Former San Francisco 49er Kwame Harris Arrested For Attacking Ex-Boyfriend Over “Soy Sauce and Underwear” [UPDATE: Read the Civil Complaint]
A story about Kwame Harris has now given us an early entrant for lede of the year.
Former San Francisco 49ers and Oakland Raiders offensive tackle Kwame Harris will appear in San Mateo County Superior Court today on charges he assaulted his former boyfriend at a Menlo Park restaurant during an argument over soy sauce and underwear.
A fight over soy sauce and underwear? Weekly occurrence where I come from. Just to clear it up, Kwame Harris – who was San Francisco’s first round pick in 2003, and last played in 2008 for Oakland–was upset when ex-boyfriend Dimitri Geier poured soy sauce over a plate of rice. Harris then later tried to pull Geier’s pants down and accused him of stealing his underwear. Much better. I was worried the soy sauce was actually going in the underwear. That would have been weird.
[UPDATE: You can read the civil complaint, in its entirety, right here.]
[photos via San Mateo Daily Journal, USA Today Sports Images]

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97 Responses to “Former San Francisco 49er Kwame Harris Arrested For Attacking Ex-Boyfriend Over “Soy Sauce and Underwear” [UPDATE: Read the Civil Complaint]”
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January 28th, 2013 at 3:59 PM
Ah yes, San Francisco.
/no coop
January 28th, 2013 at 4:00 PM
that is so raycess
/sweet n’ sour’d
January 28th, 2013 at 4:00 PM
*Speechless*
January 28th, 2013 at 4:03 PM
Pshaw, there’s no such thing as a gay football player.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:05 PM
this totally reads like a story in the Onion
January 28th, 2013 at 4:05 PM
He was fucking terrible.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:06 PM
Harris = Bear
Geier = Tink
Wait, is his name pronounced “Gayer”?
January 28th, 2013 at 4:07 PM
nothing ever ends good if you are named “Kwame”
See, Exhibit A: Kilpatrick and Exhibit B: Brown
January 28th, 2013 at 4:08 PM
And HGH is not used whatsoever in the NFL!
January 28th, 2013 at 4:08 PM
Speaking of gay footballers, who would shock you the most to learn that he is gay? I’d nominate Ray Lewis.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:08 PM
maybe he prefered donkey sauce
January 28th, 2013 at 4:10 PM
Peyton Manning.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:11 PM
I got to say…this would piss me off too. However, I would just request more rice.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:12 PM
Soy Sauce is one of those things that 3 drops is a good amount, but 4 ruins everything. Just so strong. You get him, Kwame.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:12 PM
Speaking of gay footballers, who would shock you the most to learn that he is gay? I’d nominate Ray Lewis.
can’t be te’o. he’s faaaaar from it
January 28th, 2013 at 4:12 PM
Someone has a J-Mac case of hatred for all things Vols, methinks [points at Husker]
January 28th, 2013 at 4:12 PM
Speaking of gay footballers, who would shock you the most to learn that he is gay? I’d nominate Ray Lewis.
Antonio Cromartie
January 28th, 2013 at 4:13 PM
Soy Sauce is one of those things that 3 drops is a good amount, but 4 ruins everything. Just so strong. You get him, Kwame.
/Coop?
January 28th, 2013 at 4:13 PM
From another post – “the jokes write themselves”.
/Nada’d
Lisk, between the “I will hunt you down” comment and this, I worry about you, brotha. Maybe you’ve been with us too long…lol
January 28th, 2013 at 4:13 PM
Speaking of gay footballers, who would shock you the most to learn that he is gay? I’d nominate Ray Lewis.
Peyton Manning.
Agreed.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:13 PM
I don’t think you understood the exercise.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:13 PM
Actually, I want to change my answer to Eli.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:13 PM
holding flag
January 28th, 2013 at 4:14 PM
Kwame is gay? In SF? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
This is sexist. If he were straight and pimpslapped his gf over dinner and pulled her pants down; end of the world and a result of concussions foisted on him by a barbaric sport. The Gays have it so easy…
January 28th, 2013 at 4:14 PM
I don’t think you read the TN thread
January 28th, 2013 at 4:14 PM
Isn’t that the new album from Frank Ocean?
/ +1 Chris Brown beatdown in the parking lot
January 28th, 2013 at 4:15 PM
Travis Henry
January 28th, 2013 at 4:15 PM
Beat me to it.
I would be legitimately surprised. Dude is a Southern Christian man who donated to all things Rep party, has a wife and a few kids and has a mistress in Indy (not sure if she made the move or not).
