Roundup: Robert Nkemdiche Wants Clemson to Offer His Teammate a Scholarship, Kyle Lowry to the Raptors & Sharks Eat Marlin
Kate Bosworth … Magic Mike ruled Red States; Ted the Blue States … the five germiest places in airports … Mayberry’s Andy Griffith died at the age 86 Wednesday … Ron Howard learned some things from Andy Griffith .. for the F. Scott Fitzgerald fans … Billy Hamilton is one fast baseball player … New Orleans is struggling with its murder rate … why the need for secrecy? … they caught a big shark on the West Coast … the auto-correct song … “Naked man caught masturbating while driving” … and a 3rd Andy Griffith link, highlighting the most popular episodes ever … a very well-written Nora Ephron obit …
Robert Nkemdiche, the nation’s No. 1 recruit, says he’s a “done deal” to Clemson if the Tigers offer another one of his high school teammates. [AJC]
The Raptors lost out on Steve Nash, but they did acquire Kyle Lowry from the Rockets. [Star]
“Michael Dyer Denied Eligibility Waiver From NCAA, Will Not Suit Up For Red Wolves In 2012.” [Arkansas Sports 360]
Police are using YouTube to catch criminals. [USA Today]
“Fake box score reported to newspaper leads to suspension of American Legion manager.” [Times Tribune]
Everybody wanted basketball recruit Zena Edosomwan, but he decided to play at Harvard. [SI]
You’ll be reading a lot about Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte in the coming weeks. [ESPN]
Hasheem Thabeet has been signed by the Thunder. [Oklahoman]
Nobody pitches more expensive gear than Novak Djokovic. [WSJ]
Alex Ovechkin is at Wimbledon with his girlfriend, Maria Kirilenko. [Bog]
Powerful story on the upbringing of Yankees pitcher Hiroki Kuroda. [NYT]
That tarp is dangerous. [via Hot Clicks]
Two years old, but still laugh-out-loud funny.
Marlin eaten by Tiger sharks! [via Jay]
Drunk man serenades his cat.
- Game of Thrones: “Second Suns” Recap
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- Yankees Will Wear Pixelated Camouflage Hats on Memorial Day
- Can Lance Stephenson Be A New NBA Marketing Success?
- Clayton Kershaw Threw 130 Pitches in His Last Start, Should Dodgers Fans be Concerned?
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July 6th, 2012 at 8:37 AM
“Michael Dyer Denied Eligibility Waiver From NCAA”
His denial letter from the NCAA read as follows:
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You don’t get to go, oh oh oh oh.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:40 AM
to think…i thought he’d be the next big RB after auburn’s NC. thought he was can’t miss.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:43 AM
how free is this country if you can’t tie part of a toy gun around your genitals and masturbate while driving in your own car without getting arrested by big brother?
/ron paul 2012
July 6th, 2012 at 8:45 AM
hopefully this political friday is as lolsome as this.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:46 AM
Corporations could be subject to boycotts and pickets, warned the Wall Street Journal editorial page this spring.
I want to fund campaigns against gay people/unions/etc, but don’t want them to know, so they’ll keep buying my products, so that I can afford to fund more campaigns against gay people/unions/etc.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:46 AM
how free is this country if you can’t tie part of a toy gun around your genitals and masturbate while driving in your own car without getting arrested by big brother?
I assume he was driving a stick shift?
/all I got, need coffee
July 6th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
to think…i thought he’d be the next big RB after auburn’s NC. thought he was can’t miss.
Yeah – a lot of us did. Sometimes you just can’t predict the knucklehead factor. Idiot. Have fun hanging with Isaiah.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
NHOT
July 6th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark’s in the water. Our shark.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
If it’s political Friday (humorous or not), I’m outtahere.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
you mean malzahn…isiah crowell’s at alabama state, i thought.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
That tarp is dangerous.
Grounds crew qualification #4: The ability to hold your breath for 16 minutes while your moron cohorts unwrap you from wayward tarp.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
Anybody ever done the deep sea Marlin fishing? That was a huge fish.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
and what a wise choice, since Alabama St is already in trouble with the NCAA for being incredibly shitty academically.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
tarpé diem.
