Steve Serby of the New York Post thinks that the Mark Sanchez era is over. Since Serby is a newspaper columnist, that means he needs to use some colorful, punny, simile-filled schlock in a painfully stupid column. Because you don’t need to waste your time reading it or marveling at Serby’s well-coiffed hair, I have extracted all the juiciest and dumbest parts of his column for you to read in one long sentence that makes no less sense than if the words had been left in their original order. May I present to you…

For buttfumble’s sake, let this Mark the end of Sanchez’s time with Jets

Seriously, that’s the title. Enjoy.

mad as hell and can’t take it anymore

green-and-white Buttmobile

put all their eggs in Sanchez’s basket and all of them are scrambled

steers the Titanic into the stormiest seas throw Sanchez overboard

deep-6 No.6

Broadway Mark

fiddled while Sanchez burned

Tebow Time was a complete waste of time — their time, his time, Sanchez’s time

Free-bow

If Ryan still thinks Sanchez will be taking him to the White House one day, the owner should have the baseline test administered to Ryan for a possible concussion

McElroy had about as much chance of playing as Vinny Testaverde

modern-day dry version of Richard Todd

Tebowmania

He is Ollie Perez

$anchez

an irresponsible leap off the fiscal cliff

insurance policy once Tebow earns his hostage release

start up the Buttmobile

Steve Serby. Your column. Woof.