Lance Armstrong Part of “most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen”
Lance Armstrong was stripped of his Tour de France in August after he decided to stop fighting doping charges. Today the United States Anti-Doping Agency released a statement claiming that Armstrong was at the center of “the most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen.” The New York Times summarized some of the vague details.
Sworn testimony from 26 people, including nearly a dozen former teammates on the United States Postal Service team. Those Postal Service teammates have admitted their own doping and say that Armstrong doped, encouraged doping and administered doping products on the team
The proof includes…
The evidence against Armstrong features financial payments, e-mails, scientific analyses and laboratory test results that show Armstrong was doping and was the kingpin of the doping conspiracy, the agency said. Several years of Armstrong’s blood values showed evidence of doping, said a person involved in the case who did not want his name used because the results have not been revealed yet.
Since Armstrong has already given up the fight to clear his name, you can only assume he will just shrug at this news.
[USADA.com via New York Times]
Previously: Lance Armstrong’s Charity Saw a Huge Bump Yesterday, But Could Suffer in the Long Run
Previously: Lance Armstrong: Who Cares? No, Really, Who Cares About Him Losing his Tour de France Titles?
Previously: Lance Armstrong Facing New Doping Charges, Again

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141 Responses to “Lance Armstrong Part of “most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen””
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October 10th, 2012 at 1:34 PM
Since Armstrong has already given up the fight to clear his name, you can only assume he will just shrug at this news.
Agreed. While I think Armstrong is a lying creep, the USADA is coming off creepier. Let it go.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:36 PM
You know who I feel bad for? Ballz. All that internet breath wasted defending this guy.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:37 PM
Have Carl Lewis and Lance Armstrong ever been in the same place at the same time?
October 10th, 2012 at 1:37 PM
Agreed. While I think Armstrong is a lying creep
I’ve always contended this. I got into a huge argument with a yellow wristband wearing friend a few years ago about this. Not gonna lie, I had a smirk on my face when I saw he was dropping his fight against the charges.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:38 PM
Always remember, he fucked an Olsen twin.
/has nothing to do with anything.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:38 PM
methinks that Armstrong takes this as a compliment.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:39 PM
Have Carl Lewis and Lance Armstrong ever been in the same place at the same time?
+1 Charge it to the game man. Build a bridge and get over it. I’m just like, whatever. Whatever.
/said in high-pitched carl lewis voice
October 10th, 2012 at 1:39 PM
Looks like he’s giving her the old Tuesday Night Music Club there.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:39 PM
Always remember, he fucked an Olsen twin.
/record skips
Wait. What?
October 10th, 2012 at 1:41 PM
“most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen”
anybody who thought Lance Armstrong was totally clean while sitting atop earth’s dirtiest, most blood-dopey sport, for 7 years was an idiot.
Especially if you consider that taking EPO was originally part of his cancer treatment.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:41 PM
I think NOW they can let it go. If they let it go just because he said he wasn’t going to fight it, then at some point he would have questioned the evidence and said they had nothing.
I’ll never forget the (Nike?) commercial from years ago with him doinga voiceover as he biked. “Everyone wants to know ‘what am I on’…’what am I on?’ I’m on my bike, busting my ass, six hours a day…that’s what I’m on”.
That’s from memory, probably butchered. You get the point.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:42 PM
Still more offended at that charity that exists mostly to advertise Lance Armstrong’s existence
October 10th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
The banned substance should have been Michelob Ultra.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
You know who I feel bad for? Ballz. All that internet breath wasted defending this guy.
It’s too bad the internet handle Hincapie and Collapse is so obtuse, because it would have been perfect for Ballz to have adapted 5 years ago.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
Always remember, he fucked an Olsen twin.
/record skips
Wait. What?
He fucked an Olsen twin.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:44 PM
Always remember, he fucked an Olsen twin.
so he likes making sex to raccoons? is this a positive?