/sieze the carp
July 6th, 2012 at 8:53 AM
you mean malzahn…isiah crowell’s at alabama state, i thought.
Oh yeah … but they’ll get together, I guarantee it.
Did you see Crowell is receiving “pro bono” services from some high profile attorney? He’ll beat this thing. Those Barney’s (see what I did there?) in Athens don’t stand a chance.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Which is which?
July 6th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
I think I speak for all of us when I say that any TAGS Top 10 list that doesn’t at some spot feature “Opie’s Charity” cannot be considered legitimate.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
i don’t see what’s wrong…bryce brown just got drafted after a similar stint despite the fact that he can’t play. RB’s shouldn’t worry about getting back to a good school…get to the lig ASAP.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
That tarp is dangerous.
I can’t see the video but presume it’s putting a tarp on a baseball field? When I worked in baseball, all hands were on deck for putting a tarp on before a rain delay. This idiot minor league ump wanted to get as much of a game in before calling it. Deathly black clouds, (we had a computer with the meteorlogical info in a dugout accesible for umps). Well this jackass decides to wait until the brutal rain starts before suspending play. The team had already directed fans to prepare for a weather event long before this.
When you put a tarp on, you have to keep it no more than a few inches off the ground or you’ll get a wind gust in there which will pretty much end in disaster. We’d practiced a # of times for speed and order b/c it’s something than can go foul and ruin your infield if done incorrectly. Worse, a person can trip and get hurt severely by the tube the tarp is on.
So, this terrible storm hits, we’re scrambling. We’re pulling all the corners to get it tight when a gust got under the tarp. It blew so hard under the tarp, by the time it got from one end to the other, it picked up the guy holding a corner about 5-6 feet off the ground and slammed him down. Broke his neck. Fortunately, he wasnt turned into a quad, saved by a 1/4 inche the doctors said. Guy had to wear one of those Jay Burlson halo things for half a year.
July 6th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
I like the Vader fist pump he does at the end, after he hurdles through another guy’s lane.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:01 AM
I’m just saying that a player that has had obvious issues playing at a school that hasn’t had the best track record for accountability as of late isn’t exactly ideal.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
New Orleans is struggling with its murder rate …
Well duh.
/New Orleanians’d
Yeah, in fact, NOBODY should even live there. It’s a post-Apocalyptic hellscape and no sporting events should ever be held there.
/Cowherd
July 6th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
t picked up the guy holding a corner about 5-6 feet off the ground and slammed him down. Broke his neck.
Thanks for instilling sleepless nights on me. My kid is working grounds crew for the Braves this year.
And no – in that video, the tarp is down and the wind gets under a corner. Crew is walking across the tarp toward the bubbling corner and got knocked over and wrapped like a Nathans in saran wrap.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:04 AM
Aaron Rodgers winning his second Super Bowl in the stadium Favre won his only one will be a magical evening
July 6th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
And we bet you’ve never heard of him — unless you are a fan of the Class A Bakersfield Blaze. Or you were lucky enough to see the 6-foot-1, 160-pounder tag up and score on a fly ball … to second base.
Impressive. Never seen anyone score at 2nd.
/Where are all the editors?!?!
July 6th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
No regrets, that’s my motto. That and Everyone Wang Chung Tonight.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
Aaron Rodgers winning his second Super Bowl in the stadium Favre won his only one will be a magical evening
Starting early with this, I see. Nice.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
for the F. Scott Fitzgerald fans
that was cool. I especially liked
I would know Tom Buchanan if I met him on the street and would avoid him
July 6th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
You need to diversify your bonds, that’s the words I live by.
/Wu-Tang Financial’d
July 6th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
Crew is walking across the tarp toward the bubbling corner and got knocked over and wrapped like a Nathans in saran wrap.
Yeah you should never walk across the tap. Big error on his part or whomever taught him about putting a tarp down. Hope he’s ok.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
ew. you’re on a mission to make aaron rodgers and the packers hated by starting this so early, aren’t you?
