Dikembe Mutombo Made Jalen Rose Handle “Adult Situations” For Him When Rose Was a Rookie
Jalen Rose detailed what NBA rookie hazing was like for Grantland. When he was a Nuggets rookie, Dikembe Mutombo purportedly made him do late night CVS runs for him when there was “an adult situation.”

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24 Responses to “Dikembe Mutombo Made Jalen Rose Handle “Adult Situations” For Him When Rose Was a Rookie”
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October 10th, 2012 at 4:24 PM
who wouldn’t want to hear Dikembe’s o-face howl
October 10th, 2012 at 4:27 PM
This euphemism is not helpful.
Condoms? Lube? Morning after pill? I am lost.
/Team condoms are for suckers
October 10th, 2012 at 4:29 PM
Yeah I would like some more info on this as well. I’m not going to watch the video so some of the better quotes from it would be nice. Although I guess it’s possible “an adult situation” is the best quote from the whole video in which case nevermind.
October 10th, 2012 at 4:30 PM
Are adult situations when people sex each other? You know, the youths sex each other all the time, so maybe we should just refer to it as having sex, plowing, banging, smashing, etc.
October 10th, 2012 at 4:31 PM
The video does not add much clarity…only that there was an early morning flight involved.
October 10th, 2012 at 4:31 PM
If only Reggis Bush had a Jalen Rose-like rookie gofer to make “adult situation” runs to the drugstore, his insect-like baby mam wouldn’t be rubbing her hands in glee at the thought of the imminent monthly five-figure lifetime payments.
October 10th, 2012 at 4:32 PM
At TBLAD, we refer to it as “SIL-ing.”
/ Rollo, in memoriam
October 10th, 2012 at 4:34 PM
Tony Reali wants his wardrobe back, Jacoby.
Also, should’ve rehosted the video and slapped a watermark on there to piss them off.
October 10th, 2012 at 4:36 PM
We plan on hazing the new intern, too. Might just try to find a kid in NYC so CRM/Duffy/Hernia can put him to use.
October 10th, 2012 at 4:36 PM
Who Wants to Sex Mutumbo?
October 10th, 2012 at 4:38 PM
Who Wants to Sex Mutumbo?
That’s a good one. The day they release a new Month in GIF is like Xmas.
October 10th, 2012 at 4:39 PM
So, what you’re saying here is if Reggis (I’m assuming you meant “Regis”, as in Regis Philbin) had a gofer (I’m assuming you meant “gopher”, as in the beast of the field) that looked like Jalen Rose, he would’ve made said gopher run to the drugstore to get items that would pertain to adult situations so that a baby mam (I’m assuming you meant “man”, as in a dude) wouldn’t be rubbing there hands in anticipation of child support. A baby man-dude. Dudes can’t have babies. What the fuck Nada? Does that mean Regis is gay? The fuck?
October 10th, 2012 at 4:41 PM
Are adult situations when people sex each other?
No, it’s when a coach criticizes a reporter
October 10th, 2012 at 4:43 PM
Baltimore beat writers going apeshit over Tony Romo allegedly hanging up on them during a conf call.
/patiently waits for ESPN non-story breaking news
October 10th, 2012 at 4:44 PM
Sorry, the NyQuil cocktail from last night still hasn’t worn off.
Reggis = Reggie
gofer = gofer
mam = mama (“mam” is acceptable, though; ain’t you from The South?)
Ain’t you never seen Junior?
October 10th, 2012 at 4:45 PM
Tony Romo allegedly hanging up on them during a conf call.
It’s even worse than that. He seemed a little miffed about some questions from some other reporters a couple of weeks ago but claimed he wasn’t. My only tip on this journalistic masterpiece? Follow the money
October 10th, 2012 at 4:45 PM
Media musings! Media musings!
October 10th, 2012 at 4:47 PM
Absolutely anyone could do an impression of Mutombo and it’d make me laugh every time. See also: Trent Tucker
October 10th, 2012 at 4:48 PM
Didn’t he co-star with Beat Takeshi in some yakuza shoot-’em-ups?
October 10th, 2012 at 4:49 PM
Also, the answer to this is yes.
October 10th, 2012 at 4:51 PM
Mount Mutombo
/Literally
October 10th, 2012 at 5:23 PM
My only contribution to this is that a friend of my witnessed, circa 1990, Dikembe walking into a bar and motion “Ladies, come to Dikembe.” She’s not a basketball fan or Simmons reader so I tend to take her at her word.
October 10th, 2012 at 5:29 PM
As a pickup line, this is on par with the following as trash talk:
“I am coming for you, sir.”
“Oh, no, it is I who is coming for you.”
October 10th, 2012 at 5:40 PM
Last week when I asked you this, you told me “nope”. Make up my mind, whydontcha?