Roundup: Powerball Winners, Alex Morgan’s Hat Trick, Kate Middleton’s New Haircut, Hobbit Sneak Peek
Kelly Brook … front page image … Lindsay Lohan punched a woman in the face this morning … Nostradamus on PSY … bonus Erin Heatherton … secret Gmail feature … Bill Murray … the key to immortal jellyfish … Washington Times cutting staff again … woman hit, scratched boyfriend for bad sex, arrested … what if we had another Civil War … two people won Powerball last night … it is news when no one is stabbed or shot in NYC for an entire day … woman assaults girlfriend because of missing sex toy … Kate Middleton got a new haircut!
Here’s a long feature on, “America’s football coach,” Jon Gruden. [New Yorker]
David Aldridge is ready to call Jan Vesely a complete bust. Predicts he’ll be out of the league in 5 years. [WaPo]
Chris Petersen to Cal? [Mercury News]
Ndamukong Suh was fined $30,000 for kicking Matt Schaub in the nuts. [Detroit News]
Alex Morgan had a hat trick last night as USA beat Ireland, 5-0. [Boston Herald]
Colin Kaepernick named starter again. [USA Today]
Mike Tyson is taking his show on the road. [Reuters]
A 30 for 30 mini-documentary on… the Arnold Palmer. [Grantland]
The man with the world’s biggest biceps has been accused of steroid use. He answered his critics with a dismissive, “Do you even lift, bro?” [Austin.360]
Pretty sweet compilation of HD videos of people doing extreme stuff.
This is pretty insane. Father and daughter go kayaking and some whales surface right next to them.
The first look at The Hobbit. His advice should have been to stick him with the pointy end. [Update: Son of a son of a bitch. Glad I didn't put this in the title of the post or anything. I'm sure the 40-second clip would have destroyed the opening weekend box office.] [Update 2: Here's the clip. Watch it before it gets taken down in 5 minutes.]
No mention of Jimmer? For shame.
Alison Brie doing swoon-worthy things.
This guy covered an entire Chris Brown song in Family Guy voices.
- Paul George’s Vicious Dunk on Birdman Was Not Rated PG [Video]
- Matt Harvey, the New York Mets’ Star Pitcher, is Dating SI Swimsuit Model Anne V
- The Kansas City Royals Are Becoming the Royals Again, and Fans Have Been Far Too Patient
- Champions League: Bayern Munich a Legacy of Losing at Stake
- Teddy Bridgewater Declined Heisman Promotion, But Louisville May Need That Attention
- A.P. on The Kansas City Royals Are Becoming the Royals Again, and Fans Have Been Far Too Patient
- A.P. on The Kansas City Royals Are Becoming the Royals Again, and Fans Have Been Far Too Patient
- Monster is Meth on The Kansas City Royals Are Becoming the Royals Again, and Fans Have Been Far Too Patient
- Jason McIntyre on Paul George's Vicious Dunk on Birdman Was Not Rated PG [Video]
- A.P. on The Kansas City Royals Are Becoming the Royals Again, and Fans Have Been Far Too Patient
388 Responses to “Roundup: Powerball Winners, Alex Morgan’s Hat Trick, Kate Middleton’s New Haircut, Hobbit Sneak Peek”
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Wayne Gretzky Got Drunk at a Bar in South Carolina [Photos]
November 29th, 2012 at 8:25 AM
Well researched roundup.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:26 AM
I may or may not have won a shit load of money last night
/probably not
November 29th, 2012 at 8:28 AM
HD video montage was pretty cool.
/needs more surfer chicks in thongs
November 29th, 2012 at 8:30 AM
More videos than links. A Gangnam parody. Oh hey there Stephen.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:30 AM
Also: BAG OF DICKS FOR AARON CRAFT
November 29th, 2012 at 8:31 AM
Alison Brie win the most likable + attractive contest for me.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:32 AM
woman hit, scratched boyfriend for bad sex, arrested
Florida? Florida.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:33 AM
Stephen, thank you. Cherries on a bikini, brilliant!!!
Aren’t we all winners this morning with this Roundup pic??? Another pic of the lovely Kelly Brook, sorta NSFWish. She gets it ALL day.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:35 AM
I think this pretty much means Kaepernick is the starter from here on out. Nice knowin’ ya, Alex Smith. It’s not you… it’s every single coach you’ve ever had in SF.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:36 AM
Allison Brie
/swoons
Great videos today there Jma…..Stephen!
November 29th, 2012 at 8:36 AM
tonight’s contest of oblong spheroid looks rather promising
November 29th, 2012 at 8:37 AM
I swear to God I have had enough Alex Smith/Colin Kaepernick talk to last me a life time. I know I know, it’s my fault for listening to ESPN radio while I shower.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:38 AM
I read that immortal jellyfish article yesterday. Very good start but began reading like a bio textbook and I couldn’t finish. If that article was a Florida woman, there’d be scratches all over my face.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:38 AM
Likely his worst game in 3 years at OSU. He was not good last night, at all.
Props to Plumlee. He has really improved. Dude has the physical tools (and is now starting to play like it) to make a lot of dough in the Association.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:39 AM
can she just be the permanent roundup chick?
November 29th, 2012 at 8:40 AM
Holy shit, get a load of what Evangeline Lilly looks like now
November 29th, 2012 at 8:41 AM
someone in Missourah is going to have the meth party of a lifetime.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:42 AM
i know the name evangeline lilly, but cant think of what she’s from…not sure she warrants a googlin’ either.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:43 AM
The worst character on Lost
November 29th, 2012 at 8:43 AM
HOLY SHIT THAT VID HAS THE GREATEST ASS OF ALL TIME!!!
November 29th, 2012 at 8:43 AM
ah…domo.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:44 AM
Listening to ESPN radio is your first issue.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:45 AM
but seriously…that dude’s arms are chock full of oil. no fucking way that’s muscle.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:46 AM
I just need some sort of background noise while I shower, I get bored. And on my little radio it’s either that or the local AM station that talks about what’s in the newspaper that morning.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:46 AM
holy shit our country’s full of fucking retards.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:46 AM
It’ll be like Chappelle’s $400k crack party
November 29th, 2012 at 8:47 AM
+1 thought the same thing. It looks like it has it’s own continental shelf there
/from my college days of GEOSCI 010
November 29th, 2012 at 8:47 AM
I picture him sitting on a couch, with tiny little legs dangling to the ground, answering phone calls saying “So how muchya bench?”
November 29th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
I thought the dude with the biggest biceps was injecting that Synthol shit.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
The whale video was awesome.
The worst character on Lost
Sun would like a word with you
November 29th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
“So how muchya bench?”
about 420
420 pieces? wow
pieces? wait, what the fuck you talking about? POUNDS BABY, POUNDS.
