NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview & Picks: Week 5
We’re a quarter of the way through the season now. That’s the analysis for this week.
Last Week: Jason (9-6), Stephen (8-6)
Overall: Jason (33-27-3), Stephen (25-33-3)
Atlanta (-3) @ Washington
Jason: Mike Wilbon has never been to Atlanta apparently. (Falcons)
Stephen: Mike Wilbon doesn’t think RGIII is anything to write home about. (Falcons)
Philadelphia (+3.5) @ Pittsburgh
Jason: The winner gets an overnight in Happy Valley. (Eagles)
Stephen: The battle of Pennsylvania. Can’t wait to see which quarterback takes the most punishment. (Eagles)
Green Bay (-7) @ Indianapolis
Jason: Simultaneously rooting for both teams here, so tie goes to the home team (Colts)
Stephen: I just got RedZone channel like a week ago, is Andrew Luck any good at football? (Colts)
Cleveland (+9) @ New York Giants
Jason: The Browns will be far enough away at the end of the game that Weeden could not possibly overthrow the end zone. (Browns)
Stephen: Eli is due for a 600 yard game at some point. (Giants)
Miami (+4) @ Cincinnati
Jason: Brian Hartline is deceptively fast. (Dolphins)
Stephen: Michael Vick will need to die before I finally make the move to put Andy Dalton as my starting fantasy QB. (Bengals)
Baltimore (-6) @ Kansas City
Jason: I’m sure the Chiefs will solve their turnover problems this week against Baltimore. (Ravens)
Stephen: Remember that time Joe Flacco got married? (Ravens)
Seattle (+3) @ Carolina
Jason: Cam Newton is more Bratz than Hello Kitty, am I right? (Panthers)
Stephen: They must love Marshawn Lynch at the Seattle Applebees. (Seahawks)
Tennessee (+6) @ Minnesota
Jason: From big underdogs to big favorites, just like going against Arizona last week, love the Titans (Titans)
Stephen: Adrian Peterson is still alive. (Vikings)
Denver (+7) @ New England
Jason: Peyton Manning and Tom Brady–one is a diva, the other just helped his wife purchase an interest in the Memphis Grizzlies. (Broncos)
Stephen: Brady – Manning for the first time without the Colts involved. I hope Chandler Jones doesn’t kill Peyton. (Patriots)
Buffalo (+10) @ San Francisco
Jason: The game that proves just how meaningful Wonderlic is for quarterbacks. (Bills)
Stephen: Chris Berman will be delighted while he annoys everyone talking about this game. (49ers)
San Diego (+4) @ New Orleans
Jason: Wait, the Saints are favored? I’ve gone against them four in a row, no need to change yet. (Chargers)
Stephen: The Chargers are so good that you almost forget Norv Turner is somehow still their coach. (Chargers)
Houston (-9) @ New York Jets
Jason: Why do I have the feeling the Jets will do something improbable just to troll us all. (Jets)
Stephen: A prime time game for the Jets? What God did I please!? (Texans)
- Lionel Messi Holding His Son Thiago Is Your Sports Photo of the Week
- UCLA AD Dan Guerrero Would Like People Stop Focusing on Steve Alford’s Past and Instead Look at What He Has Accomplished at UCLA
- Chris Parmelee of the Twins Got Hit in a Sensitive Area While Running to First [GIF]
- Steelers Fans Who Have Difficulty Spelling Should Avoid Homemade Tattoos
- Twins are Screening ‘The Sandlot’ at Target Field Today; Squints and Ham Showed Up, Too
- orly57 on Steelers Fans Who Have Difficulty Spelling Should Avoid Homemade Tattoos
- orly57 on Fans Are Buying All of Robert Griffin III's Wedding Registry Gifts, and He Has a Picture to Prove It
- resolutedefense on Premier League: Arsenal Books Champions League Spot; Spurs Snake Bitten Again
- Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez has the highest WAR evah! on Twins are Screening 'The Sandlot' at Target Field Today; Squints and Ham Showed Up, Too
- A.P. on Twins are Screening 'The Sandlot' at Target Field Today; Squints and Ham Showed Up, Too
87 Responses to “NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview & Picks: Week 5”
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October 5th, 2012 at 4:02 PM
Denver. WHOA.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:06 PM
Solid reasoning, but the Rams are competent. I’m not sure the Titans are. Especially with Hasselbeck. The Vikings could be your typical “great at home, suck on the road” team. They had no business winning in Detroit with the way their offense played, but the Lions special teams saved the day.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:07 PM
This is why we pigsplode. Great work on the pics, fellas
October 5th, 2012 at 4:08 PM
Bears minus 4.5
October 5th, 2012 at 4:09 PM
Yes to the Asian Eagles cheerleader, also think Steelers cream the Eagles this week. Steelers -3.5 is an easy bet.
