Alexi Lalas Went on The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert Took a Dive
All, Soccer, Television, Video February 21st. 2013, 2:55pm
Alexi Lalas appeared on the Colbert Report last night to talk about soccer’s latest match-fixing scandal. It’s a solid 6 minutes of jokes about soccer which is always fun. Lalas says he pities Colbert for not appreciating the beautiful game and that must be a common feeling for reasonable soccer fans. Of course, the highlight of the interview is when Lalas comes close enough to touching Stephen Colbert that Colbert is forced to take a dive. If you ask me, it looked like an embellishment.
Previously: Soccer Match-Fixing Probe Reveals 680 “Suspect” Results
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89 Responses to “Alexi Lalas Went on The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert Took a Dive”
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February 21st, 2013 at 2:56 PM
has colbert ever done anything that wasn;t awesome?
strangers with candy, the press dinner speech, this show
February 21st, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Plus the short lived Dana Carvey Show
February 21st, 2013 at 3:01 PM
This seems like as good a place as any to put this semi-NSFW gif.
I bet even Hernia could appreciate her.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:02 PM
/donates $10 to Colbert’s Super PAC
February 21st, 2013 at 3:04 PM
Had a bridge in Eastern Europe and a part of the International Space Station named after him. Dude needs to get dogged and actually run for office.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:04 PM
/donates $10 to Colbert’s Super PAC
I thought he ended the Super PAC and donated all the money.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:05 PM
Hernia looks at breasts and thinks of pancakes. It’s his nature.
That chick, unlike Upton, has actual hips.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:07 PM
February 21st, 2013 at 3:07 PM
So Lalas’ opinion is that people who don’t appreciate soccer are too stupid to understand its nuances? Got it.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:10 PM
the Colbert Show.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:12 PM
Alexi came across as super douchey here
February 21st, 2013 at 3:16 PM
I’m sure that the eighteen people who watch Colbert every night found that hilarious. The WWE is more relevant.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:19 PM
Colbert’s sister is running for Senate in SC. She was on some show last night, said she will take SUPERPAC money from her brother
February 21st, 2013 at 3:19 PM
I’m sure that the eighteen people who watch Colbert every night found that hilarious. The WWE is more relevant.
Colbert invented a Super PAC and raised $1.2 million even though he never specified where the money was actually going to be used. In other words, viewers collectively donated to him over one million dollars simply because of who Colbert is.
Very irrelevant indeed.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:21 PM
I thought people liked soccer because it’s not nuanced?
February 21st, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Colbert’s sister is running for Senate in SC. She was on some show last night, said she will take SUPERPAC money from her brother
She said pretty much the opposite of that here: http://www.politico.com/story/2013/02/colbert-sister-no-pac-help-from-bro-87903.html?hp=f3
February 21st, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Is this some kind of joke? Dude is pretty popular, and I would bet on him replacing Letterman when the time comes.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:22 PM
And she’s running for a House seat. Not the Senate.
/that guy’d
February 21st, 2013 at 3:23 PM
I thought she was just playing with the anchor when she said she wouldnt. You are probably right. Rooting for her though
February 21st, 2013 at 3:24 PM
When did mrejr change his name?
February 21st, 2013 at 3:24 PM
I also like how Lalas talked about the millions of Mexican fans with superior intellects who throw pee bombs.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:24 PM
Scientology is not impressed.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:24 PM
I think baseball and soccer are both tricky in this regard. People who have never watched high-level baseball don’t get the little things like hitting the cutoff man. Soccer has a lot of these things, too.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:25 PM
Scientology is not impressed.
Nor am I with you.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:25 PM
Well, those are Mexican national team fans. Just about the worst people in the world.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:26 PM
You are right MS621, even though I dont drink I must have been drunk last night. I went to bed totally thinking she was gonna use some of the funds (which would be legal).
February 21st, 2013 at 3:26 PM
Well, those are Mexican national team fans. Just about the worst people in the world.
I don’t think being shitty, violent, absurdly obnoxious soccer fans is something that supporters of the Mexican national team have a monopoly on.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:28 PM
You are right MS621, even though I dont drink I must have been drunk last night. I went to bed totally thinking she was gonna use some of the funds (which would be legal).
The crazy part, as you said, is that it would have been perfectly legal. But I think Colbert already dished out all of the money. From the always reliable Wikipedia:
On December 13, 2012, Colbert reported that a nonprofit called the “Ham Rove Memorial Foundation,” which Colbert was “surprised” he was on the board of, received a donation of $773,704.83, which was the amount that was left over from the Super PAC according to termination reports filed with the FEC.[43] This money was distributed in $125,000 increments equally to four charities: DonorsChoose (Hurricane) Sandy Relief Fund, Team Rubicon, Habitat for Humanity, and the Yellow Ribbon Fund. The remaining money was split between the Campaign Legal Center and the Center for Responsive Politics, which both focus on campaign finance reform.[41][44] As part of the acceptance of the “Ham Rove Memorial Fund” donation, the Campaign Legal Center agreed to name their meeting space “The Colbert Super Pac Memorial Conference Room.” Additionally, the Center for Responsive Politics agreed to name their conference room “The Ham Rove Memorial Conference Room.”