/frank rizzo’d
November 29th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
Does Lindsay ever just think that it might be a good idea to not go out on some nights so that she can get up early to go for a run in the morning? I’m guessing not.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
I just need some sort of background noise while I shower, I get bored
Pandora forever
November 29th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
The worst character on Lost?
orientalchinese riddle. it’s all of them.November 29th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
Pandora is crap. Long live Spotify.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Mint family feeling better?
November 29th, 2012 at 8:55 AM
From the NYT article:
I would like to request that, if they must do a new Ghostbusters movie, that it include Bill Murray or not get done at all.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:56 AM
pretty cool stuff…except for that dude swinging around Corona Arch. he’s a jackass for setting anchors in the rock to anchor his rope swing.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:56 AM
Ive become an I Heart Radio loyalist
November 29th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
i like to sing in the shower.
/all i got
November 29th, 2012 at 8:58 AM
woman hit, scratched boyfriend for bad sex, arrested
I’ve deserved to be hit and scratched many times, but i’m cat quick
November 29th, 2012 at 8:58 AM
Click play on the Whale watching Video and then change tabs or something just so you can’t see the video. Now let your brain go to work.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:58 AM
I guess also because I’m cat quick I’ve deserved to be hit and scratched many times.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
That civil war thing was interesting.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:01 AM
i take a shower after i take a poo! i fire up my loofah and then i use shampoo!
/iron maiden’s ‘the loofah’
//metal mursday
November 29th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
I only skimmed it but I’d like to sit down and read the whole thing when I have time. That shit fascinates me. Could make a movie about that.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:03 AM
Anybody find themsleves liking the artists on that artist’s channel just so you can hear more of that artist?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:04 AM
Talk about a new idea for Hollywood. Make it a series of movies.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:04 AM
who is the commenter that tweeted me and Tim about the Winter meetings?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:04 AM
Yeah my wife is doing much better. Got out of the house yesterday for a bit and even made dinner. That’s the stuff that really lets me know she’s feeling human again.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
yea…ive got it down to where my quick mix is almost entirely iron maiden, jaco pastorius, derek trucks, queen and rachmaninoff.
but no matter how many times i give the thumbs down to the beatles and ac/dc, they still pop up. bastards.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
When butt implants go awry:
http://92kqrs.com/Article.asp?id=2583428&spid=6546
November 29th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
tim ryan? you mean the guy who’s belt size is ‘equator?’
November 29th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
I just need some sort of background noise while I shower, I get bored.
then just fart. its more entertaining than mike and mike.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
That’s the stuff that really lets me know she’s feeling human again.
its crazy how much better that can make things.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
Yeah my wife is doing much better. Got out of the house yesterday for a bit and even made dinner. That’s the stuff that really lets me know she’s feeling human again.
now come off the push present, amirite? Seriously, that’s a difficult and dangerous job.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
Kate-centric episodes were the worst
November 29th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
*first artist singular.
I ike CCR, but they pop up on nearly every channel I have – even old school Bob Wills. CCR now get the thumbs down, but cannot be killed.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
WideWordofSport? He literally has the same twitter handle as his commenter name.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
id rather drag my bare ass along hot concrete than listen to CCR.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
Shannon taking a bullet was the high point of the series for me
November 29th, 2012 at 9:10 AM
now come off the push present, amirite? Seriously, that’s a difficult and dangerous job.
My wife is killing me this month. She is getting push present, (due date dec 25)Christmas gift, and Birthday Jan 5.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:10 AM
That Civil War article was on Slate? Surprised they didn’t pick Rhode Island or some other contrarian winner.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:10 AM
Pandora is crap. Long live Spotify
You’re crap! I just haven’t gotten into Spotify. Adding your specific variety helps a lot
November 29th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
kelly brook nood is a treat.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
Hey remember Paolo and Nikki? Their deaths were the silliest, yet it had to be done.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
Oooooooh.
Hey! My video disappeared. Bring it back, that’s an order.
I wonder if people already in the club say “uh oh, here SHE comes again” when Lohan walks in. “Can’t have nothin’ nice. She’s always comin’ around, messin’ up stuff”.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:12 AM
that’s it. thanks, CJ.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:12 AM
I succumbed to the push present after all the shit she went through with complications. Went with a Coach purse. She cried. I win.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
Not even “Lodi”?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:14 AM
The push present thread was the whitest one in the history of TBL.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:14 AM
Hey remember Paolo and Nikki? Their deaths were the silliest, yet it had to be done.
yeah, but they were intentionally bad comic relief, and I’m pretty sure ABC gave an order to give that girl a push, because she was one of theirs.
But if you’re making a worst characters list, you have to start with long lived characters. First the australian girl, then Kate,
But if you’re doing one offs, no character was worse than Bai Ling, mystical slut/tattooer
November 29th, 2012 at 9:14 AM
Went with a Coach purse. She cried. I win.
I went with a red door spa gift card.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:14 AM
Heard this on Free Beer & Hotwings radio show this morning on my way into work, but first I’d seen the video. Wow. She’s seems like a classy gal too, especially with the tribal lower-back tatoo. Might as well be a bullseye
/Vince Vaughn’d
November 29th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
Hey remember Paolo and Nikki
They were an abomination.
J-Mac, give me a press pass to cover the meetings as well. I’ll need a name-tag that signifies I’m unpaid though.
/kidding
//sort of
November 29th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
i dont get the whole push present concept…didnt you already shoot a present into her belly?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
I’m really not expecting a push present. I even told him not to get me a birthday present. I’m really freaking out how much this kid/daycare is gonna cost us.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
that’s cool and all, and no disrespect to you or your wife at all, but if you called it a push present, you’re kind of a pussy.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
All the women on Lost were terrible except Juliet. The end. OR IS IT??
/season 6 was one of the biggest disappointments in TV history
November 29th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Claire was so damn annoying.
THEY TOOK MY BAAAYYYYYYBEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
November 29th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
The push present thread was the whitest one in the history of TBL.
We have a birth class and are one of the few white couples there. Of course this topic came up.
