The NBA Media Day blitz has once again burst onto the scene like an 11-player, jailbreak sack in Tecmo Bowl. As you are probably well aware, picture day in the NBA has routinely delivered the goods in the most unintentional ways possible, which is exactly the manner we expect it to arrive. A foolish mix of ambitious photographers coupled with players forcing the issue creates an improbable comedic concoction for all to admire, so long as it’s from a healthy distance. Thankfully, this year was no different than years past, though I have yet to see oversized boxing gloves or a player bursting out of an empty picture frame. Oh well, we’ll take what we can get.

Did you know? When he wasn’t sitting on the bench during the Olympics, Anthony Davis spent countless hours working out with Pookie from New Jack City. Ballsy decision, but that comes as no surprise considering the lanky fella allows a mustache to reside above his eyes. When all is said and done, the Kentucky legend will make for a wonderful mannequin in the women’s department at Macy’s.

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Carlos Boozer wearing stupid sunglasses while pretending to do heroin? Predictable, yes, but it still manages to be touching.

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This was supposed to be a fun look at NBA media day, but Cleveland’s Donald Sloan has quite literally taken things into his own hands. Same to you, prick.

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Poor John Salmons. Either someone behind the photographer is punting kittens into a volcano or he was just informed there’s an unfortunate gray pube living in his goatee. Tough call, but I’m going with the latter.

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Kyrie Irving’s feet. Sadly, the dazzling point guard’s socks are tragically uneven, so I can only conclude he was hungover for this shitfest. And while I cannot confirm this for sure, inside that box is said to be NBA retiree Earl Boykins.

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Lawrence Frank reportedly confused “say cheese” with “sir, you are being charged with seven counts of sexual harassment.” If you ever had to choose a wingman from a list of every player, coach and executive in the NBA, Frank would be second to last, right above Adam Silver. Honorable to say the least.

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When you’re Marquis Teague, there’s simply no way to make it into an NBA media day post unless you grab your dong. Well played, sir.

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Not pictured: The fishing pole that caught Mike Dunleavy. However, I imagine I would sport a very similar expression of doubt and hopelessness had I moved to Milwaukee in the offseason.

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Ah yes, we’ve arrived at the “we’ve run out of shit to do” point of the photoshoot. It probably took less than five minutes to get there. Yeah, just hand Mo Williams a golf club, that’ll cut through the clutter. Or at the very least it will end up being mocked on the internet.

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Rick Adelman signed up for an insurance seminar and all he got was this unnerving photograph. Expect someone to pay dearly for this gaffe, and it starts with a crowd-pleasing wedgie.

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The defining photograph of Metta World Peace/Ron Artest’s career. So much going in that head, yet so very little. He looks as though the spaceship has finally, finally, arrived to take him home.

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Holy crap, has Sam Young spent the last six months playing cards with Tyrone Hill inside Kramer’s cigar room? The guy looks like he’s in dire need of a nap and some fresh air. I give it five years before he’s mistaken for Bill Russell’s brother.

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Previously: NBA Media Day 2011, in Pictures
Previously: NBA Media Day 2010, in Pictures