Tiki Barber Will Play on Your Flag Football (or Basketball or Kickball) Team For $1,950

All, Former Athletes, Kickball Jason McIntyre November 12th. 2012, 1:34pm

Tiki Barber, who three years ago was a budding TV analyst featured on NBC’s Sunday Night Football Pregame show, is now reportedly offering up his athletic services for $1,950. Need a Flag Football star for a night? Tiki’s your guy. Want to wow the opposing kickball team with a famous face? Tiki Barber can be had. (Where did they come up with $1,950? Maybe that’s 1/2 of what he owes his ex-wife in monthly child support?)

Note to marginal TV talents: Don’t cheat on your pregnant wife with a 20-something chick. [Urban Daddy Perks via Bill]

Previously: Here’s Audio of that Contentious Interview Between Mike Francesa and Tiki Barber
Previously: Tiki Barber’s Girlfriend is in Maxim
Previously: Tiki Barber dumps pregnant wife for former NBC Intern
Previously: Tiki Barber’s lavish gifts

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38 Responses to “Tiki Barber Will Play on Your Flag Football (or Basketball or Kickball) Team For $1,950”

1
squawkbox Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:45 PM
I’d ante up the $1950 to pay for him to be on the opposing team so we could embarrass him and take him out.
/Matt Holliday style slide in a kickball game sounds fun.
//Chop block in a flag football game?
///Drooling over a breakaway dunk attempt…
2
Jim Harbaugh Scramble Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:45 PM
budding TV analyst
budding is a bit of a reach. no one liked him.
3
sousedbergin Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:48 PM
Whomever bids should vow never to throw him the ball. Tiki can snap but after that he is a spectator. Don’t care when he is 50 yards open with the game on the line he does not touch the ball. Only way to make this worth the cost.
“You’re Getting Wasted At A Chinese Buffet With JaMarcus Russell” is much better value.
4
Jim Harbaugh Scramble Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:48 PM
he must be really hard up for dough. This is a Canseco level stoop.
5
José Pippen Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:49 PM
I feel terrible for Ronde that he has to share DNA with this guy.
/JK that DNA put him in the NFL.
6
José Pippen Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:50 PM
budding TV analyst
budding is a bit of a reach. no one liked him.
/Turns on ESPN
//Realizes ‘like’ has nothing to do with it
///Fuck Chris Berman
7
MancitysShabbySheik Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:51 PM
I’d pay $1,950 just so I could sit him down and read him his post NFL resume and watch him cry. The tears, they’re so salty!!!
8
Nada Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:53 PM
Someone should agree to Tiki’s fee, on the condition that he bring T.O. along for added laughs.
9
Nada Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
“You’re Getting Wasted At A Chinese Buffet With JaMarcus Russell” is much better value
If you’re at any kind of buffet with JaCarcass, do you even stand a chance of getting a crack at any of the food?
10
gfunk supreme Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Obligatory.
11
spencer096 Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
yall are retarded…id hire him and DOMINATE.
12
squawkbox Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:59 PM
id hire him and DOMINATE
For that one play until we take him out.
Then your team would be all “you guys are such cheap shots!”
And we’d be all like “You bunch of Tiki birds”
And you’d be all like “shut up!”
And we’d be all like “Ronde is sooo much better!”
And Tiki would cry.
13
sousedbergin Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 1:59 PM
If you’re at any kind of buffet with JaCarcass, do you even stand a chance of getting a crack at any of the food?
Would rather get drunk with JaMac than:
Jimmy Clausen
David Carr
Philip Rivers
Roethlisberger
Tebow
Colt Mccoy
Sam Bradford…
14
YYSA Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:00 PM
yall are retarded…id hire him and DOMINATE.
I’ve been teaching my squad to punch the ball. I still feel confident.
15
spencer096 Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:00 PM
For that one play until we take him out.
i would give you and your team of corpulent wastes-of-space a solid half of one percent chance of laying a hand on him.
16
Nada Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:06 PM
Would rather get drunk with JaMac than:
Come now, Colt McCoy seems like a nice enough guy.
Tebow would drink Perrier, so no.
Rapelisberger would round up some some drunken skanks for the guys, but then he’d assault them all himself.
JaCarcass would bogart all the Purple Drank, so hell no.
17
johndewar Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:07 PM
Where did they come up with $1,950? Maybe that’s 1/2 of what he owes his ex-wife in monthly child support?
