This is the story of a fan trying to stay connected with his favorite team and that favorite team destroying that fan’s life. Just kidding. This is the story of a jackass filing a frivolous lawsuit because of something that strains to fit the definition of an inconvenience. Jerry Wojcik, a Bills fan, moved from Buffalo to Florida so he signed up to get text message alerts from the team. From the Buffalo News:

Trouble is, he says, the text alerts became too frequent. So now he and his attorneys are suing the Bills, in the form of a class-action lawsuit, complaining that the team sent him a few extra messages.

How many texts are a few extra?

In their legal papers, his attorneys claim that after he signed up for a Bills program that pledged to send him no more than five text alerts per week, he instead received six messages one week and seven a few weeks later.

I feel like there are at least nine zeros missing from that sentence.

“I’m just appalled,” a Bills fan with personal knowledge of the case said, before turning sarcastic. “Obviously, he was grievously harmed and is deserving of a pile of season-ticket money.”

If you take out “before turning sarcastic,” this is an article straight out of The Onion. This guy is the worst. He is seeking “$500 per excessive call for negligent violations and up to $1,500 per call for willful violations.”

[Buffalo News via @Michael_Necci]