Mark Sanchez and Eva Longoria broke up. According to US Weekly, Sanchez kicked Longoria, 37, out of his life like she was a metaphorical football and his life was a metaphorical end zone and sadness and depression were the metaphorical Patriots defense. Woe is Eva, for she is the disenSanchised…

“Mark adores and respects Eva,” Sanchez’s rep tells Us. “It really was about scheduling more than anything else. They will remain close friends.

“There was no drama,” one source tells Us of the split. “They just have completely different schedules and lifestyles.”

Sanchez, who turns 26 next month, is coming off a tremendous game (28-41, 328 yards, 1 TD, 2 TO, 1 this) against the Patriots so he probably realized that he can have his pick of attractive young beards women in the tri-state area.

[US Weekly]

Previously: Mark Sanchez Took Eva Longoria to Dinner to Celebrate Beating the Mighty Buffalo Bills
Previously: Mark Sanchez Dating Eva Longoria? Now There’s a Photo to Match the Rumors
Previously: Mark Sanchez & Eva Longoria? That’s the Rumor, Anyway