July 6th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
If I believed I held that much sway over the commentariat I already would have used that power to amass an organized crime syndicate
July 6th, 2012 at 9:14 AM
Eager to hear what MagicMikeNYC thinks about this.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
This doesn’t surprise me. Like at all. Lots of sexually frustrated female tea partiers in those states.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
Dance Hall Days > Wang Chung
July 6th, 2012 at 9:19 AM
I was listening to a rock ‘n’ roll station on my way over here, you know to put me in the mood. There was a passage in one of those trifle songs, that I feel, well, is the keynote of this evening: “Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.”
July 6th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
This is nuts…
Guy went to review Magic Mike, thinking he’d love in an ironic, “oh this is hilariously bad” sort of way, but he ended up loving it for real.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:21 AM
/broad strokes’d?
July 6th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
He’s holding out for the Magic Mitt parody
July 6th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
This doesn’t surprise me. Like at all. Lots of sexually frustrated female tea partiers in those states.
Also, lots of closeted male Tea Partiers who will make any excuse to see this with their wife or GF (“She MADE me go”) and then return to gay-bashing in order to keep their shame hidden.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
I’ll co-sign this.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Not really.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-beast/201206/the-sexual-obsession
July 6th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
It will be heartbreaking for TBL and Jets fans when they lose that night after Sanchupaquetzcatl leads them all the way there.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Magic Mike can’t be as good as The Full Monty.
/no coop
July 6th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Mayberry’s Andy Griffith died at the age 86 Wednesday
It was Tuesday.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Pulled tarp for a year in my first job almost 20 years ago. Minor League tarp is very different than major league tarp. Heavy with no handles. It was a real workout to pull it. Especially when it was covered with rain. Once pulled it off with only six guys. I was in the best shape of my life.
Worst injury I saw was a broken arm. It did get pretty harrowing once when the wind caught it and me and the guys got dragged into left field with our feet dug in so the tarp would wind up in the trees beyond the left field fence. That was fun.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Ah yes, the suppressive religious argument. I’ve never lived anywhere but the south, but haven’t run into many of these types. I do not seek them out, however.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
I had a dream I was watching a Jets game. They were losing. Jets put in Tebow, the crowd went wild. Then he fumbled trying to hand it off to the running back. It was glorious.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
Ha. The Internet creating something like this would not surprise me.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
Robert of house Barantheon owns it in that movie
July 6th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
I got a sweet beej on Friday night from super conservative chick. She named her cat after Bill O’Reilly and told me to stop at “Fox and Friends” while we watched TV together, then chided me for not going to church, specifically a Southern Baptist.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
She also has fake tits.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
that’s a nice way of saying he threw it at the feet of the running back on a short hook play.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
The first of his name.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
No, I will not. Maybe somebody will be writing a lot about them, but I won’t be reading it.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
Magic Mike ruled Red States; Ted the Blue States
Forget all the fancy polling, I guess this confirms that my state has crossed from Swing to Red State. Went out with several couples on Friday and all the women were wanting to go see Magic Mike at midnight after drinking. I vociferously objected. No one mentioned Ted.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
Some religious girls try anal or oral and still maintain air of moral superiority because they only consider sex to be vaginal penetration.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Goddamn Dunkin Donuts guy left both of my donuts out of my bag and gave me the wrong kind of muffin. This is worse than a million nine elevens.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
The Wife and a gaggle of her friends did this last weekend. We’re seeing Ted tonight.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
*slowly backs out of the room*
July 6th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
went to DD this morning myself, last day before i get back on my diet. unfortunately they didn’t leave out any of the donuts i ordered and their coffee was still shit.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
An unscientific polling of my acquaintances and Facebook friends have led me to the conclusion that, in the Northeast at least, only ugly heifers are interested in seeing Magic Mike
July 6th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
Anyone else on day 7 without electricity? 100 and 80%+ humidity today and 103 tomorrow. Fuck you, American Electric Power. Fuck you right in your cold, air conditioned buttholes.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
Not you too.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
I saw a commercial last night for their Oreo topped donut and literally started drooling
July 6th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
THAT’S WHAT THEY LEFT OUT OF THE BAG
July 6th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
Goddamn Dunkin Donuts guy left both of my donuts out of my bag and gave me the wrong kind of muffin. This is worse than a million nine elevens.
went to DD this morning myself, last day before i get back on my diet. unfortunately they didn’t leave out any of the donuts i ordered and their coffee was still shit.
just got some iced coffee from DD and i don’t know why i do this to myself. i might as well just pour a cup of water and put in some cream and sugar.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
Damn, I would want to kill myself
July 6th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
pics or gtfo.
