Toler and Thomas were fair signings that will cover some holes.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:13 AM
Especially when you consider the contract 2 for $12. I can’t believe another team didn’t offer more. Somewhat surprised the Pats didn’t match. Obviously this means Belichick wanted Amendola over Welker.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:13 AM
Shark guy was rightfully fired although that was a good thing he did for those kids.
Also, I’m glad Olivia Wilde has some wit and isn’t just T&A although I enjoy the moments to see those too.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:14 AM
Scripty – Looks like they’ve spread them out some. Same number of games, just not in the blocks like a couple year back. http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1100262-ncaa-bracket-2012-tournament-tv-schedule-and-game-times
March 14th, 2013 at 9:14 AM
Remember the early days when CBS sportsline had the “boss” link on their site and it opened to an excel spreadsheet? LOL.
Our IT guys participate in the pool, so it’s not a problem for me.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:15 AM
That was too funny, that guy was scared, then pissed. Didnt come off as staged to me.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:15 AM
Titans allegedly offered 2yr./$15m
March 14th, 2013 at 9:17 AM
That Eddie Pearce story is terrific. Read of the week, IMO.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:18 AM
Nice to see Primetime won his custody case. His ex-wife is the worst kind of human being.
deion is not far off from being the worst kind of human. he could give a rats ass about the kids, he just wants to put his bucktooth ass in front of a camera. a narcissistic prick of the highest order.
but, for the judge to side with HIM, as much as a POS as he is, just goes to show how effed up she is.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:18 AM
Lundbäck
I think Stephen jumped at the chance to use the umlaut.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:18 AM
Watched a movie the other nite on my iPad thru Amazon Instant Movies, The Next Three Days with Russell Crowe. Pretty solid movie IMO. Olivia played a secondary character, she looked good though.
Film was shot in PIT and showed the Allegheny Prison which you pass long US22 heading into downtown PIT
PIT becoming the film mecca lately, giving tax breaks to film co.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:20 AM
Today is National Steak & Blowjob Day. Exactly one month after the women’s holiday
/ Pi day is trying to steal our thunder
// never heard of either of these things until about 20 mins ago
March 14th, 2013 at 9:22 AM
I have been watching The Shield again on Amazon Prime and Kristen Bell was in the first or second episode of Season 2. Still pretty cute and unknown at that time.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:22 AM
You never heard of Pi?
March 14th, 2013 at 9:22 AM
Why is Deadspin CONSTANTLY changing its page format? That site is an abortion right now.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:25 AM
That goal is incredible standing alone but moreso given the fact that he is one of the worst professional soccer players of all time. Naturally, starting well in MLS.
Outstanding. As is your username.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:29 AM
Actually, I think this site re-design might be their best one.
The one they did before this most recent one was fucking horrible.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:29 AM
Scripty – not going to debate the Walden one, but I think the deal with the Colts and FA’s this year is that the guys (outside of Freeney) that they are being signed to replace were SO FREAKING BAD that even a “miss” is going to be an upgrade over what we had. All they really need from Cherilus is league average to see a massive improvement
March 14th, 2013 at 9:30 AM
I hated the new Deadspin design at first but it’s growing on me, I like the map thing. Side scrolling for comments is dumb though.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:33 AM
Pi day is trying to steal our thunder
// never heard of either of these things until about 20 mins ago
You never heard of Pi?
dude, i was a math major. i’ve heard of Pi. to be clear, never knew there was a day celebrating Pi
/ under your logic i also would have never heard of steak + bj’s
March 14th, 2013 at 9:34 AM
Why is Deadspin CONSTANTLY changing its page format? That site is an abortion right now.
Discuss.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:35 AM
speaking on Pi Day.
good ol’ forward-thinking Indiana… that would have changed my high school math classes a lot
March 14th, 2013 at 9:35 AM
She’s named dropped as a child in Salman Rushdie’s book Joseph Anton, she had read his children’s book and he was impressed with her thoughts.
I got into lengthy twitter argument with an actress, turned out Rushdie dated her. He also briefly married to Padama Lakshi. Moral of the story is if you are a balding, pudgy, short man become the target of international theocratic assassins and your in.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:39 AM
I’ll be surprised if Reggie Bush lives up to the hype. I feel like Lions fans are just happy someone chose Detroit…
March 14th, 2013 at 9:41 AM
That rock you live under warm and inviting? Pi Day has been mentioned for a few years now.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:42 AM
Google Reader and the underpants gnomes …
Oh man, I use Google Reader everyday. Here is a link to 5 alternatives
http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-19512_7-57574201-233/google-reader-is-dying-but-we-have-five-worthy-alternatives/
March 14th, 2013 at 9:43 AM
Nah man, just be rich and famous, or just plain rich.
Seriously
March 14th, 2013 at 9:45 AM
HILARIOUS!
March 14th, 2013 at 9:45 AM
“He goes by Sal Bass, he just replaced one fish with another, Jerry!”
/Kramer’d
//soused, solid pic of Padama…..damn.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:46 AM
John Henry’s wife is insanely annoying.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:46 AM
LOL Archbishop Dolan started his interveiew with Matt Lauer this morning by saying “Good Morning America!”