January 28th, 2013 at 4:16 PM
Shock end of the spectrum: Rodgers, Tebow.
Non-shock end of the spectrum: Teo, Tebow.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:16 PM
I did. But I still think you may be confused about what is going on here.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:16 PM
I don’t hate Tenn at all. I just know that, when looking at the history of the SEC, the big three in the East can’t all be good at the same time, though two of them can be. I’m just happy Tenn is stepping up and taking one for the team.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:17 PM
I was not aware that Kwame Harris was gay. I was definitely aware that he sucked.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:17 PM
Jeff Garcia
January 28th, 2013 at 4:17 PM
this dude is a hear older than me and is that gray? damn.
well, i’ve lose that much hair so i guess my point is moot.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:17 PM
Hmm, it seems like those qualities make him an ideal candidate to be gay.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:17 PM
William Gay.
It says so right on the back of his jersey.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:18 PM
From what I’ve been told were Kwame gay it would have been almost impossible for him to control his dark sexual urges during that team mooning Mike Singletary offered.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:18 PM
Imagine the lifetime network movie on that one. “The world’s most elaborate cover: The Travis Henry Story brought to you by Hallmark.”
January 28th, 2013 at 4:18 PM
I would be legitimately surprised. Dude is a Southern Christian man who donated to all things Rep party, has a wife and a few kids and has a mistress in Indy (not sure if she made the move or not).
Link?
January 28th, 2013 at 4:19 PM
JCK49ersfan, Vernon Davis writes poetry or something, no?
January 28th, 2013 at 4:19 PM
I laughed when I saw he was a part of 3 consecutive 1st rounders that included Mike Rumph and Rashaun Woods. Fuck you, Dennis Erickson.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:19 PM
I’d agree except for his mistress. It’s pretty well known he had a lady on the side in Indy.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:20 PM
Jared Allen
January 28th, 2013 at 4:20 PM
Kwame Harris last played for the Florida Tuskers.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:21 PM
It’s one of those things that no one talked about yet everyone knew in Indy. I can’t link to it because it was never written about as far as I know.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:21 PM
Not sure on the poetry, but he’s very artistic. Big in to interior design, fashion, etc. They had a really cool profile on him for E60 a while back. Definitely a different person now than when he came in to the league.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:21 PM
Vernon Davis writes poetry or something
I heard he enjoys musical theater.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:22 PM
Uh-oh, McNair had a lady on the side in Nashville, and we all know how that turned out.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:22 PM
Shut it down. We have a winner.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:22 PM
I dreamed a dream of time gone byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
January 28th, 2013 at 4:22 PM
Peyton Manning has a gay mistress?
January 28th, 2013 at 4:22 PM
Vernon tops my list of “most likely to be gay” NFL players.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:23 PM
Snitches get stitches, yo.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:24 PM
Speaking of gay footballers, who would shock you the most to learn that he is gay? I’d nominate Ray Lewis.
Peyton Manning.
Agreed.
Two Two Two! Balls in your mouth!
points from balls to mouth
backs up, hurries forward to bent over man.
wildly gesticulates, colors
January 28th, 2013 at 4:24 PM
If Peyton played in NY you can be damn sure we would know who he was fucking, but Indy was more than willing to keep that shit on the hush hush as he was the entire reason people gave a shit about the city.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:24 PM
He’d be perfect for playdates with Mike Greenberg.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:25 PM
If Peyton played in NY you can be damn sure we would know who he was fucking, but Indy was more than willing to keep that shit on the hush hush as he was the entire reason people gave a shit about the city.
I enjoy Indy because of the clean streets and convenience of travel.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:25 PM
Speaking of gay footballers, who would shock you the most to learn that he is gay? I’d nominate Ray Lewis.
least shocking: Chris Kluwe and Brendon Ayanbadejo
January 28th, 2013 at 4:26 PM
So Jeff Saturday was giving him an opportunity to cop a goobye feel at the Pro Bowl?
January 28th, 2013 at 4:26 PM
Tebow would shock me the least.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:26 PM
Speaking of gay footballers, who would shock you the most to learn that he is gay? I’d nominate Ray Lewis.
I would not be shocked if Vernon Davis was gay.
