The London Olympics are Calling, From Alex (Morgan) to Zoe (Smith)
The Olympics started, well, earlier this week with some soccer games. But let’s not count that. So, officially, the Opening Ceremonies are today, and the events get going full steam tomorrow. Here’s an A to Z look at some of the athletes and stories you will see over the next few weeks.
A- Air Conditioning. It’s hot in London. Apparently, not everyone is getting A/C. Oh, and there is Alex Morgan, as the U.S. Team looks for Gold.
B- Dotsie Bausch. From drug problems and eating disorders to U.S. Olympian in cycling.
C- Veronica Campbell-Brown. The Jamaican star is looking to win gold in the 200 meter for the third straight Olympics.
D – Dong Dong. If he is in contention for gold, you will get plenty of pics on this site.
E- Ashton Eaton. The U.S. Decathlete hopes to bring home gold, so in 30 years he can star in a reality series involving a bunch of attention-seeking women.
F- Allyson Felix. She was involved in the Jeneba Tarboh controversy with the women’s 100 meters photo finish, and now will look to medal in that event as well as the 200 meters.
G- Justin Gatlin and Tyson Gay. The U.S. hopes in the 100 meters rest on Gatlin and Gay. Gatlin is competing in these Olympics after being suspended in 2008.
H- Hiroshi Hoketsu. The 71-year old Hoketsu of Japan is the oldest Olympian, again. He also competed in the 1964 (!) and 2008 Olympics in equestrian dressage. Of course, it’s probably more accurate to say that one of the youngest Olympic athletes will be carrying a really old dude on his back.
I- Indoor Volleyball. The U.S. Men’s team comes in as the defending Gold Medalists, led by 25 year old outside hitter Matt Anderson.
J- Lolo Jones. I was going to put her under the V’s, because the 30-year old hurdler is vivacious and full of vitality. Probably something else I’m missing.
K- Kippy Strug.
Just kidding. Let’s go with Kobe Bryant as the U.S. Men should move for Gold and Kobe gets credit for being a winner when paired with the best teammates.
L- Ryan Lochte. Get ready for Lochte vs. Phelps.
M- Missy Franklin. The star of the U.S. women’s swim team is expected to compete for gold in seven different events.
N- NBC. The Network will provide over 5,000 hours of programming on its various channels, including NBC, NBC Sports, MSNBC, CNBC, Bravo and Telemundo. That’s about 32 times the amount of on air coverage for the 1996 Atlanta Games.
O- Oscar Pistorius. The blade runner who is now dating a Russian super model will get plenty of attention at the London Games.
P- Michael Phelps. You may have heard of him. His entourage and gold medals will be back in the Olympic Games.
Q- Caroline Queen. She is a 20 year old Kayaker on the U.S. Team. Let’s face it, if her last name was Smith, she wouldn’t be here, but we need a Q. If she wins a medal in London, though, expect lots of bad monarchy puns.
R- Julia and Katie Reinprecht. These two don’t have to eat with a cork on their fork. The sisters from Pennsylvania, 21 and 23 years old, will be teamed up on the U.S. women’s field hockey team.
S- Stephanie Rice. She’s an Australian swimmer, which means she wears swimsuits.
T- Nur Suryani Mohamed Taibi. The Malaysian shooter will be 8 months pregnant when she competes.
U- Usain Bolt. The reigning gold medalist in the 100 meters, Usain is still the favorite to retain “fastest man” honors.
V- Voula Papachristou. The Greek triple jumper was notably expelled from the Olympics this week.
W- Jordyn Wieber. Wieber is one of the stars of the US Women’s Gymnastic team, along with Gabrielle Douglas, and you can be sure that the teenagers will be all over the primetime programming.
X- Alexandre DeSpatie. The Canadian diver has been to three previous Olympics, and twice won Silver at 3M springboard. He’ll be looking for Gold this time, battling a head injury where he hit the board in training, and tendinitis in his left knee.
Y- Yohan Blake. Yohan could be the one to challenge fellow countryman Usain Bolt. He won the 100 m World Championships last year when Bolt false started, and has the second fastest time ever in the 200 meters, behind Usain Bolt.
Z- Zoe Smith. A British teenage female weightlifting Olympian, Zoe Smith has been trolled recently by Twitter bullies, but she could become a star for her home country. Also, Zuckerberg’s old roommate Samyr Laine. The former Harvard track man is competing for his parent’s native Haiti.

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49 Responses to “The London Olympics are Calling, From Alex (Morgan) to Zoe (Smith)”
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July 27th, 2012 at 2:31 PM
C’mon, this one should have been easy:
Xenophobia
July 27th, 2012 at 2:34 PM
Can you get banhammered from your own site?
July 27th, 2012 at 2:36 PM
It’s hot in London
According to my iPhone, it’s 75 in London right now. About the only place that could be considered ‘hot’ is Antarctica.
