Steve Spurrier Had Another Highly Quotable SEC Media Day

All, College Football Ty Duffy July 17th. 2012, 6:20pm

The Head Ball Coach took the stage for SEC media day today. He was his usual, highly quotable self. We’ll attribute the change jingling to needing to make a tee time or banquet beer withdrawal.

He took the obligatory shot at Nick Saban. “It’s easier to win the national championship than the SEC. Ask Nick Saban.” [via @schadjoe]

Spurrier made sure everyone knew just how easy Georgia’s schedule is. “If I made the schedule, Georgia would be playing LSU and we’d be playing Ole Miss.”

He was nebulous. “Every game we won last year, we were favored. Think about that.” [Were favored in every win, but did not win every game they were favored, were -9.5 at home against Auburn, 7-6 ATS in 2011]

Spurrier does not appreciate questions about his retirement. “Every time some sportswriter asks how long I’m gonna coach, I think I need to ask him, ‘How much longer are you going to write?’

He wants an 8-team playoff with six conference champions and two at large teams. “Well, if I was calling the shots, I would have 8 teams going to play.”

Spurrier offered his take on the Penn State Scandal. “Just a terrible mess.”

[Photo via Getty]

Previously: A Topless Steve Spurrier Shows Off Flapjacks at Spring Practice

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60 Responses to “Steve Spurrier Had Another Highly Quotable SEC Media Day”