Hispanic dude who was always silent during the class turns to his wife and goes ¿Qué pasa?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
With 2012 coming to a close shortly, Lohan has to be the odds on favorite to top everybody’s 2013 celebrity death pool right?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
are comments getting eaten, or did I get banned again?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
on the flip side, if you don’t pound your open hand on the roof on your car ‘Big Lebowski’ style when “Looking our my Backdoor” comes on, you kind of suck.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
I didn’t totally emasculate myself and termed it a “get well soon” gift.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
THEY TOOK MY BAAAYYYYYYBEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! >>>>>> WAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTT
November 29th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
no doubt…and i hate ac/dc, but the opening part of thunderstruck still gets me pumped up. and dirty deeds is a fucking awesome song.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:19 AM
I succumbed to the push present after all the shit she went through with complications. Went with a Coach purse. She cried. I win.
i went the purse route as well. good call.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
there’s some keyword I’m hitting that’s doing that comment eating as if I were actually typing s0c1al1st
November 29th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
Also if my husband spent more than $30 for a purse for me, I would cry also. Out of sadness.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
that’s cool and all, and no disrespect to you or your wife at all, but if you called it a push present, you’re kind of a pussy.
then what should he have called it, oh bastion of manliness?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
That ass picture you posted Spencer is how every homely chick thinks she looks in tights or yoga pants.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
I’ve only watched season one of 24 so I don’t know if she was less annoying after that, but Kiefer Sutherland’s wife and daughter were so damn annoying.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
What does day care cost in your area? Have you looked into it?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:21 AM
Would a burlap sack from Whole Foods suffice?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:21 AM
preslenta?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
The shot of him jacknifing into the dumpster is one of my favorite things ever.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
The one my wife picked out is $300/wk. But they claim the kid will learn baby sign, three languages, differential calculus, and how to levitate objects using his mind.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
What does day care cost in your area? Have you looked into it?
we have our kid in one. its a racket, and shocked me how much they are.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
Well, the season 1 finale took care of the wife problem. Season 2 had Kim being stalked by a cougar, one of the most ridiculous plot lines of any dramatic season in TV history, but she became less annoying (and hotter) over the next couple of years.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
mint- is your kid going to one in our area?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Yup, didn’t even know about that until a friend of a friend (some white guy) mentioned it to us at a get together.
Got her a Tiffany necklace and a charm of our son’s first initial.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
That works out to twelve thousand more dollars a year than what I paid for tuition in college.
/TEAM MIRENA!
November 29th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
The one my wife picked out is $300/wk. But they claim the kid will learn baby sign, three languages, differential calculus, and how to levitate objects using his mind.
This is why I am going to start working from home. She is going to learn about Reddit, Fantasy Baseball, and picking out cool lunch places.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
Down with Clear Channel!
November 29th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
.
Purses are the only things I don’t mind him getting extravagent on. I am pretty much cost effiecient on everything else.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
My wife and I seriously explored opening a daycare business. We know what our friends pay for daycare, see how long the waiting lists are, and figured we’d basically print money. Turns out the licensing, overhead and time commitment eat the margins down to almost nothing. You have to open five or six to really make it worthwhile.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
Yeah, the Primrose at Davis/Continental.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Oh the cougar….that was so damn bad. Thankfully they took Kim mainly out of the picture by Season 4 and just had her come back for on and off episodes after that.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Maybe your wife should pawn her Coach purse to help pay for the daycare then huh.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Does no one else take their kids to an licensed in-home day care? Half of what one of those centers cost.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:27 AM
First the australian girl, then Kate,
But if you’re doing one offs, no character was worse than Bai Ling, mystical slut/tattooer
The Bai Ling thing was a disaster, but it was a quick disaster. Kate was the worst.
I was just going to say Lilly hasn’t done anything since Lost, but I just saw she will feature prominently in the second Hobbit movie.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:27 AM
Mine is costing $170 a week. Thinking about switching to one down the street that costs about $50 more, but have only checked out their website so far.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Yeah, we’ve visited 3 places. Of course the cheapest place in our area has no openings. We’re looking at around 250-280 per week. Had no idea that all day cares are basically schools now. They have curriculum and everything, I just want you to watch my kid damn it, can you take $100 off the price?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
We had our kid in a Goddard school for daycare/preschool. When he moved onto to the local public school system, it was like getting a raise.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
Does no one else take their kids to an licensed in-home day care? Half of what one of those centers cost.
We did. And loved it. Smaller group of kids. Fewer germs and consistent staff.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
Eric Godard?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
I would definitely hire Eric Godard to teach my kid to skate poorly or to become a bar bouncer.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
Does no one else take their kids to an licensed in-home day care? Half of what one of those centers cost.
right here. started out at a bigger center until we could get off of a wait list for an in-home place. went from $250/wk for three days to $175/wk for five days. looking forward to the rate drop when she gets out of diapers too.
definitely need to factor in whether they cover food/diapers/etc. or if you provide.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
This is why you’re the best, Stephen. The best!
November 29th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
I had no idea that day care centers cost that much. Another reason not to have kids. Maybe all you guys should move closer to your parents and use them as babysitters.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
I guard my own children at home, for free. Although I do have an expense account.
And I’ve been slowly going insane.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
ours costs more annually than tuition, books, food, and a dorm room at Tennessee. to make myself feel better, I don’t call it daycare, I call it private school.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
Yep. All we had to do was provide diapers. Ours is on the state food plan, so meals are covered. Fewer sick kids, and the owners kids now babysit for us. All around win
November 29th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
Reallllly hoping my in laws retire sometime in the next few years and offer this.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
Miz, your thoughts?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
Not all Grandparents want or can do this job.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
Your child is ruining America.
-mikenyc
November 29th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
Most of these daycares could probably beat Tennessee in football.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
I knew daycare was expensive but holy crap! How does anyone afford 2 kids going at the same time?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
the curriculum is shuck bullshit. we get a report paper every day that tells us the skills our daughter worked one.
“Today, Catherine worked on her fine motor skills!”
translation, she picks up Cheerios and feeds them to herself.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
That is why it is so great when they get old enough to stay home by themselves. No daycare and no summer camp.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Daycare is absurd. It’s the single biggest reason my wife and I don’t have kids yet. Around here we’re looking at $800/month just for daycare. That’s less than $100 away from my mortgage after the re-fi. Incredibly hard to justify that expense.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Mole is on a roll.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
When my 4 yr old starts school next year, we will be getting a 20k a year cash family raise over 2 years ago when we had 2 kids in pre-school. And that is at the university child development center. Expensive little bastards.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Not all Grandparents want or can do this job.
Exactly, my Mom can’t lift more than 8 lbs because of her back.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
great idea!
/shoots self
November 29th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
How does anyone afford 2 kids going at the same time?
guy I work with has twin 4 year olds and is already counting the days until they hit public school. It will be like getting a $15K raise
November 29th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Godzilla biscuits taking their toll I presume? Pics?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
The cost does go down as the kid gets older, but if we have a 2nd one in the next couple of years, I am definitely quitting my job.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
Even where I live, unlicensed day care is like 150 a week.