/high fives CRM & Lisk
October 5th, 2012 at 4:10 PM
Jason: Why do I have the feeling the Jets will do something improbable just to troll us all. (Jets)
I’m so worried about this too.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:11 PM
Wow, western CFL cheerleaders all have caesarian scars and lock jaw from beer bottle opening, they do not look like Denver.
/Eastern CFL cheerleaders look like Eagles but live in Markham
October 5th, 2012 at 4:12 PM
Bc of troy and Harrison philly?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:13 PM
That Cowboys cheerleader looks like she couldn’t spell “football”.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:15 PM
That Cowboys cheerleader looks like she couldn’t spell “football”.
Not sure why, but that got a hearty laugh out of me. Probably because it’s true.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:17 PM
/spends rest of the day searching through the Broncos website for my future wife pictured above
October 5th, 2012 at 4:18 PM
Somewhere -
http://www.denverbroncos.com/cheerleaders/Patricia/afddd33d-6868-4893-b2d4-0e2294173964
October 5th, 2012 at 4:18 PM
Looks like Debra Morgan’s younger, infinitely more attractive sister.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:19 PM
/spends rest of the day searching through the Broncos website
let us know if they ever threw the peyton manning signing up there.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:19 PM
Former Player: Emmitt Smith
Movie: Sweet Home Alabama
DFW Area Restaurant: Mi Cocina
Article of Clothing: Yoga Pants
Phone App: Twitter
Cartoon Character: Clifford!
TV Show: What I Like About You
Holiday: Christmas
Song Right Now: “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz
Workout: Pilates
Meal: Tex Mex
Hidden Talent: Baking
Celebrity Idol: Carrie Underwood
Sometimes they’re stereotypes for a reason although I would not begrudge her baking for me while wearing yoga pants.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:19 PM
MY GOD, SHE CAN GET ME AN EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT AT ACE HARDWARE!!!!!!
October 5th, 2012 at 4:19 PM
Looks like Debra Morgan’s younger, infinitely more attractive sister.
she’d be gorgeous without the fake cans too. those are a little much.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:21 PM
denver cheerleader makes up for the other two.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:21 PM
I mean………what the..
October 5th, 2012 at 4:21 PM
Somewhere -
http://www.denverbroncos.com/cheerleaders/Patricia/afddd33d-6868-4893-b2d4-0e2294173964
MY GOD, SHE CAN GET ME AN EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT AT ACE HARDWARE!!!!!!
I’d let her use my tool
/all i got
October 5th, 2012 at 4:21 PM
Also here travel destination is “Africa.”
October 5th, 2012 at 4:22 PM
“I hate Clifford the Big Red Dog. I hate him. There are fifty books about Clifford the Big Red Dog. There are seven books about Narnia that cover the birth and death of a nation, and mice with swords, and a lion who is a god. They did it in seven books. FIFTY BOOKS about Clifford the Big Red Dog, and they all tell the exact same story: ‘Look how big this dog is.’”
