Remember the Fred Davis nightclub incident? The one featuring an allegedly thrown bottle and a “celebrity booker?” Sure you do. It sort of feels like a bad episode of the new 90210 or unintentional humor from a show like NCIS.

Davis went on trial this week, and come on, how can you not pay attention when the Washingtonian has this to say?:

Davis allegedly dumped juice on Chaka and threw the empty pitcher at her head, injuring her lip. Davis admits only throwing the juice on Chaka, and said he did so after she tossed a drink on him. “I was assaulted first,” Davis insisted.

Chaka is demanding compensation for medical bills, emotional distress, and property damaged. “My boots, which were suede, were damaged by the acid in the juice,” said Chaka, a 34-year-old Baltimore woman.

I highly suggest reading that link. There’s a back-and-forth between the two parties (when they weren’t represented by lawyers; they are now) about hands being placed on genitals in a photo. It’s classic.

How about this – the bodyguard was asked for proof that Chaka is – as he calls her in court documents – “a pimpette.” He said this:

During cross examination, Davis sometimes-bodyguard Stewart Prince was asked to provide evidence that Chaka was in fact a “madam/pimpette.”

“Do we really want to go there?” Prince responded. “I can get proof.”
He then testified that he had seen Chaka procure prostitutes for men “plenty of times.”

When asked for specific clients, Prince clammed up. “I’m not name dropping in the court room.”

That’s gold. Did I see this discussed on LA Law once? Or spoofed on SNL? Most of the trial centers around the alleged bottle throw. Although it’s not really alleged, based on video:

Davis repeatedly denied throwing the bottle, even after a video of the incident was shown in court clearly showing Davis through the bottle at Chaka. (I personally saw the video footage of the incident played at least four times in court.)

“I didn’t throw the bottle—the bottle came out of my hand,” he said at one point.

“I release it, I didn’t throw it.”

“I didn’t throw it at her. Period.”

Lastly, Chaka claims Redskins players are jealous of the Ravens because they’re the better team. So there’s that. [Washingtonian]