Pernicious smut rag Sports Illustrated has declared this “Power Week.” Getting into the power spirit, here are top 10 most powerful types of power.

Nuclear Power: The power to kill by the hundreds of thousands is great. Now, imagine if you could also poison the environment for decades and ensure that tens of thousands more died of cancer. Nuclear power is so powerful even the presence of the threat is enough to let you get away with pretty much whatever you want.

Magical Power: If you think walking around in robes, carrying a wand and muttering quasi-Latin phrases won’t get you laid, you clearly don’t read enough fan fiction.

Spiritual Power: Almost any leader can get a bunch of rubes to travel halfway across the known world to do battle. But the trick is if you promise to absolve their sins, they will pay their own way.

Power Point: People are trapped in a room forced to listen to you. Getting up of falling asleep would be impolite. The bullet points are mere instruments to torture them as long as you please.

Referent Power: The famous can influence others through the power of their own charisma. Right now, they are targeting America’s obesity epidemic, by encouraging already healthy people to shed 10 extra pounds and bring the numbers down.

Raw Power: Technique will get you paid and get you to the hall of fame. You want to wow people? Do this. Wily Mo Pena: not good at the baseball, but definitely powerful.

Power of Attorney: Controlling the entirety of someone’s material existence? Hard to top that level of power.

Power ball: States make gambling illegal, ensuring they reap the profits from the stupidity of the cash-strapped masses. $300 million? Eh… $600 million? Better buy a ticket.

Power Rankings: Another Power Rankings post? Ugh. /clicks, returns repeatedly to argue, tweets, returns again, posts retort on own blog

Horsepower: Just an excuse to link to the LaFerrari once more. 950 hp.

[Photo via Getty]