My housekeeper has her kid in daycare locally, as she gets it subsidized by MikeNYC’s tax dollars. She pays only 26 per week. She just recently had to move the girl because the daycare was so shitty. But she pays 26 wherever she goes.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
More like Aaron Crap. What the fuck was that shit. OSU should have put away Duke early. They blew it.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
Yeah, the Primrose at Davis/Continental.
our kid is at the primrose on kimball. could not be happier. they cook breakfast every morning, its clean, and the teachers are very into the kids.
it beats the old POS in highland park we used to go to by a mile.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
My wife earns too much money to be a stay-at-home mom.
Plus, she’s like a German Shepherd when she doesn’t have work. Tears up the house, shits in the floor, pesters me all day. She needs to be kept busy with a job.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
before the Kentucky game, Tennessee invited the Gardner School infant class to scrimmage. my 10 month old daughter rushed for 20 yards on two carries and blew up some poor DB. she would have rushed for more but they had to take her out because she kept eating the grass.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
Godzilla biscuits taking their toll I presume? Pics?
My Mom is medicare age Mole, didn’t think that was your type.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
That’s owned by the same couple. Really liked the owner when we met her.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
and the teachers are very into the kids.
that sounds bad, not good.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
Sometimes it’s better to go to one salry and have a stay home parent.
/shoulda done that when my twins were born.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
Right when I saw the clip I was giddy for you, Spence. She’s been on your Mount Rushmore for years.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
mount buttmore.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
My Mom is medicare age Mole, didn’t think that was your type.
i wouldn’t trust my wife’s parents to watch our littler one for even an evening, as he is a perpetual mayhem machine.
I wouldn’t trust my own mother to be alone in my house with bottles-o-booze.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
Enough with the daycare talk.
/team dogs
November 29th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
Same here.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
I feel like this should become a meme.
/nods at Hef’s obnoxious kids
November 29th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
did Biel make the monument?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
OSU should have put away Duke early. They blew it.
Their defense in the first half was stout.
that sounds sad, not good
Fixed.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
I’m pretty fed up with ours…acutally looked into transferring into Primrose here. they basically market themselves as the exact same place (curriculum! baby yoga!), but our current place can’t seem to not give my daughter diaper rash.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:45 AM
I’m pleased as punch today, because my bigger kid gets to go to school for an extra half hour at the town school, for testing.
So I get rid of his ass at 11.30 instead of 12.10. I like him better when I can catch a small break from him.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:45 AM
J-Mac knows a guy who graduated from Harvard and is a lawyer and also this other dude who works on Wall Street who have wives that are stay at home moms, and doesnt know what you people are complaining about.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
I guard my own children at home, for free. Although I do have an expense account.
And I’ve been slowly going insane. Dirt
I couldn’t do it. I stayed home for seven weeks six weeks after my kid was born and it I went insane. I did watch a lot of VH1 Classic. Daytime tv is horrible.
Wait, you have a housekeeper?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
Curious if you guys would put the “we will never have kids” clause in your contract before marrying someone. I think I’m going to get my tubes tied if I ever decide to marry. I really don’t want to have kids. It’s just not worth it. They ruin a good 18-20 years of your life. Every decision you make, you have to put their needs before yours. I just don’t think I can do it.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
If you’re shooting it in her belly, you’re doing it wrong.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
Brilliant idea…drive-in sex boxes!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/switzerland/9708726/Zurich-to-open-drive-in-sex-boxes.html
November 29th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
I guess one of the perks of moving to a rural area has been the babysitting costs. $3 an hour for a family friend who watches three other kids in the same age range. Couldn’t believe it.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
Going insane?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
if i hadnt lost all my old bookmarks, id throw em up…biel’s ass gif might be on there tho. not definite but under consideration.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
You already have like 12 videos queued up on youporn don’t you?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:49 AM
If you’re shooting it in her belly, you’re doing it wrong.
What? All the instructional videos show the belly and face as the proper technique.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:49 AM
I spent ten minutes scratching my dog’s stomach and playing with him before work. He likes to destroy stuffed animals so I took his teddy bear and made it into a hand puppet and was fucking with him. Good times.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:49 AM
The Bennetts are not as apple-pie sweet as they seem, Rollo. Be wary.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:49 AM
Wait, you have a housekeeper?
I didn’t move to the middle of nowhere to be poor. She’s ugly though.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:49 AM
Maybe all you guys should move closer to your parents and use them as babysitters.
If the parents aren’t already close, that is going to be practically impossible for 95% of new parents.
Also, for the one or two times a week you wish you had a free baby sitter (your parents or in-laws) doesn’t make up for the seven times a week you don’t want your parents or in-laws living close to you.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
For those of you who either use the Kindle app or have a Kindle and enjoy American history non-fiction, I can’t recommend enough the Kindle single Lincoln’s Little Girl. It’s really good.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
I hate people.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:51 AM
You already have like 12 videos queued up on youporn don’t you?
I have the other one that’ll be up and needing shit the entire time the big one is gone. With 2 kids, you can never, ever shake them both.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:51 AM
We pay $250/week for an in-home daycare. All 3 kids went through it – my youngest is starting kindergarden next fall – I’m pretty excited to not be paying that anymore – one at a time is not bad, but we had 2 there for 3 years and change – that sucks.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:51 AM
He has a housekeeper but he also has working toilet in the middle of his living room. I’m talking a toilet not surrounded by four walls.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:51 AM
That’s owned by the same couple. Really liked the owner when we met her.
yep, they are very nice. just an awesome experience so far.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:52 AM
I’m now picturing Dickie Bennett saying, “Now just hold on now!” as he tries to finish braiding Rollo’s kid’s hair.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:52 AM
wait…youre a chick?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:52 AM
Paid about $1400/month for 2 kids in daycare for about 4 years. Not cheap at all.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
biel’s ass gif might be on there tho. not definite but under consideration.
please, please post this. she is in my top 3.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
$800/month is a steal, especially for a infant. Those fuckers really cost $$$.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
kids aren’t for everyone. I can’t imagine not having my daughter…like, it seems wierd that there was a long period of time that we didn’t have her. and, frankly, you’re doing us a favor by not breeding since you seem like a total selfish dickface and your kids would likely pick up that trait.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
this is pretty late Cracker Jack but my wife and I found our babysitter on a website called care.com. You can put job postings up and require CPR certifications and if I remember correctly they have to pass through a background check too.
I was a little hesitant about it at first but the people we met were typically stay at home moms who watched just a handful of kids at any given time. Our two year old loves it over there and it is extremely affordable.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
hyah.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
Cleet! You were in my dream last night. It was… disturbing.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
Wait, is Der Kaiser a chick?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
They ruin a good 18-20 years of your life. Every decision you make, you have to put their needs before yours. I just don’t think I can do it.
