If you have found yourself anxiously awaiting a stadium brawl featuring dudes in USC jerseys — particularly one wearing a Reggie Bush throwback — taking on bros in Texans jerseys, you have come to the right place.

As usual, beer and thoughtful insults were likely players in inciting the riot, though the presence of Bush probably added to the uncomfortable sexual tension. Remember, Bush was nearly the No. 1 pick by Houston back in 2007, so perhaps that’s what this asshole summit was centered around.

Simply put, does is it get any dumber than fighting at a sporting event? Unless someone has dumped a beer on your kid’s head or mocked Mark Gastineau’s flowing hair, I find it difficult to imagine acting like such a supreme moron.

The key lesson in this mess? Never, ever attempt to fight someone who is a row above you. At such a distinct disadvantage, the duel is well over before it begins. It’s one of the golden rules of overcoming jackassery, right up there with turning your phone sideways while filming a video.

[via Black Sports Online]

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