And Clay Matthews is gay.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:27 PM
least shocking addition: Brian Finneran
January 28th, 2013 at 4:27 PM
I enjoy Indy because of the clean streets and convenience of travel.
i’ve enjoyed Indy from the viewpoint of 465
January 28th, 2013 at 4:27 PM
I enjoy Indy because of the clean streets and convenience of travel.
i’ve enjoyed Indy from the viewpoint of 465
January 28th, 2013 at 4:28 PM
Not one Troy Aikman is gay joke. I’m surprised.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:29 PM
Was there color on his underwear?
January 28th, 2013 at 4:30 PM
And Clay Matthews is gay.
too ugly
January 28th, 2013 at 4:31 PM
OT (and probable Duckworth):
http://www.salon.com/2012/12/28/jeff_bridges_making_the_giver_movie/
I’m skeptical they’ll be able to pull it off, but looking forward to the attempt.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:31 PM
Not one Troy Aikman is gay joke. I’m surprised.
Too obvious.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:31 PM
Every year tons of people predict that an athlete in a major sport will come out. I think we are years away from that.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:31 PM
Speaking of soy sauce, My PF Chang’s lunch sure didn’t stay with me very long. 4 hours later and I’m way more hungry than I should be.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:33 PM
needs more vaginas
January 28th, 2013 at 4:34 PM
Speaking of gay footballers, who would shock you the most to learn that he is gay? I’d nominate Ray Lewis.
Vince Woolfork
January 28th, 2013 at 4:36 PM
His wife could turn a man guy, that’s for sure.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:36 PM
gay*
January 28th, 2013 at 4:37 PM
yeah, his secret Gay lover killed them both, staged a suicide and is now on the run from Detective JMac.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:38 PM
He’s a career phony, so way down the list. I have to go Cromartie
January 28th, 2013 at 4:39 PM
really? it took 4 comments for someone to say “Gay” and 6 comments for the first “Bear” “twink” reference.
seems like we’re already in a post-gay nfl society.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:39 PM
Terrell Suggs could be gay.
Aaron Rodgers wouldnt surprise based on how sensitive he is about everything.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:40 PM
Instant legend.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:40 PM
I recall stories about him having an apartment next to the downdownt town mall. He’d just walk into the Bennigan’s (ed. probably not Bennigan’s) and pick out a chick. This was pre-marriage tho.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:41 PM
So that was the happening on the peninsula…this is what was going on in Oakland.
http://blog.sfgate.com/crime/2013/01/28/sideshow-stunt-shuts-down-i-880-video/
January 28th, 2013 at 4:41 PM
i’m assuming so they could go back to his place, do their nails and watch “what not to wear” marathons, right?
January 28th, 2013 at 4:42 PM
Non-shock end of the spectrum: Teo, Tebow.
Vince Young and Braylon Edwards
January 28th, 2013 at 4:45 PM
Based on that statement, can we make assumptions about the condition of your underwear?
January 28th, 2013 at 4:47 PM
http://ennvy.com/vince-wilforks-wife/#5
Woof! If she ain’t a man, she’s damn close.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:48 PM
Unless these mouthbreathers obscured their plates, they can all expect a knock on the door from the po-po real soon.
January 28th, 2013 at 4:49 PM
Based on that statement, can we make assumptions about the condition of your underwear?
No skid or soy marks. No color either.
January 28th, 2013 at 5:04 PM
Based on that statement, can we make assumptions about the condition of your underwear?
No skid or soy marks. No color either.
projectile vomits corn like a gatlin gun
January 28th, 2013 at 5:19 PM
Apple sauce & pork chops > soy sauce & underwear
January 28th, 2013 at 5:34 PM
Sardines & Pork n Beans > Apple sauce & pork chops > soy sauce & underwear
/Junkyard Band
January 28th, 2013 at 6:16 PM
Te’o is available…..
January 28th, 2013 at 8:13 PM
This isn’t funny at all. The ex suffered broken bones in his face from Harris punching him, resulting in surgery and metal plates being inserted.
Domestic violence is not cool, not funny at all, whether it’s being heterosexuals or homosexuals. I think TBL should take this post down or at least apologize for the tone. Nothing about it is funny or cute.
January 28th, 2013 at 8:41 PM
charlie – this is a wild story, nobody is saying it is funny.
there are also court documents and this is could wind up sending someone to jail.
you really don’t think this is news/post worthy?
January 28th, 2013 at 9:25 PM
Charliewade is Mamalickaboobooday?!
January 28th, 2013 at 9:35 PM
Charliewade sounds like a good time. Sensitive and sanctimonious
January 28th, 2013 at 9:39 PM
You’re not funny, this is not funny.
/ Don’t call me pal
// I’m not your pal, friend