October 10th, 2012 at 1:45 PM
I hate Sheryl Crow and her shitty music
October 10th, 2012 at 1:48 PM
GOD she was (is?) the worst. THEE worst.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:48 PM
I put here.
/Team Anti-Relgion/GOP comments nothing to do with anything
October 10th, 2012 at 1:49 PM
I was in tears last night when I heard that.
Ya know, in that pic, Sheryl Crow looks kinda nice.
/hooray for older women’d
October 10th, 2012 at 1:49 PM
Anyone else not know that angry Alannis Morrissette song “You outta know” -the one that’s about giving head in movie theaters and back scratching sex- was about Uncle Joey?
I didn’t know this until last week. Couple that with this Olsen twin business and Bob Saget’s dirty mouth and your take on Full House is flipped upside down.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:49 PM
She was the opening act for a concert I saw about 5 years ago. Even more horrible in person.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:50 PM
The banned substance should have been Michelob Ultra.
+1
October 10th, 2012 at 1:50 PM
You spelled Mittons wrong
October 10th, 2012 at 1:50 PM
Guilty. Just like those asshole saints players and coaches. Burn ‘em all, I say. Burn ‘em all.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:51 PM
Dave Coulier is a pimp.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:51 PM
I was in tears last night when I heard that.
pretty damning quote by that “friend” of carl lewis.
“Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t.”
Perhaps Armstrong would have been better off using this.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:52 PM
Fuck all of you comment 8 was gold.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:52 PM
Is Sheryl Crowe hot? Have we come to a consensus on this matter?
October 10th, 2012 at 1:53 PM
Also, Candance Cameron looked fantastic last week in the Sunny promos…and the middle sister was a meth addict.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:54 PM
I think she’s classified as “Tina Fey Hot”
October 10th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Especially if you post about every new piece of info.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
I don’t know what it means, and I am afraid to Google it due to your voracious appetite for porn coupled with the obvious sexual innuendo of your post.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Yes. Yes to both.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Quick wiki search shows that Candace Cameron is an evangelical christian. I wonder if she is as kooky as her brother.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Her boobs were about 6 years ago.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:56 PM
That’s her debut album title, and in this case, his cock.
FUCK YOU ALL
October 10th, 2012 at 1:56 PM
I just looked on my the paw of my cat and it’s spelled correctly. Next you’re going to tell me it’s a dicke towelette?
October 10th, 2012 at 1:56 PM
Whoa, now come on. That’s just taking things a bit too far. Tina Fey is hot. There’s no qualifiers to her beauty.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:57 PM
Wow. Candace slimmed up nicely.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:57 PM
I felt equally as strong about my “Flowers By Irene” comment earlier today, but you don’t see me crying about it.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:58 PM
Yeahhhhhhhhhhh, definitely Kitten Mittens
October 10th, 2012 at 1:58 PM
Anyone else not know that angry Alannis Morrissette song “You outta know” -the one that’s about giving head in movie theaters and back scratching sex- was about Uncle Joey?
no. there is no way i believe this. dave coulier is a horrid unfunny piece of elephant dung.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:58 PM
What’s a murder?
October 10th, 2012 at 1:59 PM
She’s no Lisa Loeb.
/Mole it’s her breakout album? I don’t get it
October 10th, 2012 at 1:59 PM
Tuesday Night Music Club was the first compact disc I ever owned. Followed closely by Cracked Rear View.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:59 PM
no. there is no way i believe this. dave coulier is a horrid unfunny piece of elephant dung.
look it up. he was tapping 20 year old alannis when he was in his late 30′s (?). Then he dumped her, she got mad, wrote a song, and became insufferable.
