Are you ready to read about the greatest frivolous lawsuit in the history of sports? In 2010, a woman sat down on a black marble bench outside Cowboys Stadium before the Silver & Blue scrimmage. She burned her ass. Because she can’t sue nature, she’s suing the Cowboys. From CBS DFW:

“She sat down on this black bench, outside an entrance and unfortunately she suffered third-degree burns as a result of it and had subsequent skin grafts,” explained Carrillo’s lawyer, Michael Wash.

The burns left her in the hospital for a week.

Part of the lawsuit, filed in Tarrant County civil court, states specifically, “The bench was uncovered and openly exposed to the extremely hot August sun. The combination of the nature of the black, marble bench and hot sunlight caused the bench to become extremely hot and unreasonable dangerous.”

The suit goes on to state that the stadium didn’t warn Carrillo or others about hot bench dangers and that there were no signs posted warning that the bench was hot.

Wash said his client suffered mental anguish, physical pain and disfigurement as a result of her wounds.

As silly as this sounds, hopefully it results in signs on everything that conducts heat. I am also very interested in the outfit this woman was wearing. There is obviously only one lawyer for her.

[CBS DFW via Eye on Football]