Debbie Der Downer
November 29th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
thumbs up to every word of this.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
My dogs destroy stuffed toys as well. I have to buy the toys with no stuffing.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
He has a housekeeper but he also has working toilet in the middle of his living room. I’m talking a toilet not surrounded by four walls.
that’s my laundry room. We have plans to get that “fixed” this winter, although another job came up and already ate the money. So we have to decide whether doing that conversion is worth it yet.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
Is your wife one of those country lawyers negotiating fracking rights?
/might be moving to the middle of nowhere
November 29th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
I really don’t want to have kids. It’s just not worth it. They ruin a good 18-20 years of your life. Every decision you make, you have to put their needs before yours. I just don’t think I can do it. Der
If you don’t think you want to have kids, then don’t. There are enough shitty kids as a result of parents that weren’t sure if they wanted kids. We don’t need anymore.
However, saying they ruin 18 – 20 years of your life is a misstatement. Your priorities change.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
So Der Kaiser is Eva Braun not Goebbles.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
Der Kaiser = Die Kaiserin?
/3 years of public school German finally pays off.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
Different strokes for different folks, I guess. However, kids don’t ruin your life. I can’t imagine not having my brood. My oldest just turned 10 and I’m already bummed about the idea of him going to college in 8 years. It’s exhausting, but beyond awesome.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
hausfrau kaiser.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
this was so well stated I just wanted to copy-and-paste it back in.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
You have a tv in your laundry room?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
and not really sure der kaiser being a chick really makes a damn difference, i just probably wouldve been less of an asshole lol.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
You have a tv in your laundry room
you seem to be quite confused about what you saw.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
I didn’t move to the middle of nowhere to be poor. She’s ugly though.
Didn’t stop Schwarzenegger.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
November 29th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
It’s the only thing he destroys. Doesn’t fuck with furniture or clothes or shoes, and one toy will last him over a year (he usually has about six throughout the house though). Just rips all the stuffing out and then spends time ripping each seam out. Very disturbing to watch, especially when I have to cut the eyes out so he doesn’t choke on them, but it keeps him happy when he’s laying around.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
Or Costanza.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
Jesus, I was talking about vasectomy. Not tubes tied. My bad.
Wow, that’s a horrible mistake.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
hyah.
god, thank you. my mouth is watering.
she gets topless in some movie. cant recall the name.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:59 AM
Apparently so but would you rather I have those videos I saw memorized? At least I remember there being a toilet in the middle of the room.
November 29th, 2012 at 9:59 AM
So BSB was involved?
November 29th, 2012 at 9:59 AM
Or frankly just shouldn’t have had them at all because they suck as parents and people in general.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
It’s never going away now, Haus Frau.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
why am i imagining dirt in his laundry room looking like osama watching himself on TV?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
I am seriously considering take the rest of the day off now just thinking of the negative possibilities. I may also have to investigate whether or not the babysitter’s husband could be on the next season of Moonshiners.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
Unfortunate. Here’s your Meme!
/Jeff Memeworthy’d
November 29th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
ze deferens…zey do nothing!!!
November 29th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
I knew daycare was expensive but holy crap! How does anyone afford 2 kids going at the same time?
Fortunately I live my a K-3 that gets an Excellent rating in OH. So my kids will transition to there from the daycare/school they are at now. Mine has been about a $800-1000 month but my oldest is reading fine at age 4. Wonderful investment. And he’s not some home-schooled weirdo. But the plan is to transition those
2nd mortgage paymentsdaycare costs right to the house and be done with the mortgage in a few years.November 29th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
It’s ütërüs, not üterÿöü.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
Jesus, I was talking about vasectomy. Not tubes tied. My bad.
Der has a uterus.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:01 AM
lol
November 29th, 2012 at 10:01 AM
And there goes spence’s hatefuck fantasy….
November 29th, 2012 at 10:01 AM
Most of you here need to get new in-laws…mine are awesome.
My mother is our nanny (retired school teacher)…I bathe in money.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:01 AM
V-shaped back…muscular shoulders…are you sure thats Jessica and not some skank A-Rod is dating?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:01 AM
No… just your bachelor party, and sodomy.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Go ahead. Make every joke you guys can. That was just horrible. I deserve it all.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
My cat prefers to flip her toys up in the air, and when she is feeling particularly evil she will throw one of her mice in her water bowl and drown it. Because of this we have to keep the toilet lid closed at all times because I accidentally flushed one of her mice.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Apparently so but would you rather I have those videos I saw memorized? At least I remember there being a toilet in the middle of the room.
It’s a horribly conceived room, there’s really no doubt about it. It’s currently the most infuriating portion of my infuriating money pit of a house.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
I would think bathing in money would make pissing in the shower kind of difficult and could create a mold problem.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Don’t we all? The laundry room is my man cave. TV, computer, Spinning cycle, poker table all in one. Ah, can’t forget my daughter’s guinea pigs.
/damn those things smell after awhile.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
na…that’ll always be angelina jolie.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
I’ve just given up on toys. One of my dogs will destroy it in seconds. The ones that are suppossed to be indestructible, may last a 1/2 hr and I’m out $20.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
They only became obnoxious because we loved them enough to have my wife stay home with them. Day care is for suckers and poor people.
/high fives Mike NYC
November 29th, 2012 at 10:03 AM
Sounds exactly like my full-sized aussie. That’s exactly what he does. He won’t eat the stuffing, he just pulls it out. My mini-aussie on the other hand will eat it the stuffing. He’s an idiot.
Also, to bring this full circle, I took my dogs to “doggy day care” today.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:03 AM
My biggest concern about kids is time. I work 50-60 hours a week right now. My wife is on a similar schedule. That doesn’t leave us much time for daily to-dos let alone fun activities. I just don’t know inserting a child into that equation will play out. I imagine it’s just like anything else — a shock to the system at first followed by gradual adjustments to the norm.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:03 AM
Der Kaiser is Der Transgendered?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:03 AM
Der Kaiser, I think if you are looking for a dude to settle down with, one without those pressures, you should find a doctor who is late in the educational process. The idea of you getting knocked up, right as he’s finally hitting the lucrative job search, will be enough to dissuade his need to teach your child to play catch.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:04 AM
They ruin a good 18-20 years of your life.
Best thing I heard was to be family-centric not kids-centric. Can’t revolve exclusively around the kids. We don’t have family to abuse for babysitters, but you have to budget in some babysitting costs so you can go out on dates, keep golfing on occsaion, have your wife get out of the house and shop, whatever. Otherwise your kids will absolutely have a warped worldview. The friends I have who are struggling with kids don’t ever go on dates, get out, etc.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:04 AM
I just cant get past that current bowl cut she has. Is she fashion-forward? Cause that things she calls a hairdo sucks left-hind teat.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:04 AM
I am seriously considering take the rest of the day off now just thinking of the negative possibilities.
do you ever regret not telling your wife about your sister in law at the very first opportunity, and the finding out she already knew, so you could have spent all those evenings being lewd right back to your sister in law from a position of power?