/burn Lauer, burn
March 14th, 2013 at 9:47 AM
That rock you live under warm and inviting? Pi Day has been mentioned for a few years now.
Let it go man…. just let it go
/ it’s a nice cozy rock btw
March 14th, 2013 at 9:48 AM
Nah man, just be rich and famous, or just plain rich.
Yep. She has to see your tax returns before she goes on a date. She freaking was dating Dell’s brother and that old ass (and now dead) Teddy Fortsmann guy at the same time.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:49 AM
Wow, what’s she taking away from that relationship, except a boatload of $$$$. You’re not having kids with this dude, so what are doing with him?
March 14th, 2013 at 9:49 AM
/Cutting to the quick
March 14th, 2013 at 9:51 AM
Senorita Sexy pants
March 14th, 2013 at 9:54 AM
Wow, what’s she taking away from that relationship, except a boatload of $$$$. You’re not having kids with this dude, so what are doing with him?
John Henry does have a child with his current wife. about 2 years old I believe.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:54 AM
She freaking was dating nailing Dell’s brother and that old ass (and now dead) Teddy Fortsmann guy at the same time.
Probably more accurate. She had that Fortsmann guy by the balls. He left a bunch of money to her kid with Dell who she was fucking while living with Forstmann.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:55 AM
I believe that had a baby girl not to long ago.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:58 AM
Henry is only in his early sixties he just looks older in that picture.
More worrying to her should be the fact that he’s worth just south of a billion now after taking big hits the last five years.
March 14th, 2013 at 9:59 AM
$540 for 18 home MLS games, cheapest seats, is way too expensive MLSE. Great community on Craigslist, pick up any at any time for face value. Teams has been terrible but there is a nice view.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:00 AM
Former dudes on Q101 in Chicago were always all over this.
/ RIP Q101
March 14th, 2013 at 10:01 AM
Swoons
March 14th, 2013 at 10:02 AM
I didnt read this but I know one guy who was streaming conference tournament games all day yesterday. I’ll wait until the actual tournament starts to test the limits.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:03 AM
Today is National Steak & Blowjob Day
is it sponsored by axe body spray, or some sort of hair gel conglomerate?
March 14th, 2013 at 10:07 AM
Lions have had a decent offseason. Filled some positions of need, got rid of Gosder and have managed to stay out of jail.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:08 AM
Pudgy old guy getting these hot women:
Arthur Miller – Marilyn Monroe
Howard Stern – Anybody
Lyle Lovett – Miss Horseteeth
3 off the top of my head
March 14th, 2013 at 10:11 AM
My theory on the “From Out Network”, “From USA Today Sports” pushing the comments down the page:
JMAC: You get hella exposure brah, errbody wants to post for us for free.
Intern: But it’s illegal and my exposure is marginally higher than the first comment.
JMAC: Hmm.
Fin.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:14 AM
Lyle Lovett – Miss Horseteeth
He was neither pudgy nor old at the time. He was only 35ish. He just looks like an alien.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:18 AM
The recruiting pamphlet mentions they only have to travel inside Detroit’s city limits 10 times a year.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:19 AM
Billy Joel pulling Elle McPherson and Christie Brinkley in his mid thirties tops this.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:19 AM
He was neither pudgy nor old at the time. He was only 35ish. He just looks like an alien.
That and Michael Bolton nailing Ashley Judd in her prime was when I came to the realization I needed to become a musician. Too bad I have 0 musical talent whatsoever.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:21 AM
My bad. Kinda of reminds me of the Kathie Lee Gifford-Frank Gifford union. Can’t believe their girl is 20 yrs old and her dad is 83. Wow. When I was that age, my grandparents had died around that time and they were in their mid 70s’.
/better living through chemistry
March 14th, 2013 at 10:25 AM
Too bad I have 0 musical talent whatsoever.
Eh, musical talent doesn’t get most people too far. Speaking of which, where is Spencer this morning?
March 14th, 2013 at 10:31 AM
This one comes to mind. ALL-TIME
What a hot mess she was.
/original Playboy pics were great though SFW
//Team Curves
March 14th, 2013 at 10:34 AM
Speaking of which, where is Spencer this morning?
with all his musical ability, probably balls deep
March 14th, 2013 at 10:38 AM
Another one is Rod Stewart and that Australian Playboy chick. Rachel something.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:38 AM
with all his musical ability, probably balls deep
balls deep in his vaporizer.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:42 AM
Got in a mood last night and spent the whole evening listening to Trane, Sonny Rollins, Art Blakey, Cannonball, In a Silent Way … very mellow, very smooth.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:49 AM
She looked really, really, REALLY good in “Stacy’s Mom” video. Screencaps
SFWish
March 14th, 2013 at 10:52 AM
One of my favorite Stern moments was when he had Stuttering John ask Gifford, “Does Cody get confused sometimes and call you Grandpa?”
/ Second favorite question, to Ringo: “Do you think they shot the wrong Beatle?”
March 14th, 2013 at 11:03 AM
Rachel Hunter. Rachel Hunter.
March 14th, 2013 at 11:26 AM
May i suggest using a nightstick officer
March 14th, 2013 at 11:38 AM
Please replace her with all Olivia munn Roundups, stat