October 10th, 2012 at 1:59 PM
HOLY SHIT
October 10th, 2012 at 2:00 PM
I didn’t know what it meant, and FUCK YOU MAYBE YOU SHOULD STEP IT UP WITH YOUR WITTY COMMENTS YOU DICKHOLE AND FUCK YOU FOR KNOWING WHAT HER FISRST ALBUM WAS EVEN TITLED
October 10th, 2012 at 2:01 PM
Okay, so Uncle Joey was 35 when he was with 20 y/o Alannis Morrissette.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:01 PM
This made my day.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:01 PM
How can there possibly be two people who didn’t know this
October 10th, 2012 at 2:01 PM
Those Canadians really stick together
October 10th, 2012 at 2:03 PM
She’s no Lisa Loeb.
what the hell? she now has a butt to go with those glasses?
time to rough up the suspect with this news.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:04 PM
I didn’t know this until last week.
You need to get out more.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:04 PM
FUCK YOU EVERYTHING MUST PANDER TO MY KNOWLEDGE BASE WHICH IS WIDELY INCONSISTENT AND ENTIRELY RANDOM/IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW. FUCK YOU.
/Confrontation Wednesday
October 10th, 2012 at 2:05 PM
Where the hell have you guys been on the Lisa Loeb pic? Pretty sure I caught a nut to that at least a year ago.
/not actually sure
//evening plans, ya’ll
October 10th, 2012 at 2:05 PM
Remember when Alanis Morrisette was God in “Dogma”?
October 10th, 2012 at 2:05 PM
I didn’t know this until last week.
You need to get out more.
hey there old man, I was like 8 years old when that song came out. sorry i’m not up to snuff with your early 90′s tabloid stories.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:07 PM
There’s no way she still looks that good, right?
October 10th, 2012 at 2:07 PM
Remember when Dogma was the worst fucking movie of all time?
FUCK YOU THEN WHY DON’T WE JUST TALK ABOUT BEERS INSTEAD OF SKINNY ASS DIRT DOBBER SKANK POP SINGING WHORES WITH SHITTY ALBUMS FUCK
October 10th, 2012 at 2:08 PM
Remember when Kevin Smith was funny?
October 10th, 2012 at 2:09 PM
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it. But it is a Kevin Smith movie. So, like all of them, it’s probably one of the worst ever. Get a second plane ticket, you fat fuck!
October 10th, 2012 at 2:09 PM
Remember when Kevin Smith was funny?
Vaguely. Long time ago. So, not really.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:10 PM
anybody who thought Lance Armstrong was totally clean while sitting atop earth’s dirtiest, most blood-dopey sport, for 7 years was an idiot.
Especially if you consider that taking EPO was originally part of his cancer treatment.
I’m an idiot. I’ll cop to it. I wanted to believe the guy was clean. Bought into the story. Also helps that the “bad guys” were/are the French.
I’m usually surprised when somebody gets busted for PEDs. I want to believe that athletes are playing on the up and up. I remain an idealist. I understand this makes me a schmuck.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:11 PM
FUCK YOU I CAN AGREE TO THAT YOU CUNT.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:11 PM
Comical this isn’t even mentioned on ESPN right now. “most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen”. I thought they covered sports? Yet they covered Jerry Sandusky trial like it was a football game
October 10th, 2012 at 2:12 PM
Pretty sure Carl Lewis was wearing lip stick for his music video
October 10th, 2012 at 2:14 PM
I remember kind of laughing at Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. But I was like 17 or 18, so I’m not sure I would now.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:15 PM
wait just a fucking minute. did the fucking internet lie to me?
Mittons
October 10th, 2012 at 2:16 PM
Sheryl Crow, vastly overrated.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:17 PM
Remember when Kevin Smith was funny?
Yeah. clerks 2.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:19 PM
People hate Dogma now? Buddy Christ for the win…just hope this revisionist hate doesn’t take aim at Mallrats too
October 10th, 2012 at 2:21 PM
I like Dogma. Think it would’ve been better with Garafolo in the lead role instead of Fiorentino. And I wish they’d kept more of the original script jokes in there.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:22 PM
It’s been at least 10 years since I’ve seen Dogma. I don’t remember disliking it. Perhaps I’d have a different POV if I watched now.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
There’s two ’90s careers that have totally flamed out.