Because you should.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:05 AM
sigh
Man, that was horrible. No coming back from that.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:05 AM
Oh, OK. Another “mistake” by the Germans. Right.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:05 AM
This wins the Internet this morning. We’ll that and …
This. Perfectly said.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
Oh…..that is disturbing. Was I at least the sodimizer and not the sodomizee? Better yet, was I just a bystander?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
Poor Cooper. He knows you hate him, doesn’t he?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
You can’t figure that out? Do you even internet, bro?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
Man, that was horrible. No coming back from that
Atleast you aren’t pretending it didn’t happen or it was a huge misunderstanding.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
Also, to bring this full circle, I took my dogs to “doggy day care” today.
talk about a racket. How much are you paying a day? And what are you getting in return?
/i already know the answers
/30+ bucks and a dog that smells like a kennel who spent the day in a prison yard
November 29th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
“Whoa, whoa, whoa WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?? I said don’t invade Russia in the winter! Whatever, it’s fine. It’s fiiiiiiine. We’ll make up for it. Begin construction of the Atlantic Wall. And make sure I have full military command.”
November 29th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
Holy Shit!! How long has she been back, and did she get medicine for the Tourette Syndrome? I’m guessing I didn’t notice she was back because of the lack of hateful and venomous cursing.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
Sorry, you were the sodomizee. Lucky for me I didnt witness the act, just heard about it.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:08 AM
Maybe Der Fallopian Kaiser is secretly Heidi Klum.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:08 AM
Paolo would have called Der Kaiser a lesbian by now.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:08 AM
WHAT????? I love both of my dogs. Shut your whore mouth.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Ahhhh, yes. We refer to that as the ms621 Pinterest Defense.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Totally uncool way to accept fault and thus partially mitigating your meme
/heist movie
Mike Woodson – coach of the year candidate
v-shaped back
Signed Todd Charske
Yolanda 40
Duckworth’d
Dumpster Fire
No one Denies This
thick
yahoo finance
Coop’d
Billy Wagner
Calipers
Hakeem Nicks
sexy ambulance
Spencer loves Creed
Brief, Tense
November 29th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Atleast you aren’t pretending it didn’t happen or it was a huge misunderstanding.
speaking of, the one I remember being the funniest was once when JMac did a Patriots hate post and mentioned Justin Edelman, and some lurker went apoplectic in a comment about how stupid he was to have messed up the name of JULIUS Edelman (and he put it in caps like that). Then, upon being laughed at by everybody else, he claimed he was doing an homage to the stupidity, and disappeared forever back into lurkerville.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Did anyone else have one of those rankings of chicks amongst their friends in high school where you had to pick one? I was pretty savvy about it. Traded around, ended up with a relatively unknown girl from Atlanta – Der Kaiser – in the 3rd round.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
My brother-in-law’s fiance is the manager at the place I go to. So I don’t really pay anything. She puts free hours on my account. It’s fucking awesome. But, they are a little smelly when they come home.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
Wow. What the hell did you eat before bed last night?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
Hearsay is not admissible! Seriously, my appearence in your dream arc started so innocently with SBTB and now this.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
Heist movie is the one that keeps on giving. Love that.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:11 AM
What about me?
/Bernard Berrien, bitch snitch
November 29th, 2012 at 10:11 AM
You take Flacco in the third round, too?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
You forgot Not confirmed by me!!
November 29th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
November 29th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
Nobody answered this?
Powder Blue
November 29th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
Isn’t “no one denies this” from KSK?
Also I feel that “well researched post” should become one in light of the dumpster fire that was the Jets GM post.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
So if I was to create a website that ships Twinkies from Canada to America is that something you globular insulin-mainlining slags would be in to?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
Seems like a lot of TBL Meme Wiki to have without wrapping it in a big /jmorris tag.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
But, they are a little smelly when they come home.
we had to kennel our two remaining dogs for the first time ever last month, because my old housesitter got a vicious dog, and my housekeeper also has a vicious dog, so I didn’t have anybody to housesit.
I paid more for the kennelling than I would have to let somebody live here for a week. And I had to get somebody to come feed the F-ing cats anyway.
But when we got the dogs home, they just reeked of piss and dog fear. But they were alive.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
/fixed.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
Others:
Sad
Detective J-Mac
Good get
Someone to root for
November 29th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
Probably. Speaking of, my parents were babysitting at our house three weeks or so ago and when I pulled into the driveway, the SIL’s car was parked there. She wasn’t even told of our new address and showed up only when she knew we were gone. Shit just gets weirder and weirder with her.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
Pregnancy dreams. They are fucking twisted.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Not really. (we’re just a bunch of drama queens down here.)
November 29th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Weak Gear
Is everything alright at home?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
This.
/fixed
//made more corrector
November 29th, 2012 at 10:15 AM
That’s a pretty iconic list you got going there.
/sincere
November 29th, 2012 at 10:15 AM
And what do you do?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:16 AM
Well don’t feel too bad. Cleet probably deserved the sodomizing.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:16 AM
so…got any dick pics?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:16 AM
That kind of sucks. But I’m kind of lucky in this regard as well. My bro-in-law and his fiance watch my dogs when I leave town for a few days. I just take them out to dinner and it’s all good. They love dogs. I’m lucky, I guess.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:16 AM
+ One expansion pack or whatever for that nerd game you wank to
November 29th, 2012 at 10:17 AM
Guys I had to whittle that down for brevity. That was not off the official FAQ page. All of your worst mistakes are on record, probably on the master sheet. I’ll forward those omissions over to the guys in IT if you send me an email.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:17 AM
You have reached your limit of 10 free articles for the New York Times Time to clear the cookies.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:17 AM
agreed.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:17 AM
I feel like most commenters weren’t around for the BEST meme ever. You know, that lefty QB, Matt Sanchez.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:18 AM
nobody remembers this one but me, but there was a whole week when JMac used street jargon to describe his new kind of Jelly.
He had needed a new kind of jelly for his toast or bagel, because cream cheese was played out. And somebody told him about a kind of jelly they sell at the store (Polaner) and he got it, and then went nuts about it for a week, saying those half black things he always says, and trying to find and aggressively shake the hand of whoever it was that recommended to him going to the store and buying jelly.
On a related note, I lose my wedding ring twice a week, because shit like that is clogging my brain.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:18 AM
Hey Der Kaiser are you thick?
/But it was too late
November 29th, 2012 at 10:18 AM
Isn’t “no one denies this” from KSK?
