Beano Cook: The Story About the Lady Who Wanted the Pitt Football Roster
Encapsulating a character like Beano Cook can be hard, though this anecdote from his time as Pitt’s SID that appeared in his 1982 profile in Sports Illustrated is a gem.
When Beano Cook, the newest member of ABC’s college football announcing team, was the Pitt sports information director, he got a call one day from a woman asking for a copy of the Panthers’ football roster. “But lady,” Beano replied, “there are 120 guys out for the team right now. You really oughtta wait three weeks, till we make the cuts and are down to 75 or 80 kids. Otherwise, it’s really a waste of your time.”
The woman, however, was adamant. She needed the roster. Pronto. “But why?” Beano asked, dreading the hours it would take to round up the name of every tackling dummy cluttering up the practice field. “Because,” she said, matter of factly, “I want to sleep with everybody on the Pitt football team.”
Beano gasped. “Well,” he said, clearing his throat, “in alphabetical order, starting at guard…Cook, Beano.”
Here is ESPN’s tribute video.

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13 Responses to “Beano Cook: The Story About the Lady Who Wanted the Pitt Football Roster”
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October 11th, 2012 at 5:03 PM
Rolen! Also jeets is dh. First time since 95 someone besides him starts at dd for yanks in postseason ( or at all?)
October 11th, 2012 at 5:03 PM
Daily reminder that all women are whores except your mother?
I kid, I kid.
October 11th, 2012 at 5:06 PM
vez, no surprise there. Jeter was hobbling all night after fouling a ball off his foot (oh and because he’s old and has no range)
October 11th, 2012 at 5:07 PM
Cankle lover.
October 11th, 2012 at 5:07 PM
someone besides him starts at dd
Designated Driver?
October 11th, 2012 at 5:08 PM
vez is using the convenient excuse of typing on his phone for his typos. Not buying it. hitting the bottle a bit too early
October 11th, 2012 at 5:08 PM
Nice post, Duffy. I’m comforted knowing that Beano won’t be subjected to Nike’s inevitable Pro Combat’ing of Penn State.
October 11th, 2012 at 5:11 PM
Wow, that is fantastic.
October 11th, 2012 at 5:15 PM
I could watch Beano Cook videos all day.
October 11th, 2012 at 5:20 PM
He really loved that terrible terrible helmet.
RIP Beano
October 11th, 2012 at 5:23 PM
So Michigan helmet, Penn State jersey, Notre Dame pants, and Penn State cleats will create a must go to visitation. Casket will be Army green with Pitt Panther paw handles.
October 12th, 2012 at 8:20 AM
I nearly fucking lost it at the end when he said, “don’t take me until the season ends, I want to know who’s number one.”
Well, I hope they gave the old coot the DVR and let him hit fast forward.
October 12th, 2012 at 2:00 PM
So you’re saying she is a whore…?