The San Francisco Giants and their 5-0 record while facing elimination this postseason play host to the St. Louis Cardinals on Monday night in an all too rich, do-or-die Game 7. The famously pesky Cards have already forced Nationals closer Drew Storen into staring at an empty cart for hours upon hours, so anything but extra innings in this noble joust would prove to be a severe disappointment.

The winner will of course have a Wednesday night appointment with Jim Leyland and the Detroit Tigers. And truthfully, even fans of the A’s and Yankees might find it difficult to root against Detroit, mostly because Jimmy’s smokey mustache is just too damn magnetic.

To put this game in proper perspective though, let’s hand the microphone over to reliever Jeremy Affeldt to truly digest what’s at stake:

“There are two teams in the same boat right now. You’ll see two teams go out and give it everything they’ve got,” Giants reliever Jeremy Affeldt said.

This is correct. A series knotted at three games apiece would indeed put two teams in the same boat. On that blistering note, I’ll be pulling for the Cardinals.

Going this evening for the Giants will be reliable starter Matt Cain. Taking the mound for the Cards will be the immortal Kyle Lohse, which is pretty damn hilarious. But now that I’ve mocked Lohse as the Game 7 starter, you can expect him to throw seven shutout innings, leading St. Louis to another World Series appearance.

Related: Brian Wilson Played the Bongos on the Heads of Matt Cain & Clay Hensley
Related: Drew Storen Dejectedly Staring at Nothing is Beyond Depressing