It is Magary imitating Simmons/Tommy from Quinzee.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:18 AM
You can’t figure that out? Do you even internet, bro?
cant do it at work, bro.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:19 AM
Relative unknown 3rd round pick Joe Flacco was pretty funny last night
November 29th, 2012 at 10:19 AM
oh…i remember that one fondly. pantheon.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:20 AM
That was the worst post of all time. I feel like it was a parody post. No way that could be serious.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:20 AM
/clueless rube
November 29th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
Relative unknown 3rd round pick Joe Flacco was pretty funny last night
You know how when most blogs strikethough an error and leave it and then add whatever is correct? This blog doesn’t do that.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
Thank god for screenshots.
/nods at Mississippi KKK assassination thread
November 29th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
Too many memes to keep track of.
/teabagging, who hasn’t done that?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Kris Humphries can eat a bag of dicks. That’s all I can muster up right now after a two hour meeting where my eyes are bleeding now.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:24 AM
/facepalm
ill paypal you a dollar so you can buy a clue is an all-timer too.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:24 AM
That usually also involves calling someone a clown, bro.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:25 AM
Relative unknown 3rd round pick Joe Flacco was pretty funny last night
That was just a tremendous fuckup that could have been corrected by clicking onto a place you already have bookmarked and typing 9 letters.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:26 AM
That was the worst post of all time.
the worst post of all time (and by that I mean the absolute greatest) was the immutable Rose Bowl post that went up on a Saturday, and four people took potshots at for half a day before it got corrected by the duffmeister.
Immutable.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:27 AM
pre-coop, “/hef” was a pretty popular meme.
also, my favorite: “/long, lame, & unfunny”
November 29th, 2012 at 10:28 AM
The only ones I hadn’t updated were Sad, Der Kaiser’s newfound femaleness and MS621 being a Pinterest maven.
Hef, I honestly can’t remember the Hef’d one. That was possible from the terrible months when this site was obstructed on my work platform.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:29 AM
the worst post of all time (and by that I mean the absolute greatest) was the immutable Rose Bowl post that went up on a Saturday, and four people took potshots at for half a day before it got corrected by the duffmeister.
Immutable.
Was that the “how can the Rose Bowl not be played on Jan 1st?” post when it was immediately shown that the Rose Bowl has not be played on the Jan 1st several times?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:29 AM
It had a lot to do with everyone’s jealousy of my overt masculinity due to my ability to sire 3 sons when all you other homos were making girl children like a bunch of homos.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:29 AM
The fuck?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:31 AM
Don’t leave off all the Huffy Puffy Duffy-isms.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:31 AM
ms621′s meme is pms621.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:31 AM
/redacted due to revisionist history
November 29th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
/Hyena’d is a good one.
Also, who was the jagg off guy, /yelnick?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:33 AM
That’s true based on 1HappyThought’s Guide to Internet Jokes and General Hilarity vol. 5
November 29th, 2012 at 10:34 AM
This one is underutilized, and awesome
November 29th, 2012 at 10:34 AM
Yelnik was more of a jmorris of old school methods to procure jagoff material
November 29th, 2012 at 10:36 AM
What about Sparty Justice?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:36 AM
Was that the “how can the Rose Bowl not be played on Jan 1st?” post when it was immediately shown that the Rose Bowl has not be played on the Jan 1st several times?
that’s the one. You were there. And after about five minutes, all 4 potshotters realized that the rose bowl had never once been played on a sunday.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:38 AM
We’ll break the full lists out for a day around the holidays when things are terribly slow.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:38 AM
link to duffy rose bowl post?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:39 AM
It is pretty new though, a fledgling meme struggling to survive in the wild.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:40 AM
what was hyena’d
November 29th, 2012 at 10:40 AM
what was hyena’d
November 29th, 2012 at 10:40 AM
You forgot Not confirmed by me!!
One of my favorites, not used anymore. Sad is an all-timer. Would love to see a spreadsheet to catch up on few I don’t recognize. Also mamalickyobooty’s “This isn’t funny, you’re not funny” didn’t catch on like I had hoped
November 29th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
Does anyone have a screenshot of the fake email comment miz sent out that got him put in timeout? That was epic.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
I still don’t get Yahoo finance.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
no mention of Godzilla Biscuits in the list?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
“dreaded vote of confidence” was a recent update as well.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:43 AM
link to duffy rose bowl post?
he updated it by taking it down and posting a rewritten one. I’m sure the comments are gone now.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:43 AM
Isn’t that from soccer?
November 29th, 2012 at 10:44 AM
Somebody asked if there was a way to view the history of stock performance. Five or six people responded with Yahoo Finance. Meme created.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:45 AM
check that, here’s the link. But the post itself was changed completely
http://www.thebiglead.com/index.php/2011/06/19/even-the-rose-bowl-bows-for-king-nfl/
November 29th, 2012 at 10:45 AM
Hernia’d has bypassed me. I assume it has nothing to do with hair or slacks that I am associating with it
November 29th, 2012 at 10:50 AM
How are we missing the one commenter who wanted to find out about hookers in Miami?
Also ddmcd and his homophobia/mis-spellings deserve to be on the meme list.
Go on….
Bewbsexx
November 29th, 2012 at 10:50 AM
As hef alluded to, /Hernia’d started out being any reference to Seinfeld. And the guy mistakenly put /Hyena’d.
/Hernia’d also turned into a variant of /this because Tim had a rant against putting /this or /this’d in comments. So it became a thing to put /Hernia’d or /TSH/ or /El hernia de deportes
November 29th, 2012 at 10:50 AM
what was hyena’d
/Hyena’d
//Draw your on conclusions
November 29th, 2012 at 10:53 AM
/jmorris’d
November 29th, 2012 at 10:56 AM
All right, these people are here on this site, and you know who you are.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:57 AM
The Rose Bowl post wasn’t promised to be well researched and thought out.
November 29th, 2012 at 10:57 AM
damn edited rose bowl post…
November 29th, 2012 at 11:09 AM
I’ve learned so much today
November 29th, 2012 at 11:23 AM
I’d have laid 1:10 odds that the sex fight story was from Florida. I can’t believe people still have positive perceptions of that weird shithole. Sort of the East Coast California, in that outsiders have a drastically different perception of it than reality.
November 29th, 2012 at 11:31 AM
What about /GrapeApe’d?
There needs to be a page on TBL with all these memes.
November 29th, 2012 at 11:44 AM
I’m kind of disappointed that me having a pinterest page has supplanted me being black as a meme.
/kicks rock
November 29th, 2012 at 11:46 AM
oh shit totally forgot you were black, bro.
November 29th, 2012 at 11:47 AM
You get through all those links yet spencer?
November 29th, 2012 at 11:47 AM
FUCK no…had to read the related articles and shit about em too, ya know? im still on fulda gap.