February 21st, 2013 at 3:28 PM
That’s 9th grade stuff.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:28 PM
Speaking of violent fans, did you guys see the pics of the hooligans in France that destroyed and English Pub? They fucking wrecked that place
February 21st, 2013 at 3:28 PM
Wow, she is homely
February 21st, 2013 at 3:29 PM
Speaking of violent fans, did you guys see the pics of the hooligans in France that destroyed and English Pub? They fucking wrecked that place
Reminds me of the St. Patrick’s Day Simpsons where John Bull’s Fish and Chips gets blown up and everybody cheers.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:30 PM
They just set the standard. They really are terrible people.
That may be, but many people who never watch baseball still wouldn’t get it. Every sport has nuances to it. Football might have more than any, now that I think about it.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:30 PM
Here is the link http://extramustard.si.com/2013/02/21/this-is-whats-left-of-the-pub-where-tottenham-fans-were-attacked-last-night/
Tottenham fans got fucked up
February 21st, 2013 at 3:31 PM
Maybe. I’d probably still argue baseball.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:32 PM
you could feasibly say that about any sport, though.
He also spoke at the White House and broke Bill O’Reilly. definitely irrelevant.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:34 PM
I can’t recommend the book “How Soccer Explains The World” enough. It’s not so much about soccer, but about how and why the fans of teams act they way they do. So much of it is broken down politically, religiously or by race. Really cool book.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:36 PM
Hush now. Before rittyrich flies in with another backhanded comment about soccer.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:36 PM
Husker I can only assume that they use a picture like this to illustrate The Old Firm rivalry.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:38 PM
I’m sure you or Husker will reply in kind with one about baseball.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:38 PM
The stuff that jumped out to me was the Eastern European allegiances and how ruthless the fan clubs are. Some scary dudes over there.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:39 PM
Stewart isn’t going anywhere. But I could definitely see Colbert leaving comedy central. He will need to totally transform himself to host network late night show, though. Need to get rid of the fake conservative act and learn to go after low hanging jokes like Leno.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:40 PM
The stuff that jumped out to me was the Eastern European allegiances and how ruthless the fan clubs are. Some scary dudes over there.
Levski Sofia and CSKA Sofia in Bulgaria are apparently pretty brutal rivals.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:40 PM
Yup. Though once again I will make it my goal to not make one disparaging comment re: baseball within a baseball post this year.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:40 PM
that .gif is magical
February 21st, 2013 at 3:41 PM
Absolutely not. I don’t bother with subtle digs. Baseball is a boring ass non-sport played by fat fuck non-athletes. No reason to hide my disdain with subtlety.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:42 PM
Red Star Belgrade was one if I remember correctly that was essentially a mob-run gang at one point.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:43 PM
I got in trouble for saying Eastern European soccer fans are like animals during Euro. My point was greatly hurt by a group of German fans flying nazi flags during one of the game. Epic fail on my part.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:44 PM
Don’t you have some tubes to go tie
February 21st, 2013 at 3:45 PM
I think soccer is about as nuanced as basketball. Like there are only so many formations and zones you can run and after a little bit of scouting, everybody knows what you’re gonna do. I still don’t understand why or how basketball coaches yell the entire game. Okay coach, we get it, if they’re in the 2-3 we run this, if they’re playing man, we do this.
I’d argue baseball because the nuance is in the scouting, signs, pitch selection, stealing/bunting strategy…that sort of thing.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:45 PM
Probably. I’ll hold off til you visit some more gay neighborhoods in Chicago.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:48 PM
With five minute break between each pitch, nuance is all you have to look forward to.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:48 PM
Most superior baseball players I know are superior athletes, no matter what they look like.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:48 PM
ok
February 21st, 2013 at 3:48 PM
colbert is the man. everything he does is so funny.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:49 PM
In-game tactics are a big deal in soccer, but generally after about 30 min of the match. I agree that for the most part it’s a “players playing” sport, but it’s how a manager tweaks the lineup in-game that changes so much. There are also way more combinations of a lineup than in basketball, but there are also twice the total players on the field at once.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Each have a specific choreography that is fun to watch. Vive le difference.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Five minutes, huh? Better than the 90 minutes between scores.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:51 PM
I would also argue that’s the general rule, not some sort of exception.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:51 PM
While this is a ridiculous exaggeration, the constant stop and start to baseball games is painful to watch. I know some people love that rhythm, but damn…do you have to step out of the batter’s box after every fucking pitch?
February 21st, 2013 at 3:52 PM
Touche
February 21st, 2013 at 3:52 PM
And let’s get one thing straight, attending a football game can be the most miserable experience of any of the sports. I like soccer because, even if it’s a horrible game, it’s gonna be 90 minutes tops.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:53 PM
And let’s get one thing straight, attending a football game can be the most miserable experience of any of the sports. I like soccer because, even if it’s a horrible game, it’s gonna be 90 minutes tops.
