Fifth Grade Phenom Julian “Handles” Newman Plays Point Guard For High School Basketball Team
Generally, having a 4’5″ starting point guard is a bad thing. Not the case here as Julian Newman is more than up to the task. How is this possible you ask? One of Newman’s opposing coaches provides some insight:
“Oh yeah, they announced his name and the whole deal,” said Crooms Academy head coach Don Smith, an opponent of Downey Christian’s last week. “Downey Christian is a real small private school and they put a little bit of anybody out there. He’s a little bitty thing, but he’s very talented.”
It should come as no surprise that Julian Newman’s father is the head coach at Downey Christian. Honestly, I can sympathize. I was once a coach at a very small private school, I remember looking in the crib and wishing my oldest son could help us out. Schools like Downey Christian don’t have a large supply of athletes so you work with what you have, even if you have to create one.
Not to throw water on all of this, but parents seem so focused into turning their children into the next LeBron, Kobe or Tiger, that they lose sight of rearing a healthy, balanced well-adjusted child. Odds are that young Mr. Newman won’t make the NBA, then what? You have an adult who’s lived his whole life thinking he was going to cash in a lottery ticket. This can’t be a healthy trend in the long term.
That being said, as soon I’m finished writing this I’m taking my 8 and 9 year old boys in the backyard to get some shots up.

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55 Responses to “Fifth Grade Phenom Julian “Handles” Newman Plays Point Guard For High School Basketball Team”
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December 21st, 2012 at 1:31 PM
He’s a little bitty thing, but he’s very talented.
That sounds really gross. Don Smith is a disgusting man.
December 21st, 2012 at 1:38 PM
Ronny, Ronny, Ronny. I know you’re not getting paid much, but this was in the Roundup yesterday.
December 21st, 2012 at 1:39 PM
Gotta say, I’m really shocked right now. I thought Ronny was 18-19 year old college kid.
Of course, this could just be his attempt at humor that I’ve misread.
December 21st, 2012 at 1:41 PM
Handles is a pretty awesome nickname. I watched like half the video and I don’t mean to sound like an asshole, but someone needs to plant that little shit every once in a while when he gets into that paint. Send a little message. It seems like they’re afraid to check him when he drives to the bucket. And how do you not block every single shot the kid takes. The ball is released 3 feet from the ground.
December 21st, 2012 at 1:41 PM
Ronny, you should work for money if you’ve got kids. You can’t support them with “learning experiences”
December 21st, 2012 at 1:42 PM
Seriously though, this fucking bums me out so much. Fuck this shitty ass job market where people who have families to support have to take on unpaid internships.
December 21st, 2012 at 1:44 PM
To me, the -ny was more indicative than working for free
December 21st, 2012 at 1:48 PM
Ronny- DO NOT let your wife go to Vegas
December 21st, 2012 at 1:51 PM
Why not post that little fucker up and put him through the wringer down low?
December 21st, 2012 at 1:56 PM
/Coop’d
December 21st, 2012 at 1:59 PM
Why not post that little fucker up and put him through the wringer down low?
From what I saw the competition is poorly coached and without much basketball ability.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:01 PM
I’m passing time in the Craig James thread. This one absolutely killed me:
Craig James begins every holocaust discussion with an eye roll.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:02 PM
While we’re giving real basketball answers, I doubt the opponent has five position post ups installed within their system, a la the triangle offense
December 21st, 2012 at 2:03 PM
Sure this has been posted, but if not, you’re welcome.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:04 PM
Why not post that little fucker up and put him through the wringer down low?
They are playing a box-and-one on D
December 21st, 2012 at 2:04 PM
Craig James is the annual keynote speaker at David Irving’s birthday parties
December 21st, 2012 at 2:05 PM
ms, if you;re gonna bring up great comments you have to attribute. it’s only right
December 21st, 2012 at 2:06 PM
ms, if you;re gonna bring up great comments you have to attribute. it’s only right
It’s all recorded in the Craig James thread, vez.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:06 PM
Youtube Detective Ronny, earning that paycheck.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:08 PM
i’m pretty the competition in that video is one of those….vocational schools (gags).
December 21st, 2012 at 2:09 PM
You know whinylittlebitchpms621 is only quoting his own greatest hits (not verified by me)…coop’d
/ meme’d
December 21st, 2012 at 2:09 PM
It’s all recorded in the Craig James thread, vez.
you;re the bonehead reliving the past tho
December 21st, 2012 at 2:10 PM
ha gfunk
December 21st, 2012 at 2:14 PM
Ronny do you get a per diem?
December 21st, 2012 at 2:18 PM
A per diem? What is he, a college football player?