Fiorentino could bring it back in the day, though.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
I’d be too distracted wondering if Linda Fiorantino is dead now or what happened
October 10th, 2012 at 2:24 PM
Loved Clerks 2. Was also six years ago. Was one moment in ten plus years of garbage. Smith is an insufferable prick.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:24 PM
Rufus, the 13th Apostle, FTW.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:24 PM
fiorentino in MIB
a 20yo morrisette was quite a score. i’ll admit to being a big fan of her early looks, not so much tunes. she’s aged into horsefacey for sure
October 10th, 2012 at 2:26 PM
I can’t hate on any movie that employs a rubber poop monster.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:26 PM
I didn’t like Dogma the first time I saw it but very much enjoyed it the next time I saw it. Might have seen it once or twice other than that but it has been a long time.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:26 PM
You’re officially uninvited from TBL Thunder Bay.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:27 PM
+1 Stink-Palm
/or 3 nipples
October 10th, 2012 at 2:28 PM
So, third time around, I hope you got it right.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:30 PM
I would absolutely attend TBLCanada…let the poutine races commence
October 10th, 2012 at 2:30 PM
have made it somehow this far without seeing any smith joints. i was too busy criticizing blazing saddles
October 10th, 2012 at 2:31 PM
I plan on giving Soused’s woman the ol’ Tuesday Night Music Club while his dog watches.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:33 PM
I mean I don’t WANT to side with the Chicago Clique …. but come on man
October 10th, 2012 at 2:33 PM
But what’s his position on wide stances in men’s restrooms?
October 10th, 2012 at 2:34 PM
I’m not a fan of Blazing Saddles…let the healing begin
October 10th, 2012 at 2:35 PM
there would have to be fishing, and shore lunch. and french canadian women. and polar bear viewing
October 10th, 2012 at 2:35 PM
Chicago Clique
Is this a new show airing this fall on NBC Thursdays 8/7c?
Beep. beep. BEEEEP.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:36 PM
Is it because people on horses are even higher off the ground than normal?
October 10th, 2012 at 2:36 PM
Serving as the lead-in to Two Broke Souseds.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:36 PM
Attending meetups in the Mexico of the South and North would actually be kind of bucket list’y.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Edwin Jackson. Still not very good in the Postseason.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
Coming close to needing a second page for my Enemies List
October 10th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
i know, it just don’t think fart jokes and horse punching is that funny. maybe a little but certainly not legendary
legendary is shit like fletch and 40yo virgin and anchorman and massive headwound harry
October 10th, 2012 at 2:41 PM
Mike Matheny still bunts after his pitcher smokes a double? Impressive.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:42 PM
Jane Fonda, Daniel Shore, Jack Anderson …. HEY, this is Richard Nixon’s enemies list, you just crossed out his name and put yours!
October 10th, 2012 at 2:42 PM
Right on.
…
October 10th, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Oh, so now that Karras isn’t around to defend himself, all the vitriol comes pouring out, eh?
How about The 500-Pound Jerk? Anyone remember that?
October 10th, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Chicago Clique
Is this a new show airing this fall on NBC Thursdays 8/7c?
Beep. beep. BEEEEP.
YOU’RE RISKING A COMMENTER’S FEELINGS!
October 10th, 2012 at 2:46 PM
>
“How did you find America?”
“Turned left at Greenland.”
“Are you a mod or a rocker?”
“I’m a mocker.”