Not to mention the alimony he must have to pay her.
How sad is it gonna be for Tiki when he can’t afford the upkeep on that young thing he is with?
18
José Pippen Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:08 PM
Would rather get drunk with JaMac than:
Jimmy Clausen
David Carr
Philip Rivers
Roethlisberger
Tebow
Colt Mccoy
Sam Bradford…
Add Cutler to that list.
19
spencer096 Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:10 PM
How sad is it gonna be for Tiki when he can’t afford the upkeep on that young thing he is with?
somewhere between when the pizza delivery guy forgets your 2-liter and 9/11, im guessing.
20
sousedbergin Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Add Cutler to that list.
Whole bunch of these assholes can’t/won’t drink
21
spencer096 Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:11 PM
QB i WOULD want to get drunk with? ken stabler.
22
sousedbergin Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:11 PM
Come now, Colt McCoy seems like a nice enough guy.
The only that goes in his mouth is Jesus.
23
knitty Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:12 PM
You can book Daunte Culpepper for your wedding for only $2000 (maybe non-negotiable)
24
johndewar Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:12 PM
somewhere between when the pizza delivery guy forgets your 2-liter and 9/11, im guessing.
Now, I’m hungry for pizza.
25
knitty Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:13 PM
http://www.thuzio.com/daunte-culpepper.html
26
sousedbergin Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:13 PM
QB i WOULD want to get drunk with? ken stabler.
Yes, exactly and Stephen Garcia can bar-tend, he needs work.
27
spencer096 Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:13 PM
Come now, Colt McCoy seems like a nice enough guy.
The only that goes in his mouth is Jesus.
flawless victory.
28
Nada Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:14 PM
QB i WOULD want to get drunk with? ken stabler
But if he got mad at you, he’d get a state trooper to plant coke in your car just to fuck you up.
/ True story’d
I think I’d pick Broadway Joe, circa 1970, or Bobby Layne if I wanted to get plastered with a QB.
29
sousedbergin Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:15 PM
You can book Daunte Culpepper for your wedding for only $2000 (maybe non-negotiable) http://www.thuzio.com/daunte-culpepper.html
So depressing, how many of those Custom Requests are white dudes wanting Daunte to bang their wives?
30
knitty Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:15 PM
Cant book Vin Baker for celebrations though…
http://www.thuzio.com/sports/basketball/vin-baker.html
31
spencer096 Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:15 PM
But if he got mad at you, he’d get a state trooper to plant coke in your car just to fuck you up.
counterpoint…he knows where to get coke.
32
Nada Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:15 PM
Come now, Colt McCoy seems like a nice enough guy.
The only that comes in his mouth is Jesus
Oh, wait, that’s Tebow I’m thinking about …
33
sousedbergin Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:20 PM
Bobby Layne
Picking dead guys? How about the Golden Boy?
His biographer, Billy Reed, says Hornung “led the Packers, and maybe the NFL, in chasing women, hanging out in bars and nightclubs, and generally trying to circumvent the strict rules of Vince Lombardi.” And famed sportswriter Dick Schaap, who spent a week with Hornung leading up to a game vs. Cleveland, summed up an average Hornung day: “At three (after practice) he’d come home, mix a pitcher of martinis, and drink martinis with Ron Kramer and the others. Then they’d go out an have dinner, a group of players. Scotch before dinner. Wine with dinner. Brandy after dinner. Then back on scotch. Every day. I lost count by the time it had reached more than 60. Also, he never went to bed before four in the morning and he never went to bed alone.”
In fact just read this whole article.
You are very welcome.
34
Nada Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:25 PM
Picking dead guys? How about the Golden Boy?
Would you really go drinking with a Golden Domer who represents every hypocritical thing about that institution?
35
yorwifesahor Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:36 PM
If you win the lottery, you should quit your job.
……….JaMarcus Russell
36
sousedbergin Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Would you really go drinking with a Golden Domer who represents every hypocritical thing about that institution?
Yes, yes I would.
37
The Wayne Fontes Safari Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 2:45 PM
Tiki Barber Will Play on Your Flag Football (or Basketball or Kickball) Team For $1,950
For an additional $19.50, Jim Fassel will come and coach your team.
38
roger from oz Says:
November 12th, 2012 at 5:53 PM
he can’t run anymore. $1,950 might be too much.