Comments on: Surveillance Video of Murray State Guard Zay Jackson Hitting People With His Car in a Wal-Mart Parking Lot

By: scripty

scripty — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 23:29:42 +0000

My inlaws have some single mothers in it. So it’s the single mothers and their moms raising a number of young boys. Similar to the story above. These women have no freaking idea how to tell a kid to pee.

While I didn’t have to deal with a weekend of wang-instruction like Dirt I’ve had to explain all this. These women also have all the kids try to use the underwear pee-hole thingy and for a toddler who’s on the edge of pissing himself, that’s too much.

Dirt, you’ve done your civic duty on this.

By: Pdd53

Pdd53 — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 22:47:38 +0000

So does her husband know that his kid saw your wang?

By: Nada

Nada — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:54:13 +0000

And she was also trying to explain but simultaneously not explain the husband’s weird hangup

Wonder if she herself has ever seen her husband’s peen, or if they just fuck through a hole in a sheet.

By: #pettycowards

#pettycowards — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:50:25 +0000

34 is funny in context

By: Cowboy Mike's Old Original Red Hot Ricochet Barbeque Sauce

Cowboy Mike's Old Original Red Hot Ricochet Barbeque Sauce — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:48:17 +0000

Wrong thread.

So the kid’s dad has a small cock.

By: Cowboy Mike's Old Original Red Hot Ricochet Barbeque Sauce

Cowboy Mike's Old Original Red Hot Ricochet Barbeque Sauce — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:47:36 +0000

Yeah I know, even if it’s a low grade tear it will heal in a few weeks, that just shocks me they’re not sitting him for a week considering how reliant they’re about to be on him going forward the rest of the year.

By: ms621

ms621 — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:47:33 +0000

What the hell did I just read?

By: ButtersBC

ButtersBC — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:37:35 +0000

And she was also trying to explain but simultaneously not explain the husband’s weird hangup without going into too much detail about why he had the hangup

Sandusky’d?

By: Nada

Nada — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:35:07 +0000

That last time a TBL story went on that long, it involved a sex barn, and I am just very relieved the words “sex barn” did not appear in this story.

By: Clayton Cargill

Clayton Cargill — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:35:04 +0000

I need a transcript of how this conversation even begins…she just jump right in or was there a long easing in towards it?

the mom is one of those ladies who giggles at the end of every sentence she makes, whether she was trying to be funny or not. And she was also trying to explain but simultaneously not explain the husband’s weird hangup without going into too much detail about why he had the hangup.

By: Clayton Cargill

Clayton Cargill — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:35:00 +0000

I need a transcript of how this conversation even begins…she just jump right in or was there a long easing in towards it?

By: #pettycowards

#pettycowards — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:32:23 +0000

That’s a happy ending

By: GloriousMullet

GloriousMullet — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:27:48 +0000

This sounds strange, but that story makes me happy for that kid. He needed that. Next obstacle is not dropping the pants to the floor, but hey, baby steps.

By: Clayton Cargill

Clayton Cargill — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:27:40 +0000

Later, while we’re at dinner, this kid will not even give me any breathing room. We’re best buddies. And he starts asking me about everybody else. Does Nolan have a penis? Yes. Does the dog have a penis? Yes and No. What about the baby? Does the baby have a penis?
So I show him the baby’s penis. And he says, “the baby has a small penis.”

Right then I’m starting to tell him about babies, and the penis and how it’s gonna grow, but he interjects on me and says right to my face while staring in my eyes, “but you’ve got a BIG penis!”

So a male preschooler who’s never seen another set of adult male genitalia says my penis is big.
#humblebrag

By: #pettycowards

#pettycowards — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:26:30 +0000

Do you have a lawyer with you right now dirt?

By: St. Bear

St. Bear — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:24:22 +0000

Then, I had to give him a prize for watching me pee.

You filmed it for his parents to show him when you’re not available?

By: Clayton Cargill

Clayton Cargill — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:24:18 +0000

so like 2 times Saturday, and then two more times Sunday, this kid was watching me pee. Asking me if I needed to pee so he could watch, often.
The mother was slightly aghast because I don’t normally refer to the penis as a penis. So now her kid is saying weenie, and she’s got the vapors, but she asked.
Finally, this kid decides he’s willing to give it a shot, and he pulls down his pants, all the way to the floor. And then he chickens out completely and just stands there scratching his butthole. So we had to quit that time.

Later in the same day, with the ante upped (he got the game reward, plus I threw down a bag of M$M’s to sweeten the pot) and he pees in the toilet, standing up. His mother was in the room for this one, and she’s clapping and all that.
Then, he wants a tissue to wipe off the tip of his weenie, and I drop the life lesson for the ages on him. I say “no, dude, wiggle it. Just wiggle it.” So he wiggles his weenie to get the drops off, and success is had by all.

By: GloriousMullet

GloriousMullet — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:23:48 +0000

His mother made him wipe his weenie when he was done

This kid doesn’t have a chance

By: ButtersBC

ButtersBC — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:22:54 +0000

And what the mom wants, is for me to take him into the bathroom and pee while he watches

I need a transcript of how this conversation even begins…she just jump right in or was there a long easing in towards it?

By: Clayton Cargill

Clayton Cargill — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 20:20:46 +0000

I found it extremely difficult to actually pee, because this kid was staring hard. So I sang myself a little song, and go the party started. And he tilted his head to watch the action and all that. It was super weird.
Then, I had to give him a prize for watching me pee.