October 5th, 2012 at 4:22 PM
she doesn’t look as good in the official broncos photo, it looks like one of her implants is trying to slide over to the other boob and merge with the other implant.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:22 PM
Somewhere -
http://www.denverbroncos.com/cheerleaders/Patricia/afddd33d-6868-4893-b2d4-0e2294173964
/spills white paint everywhere
October 5th, 2012 at 4:23 PM
Article of Clothing: Yoga Pants
I can’t besmirch her for this. Yoga Pants are doing the Lords work on Charissa Thompson here.…
October 5th, 2012 at 4:23 PM
DFW Area Restaurant: Mi Cocina
Aside from their sour cream chicken, very overrated.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:24 PM
it looks like one of her implants is trying to slide over to the other boob and merge with the other implant.
they’ve become self aware?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:25 PM
Snark aside, I really thought it was sad that she has to work as a cashier to make ends meet.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:25 PM
Snark aside, I really thought it was sad that she has to work as a cashier to make ends meet.
she has a bachelor’s degree, yes? she too dumb for pharmaceutical sales?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:26 PM
At least three of my cheerleader survey answers would be ‘whiskey.’
October 5th, 2012 at 4:26 PM
Cheerleaders make no money. Mostly, it’s a platform for them to get exposure for modeling gigs.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:27 PM
Charissa Thompson can get it though… she’s insanely more attractive than Beadle.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:27 PM
Cheerleaders make no money. Mostly, it’s a platform for them to get exposure for modeling gigs.
I read somewhere that they’re paid $75 a game. That was a few years ago though.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:28 PM
Ok, when I said “no money”, I didn’t mean zero. Should’ve said “basically no money”.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:29 PM
I’m not very good at this…but are we sure that is the same Broncos cheerleader?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:29 PM
and we’re all in danger because of it.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:30 PM
Hell, I’m sure a high-end restaurant would love to hire her as a waitress. Tips would be rolling in for her. She isn’t fully realizing her earning potential.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:30 PM
no, but we should still judge them as their betters
October 5th, 2012 at 4:30 PM
Ok, when I said “no money”, I didn’t mean zero. Should’ve said “basically no money”.
Oh I wasn’t trying to correct you, just wanted to give you some ammo to back up your claim.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:30 PM
Terrific, excited for the fucking swamp donkey replacement cheerleaders.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:30 PM
At least three of my cheerleader survey answers would be ‘whiskey.’
/high five
October 5th, 2012 at 4:31 PM
I’m not very good at this…but are we sure that is the same Broncos cheerleader?
I don’t think so… nose is different?
/not good at that either
October 5th, 2012 at 4:33 PM
I’m not very good at this…but are we sure that is the same Broncos cheerleader?
I thought the same as you, but in both pictures she is wearing the same earrings. Half of the Broncos squad are long haired brunettes with big tits. I had to do some investigating. McInture isn’t the only sleuth around here.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:33 PM
Cowgirl in a landslide
October 5th, 2012 at 4:33 PM
all these girls with uber white smiles and fake tits look alike! this is hard.
yes. yes it is.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:34 PM
the sight of wheezing, overweight cheerleaders during the CBS commercial bookends will be tremendous.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:34 PM
literally every single one of these girls has fake tits.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:35 PM
This one went to Duke and is an adjunct professor!
October 5th, 2012 at 4:36 PM
literally every single one of these girls has fake tits.
And a bunch of them are wearing identical earrings upon further review.
/turns in badge and gun
October 5th, 2012 at 4:36 PM
Same reaction. But really, who cares?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:37 PM
Where’s Moleman?
What was your most memorable experience as a Denver Broncos Cheerleader?
Meeting Paul McCartney
October 5th, 2012 at 4:38 PM
Yup, they usually get like $50 a game. Whatever happened to the Bengals cheerleader that banged her student?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:38 PM
The girl up top is just so cute…I wouldn’t want her good named besmirched by a smirking diva (if it’s not her).
October 5th, 2012 at 4:38 PM
So?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:39 PM
This one went to Duke and is an adjunct professor!
I’d like to add my junk to her.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:39 PM
literally every single one of these girls has fake tits.