1
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:24 PM
When he retires, some second-tier actor ought to do a “Mark Twain”-style one-man show – “the Wit and Wisdom of the Ol’ Ball Coarch”. Ninety minutes of quotes, quips, etc.
Spurrier is already funnier than Will Ferrell, for example.
2
ms621 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:26 PM
Spurrier offered his take on the Penn State Scandal. “Just a terrible mess.”
This is not as quotable as you think it is. The rest though is mildly interesting.
3
ohheelyeah Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:28 PM
Spurrier offered his take on the Penn State Scandal. “Sad. Sad that people are donating money to PSU.”
fixed
4
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:29 PM
The rest though is mildly interesting.
/strokes chin
Yeah, I see your point. I meant to allude to his overall body of work. If one bundled up his decades of smart-assery, you’d have a pretty entertaining package.
5
Jay V Of Considerable Influence Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:30 PM
I heart Steve Spurrier.
6
ms621 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:32 PM
/strokes chin
I’ve been growing a beard since my wife and I went to Europe a few weeks ago. It’s been coming in nicely, but the aspect of it I like the most is that when I stroke my chin it’s not nearly as pointless a gesture as it used to appear to be.
7
KC Resident Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:42 PM
When he retires, some second-tier actor ought to do a “Mark Twain”-style one-man show – “the Wit and Wisdom of the Ol’ Ball Coarch”. Ninety minutes of quotes, quips, etc.
Spurrier is already funnier than Will Ferrell, for example.\
I agree with all this. Spurrier is awesome.
8
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:44 PM
ms, that is way too smooth. People treat a bearded man differently. I tried to grow an obligatory post-retirement beard, but I looked like Fred Sanford.
Hopefully, your bride will support you keeping the beard for a long while.
9
oskie Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:46 PM
I love the NFL Films video of Spurrier asking if practice was over when he was coaching the Skins.
10
ms621 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:49 PM
ms, that is way too smooth. People treat a bearded man differently
It’s true. No fewer than 5 women told me in the last two weeks that they liked it.
Hopefully, your bride will support you keeping the beard for a long while.
She’s virtually demanding that I keep it.
11
KC Resident Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:52 PM
I used to grow a beard from Thanksgiving until sometime in the Spring when it warmed up here. I could not handle a beard in Ms’s Houston in the summer.
Or here this summer. Hottest summer in several decades this summer. Mowing has been replaced by watering the hell out of the garden, flowers, bushes and holy shit everything will be dead in two weeks anyway.
12
ms621 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:53 PM
I’m in Dallas, KC. It’s hot here, though honestly it’s hot here every summer. So I haven’t noticed a difference in having a beard versus not having a beard in the summer. Not yet anyway.
13
Tim Ryan Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:54 PM
It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.
/Reminder
14
ButtersBC Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:55 PM
I’m withholding comment until the Moleman has weighed in
15
Ty_Webb Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:56 PM
It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.
/not really
16
Monster is Meth Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:57 PM
I still can’t grow a full beard. My girlfriend is always telling me to go shave the ass hair off my face.
/Bitch
17
ohheelyeah Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 6:58 PM
It’s not the heat, it’s the humanity
18
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:02 PM
I still can’t grow a full beard. My girlfriend is always telling me to go shave the ass hair off my face.
‘tha hell?
Good news: you have a girlfriend.
Bad news: she talks smack like Steve Spurrier.
/it’s all fun and games until yada yada
19
TheRealAC Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:04 PM
this is the man i want my son to play for.
20
Monster is Meth Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:05 PM
She goes on these no sex till I shave deals. Turns into epic tests of will.
21
ms621 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:06 PM
She goes on these no sex till I shave deals. Turns into epic tests of will.
Do you give her similar ultimatums?
22
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:07 PM
She goes on these no sex till I shave deals. Turns into epic tests of will.
Dang. Pyrrhic victory, at best.
23
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:08 PM
Do you give her similar ultimatums?
24
Monster is Meth Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:08 PM
She’s in the desert till October so I get to not shave drink and go fishing all I want.
/Victory is mine
25
TheRealAC Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:09 PM
She goes on these no sex till I shave deals. Turns into epic tests of will.
the real question is, does your facial hair really look like ass hair?
26
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:09 PM
epic. ms, I am laughing, out loud.
27
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:09 PM
epic. ms, I am laughing, out loud.
28
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:09 PM
when asked about the sound boots make on hardwood floors: “click clack.”
on an unexpected visit from an out-of-state recruit: “i told you that kid could fly.”
29
Monster is Meth Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:10 PM
I just tell her it’s not happening and to put up or shut up.
30
TheRealAC Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:11 PM
She’s in the desert till October so I get to not shave drink and go fishing all I want.
on a horse with no name?
31
ms621 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:12 PM
when asked about the sound boots make on hardwood floors: “click clack.”
on an unexpected visit from an out-of-state recruit: “i told you that kid could fly.”
Those commercials were as ridiculous as the uniforms UA would later come up with for Maryland.
32
Monster is Meth Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:13 PM
I don’t think it looks like ass hair. Important thing is it doesn’t smell like ass hair.
33
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:14 PM
/team golf commando beard
34
ms621 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:17 PM
/team golf commando beard
Is that the beard that’s formed when you take a piss in the words during a round, and accidentally leave your wedding tackle hanging out of your fly as you turn around?
35
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:17 PM
Important thing is it doesn’t smell like ass hair.
I love, love TBLAD. Never change, fellas.
36
ms621 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:17 PM
words=woods.
Might be time for me to quit work for the day and head home.
37
JDiddy3000 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:21 PM
Cousins and uncles and I are shaving on Labor Day and not toching razors until Christmas Eve. My GF is pissed but was sold when I told her we can be pirates for Halloween (of course she’ll be a slutty pirate, so I win there).
The contest is to grow the beard and see who gets the longest, widest, most colorful, and most face skin covered. Then after the “Big Shave” we have a week of white trash shaving to compete in e.g. Wolverine, Joe Dirt, Perv ‘Stash, Olde Timey, etc.
/We are degenerate gamblers.
//We are lazy and don’t want to shave.
///We drink way too much and write drunken ideas down.
38
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:23 PM
i usually don’t piss during a round…a side benefit of not being a drinker.
