Champions League: Real Madrid vs. Manchester United, Borussia Dortmund vs. Shakhtar Donetsk
Manchester United vs. Real Madrid: The marquee matchup. The world’s two biggest clubs. The world will stop to watch this one, or at least they like to think so. It is also Cristiano Ronaldo’s first trip back to Old Trafford. Both teams have been strong since the first leg. Man U dumped three EPL also rans by a combined score of 8-1. Real Madrid beat Barcelona twice in five days.
The match is still wide open after the 1-1 draw at the Bernabeu. Madrid must score at least one goal to advance. You’d expect them to do that, as Man United’s back four is hardly the imperious group that shut down Barcelona and pretty much everyone in 2008. We’ll say a 3-3 aggregate draw with Real Madrid advancing on away goals.
Borussia Dortmund vs. Shakhtar Donetsk: This is the matchup of “football hipster” favorites. It also will define the season for both teams. Dortmund have little else to play for, with Bayern having run away with the Bundesliga. Shakhtar are so dominant in the Ukranian Premier League it is an afterthought.
Dortmund should be favorites on paper, netting two away goals in the first leg’s 2-2 draw. That said, Shakhtar can score goals, have played well on the road in the Champions League this season and hung with Dortmund at home despite being rusty after a three-month winter layoff. We’ll say 5-4 Dortmund on aggregate, with “football the real winner.”
[Photo via Getty]

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50 Responses to “Champions League: Real Madrid vs. Manchester United, Borussia Dortmund vs. Shakhtar Donetsk”
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March 5th, 2013 at 2:37 PM
Re the caption: you sure that’s a celebration, or is he just prepping his flop technique?
March 5th, 2013 at 2:39 PM
On the flip side, of the eight goals they scored on the road this year in the tournament, all but two were either scored or set up by Willian, who’s gone.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:41 PM
I hope the Queen dies on the loo like Elvis.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:42 PM
It appears that he is letting loose with a rather epic fart.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:42 PM
No Rooney in the starting 11 is interesting. I guess he will be fresh for extra time.
This is going to work. SAF knows all.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:42 PM
Go Dortmund, but I’ll be watching the marquee game.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Really? Why do you hate Morrisey so much?
March 5th, 2013 at 3:07 PM
anybody but manchester united
March 5th, 2013 at 3:32 PM
Great half.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:49 PM
That was not the goal this game deserved but Man U will take it.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:50 PM
I’ll take it.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Sergio Ramos as a central defender is why La Liga is a fucking joke.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:52 PM
This is far from over. Glad it was Ramos, that cunt bitch.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Yeah it doesn’t change anything for Madrid but they haven’t exactly been peppering De Gea all afternoon thus far.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:56 PM
Varane was pretty awful on that too. Natural for a nineteen year old to make mistakes, kind of sucks to be able to pocket Messi all game then four days later get worked by Nani.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:56 PM
Yeah no doubt. There was a stretch late in the first half where they created some half chances, but Ronaldo is invisible. Props to Rafael for stepping his game up today.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:57 PM
Straight red!
March 5th, 2013 at 3:57 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Fully fucking deserved.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:58 PM
wow that is harsh
March 5th, 2013 at 3:58 PM
Absolutely loved Nani faking the injury to avoid the card. You just studded a guy in the heart, you’re gone.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:58 PM
Unfuckingbelievable
March 5th, 2013 at 3:58 PM
That wasn’t a red. Nani didn’t kick out at him in an intentional manner. A yellow, certainly, but not a red.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:59 PM
And yes it was dangerous. I’m just saying my first thought was definitely not red.
March 5th, 2013 at 3:59 PM
I’ve seen much worse than that not awarded a red. He seemed to be playing the ball.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:00 PM
Call it a yellow for dangerous play and a second yellow for simulation on the injury, then.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:00 PM
This is certainly going to be an interesting 30 minutes.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:01 PM
Great gif of it
March 5th, 2013 at 4:01 PM
Haha okay that’s fair then. Sir Alex will be insufferable about the ref after the game.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:04 PM
I can’t get a stream at work so I haven’t seen a real-time replay but based on that gif that is an astonishing red.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:04 PM
Meanwhile Dortmund going all Jonny Evans at a Christmas party on the Ukranians.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:04 PM
Modric looks dangerous since coming on.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:07 PM
MODRIC what a shot. 1-1
March 5th, 2013 at 4:07 PM
Wow
March 5th, 2013 at 4:07 PM
kazzytheclairvoyant
March 5th, 2013 at 4:07 PM
Fuck you kazzy
March 5th, 2013 at 4:08 PM
What a fucking shot. The curve and power.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:09 PM
For the record the more I see it the less I think it’s a red, I mean that is horribly dangerous and if you take out the ball it looks like a kung fu kick but man that is a tad harsh.
Still, fuck ‘em.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:10 PM
RUH ROH
March 5th, 2013 at 4:10 PM
Game, los blancos.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:11 PM
Nani is actually settling the ball as Arbeloa runs through it. Bad timing, sure, but not a red.
Aaaand now that’s that.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:11 PM
Ref gives at least 1 make-up PK to Man U
March 5th, 2013 at 4:12 PM
Plenty of time for an even-up red with Pepe coming on.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:13 PM
Where’s Rooney at this point? Gotta throw all caution to the wind.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:14 PM
There he is.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:15 PM
Normally the surrounding the ref thing would bother me, but that fucking shithead can get fucked.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:16 PM
Welbeck shot by a sniper
March 5th, 2013 at 4:25 PM
Man U really putting on the pressure.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:29 PM
Not a red
March 5th, 2013 at 4:33 PM
That might actually have been a penalty.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:35 PM
For once Young actually deserved a penalty. So of course he doesn’t get it.