So?
in my experience that’s usually to draw attention away from a butterface. Some of Denver’s chearleaders, like the one above, are genuinely pretty.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:40 PM
Could probably fleece that stupid bastard for a few million while she was at it.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:41 PM
in my experience that’s usually to draw attention away from a butterface. Some of Denver’s chearleaders, like the one above, are genuinely pretty.
this is bullshit, how many toddlers with fake tits have you seen?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:41 PM
One girl I messed around with for a while back in college got them to go from super flat to a B…had a really pretty face too.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:41 PM
this is bullshit, how many toddlers with fake tits have you seen?
touche touche.
aren’t too many traveling circuses these days either.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:42 PM
wife ame through with a gang of tanqueray…
no, she brought home o’fallon pumpkin beer, so i can see what the fuss is about
missouri brewed so when you speak of me speak well
October 5th, 2012 at 4:43 PM
came across this comment re: Larry Johnson:
“That’s only about the eighth worst thing that someone from Penn State has done lately.”
October 5th, 2012 at 4:44 PM
The Steelers are coming off a bye and getting their 2 best defensive players back. Also, I think they need this game more than the Eagles do….they probably don’t want to fall to 1 – 3. For those reason, I think they beat the Eagles 23 – 12.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:44 PM
how did they not look like over-inflated water balloons?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:45 PM
She had money, she got a really good job done. It was also a small B closer to an A, not B going towards a C.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:46 PM
the one up top might be a cheerleader from a few years ago… perhaps she’s moved onto better things. or maybe she’s divorced with 2 kids?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:46 PM
This is 2012…we are about 3 years away from a legit Jurassic Park…we can make decent funbags.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:48 PM
If I am not mistaken…all photos used in the Pigsplosion were taken during the previous weekend (or at least 2 weeks).
October 5th, 2012 at 4:48 PM
This is 2012…we are about 3 years away from a legit Jurassic Park…we can make decent funbags.
I think some trillionaire down in Australia already started work on this. Same guy who’s building an exact replica of the Titanic.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:48 PM
Yup, they usually get like $50 a game. Whatever happened to the Bengals cheerleader that banged her student?
she gets 100
October 5th, 2012 at 4:48 PM
apparently not since she’s not waiting for me in a french maid outfit when i get home from work everday.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:49 PM
/tug collar
so I guess we all know how kaiser and his wife like to spice things up.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:49 PM
i can lay claim to spending some quality time with a woman who had breast enhancment work and a woman who had breast reduction work
correct sample size
October 5th, 2012 at 4:50 PM
genetically engineered cloned dinosaurs and the titanic, what could go wrong with that combo?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:51 PM
Dallas cheeleaser
Dammit, am I gonna have to race her to the bathroom when we both have to take some epic shits after a night of tacos and dos equis?
October 5th, 2012 at 4:51 PM
that broncos girl has some weird stomach skin. i gotta go asian here
October 5th, 2012 at 4:52 PM
There’s a test some surgeons do that grade a patient on how well their skin/frame would be able to support and adjust to implants. Some women look totally fine with them because they aren’t blatantly obvious. But then there are some women who went to dollar store surgeons that look like two basketballs stapled to a 2×4.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:53 PM
Don’t know if you guys have seen this, but it is fucking hilarious.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:53 PM
makes it easier for my wife if the cheerleader is there, she can cook dinner while the other cleans and i watch tv and drink scotch.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:54 PM
So great. Roethlisberger steals the show
October 5th, 2012 at 4:55 PM
o’fallon pumpkin beer is good, i guess
small sample size
October 5th, 2012 at 4:56 PM
The Eli/Vick exchange is priceless.
October 5th, 2012 at 4:58 PM
Google Elay Smith (NSFW) if you want to see the worst example of this. Butterface, zero curves, but giant blatantly fake cans.
October 5th, 2012 at 5:00 PM
i might let my wife get breast lift surgery but never botox
October 5th, 2012 at 5:01 PM
her face isn’t that bad. but those cans will need pam anderson level maintenance as she gets older.
October 5th, 2012 at 5:06 PM
her face isn’t that bad
sayyyy what???
October 5th, 2012 at 5:15 PM
apparently my google search on my phone is not incredibly reliable.