/high of 97 in Dallas today, supposed to start breaking triple digits tomorrow
July 27th, 2012 at 2:37 PM
Fixed.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:38 PM
I’m glad you did your homework Lisk, because I have no clue who any of these people are. Except for Dong, of course.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:38 PM
Moleman, going all Charles Foster Kane.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:39 PM
/ coop’d to the nth degree
July 27th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
I.e., back to a normal summer in Big D.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:43 PM
Man I love that movie. Michael Caine. Legend.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:44 PM
I.e., back to a normal summer in Big D.
Exactly. Londoners need to shut the fuck up.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Keeping with the OLY theme, this was fun:
Name the Countries With 100+ Medals
I got all but two.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:45 PM
Get Carter. The most badass of badasses.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:46 PM
Who’s that hipster dude draped all over Alex Morgan?
Also, Oscar Pistorius is a Cheaty McCheaterston
July 27th, 2012 at 2:48 PM
I would’ve also accepted the staring contest bit between Conan and Andy where Kerri Strug starts furiously making out with her coach.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:48 PM
Xavier Rohart. French Sailing team. Competing in his 5th Olympics at age 44.
Way to blow it Lisk.
/never heard of him until I looked it up.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:50 PM
Boo this man!!
July 27th, 2012 at 2:55 PM
Who do think comes out of these Olympics as America’s sweet heart? Alex Morgan or Lolo Jones? I’m taking Alex Morgan.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:56 PM
Same here, and holy shit were they obvious ones.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:56 PM
We like winners. The USWNT are losers.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:57 PM
Missed one. To be fair it was a country no one cares about.
July 27th, 2012 at 2:58 PM
E stands for estrogen blockers.
/14 year old female gymnasts nodding
July 27th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
We like winners. The USWNT are losers.
Is the USWNT not the overwhelming favorites for the gold? I don’t follow soccer, let along women’s soccer, so I have no idea. It just seems to me like we should be.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:03 PM
Charles Nelson Reilly > Charles Foster Kane
/ NHO Charles Foster Kane
July 27th, 2012 at 3:05 PM
I missed Bulgaria.
Also holy shit does that site suck at quizzes compared to sporcle.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:06 PM
Pretty much. But we will choke just like in the World Cup last summer.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:06 PM
By the way, if TBL needs an Olympic athlete for the Roundup pic next week, I nominate Leryn Franco, javelin thrower from Paraguay.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:07 PM
Stupid unified team
July 27th, 2012 at 3:08 PM
Fucker cut his own legs off to gain an advantage. Bastard.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:08 PM
Jesus CHRIST and all we have is “athlete hot” soccer players. This stupid country.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:09 PM
By the way, if TBL needs an Olympic athlete for the Roundup pic next week, I nominate Leryn Franco, javelin thrower from Paraguay.
I think I almost saw drapes.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:11 PM
FTFY
July 27th, 2012 at 3:11 PM
Leryn Franco,
Ahh, yes. After a Google image search, I remember her. That one pick of her laying on the sofa in her undies. TBL did a post about her four years ago.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:13 PM
I missed Romania, and wait for it….Greece
//Dipshit
July 27th, 2012 at 3:13 PM
Something tells me that meatbeerbabes.com is a website that should be avoided on a company computer.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:15 PM
Our hot chicks aren’t going to put in the work it takes to be a world class athlete. They don’t need to, and I don’t blame ‘em
July 27th, 2012 at 3:16 PM
Something tells me that meatbeerbabes.com is a website that should be avoided on a company computer
It didn’t trip off any virus warnings. Unlike one of TBL’s round-up links earlier this week.
As far as NSFW, depends if you work for commies or not. She is somewhat clothed.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Another interesting Olympic tidbit: the torch relay was breamed up by the Nazis.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:17 PM
In other news. Jahvid Best is worthless and soft. Come on down Cedric Benson or LDT!
July 27th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
As far as NSFW, depends if you work for commies or not. She is somewhat clothed.
It’s difficult to know what is and is not acceptable in a country founded by puritan settlers.
Speaking of puritans, the first white person to be hanged after trial in this country was a settler in Massachusetts who was found guilty of bestiality.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
If the lady bits aren’t exposed, to me it’s SFW.
Let me rephrase that:
If the lady bits aren’t exposed to me, it’s SFW.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
Ah, a Scottish immigrant.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:23 PM
So he had sex with his Bestie? Go on…
/Coop’d?
July 27th, 2012 at 3:25 PM
The sweetheart of the Olympics will never be a women’s soccer player, and it’s unlikely to be any team sport player. Olympics is all about individual sports (exception: when USA wins in men’s hockey)
July 27th, 2012 at 3:25 PM
I learned something today.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
breamed upBy the way, I was not referring to this.
“Dreamed up”
July 27th, 2012 at 3:30 PM
breamed up
By the way, I was not referring to this.
“Dreamed up”
I figured you were talking about this.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:31 PM
Eat a goddamn cock ms, I don’t even have to click to know what that is.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Hahaha. I had a feeling I’d get a bite out of you mole.
July 27th, 2012 at 3:35 PM
Maybe it was subliminal, as that is the second-greatest play in the history of sports after Tracy Porter’s TAINT off Peyton.