Had to shit during a half marathon, only option was port-o-potty, had to pull the trigger, still uncertain if I have AIDS from that experience.

wow, no one yet said:

I pooped a hammer

/you lose your confidence when you realize I’m barefoot in the street

//regain it when i see webbed toes

Most of the good stuff in first few pages. Good story about a runaway TJ kept trusting though. Love stories like that

beer garden

/not sure what a beer garden is
//googles beer garden
///none of these in the South
////we drink beer over a burn barrel

People that have very strict rules about where they shit (place the back of their thighs) and yet have no problem going out to a bar and picking up random women to have sex with perplex me. I know a few of them. Tried to reason with them. Alas.

Eh, I just don’t go down the Hershey Highway, and I use condoms. I’m not Monk, it’s not a crazy obsessive thing for me. I practice good hygeine but really I just hate shit.

i’d lay you out as a public service

You’re not going to kick like some sneaky fucking Russian are you?

Wrigley has this, no?

Someone once told me that they once peed in a double sided though facing the other side of pee-ers. Seems too weird to be true.

I recall round ones back in elementary school. 8-10 kids with pants on the floor peeing in a toilet-in-the-round.

/No Sandusky

you are what you eat, si?

i’d lay you out as a public service

Come at me bro.

/you lose your confidence when you realize I’m barefoot in the street

I imagine you holding a drink and screaming CUNT! then ranting on nihilism, communism, realism, surrealism and serfs.

Are you……can you see me right now?

well, the key is that since you;re expecting it, you have a good chance at not being hit with avoidance manuevers, like ducking, bobbing, weaving, floating like a butterfly, etc.

last time i struck in anger was like 1993. drunk guy targeted me from across a beer garden. i had a feeling long before he approached that something would happen. he slurred some shit to me and my friend, and i started having verbal fun with him. he pushed me, i knocked him down with a punch (he was unbalanced anyway) and as i went for at least one follow up punch i was held back and we left. we came back and the manager said we were ok, he knew that guy was an issue, etc.

When I had a paper route when I was 10 without fail at the farthest point away from my house I would always have to take a dump. I started carrying toilet paper with me and dumping behind a tree in someones yard. I didn’t think about it until I was much older what that homeowner must of thought when they found all that crap and TP located in their yard.

/Sitting at desk examining bruises
//boss gives me the ‘there is something seriously wrong with this guy’ look

i responded to you ‘looking insane’ comment with a comment that included the socia*** word, and it was harsh. then the original comment didn;t post because of that word

fucking fascists

the comment said

I imagine you holding a drink and screaming CUNT! then ranting on nihilism, communism, realism, surrealism and serfs.

i’d lay you out as a public service

I shit off the back of a boat this summer.

If this were a normal internet forum, I’d make this quote my signature