Ryan Dempster Traded to the Texas Rangers, Says Buster Olney
The Braves were denied, the Dodgers pulled out, and the Yankees tried to cop a feel, but ultimately it will be the Texas Rangers getting hot and heavy with Ryan Dempster. Yes, after all of this nonsense, it appears for now at least that Nolan Ryan and his band of Texan misfits have reportedly acquired the affable Cubs starter. In return, the Cubbies will receive two minor-leaguers and a swift kick to the nipples for dragging all of us through this enormous mess.
At long last, the MLB trade deadline has finally come to a close. Is there anything more asinine than this process? Probably, but this was an endlessly entertaining experience in the stupidest way possible. Special shout-out to all the morons involved.
[via USA Today, Buster Olney, Some Guy Yelling Things in the Street]
Previously: Ryan Dempster Now Could Be Going to the Dodgers, a Week After Not Going to the Braves
Previously: Ryan Dempster Has (Not?) Been Traded to the Atlanta Braves

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26 Responses to “Ryan Dempster Traded to the Texas Rangers, Says Buster Olney”
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July 31st, 2012 at 4:31 PM
After the double burn on Dempster earlier this week, I won’t believe this until he’s actually on a flight into Dallas that gets routed to Waco due to a mild shower over DFW.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:35 PM
Hey at least SC dreams big.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:35 PM
is this guy any good?
July 31st, 2012 at 4:39 PM
Maybe TBL should stay out of the MLB Trade Rumor business and just report the happenings once they are “official”, whatever the hell that word means these days.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:41 PM
Recently went 5 starts without giving up a run. Stuff won’t blow you away but he gets the job done. Move to Texas won’t help his numbers.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:42 PM
I didn’t think I wanted him on the Red Sox. We’ll see.
I was hoping for a Shoppach and maybe one more bullpen move too, but I like what the Red Sox did. All along, they have the players, just need them healthy and to play like the should. “Blowing up” the team wouldn’t have affected the Lackey/Crawford/Gonzalez monstrous contracts, so they can’t really alter the core too much anyway.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:42 PM
He’s not going to be good in Arlington.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:43 PM
wtf
July 31st, 2012 at 4:43 PM
That BABIP floating way below .300 is concerning especially coming to a superior hitting league. At least he doesn’t have to face the Rangers
July 31st, 2012 at 4:44 PM
Oswalt didn’t pan out, huh?
Shocking.
Dempster will get lit up there too.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:44 PM
Channing Tatum sucks almighty balls
July 31st, 2012 at 4:46 PM
Villanueva is a nice piece to add. Was stuck behind Olt (and Beltre). Shallowest position in MLB. Worst position in the Cubs farm system. I’m OK with this deal.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:47 PM
The arm coming back for Lars is Steven Wright, who is apparently a knuckleball pitcher. Interesting. 101K/62BB/115IP this year. With any luck, the Sox won’t have to hide him on the 40 man to avoid the Rule 5 Draft.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:48 PM
Isn’t pointless and foolish literally your job description around here?
/means that in the nicest way possible
July 31st, 2012 at 4:50 PM
Since hitting the jackpot with Breaking Bad, his choice of films could have been scraped from Cuba Gooding’s reject list.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:51 PM
I’m more interested as to why these two voluntarily commit career sepuku by starring in this shit show.
maybe gary oldman thought it was the 5th Element 2: One More Element
July 31st, 2012 at 4:52 PM
The Dodgers offer was worse than this?
July 31st, 2012 at 4:52 PM
Apparently the only ‘big name’ pitcher the Diamondbacks were talking about was Dempster and that was more to stop him from going to LA. Apparently the Diamondbacks didn’t care to offer Upton, Bauer, Skaggs and pieces for his services.
But hey Dempster isnt a Doyer so Win. Win.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:53 PM
Orioles didn’t make a move at the deadline. Was hoping they’d be able to add someone of value. Might be the first year in a long time that the East only sends one team to the playoffs.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:55 PM
Wasn’t the whole point of adding the second WC to make sure that never ever happened? Somewhere Bird Selig sadly eats a nut.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:55 PM
I guess you didn’t read the rest. And no, unofficially it’s “pointing and laughing.”
July 31st, 2012 at 4:56 PM
He’s been known to throw a few curveballs at the audience while on stage as well.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:59 PM
Oh, no I read the rest of it. And to be clear, I’m FOR pointless and foolish almost all of the time.
Would be super if the entire division is above .500 and only the Yankees make the playoffs.
July 31st, 2012 at 5:00 PM
You may not know this, but Queen did the soundtrack for the earlier version.
I’m guessing they line up Lady Gaga this time around.
July 31st, 2012 at 5:01 PM
And no, unofficially it’s “pointing and laughing.”
careful that’s actually a mirror…
July 31st, 2012 at 5:03 PM
The Braves were denied, the Dodgers pulled out, and the Yankees tried to cop a feel, but ultimately it will be the Texas Rangers getting hot and heavy with Ryan Dempster.
this whole post was great
/Coop