Michigan Unveils Special Outback Bowl Uniforms, Horrifying Matte Helmets
Michigan unveiled its special edition uniforms for the Outback Bowl, because that’s a thing Michigan does now. Sully the white away jersey with cynical, reshuffled color combinations (how many shades of something not Maize can we find in the Crayola box?). Fine. But, seriously, a matte helmet? At Michigan?
Persistent tweaks to generate short-term sales boosts. Clumsy adoption of trends past their sell by date. Michigan’s once iconic uniform has become delivery pizza. The matte helmet is stuffing banal mozzarella into the crust.
Looking at the nation’s top revenue programs the secret is really…having an iconic uniform and seldom (if ever) deviating from it.

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33 Responses to “Michigan Unveils Special Outback Bowl Uniforms, Horrifying Matte Helmets”
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December 18th, 2012 at 5:07 PM
Atrocious
December 18th, 2012 at 5:08 PM
The matte helmet is stuffing banal mozzarella into the crust.
What would be the equivalent of stuffing Pule into banal pizza? Or even better, exciting pizza?
December 18th, 2012 at 5:09 PM
i prefer the matte helmets over the shiny ones.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:11 PM
how is that any worse than their standard away jersey?
not gonna lie, i liked the bumble bee unis.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:11 PM
It doesn’t really look that bad to me. The shirt looks stupid mainly because of the Outback Bowl patch. Maybe they could have used a less neon yellow but it’s not the worst.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:12 PM
so, nothing about Denard’s guilty plea?
December 18th, 2012 at 5:14 PM
They’ll look even worse covered in cleat marks
December 18th, 2012 at 5:14 PM
the matte is pretty bad…fortunately it’s not the dominant color. the yellow still attracts most of the attention, though it’ll probably look totally different under the lights.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:14 PM
Should have a Bloomin’ Onion on there
December 18th, 2012 at 5:15 PM
The Outback patch is kewl.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:17 PM
it should just be a black and white memorial patch that says KNOIFE.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:18 PM
clearly im commenting under too much influence…godspeed yall.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:19 PM
If Michigan was in the SEC would we get more posts about all their player arrests?
December 18th, 2012 at 5:20 PM
That’s not a knife, that’s a spoon.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:21 PM
Can you spell that?
December 18th, 2012 at 5:21 PM
I do too.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:22 PM
Gross. So what was Denard doing in Bath Township at 1 AM on a Sunday?
/drug mule
December 18th, 2012 at 5:36 PM
Bath Township in Ohio? Hanging out with Lebron maybe? His house is in Bath
December 18th, 2012 at 5:36 PM
I used to like the Outback Steakhouse. No more. And Gee is overpaid by any measure, especially when that self righteous douche spends so much on useless expense.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:39 PM
I used to like the Outback Steakhouse
i never liked it because i am usually not a fan of crap.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:41 PM
That’s not a knife, that’s a spoon.
there is no spoon
December 18th, 2012 at 5:42 PM
Prolly not.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:43 PM
I loved Oklahoma States matte black helmets.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:43 PM
I used to like the Outback Steakhouse
i never liked it because i am usually not a fan of crap.
It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just that it’s horribly uncreative and derivative. Outback is to steak what Chili’s is to hamburgers.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:45 PM
what’s the name of the home jersey?
December 18th, 2012 at 5:51 PM
what’s the name of the home jersey?
Tahme
December 18th, 2012 at 5:56 PM
With Brady Hoke as coach, you know the pizza itself is the Super Meat Lover’s Special.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:58 PM
Would it look better in gingham?
/ Cincinnati’d
December 18th, 2012 at 5:58 PM
Fuck it, I could really go for a Bloomin’ Onion right about now.
December 18th, 2012 at 6:45 PM
Na, there’ll be plenty of OSU posts once Urb gets his felons on campus though
December 18th, 2012 at 7:25 PM
Barfs.
Knows they’ll be another fucked up uni just in time for the Michigan/ND night game in nine months.
December 19th, 2012 at 8:34 AM
why don’t these fags just wear dresses?
December 19th, 2012 at 10:45 AM
The helmet is terrible, but your argument about revenues for programs is invalid, as Michigan is 2nd on the list.