The Dark Knight Rises wasn’t the film you needed. It was the film you wanted. Remember that quote?  How many columnists and movie reviewers began articles like that in the last week? I bet a bunch. Can you blame them? Man, The Dark Knight was fucking awesome.

And so – in my humble opinion – was The Dark Knight Rises. TDKR wasn’t perfect, but I loved every second of it. If my bladder were stronger, I would have wished the movie went on for another hour.

*Spoilers ahead*

Which brings me to the problems with TDKR. I saw the movie in the afternoon, didn’t have anything to drink, went to the bathroom right before we entered the theater and it still took every bit of willpower I could muster to not pee my pants before getting out of the theater. 2-hours and 44-minutes is a long damn time. The director’s cut should include an intermission.

The Dark Knight trilogy is one of the best trilogies ever and you could make a case for it as the greatest trilogy ever. (Apologies to The Mighty Ducks.) For me the debate is whether or not TDKR is better than TDK. After one viewing of TDKR and approximately a thousand viewings of TDK, I have to say it’s close.

My first complaint about this movie I loved is that the audio mix was distracting. The booming score was awesome, but the dialogue was bad at times. People worried that Bane would be intelligible and he was at times. You get over it because of the action and the beautiful scenery, but the sound was my main problem.

Plus, I couldn’t tell how much Tom Hardy was acting and how much Tom Hardy was just standing around with a mask like the fucking Hulk. During the big fight at the end when Bane was throwing punches at lightning fast speeds, I just wanted to watch Warrior again. (Great movie. See it.) Tom Hardy is a monster. Luckily, Hollywood doesn’t make you piss in a cup unless you’re Lindsay Lohan so Hardy is good. Bane was never going to be as good as The Joker and that’s OK. Bane was imposing and awesome, even if his motives got a little muddied and less righteous towards the end.

Can we talk about the number of actors from Inception? I’m a massive JGL fan so I was able to get over his inclusion, but whenever I saw Marion Cotillard all I could think of was her sitting on a ledge threatening to jump. Talia al Ghul? More like Malia al Ghul, am I right?

Before moving on to the ending, I just want to pick a few quick nits. In 8 years, billionaire recluse Bruce Wayne couldn’t have fit in a trip to Germany to see Kobe’s knee guy? 8 years after TDK, he’s still limping around using a cane? He didn’t even bother having a physical therapist come over for some simple rehab? Come on.

How many times can a brother break his back and recover in a month? Sheesh.We’re supposed to believe that a little girl can make the jump of faith because she feared death, but no grown man could? And how in the world did Bruce Wayne get from the prison back to Gotham? He has no shoes and no wallet. And, at this point in the film he is broke. I guess fearing death allows you to run across oceans and not get tired?

Still, all this was better than anything that had to do with Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Anne Hathaway was great as Catwoman. She looked stunning (catsuit ftw) and brought the little bit of levity to the film that no one else was even asked to attempt. I would support a Catwoman reboot. There’s no way it could go worse than the last attempt.

Speaking of reboots… Joseph Gordon Levitt as the new Batman? (Not going to happen, I know.) Lozo wrote a terrific post about why that wouldn’t work (along with plenty of other concerns with the film) but it does go towards Bruce Wayne’s idea that Batman himself was an idea. (Or something.)

Which brings us to the ending. Oh, the ending. Ignoring the fact that the bomb did not go off more than 6 miles from Gotham for a moment… I don’t think there is any question that Nolan should have killed Batman. At the very least, the movie should have ended with Alfred’s nod. You know, like when Inception ended and we don’t know for sure if the top stopped spinning. I got into an argument about the ambiguity of that ending at the bar after TDKR. My friend is certain it stopped. I’m certain you’re not supposed to know. And that would have been fine for TDK trilogy. Not knowing if Bruce Wayne ever actually used the autopilot.

Instead, we got the happy, cutesy ending where Batman has fallen in love with Catwoman and magically has tea at the same Paris Florence cafe that Alfred mentions to him once without giving an actual location. In Bruce Wayne’s defense, wouldn’t you run off to Paris with Anne Hathaway?

Despite all of these stupid little things, I loved The Dark Knight Rises. Bane was awesome. Nolan’s chase scenes are some of the most visually stunning scenes you will ever see. I’m actually sad that I don’t get to see this movie for the first time again. It was too long for a single film, but what I always wanted was more time in the Dark Knight Universe. The fact that I had a few beers the night before shouldn’t be held against Christopher Nolan. Especially after he treated us to one of the best three-movie series in history. The Dark Knight Rises was a fitting and epic end to that series. It might not have been the best movie of the trilogy, but it certainly tried to be.