That’s the best part about the Jeffrey. It goes away and then it comes back.

Not sure what protocol is though. The outing is for skin cancer research. Obviously we (company) already made a sizable donation to be in it – not sure if I’m supposed to fork over some of this money too.

/still sleeping well at night

/happy’s the word we were looking for
//flooded the ol’ engine

i believe ive smoked myself retarded.

/sniff

im so proud of you right now.

/2nd time I’ve won the prize in 4 years
//nothing like getting paid to golf and then cashing in big time on the course
///yes – I had to fill out the tax forms

A genie appears and offers him three wishes:

“The only catch,” says the genie, “is that whatever you wish for, your wife will receive 10 times over.”

“OK,” the guy says. “I want to be the best golfer in the world.” The genie blinks and suddenly the guy can feel a new golf swing–the grip, the takeaway, the power. “You can now crush every golfer in the world,” the genie says, “except your wife, who’s gonna beat you like a drum.”
The guy is a little bummed about that, so for his second wish he asks to be the world’s richest man.

“It’s done,” says the genie. “But don’t forget that your wife can now buy and sell you 10 times over. One wish left.”

“OK,” the guy says. “For my last wish, I’d like to have a mild heart attack.”

So they open the barn doors, he hits, and the ball ricochets off the barn door, hits her in the head, and kill her instantly.

About a year later, the widower is playing the hole with one of his friends and, sure enough, he hits behind the same barn. His buddy says, “Hey, let’s just open the barn doors and you can hit it right toward the green!”.

The widower responds, “Hell no! Last time I tried that I made double bogey.”

“OK,” the husband says. “Do you remember that blond secretary who worked for me 20 years ago? Well, I had an affair with her.”

And the wife says, “That’s nothing. Before we met, I had a sex change.”

And the husband says, “Why you dang cheat! All this time you’ve been hitting from the red tees!”

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs are phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with “the girls” a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them..” I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

Around midnight, I decided to hide next to the garage behind my boat so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with “the girls”. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind the boat, that I noticed some hairline cracks in my gelcoat, right were the hull meets the transom of my boat.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take the boat to the shop for repairs?

always more flexible when youre double jointed.

A golfer hits a huge slice off the first tee. The ball soars over a fence and onto a highway, where it hits a car, which promptly crashes into a tree.

The stunned golfer rushes into the golf shop and shouts, “Help! Help! I just hit a terrible slice off the first tee and hit a car and it crashed. What should I do?”

And the pro says, “Try a slightly stronger grip.”