/serious answer because golf’s no laughing matter
//serious face
///A golfer comes home to find his wife waiting on the front porch with steam coming out of her ears.
“Where the hell were you?” she demands. “Our guests came over, but the yard wasn’t mowed, there was no barbecue and you were missing. I’ve never been so humiliated!”
“I’m sorry,” the husband says. “Let me explain. We played golf this morning, but on the way back to town we stopped at a strip joint. I met one of the dancers, and she was so beautiful, and one thing led to another, so I took her to a hotel room for several hours of wild passion. Then I had a quick shower and rushed straight home.”
“Don’t you lie to me,” his wife says. “You played another 18, didn’t you?”
////veal
39
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:24 PM
Then after the “Big Shave” we have a week of white trash shaving to compete in e.g. Wolverine, Joe Dirt, Perv ‘Stash, Olde Timey, etc.
Ha! These are the good times.
40
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:28 PM
A man is stranded for years on a desert island. One day he looks up to see a gorgeous blond in scuba gear wading out of the water.
“Want a cigarette?” she asks, opening a waterproof pocket on her right arm, pulling out a pack and lighting one for him.
“How about a sip of whiskey?” she asks next, opening a pocket on her left arm and removing a flask.
As the man puffs on the cigarette and sips the whiskey, she slowly begins to unzip the front of her wet suit.
“Want to play around?” she asks.
And he says, “Oh, Lord, don’t tell me you’ve got a set of golf clubs in there, too.”
41
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:30 PM
Ha! It’s a two-fer-Tuesday. I hadn’t heard either of these.
42
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:34 PM
last one…
A golfer hits a huge slice off the first tee. The ball soars over a fence and onto a highway, where it hits a car, which promptly crashes into a tree.
The stunned golfer rushes into the golf shop and shouts, “Help! Help! I just hit a terrible slice off the first tee and hit a car and it crashed. What should I do?”
And the pro says, “Try a slightly stronger grip.”
43
TheRealAC Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:36 PM
who is this guy? a golfing willie nelson?
44
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:39 PM
why do i get more shoulder turn after i smoke weed?
always more flexible when youre double jointed.
45
ohheelyeah Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:44 PM
Dear Abby,
I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs are phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with “the girls” a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them..” I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
Around midnight, I decided to hide next to the garage behind my boat so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with “the girls”. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind the boat, that I noticed some hairline cracks in my gelcoat, right were the hull meets the transom of my boat.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take the boat to the shop for repairs?
46
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:48 PM
phenomenal.
47
Some Random Old Dude Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:48 PM
Storytime? Man, you guys are cracking me up tonight.
48
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 7:54 PM
A couple has played golf every day for 50 years. One day the wife says, “Honey, to celebrate five decades of golf and marriage, let’s start off with a clean slate and confess all our past wrongs.”
“OK,” the husband says. “Do you remember that blond secretary who worked for me 20 years ago? Well, I had an affair with her.”
And the wife says, “That’s nothing. Before we met, I had a sex change.”
And the husband says, “Why you dang cheat! All this time you’ve been hitting from the red tees!”
49
Roethlishotdog Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 8:00 PM
A guy and his wife are golfing, and he hits his tee shot behind a barn that abuts the course. His wife says, “Honey, we can open the barn doors and you can play right through the barn – see the green on the other side?”
So they open the barn doors, he hits, and the ball ricochets off the barn door, hits her in the head, and kill her instantly.
About a year later, the widower is playing the hole with one of his friends and, sure enough, he hits behind the same barn. His buddy says, “Hey, let’s just open the barn doors and you can hit it right toward the green!”.
The widower responds, “Hell no! Last time I tried that I made double bogey.”
50
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 8:02 PM
THAT’S FANTASTIC.
A genie appears and offers him three wishes:
“The only catch,” says the genie, “is that whatever you wish for, your wife will receive 10 times over.”
“OK,” the guy says. “I want to be the best golfer in the world.” The genie blinks and suddenly the guy can feel a new golf swing–the grip, the takeaway, the power. “You can now crush every golfer in the world,” the genie says, “except your wife, who’s gonna beat you like a drum.”
The guy is a little bummed about that, so for his second wish he asks to be the world’s richest man.
“It’s done,” says the genie. “But don’t forget that your wife can now buy and sell you 10 times over. One wish left.”
“OK,” the guy says. “For my last wish, I’d like to have a mild heart attack.”
51
Roethlishotdog Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 8:03 PM
Spence – by the way – played in a golf outing last Friday for work. After the round they have a chipping contest for the sponsors (which my company was). After my flop shot from a downhill lie over a bunker to the short sided pin stops 7′ away, I collected a cool $1500 cash for closest to the pin.
/2nd time I’ve won the prize in 4 years
//nothing like getting paid to golf and then cashing in big time on the course
///yes – I had to fill out the tax forms
52
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 8:04 PM
HOLY SHIT…congrats brother. that’s fucking unbelievable.
/sniff
im so proud of you right now.
53
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 8:05 PM
proud of you? proud for you?
i believe ive smoked myself retarded.
54
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 8:06 PM
HAPPY FOR YOU.
/happy’s the word we were looking for
//flooded the ol’ engine
55
ohheelyeah Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 8:06 PM
Roeth – incredible. maybe you can donate some of those monies to hiring a new tech support guy for Skip McIntyre?
56
Roethlishotdog Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 8:11 PM
Yeah – it’s pretty sweet. Just threw a grand in the kid’s college account and am saving the other $500 to fund my fantasy football/gambling account for the football season.
Not sure what protocol is though. The outing is for skin cancer research. Obviously we (company) already made a sizable donation to be in it – not sure if I’m supposed to fork over some of this money too.
/still sleeping well at night
57
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 8:13 PM
donate what you’d pay in taxes, take the deduction and karma and then buy $1,000 worth of weed.
58
spencer096 Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 8:16 PM
just sayin…youd sleep even better if you had a few bingers before the daily show, ya hurd?
59
TheRealAC Says:
July 17th, 2012 at 9:29 PM
just sayin…youd sleep even better if you had a few bingers before the daily show, ya hurd?
That’s the best part about the Jeffrey. It goes away and then it comes back.
60
roger from oz Says:
July 18th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
spurrier is still a bit of a nut job. all is well.

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Steve Spurrier Had Another Highly Quotable SEC Media Day

60 Responses to “Steve Spurrier Had Another Highly Quotable SEC Media Day”

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