Last Week: Jason (9-6-1), Stephen (6-9-1)
Overall: Jason (24-21-3), Stephen (17-27-3)

New England (-4.5) @ Buffalo
Jason: Love New England coming off consecutive close losses here, and until last season’s interception fest shootout, Pats had owned Bills on road. (Pats)

Stephen: Ah… the annual game where the Bills play the Patriots tough and everyone thinks the Bills are finally ready to step up. /all the sighs (Bills)

Minnesota (+5) @ Detroit
Jason: Is Stafford going to play? Either way, like the Vikings to keep it close. (Vikings)

Stephen: Always knock down the Hail Mary. (Lions)

Carolina (+7.5) @ Atlanta
Jason: Love the Panthers here coming off a week where they have been trashed and Atlanta is the best ever. (Panthers)

Stephen: Cam Newton. More like Pussy Cat Doll, am I right? (Falcons)

San Francisco (-4.5) @ New York Jets
Jason: The Jets are finished, unless Tebow learns to catch better. (49ers)

Stephen: Sucks that Revis is done, but I think we can all still root against the Jets and have fun. (Niners)

San Diego (-1) @ Kansas City
Jason: I look forward to the next Philip Rivers fail face after this one is done (Chiefs)

Stephen: This week Jason Lisk has to explain what a whale’s vagina is to his youngest son. (Chargers)

Tennessee (+12) @ Houston
Jason: Titans cover this one if Chris Johnson’s yards per carry is greater than my college GPA (Texans)

Stephen: Remember that time a quarterback lost part of his freaking ear? How does that even happen? (Titans)

Seattle (-3) @ St. Louis
Jason: Cortland Finnegan would never be “simultaneously possessed” because he would stab you with the shiv hidden in his sock on the way to the ground. (Seahawks)

Stephen: Badger Style. (Rams)

Miami (+6) @ Arizona
Jason: Last year, teams that won at least two straight as an underdog and then were favored by a field goal or more went 0-3-1 ATS. Arizona has done it twice in last three years, failing to cover both–last year vs. Browns and 2009 vs. Panthers. (Dolphins)

Stephen: I can’t be the only one confused by Reggie Bush running like a real NFL running back this year, right? (Cardinals)

Oakland (+6.5) @ Denver
Jason: Mark Davis’ hair does not respond well to high altitude. (Broncos)

Stephen: This isn’t a rivalry game. The NFL has no rivalry games. Rivalry games take place 3 or more times a year. (Broncos)

Cincinnati (-3) @ Jacksonville
Jason: Can I request replacement officials for this one to liven it up a bit? (Jaguars)

Stephen: They should flex this game to 8pm Tuesday. (Bengals)

New Orleans (+8) @ Green Bay
Jason: Let’s just call this one the “Who Hates Roger Goodell More” Bowl. Winner gets to deliver a shaving cream pie. (Packers)

Stephen: Can the Packers finally score like 20 points? (Saints)

Washington (+3) @ Tampa Bay
Jason: Washington’s defense is so bad, they couldn’t even stop the Bucs from gaining yards on a kneel down. (Bucs)

Stephen: More like RG… I don’t know. I’m at a wedding. Leave me alone. (Bucs)

New York Giants (+1) @ Philadelphia
Jason: Including this one, the Eagles have been favored in 17 of their last 20 games. Obviously, Eagles fans can take solace in that. (Giants)

Stephen: I just threw a battery. (Giants)

Chicago (+3.5) @ Dallas
Jason: Lovie Smith would like to borrow Jerry’s glasses wipes to help him see when to challenge. (Cowboys)

Stephen: Go Bears! (Bears)

[photos via cheerleaders in various states of undress, and camera persons from US Presswire]