December 21st, 2012 at 2:18 PM
guys, maybe ronny knows what he’s doing. no one forced him to do this. he either has a wife with a good job, an inheritance, saved up a bunch in his former career as a ronald and is following a dream, or it’s none of our biz
December 21st, 2012 at 2:20 PM
I enjoyed that. Thanks.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:20 PM
Doesn’t make it legal, but yeah basically I agree who cares
December 21st, 2012 at 2:21 PM
It’s only a thing because the EIC thinks that college football players should be paid (cash…not counting the $250k+ they receive in benefits) because they bring in money for the schools. Likewise, Ronny should be paid based on the money he brings in for USAT/TBL…unless they are hypocrites.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:23 PM
classic case of parents not being around for the guy. If Ronny had been brought up in a stable household, he’d probably be getting paid to write for sports blog, amirite?
December 21st, 2012 at 2:23 PM
PLSK…
My daughter (2 years old) has added your “Jesus chewing his nails” joke to her repertoire. She now has two jokes.
/Other one is “What’s ET short for?”
…”He’s got small legs”
December 21st, 2012 at 2:24 PM
Doesn’t make it legal
i don’t get this. if the intern agrees/signs paperwork saying he/she understands the pay is the experience/exposure — time investment in career — why is it illegal to work for ‘free’?
if someone is taken advantage of or duped, then obviously.
i don’t mean to recycle a discussion that many people with paying jobs feel so passionately about
December 21st, 2012 at 2:24 PM
And because ball busting is in our DNA
December 21st, 2012 at 2:24 PM
I worked as an unpaid intern in 2008 in real estate and got free lunch to subsidize all of the bullshit grunt work I did…
December 21st, 2012 at 2:25 PM
This slayed me. Lady I sit near in the office just gave me one of those looks that says “I know you’re not doing any actual work, but what the hell are you laughing so hard about?”
December 21st, 2012 at 2:26 PM
Do you understand why we have a minimum wage?
December 21st, 2012 at 2:26 PM
Ronny should be paid
he is, with experience and exposure. college athletes also get paid this way. many of them in fact choose a school based on media exposure. i don’t care either way, but this is what i think about being paid. no one forced the players or unpaid interns to partake
December 21st, 2012 at 2:28 PM
Fantastic. I’m glad I can help through the interwebs anyway possible.
Why do Catholic priests love Jesus so much?
/Stretches out arms
//”Because he’s hung like this”
///Merry Christmas to all
December 21st, 2012 at 2:29 PM
For maybe 0.1% of them…they all get paid by scholarships, books, food, housing, tutoring, and occasional town toasting.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:29 PM
Do you understand why we have a minimum wage?
i bet i don’t, but i also think this job is not the same as working at mcd’s or kohl’s. interns to me are folks looking for real-world experience rather than classroom only. folks working for minimum wage need the money, they are doing that job to feed the family or the veins. internships are stepping stones
December 21st, 2012 at 2:30 PM
Pure gold.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:30 PM
Yes, because the government doesn’t understand economics
December 21st, 2012 at 2:31 PM
Fair enough…but I got paid for mine. Not much, but it helped.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:32 PM
they all get paid by scholarships, books, food, housing, tutoring, and occasional town toasting.
i agree. i tend to lean on the side of they get paid enough already. people get incensed because the revenue brought in is so high, but that in itself doesn;t mean players ‘should’ get paid, just that it’s possible (or onot, with all the programs in the red)
again, the bottom line for me in all this is…were they forced into the agreement? if not, why does anyone else care about a personal choice?
December 21st, 2012 at 2:32 PM
If you want to change the law then call your congressperson, but it’s illegal because the law says for-profit companies can’t have people work for them for free.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:33 PM
Fair enough…but I got paid for mine. Not much, but it helped.
same here, for the two i had, but that doesn’t mean everyone should. some industries are so choice that the companies know they don;t have to pay.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:34 PM
i don’t want to change the law gfunk, just windering why it’s a law. i don;t see any evil, and it doesn;t affect me like it did 23 years ago, so i will now shrug
December 21st, 2012 at 2:35 PM
Mine was choice…had applications for my job everyday. However, the company paid me anyway.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:35 PM
man, i’ve got the holiday typing shakes more than usual
December 21st, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Just part of the employment/labor law in this country. At some point we decided people should be paid for their labor. Personally I don’t really think this one is all that big of a deal as compared to things like child labor laws and overtime laws and stuff, but still as a general rule I agree if a company is profiting from your work you should be paid something for it.
December 21st, 2012 at 2:41 PM
as a general rule I agree if a company is profiting from your work you should be paid something for it.
absolutely. i just don’t equate internships with meaning a whole lot to a company’s bottom line. many companies do it as a community outreach or in league with a university for relationships. if an intern felt he or she was making money for a company, i would hope that intern would speak up and make demands
December 21st, 2012 at 2:59 PM
Dear vez, kindly eat my ass.
Thanks,
Craig James
December 21st, 2012 at 3:08 PM
if an intern felt he or she was making money for a company, i would hope that intern would speak up and make demands
Well, good thing there are laws in place to protect the meek ones.
December 21st, 2012 at 4:41 PM
If you guys wanna hold a telethon short of that I’m good. It’s a blast having ppl view my work, I’m moonlighting here. Chasing my dream. I have a good job and I dont sleep.
December 21st, 2012 at 4:48 PM
The Craig James thread killed all my Internet sessions here at work.