November 29th, 2012 at 11:48 AM
Ha, there’s always associated things to click on…those things take over my day.
November 29th, 2012 at 11:48 AM
wiki wormholes are the best/worst.
November 29th, 2012 at 11:49 AM
totally shouldve bought blind man’s bluff in a store instead of amazon…fucking shipping times.
/hate kindles
November 29th, 2012 at 11:52 AM
Here’s a few….
http://www.thebiglead.com/index.php/2012/05/30/brian-banks-has-a-workout-scheduled-with-the-seattle-seahawks/#comments
November 29th, 2012 at 11:58 AM
/hate kindles
Agreed.
/team real books
November 29th, 2012 at 11:58 AM
You’re going to love Blind Man’s Bluff. If I think of some other titles I’ll send them your way.
November 29th, 2012 at 11:59 AM
please do…ive been needing shit to read lately.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:01 PM
please do…ive been needing shit to read lately
I’ll come clean. Started Les Miserables last week. I’ve never read anything with such vocabulary and spelled out thoughts of characters. Tough but good so far
November 29th, 2012 at 12:02 PM
ive never FINISHED something like that, but ive tried reading proust…that’s a fucking chore, lemme tell you whut.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:03 PM
If you want a good memoir by a Marine pilot in World War II, I suggest Flights of Passage by Samuel Hynes. He was an Avenger pilot in the last year and a half of the war in the Pacific. It’s also the book where I heard a vagina euphemism that I’m yet to hear elsewhere: the Mossy Donut.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:05 PM
The first volume of William Manchester’s biography of Winston Churchill is fantastic as well. It’s long, somewhere around 800 or 900 pages, but reads very quickly. Lots of great stories and anecdotes. Manchester died a few years ago before he could finish the third and final volume, so another writer picked up his work where Manchester left off and just published it.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:07 PM
PeerLess, try The Red and the Black. GReat and funny read.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:08 PM
You’re one those creepy kids way into war right?
The Naked And The Dead – Norman Mailer
The Debacle – Emile Zola
Just cause:
Tortilla Flat – Steinbeck
/assumed you read For Whom The Bell Tolls
November 29th, 2012 at 12:09 PM
The Red and the Black. GReat and funny read
Will check it out. May be a while before I finish this though.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:10 PM
/assumed you read For Whom The Bell Tolls
The Sun Also Rises > For Whom the Bell Tolls
November 29th, 2012 at 12:10 PM
If you’re into war memoirs, William Manchester’s Goodbye Darkness, about his experiences in the Pacific in WWII, is phenomenal.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:13 PM
As is Eugene Sledge’s “With the Old Breed at Pelilieu and Okinawa”.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:14 PM
did no one really remember /coop’d?
November 29th, 2012 at 12:15 PM
The Sun Also Rises > For Whom the Bell Tolls
A Farewell To Arms. It isn’t even close.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:18 PM
Timn O’Brien’s books on Vietnam (If I Die In A Combat Zone, The Things They Carried) are very approachable (and good). Not non-fiction, but not fiction either.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:18 PM
A Farewell To Arms. It isn’t even close.
No argument here.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:20 PM
Read For Whom The Bell Tolls last and for me it was his best work.
For Whom The Bell Tolls > Farewell To Arms > Sun Also rises >…………
……………………. ………………………..Movable Feast
/Anything Zola, Zola is the GOAT
November 29th, 2012 at 12:24 PM
this is the last war book i read. pretty surrealistic and brutal
November 29th, 2012 at 12:24 PM
oops, forgot about the SEAL book I just finished. anyway
November 29th, 2012 at 12:31 PM
thanks for the rec’s yall…sent myself an email.
more into the concept of extremely, EXTREMELY high stakes, competition and total immersion in a deadly serious craft moreso than war itself. i kinda feel like wars are only started by assholes who aren’t doing the fighting.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:33 PM
You’re one those creepy kids way into war right?
I don’t see what’s creepy about wanting to study war as an expression of national politics, sociology, anthropology, economics and will. War and the reasons for war through all of the frames I mentioned above is fascinating.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:37 PM
Get a Jane’s reference book and use for toilet reading at home.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
More of a dig, lot of the greatest books written are on the subject, dunno sometimes when you guys are listing of fighter plane specs I picture you both typing with Ron Burgundy-esque erections.
/Not because of the pleats
//No Coop’d
November 29th, 2012 at 12:39 PM
War and conflict for all their destructive effects also have a way of bringing to the forefront human ingenuity and inventiveness. Radar was developed by British scientists as a means to have early warning of air raid on the British Isles from the Continent. Today it is used by the airline industry to safely guide flights filled with hundreds of people around the country and safely land them in all types of weather. The splitting of the atom by the Manhattan Project opened the nuclear ‘pandora’s box’ but it also provided a new way to power the ever expanding electrical grid; a way much cleaner than coal. There is the messy problem of where to store the waste by product but nuclear fission has also opened the door to the possibility of nuclear fusion which would have no waste at all and would virtually solve the world’s energy problems.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:39 PM
It’s probably not a small as you think, just looks foreshortened from your angle, maybe her vagina is too big?
November 29th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
More of a dig, lot of the greatest books written are on the subject, dunno sometimes when you guys are listing of fighter plane specs I picture you both typing with Ron Burgundy-esque erections.
Don’t act like you aren’t impressed.
November 29th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
It’s all right Canada, we’ll be there to protect you when China comes calling.
November 29th, 2012 at 1:06 PM
I worked through This Wheel’s On Fire by Levon Helm in a few days. He’s all sorts of awesome.
November 29th, 2012 at 1:08 PM
dude, im impressed as shit that human beings can create things like fighter planes and aircraft carriers and organize logistics like a continental invasion and shit. it’s really mindblowing stuff if you’re intrigued by what people are capable of.
also what ms621 said too. he just talks better’n me.
November 29th, 2012 at 1:12 PM
Spencer, to that end, ever head of Project Habbakkuk: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Habakkuk
November 29th, 2012 at 1:13 PM
China is going bankrupt as fuck and will most likely have to fight an uprising from the Xinjiang province, but you guys keep spending $2,100 per person fighting bogeyman as your country continues to become a plutocracy.
November 29th, 2012 at 1:14 PM
heard about it in passing in one of military channel’s “secret weapons of WWII” type things, but not the detail. it’s an interesting concept considering the brits had incredible success with wooden framed bombers.
November 29th, 2012 at 1:16 PM
it’s an interesting concept considering the brits had incredible success with wooden framed bombers.
The Mosquito. Great bomber.
November 29th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
I love it when you guys talk dirty to each other.
November 29th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
lol
November 29th, 2012 at 1:34 PM
I love it when you guys talk dirty to each other.
Don’t even bring up the Lancaster.