October 10th, 2012 at 2:47 PM
40yo virgin and anchorman
…
i can only go on how hard i laugh. not how clever someone is with parody or satire. i had a hard time breathing at a couple different spots of 40yov
October 10th, 2012 at 2:48 PM
This post has got to be an SEO “doping” record.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:48 PM
I am afraid she is many kilometers outside your league. I’ll ask around for a nice vegan sociopath though.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:48 PM
having been through Thunder Bay, that may be a blessing
October 10th, 2012 at 2:48 PM
or really, the best eras of SNL. that shit is legendary and i’d choose it every time over a mel brooks flick
October 10th, 2012 at 2:49 PM
We both know that isn’t true. What’s a kilometer, again?
October 10th, 2012 at 2:49 PM
speaking of singing chicks who love the beach, not enough love for colbie caillat round here
October 10th, 2012 at 2:50 PM
Also I would never date a vegan. Ever. In a million years.
Nor someone with Celiac’s disease.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:51 PM
we have a friend with crohn’s. seems similar. as in, must suck
my wife tries to be a vegan but she cheats enough that i pronounce her sufferable
October 10th, 2012 at 2:54 PM
Uh polar bears are giant hungry relentless killing machines?
/Another hipster ‘edgy’ tourism death
Considering all she knows is that you wear a sweater for days on end covered in brownie/cum stains.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:55 PM
Silent Movie, vastly underrated.
The Producers, hands-down one of the funniest things ever put on film. (Original, not remake.)
October 10th, 2012 at 2:55 PM
In my defense I was on a bender and those brownies were amazing.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:56 PM
By the way, Vez, what was the coda to the story about your wife sending you a pic of a bear in a tree? Did she make it home, or did she git et?
October 10th, 2012 at 2:57 PM
Crohn’s will kill you eventually though.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:58 PM
Canada’s finest export of the last decade.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:58 PM
Uh polar bears are giant hungry relentless killing machines?
/Another hipster ‘edgy’ tourism death
they have sweet tall vehicles that take people into the daily path of the bears and park. the bears are curious and rise to sniff the windows and you safely sip cocoa and shtoop some serf babe
/churchill
October 10th, 2012 at 2:58 PM
Especially if you marry the wrong one.
October 10th, 2012 at 2:59 PM
By the way, Vez, what was the coda to the story about your wife sending you a pic of a bear in a tree? Did she make it home, or did she git et?
yep, she’s dead
October 10th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
SG got engaged?
October 10th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
I have no idea who that is and seeing her I don’t care to.
October 10th, 2012 at 3:01 PM
Should’ve drank some BODYARMOR.
October 10th, 2012 at 3:01 PM
for soused. i can google
October 10th, 2012 at 3:03 PM
I keep forgetting, all you get on TV in America’s Hat is Alan Thicke, Don Cherry and The Great White North.
/ Death Comes to Town was a letdown. When did those guys all get old and fat?
October 10th, 2012 at 3:05 PM
Alas, no one to provide solace at home on TBL’s inaugural I Hate Vez Day.
October 10th, 2012 at 3:07 PM
We, nada. We
October 10th, 2012 at 3:07 PM
We as a country spend a great deal of money making sure children don’t get eaten trick or treating there this month.
/seriously
//good investment though
October 10th, 2012 at 3:09 PM
Oui oui.
October 10th, 2012 at 3:10 PM
We all know you’re just saving them to fatten them up for Canadian Thanksgiving or whatever that fake holiday is you guys have.
October 10th, 2012 at 3:13 PM
We, nada. We
Oui oui.
also, Wah Wah
/now, stop
October 10th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
Fine Canadian Export.
October 10th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
I presume that’s a Peter North cumpilation.
October 10th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
Hip hop
and ya don’t stop
October 10th, 2012 at 3:21 PM
Wtavere it is, it’s blocked on my work computer, so it must be interesting.
October 10th, 2012 at 3:47 PM
What? No, it’s just Feist I feel it all.
October 10th, 2012 at 3:55 PM
King of Propofol fired her for monkey fucking Bubbles.
October 11th, 2012 at 11:13 AM
not enough love for Cobie Smulders round here
Canada’s finest export of the last decade.
No thanks.