Unless there’s overtime. Or a shootout.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Yes, in most cases. Almost every pitch is a different situation.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Soccer is a very simple game. Don’t see why that would be a weakness, though. Yeah, aside from formations, there isn’t much a manager can do. It’s pretty much up to players to learn how to play off of teammates in absence of set plays. To me, that’s what makes it appealing. No stoppage every few minutes to discuss what they should be doing next. You’re pretty much on your own. I happen to like that.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:54 PM
Yet the stance and position within the batter’s box never changes, no? So why do you have to leave the box?
February 21st, 2013 at 3:55 PM
I agree with the last part. Watch a game from the early 80′s or something and the pitcher was on the bump ready to throw darts and the batter was in the box ready to take hacks. I hate watching guys go all Nomar, foul off 6 pitches, then strike out.
But on the other hand, I enjoy the pace because it’s a social game to attend. You can go get a beer, talk about stuff with the people you’re with, etc., without feeling like you’re missing too much when you boil it down to 11 minutes of actual action (i.e. football).
February 21st, 2013 at 3:55 PM
No stoppage every few minutes to discuss what they should be doing next. You’re pretty much on your own. I happen to like that.
yeah, and the limitations on substitutions further that. get your shit together before the match, have a few key subs ready to go if needed and play your best otherwise you are in for a long day.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:56 PM
Most superior baseball players I know are superior athletes, no matter what they look like
Let’s ask noted fat fuck and all-around asshole John Kruk his opinion:
“Lady, I’m not an athlete. I’m a professional baseball player.”
February 21st, 2013 at 3:56 PM
That was my point when I said it wasn’t as nuance and therefore that’s the appeal. Hey, here’s the starting lineup. Go beat their ass. I like that.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:56 PM
Plus halftime. Plus injury time.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:56 PM
Signs, looking at position players shifts etc. No, not every single pitch, but its a part of the game. I love watching soccer, so I’m not arguing that part
February 21st, 2013 at 3:57 PM
I get that. I love going to Braves games for this reason. It’s incredibly social. Soccer is intense as is football.
February 21st, 2013 at 3:58 PM
For the most part, I think guys are thinking about the situations though. They’ve gone over scouting reports that say when a guy is in the stretch with a 2-2 count, he throws a curve ball 65% of the time, and they’re thinking about what they’re gonna do if they see one…that sort of thing.
Some, though, just have a comfortable routine of stepping out and I think MLB needs to break that. Baseball games should be 3 hours tops just like I think football games should be 2 hours tops. Could you imagine how exciting games would be to attend?
February 21st, 2013 at 3:58 PM
His finest moment
February 21st, 2013 at 3:59 PM
Ritty is right, but some abuse it. Looking at you, Nomar
February 21st, 2013 at 4:00 PM
Right, but you know it’s gonna be 2 hours. You’re not at the mercy of the timeout, TD, timout, kickoff, timeout, snail crawl that can be football.
February 21st, 2013 at 4:00 PM
Mantis: Was that on Curb? Any clue as to what season?
February 21st, 2013 at 4:00 PM
On the bright side, that should get you an invitation to Wannsee Conference II when it eventually comes around.
February 21st, 2013 at 4:01 PM
Soccer is something you can set your watch to. That’s cool. As you said, football can last 4 fucking hours if you get some shitty B12 game where no team plays defense.
February 21st, 2013 at 4:03 PM
It still makes me sad I never made it to the Launching Pad, and only once to Turner Field, even though I lived four hours away for a few years.
February 21st, 2013 at 4:03 PM
Here’s the clip with Colbert on Curb. Awesome.
February 21st, 2013 at 4:03 PM
Yeah, I think it was the one when Larry was on The Producers. I miss that show.
February 21st, 2013 at 4:04 PM
Yup. And the football timeouts have an affect on momentum. There is nothing worse than when a crowd gets pumped up at a game after an interception, only to have to wait around for 3 minutes while CBS goes to commercial so Verne can take a pee break.
February 21st, 2013 at 4:05 PM
I was an hour and a half away from Turner Field while at Auburn. Nothing better than getting $5 tickets and trying to get past the seat nazis they have working there to find better seats, especially since that ballpark is never even close to full.
February 21st, 2013 at 4:11 PM
I hated those bastards they used to have at Riverfront in Cincy. Went to a day game with a crowd of about 5,000, got upper deck seats and after one inning moved down to an open section of the good seats. Usher chased us out, back to the upper deck, and actually followed us to make sure we went.
February 21st, 2013 at 4:12 PM
A baseball v. soccer thread? Reminds me of the good old days of the “golf isnt a sport” arguments.
/
used to piss Spence off on purpose
February 21st, 2013 at 5:13 PM
Colbert got too big in the britches once his show launched to do voiceovers for Cartoon Network shows (all via telephone, mind you) and had his assistant quit for him. Fuck him.
February 21st, 2013 at 5:28 PM
finally, a conversation about soccer. the fluidity is what’s always drawn me to it. quick decision, quick decision, quick decision. i get why people dont like watching though, it’s all about possession. do not give that fucking ball away, even if it means knocking it all the way back. attacking is really difficult against high level defense so you have to probe around, and in general that is not exciting. no slam dunks or home runs. but every once in a while…..que golazo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l09tZPdcaB0