/of the chick
//not of the beej
July 6th, 2012 at 9:45 AM
I’m pretty sure she’d put out if I took her out on another date. This was date No. 1.
All of this donut talk makes my belly grumble. Nom nom.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
An unscientific polling of my acquaintances and Facebook friends have led me to the conclusion that, in the Northeast at least, only ugly heifers are interested in seeing Magic Mike
I just let my wife know that you think she is an ugly heifer.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
I could never date a conservative chick.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
Weight Watchers. Eat whatever you want just count points correctly. 10 pounds in two weeks for me. Unfortunately if you have, say, Five Guys, that’s your meal for the day.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
I love the iced coffee from DD. It’s been pleasantly potent. I think it’s one of those that seems tame but it’ll wire you plenty, especially if you have an empty stomach.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
THAT’S WHAT THEY LEFT OUT OF THE BAG
You need to go back and get a month’s supply of donuts. Anything else to make up for it is unacceptable.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
Poor D12 the little bald eagle got electrocuted and died.
I won’t link it because I refuse to re-visit it, but Yahoo’s front page slideshow has a link to a story about a photographer who takes portraits of dogs before they’re euthanized. It’s to raise awareness about population control and care. It was very sad.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
I love people like that. Love.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
I qualified my study as ‘in the Northeast’, dick face.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:49 AM
Well, I had no idea she was this conservative until the actual date (it was a day after John Roberts’ “betrayal” as she put it), so it wasn’t too pleasant. But her sexual vibe was registering high, so I couldn’t pass on that, and there’s no way you can blame me. Besides, there won’t be a second date.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
It hit like 85 here in California, and I had to turn on the AC a couple of days ago…so I know exactly what you are going through.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
Oh I’m not blaming you. Dome is dome.
…. /coop?
July 6th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
That’s known as Tebowing, right?
July 6th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru, okay? They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru! They know you’re gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked! They know you’re not gonna turn around and go back, they don’t care. So who gets fucked? Ol’ molemaninthemorning! Okay, sure!
July 6th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
What a game by Club Fed.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
As long as you don’t live next to her.
/You’d
July 6th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
i’ve thought about it, but i do pretty well with healthier foods and running. was on vacation last week and taking two weeks off from running set me back, but tomorrow morning is the reset day for me.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
No shit, Sherlock.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
The question is, did you just play along and nod at whatever she said just go get the beej?
July 6th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
Federer!
July 6th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
Ha ha! Man, live and learn. This broad is up somewhere in Roswell. BUT she knows where I live because that’s where the beej went down.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
Fair enough. It keeps me from falling too far off the wagon if I go out for dinner or am drinking.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
The DD in my town has 99 cent coffee, any size. A glorious deal.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
Big mistake.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
Poor D12 the little bald eagle got electrocuted and died.
This is probably the #1 thing that gets large birds. They hit multiple lines with their wings. #2 is lead poisoning. (big supporter of The Peregrine Fund, a great non-profit).
but Yahoo’s front page slideshow has a link to a story about a photographer who takes portraits of dogs before they’re euthanized.
The screenplay I am currently trying to finish is about a guy who’s job it is to euthanize all the animals at a major city’s kennel. From my research, the volume of dogs euthanized annually in this nation would blow your mind.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
you gave her the Angry Dragon, didn’t you, you ol’ sonofagun…
July 6th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
Ha ha, yes, yes I did. And that’s how it had to be done.
The only time I think I reacted was when she told me to stop at “Fox and Friends” because “it will have the news” that I was looking for at that time. I laughed out loud and she got the WTF look.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
This seems rhetorical.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
Friend brought home a cute girl (7.5/10) from the bar when we were all partying. Turns out she believed dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time (not sure how this is possible in Canada) and he kicked her out. We then watched Jurassic Park. Good times.
I saw Ted and loved it.
July 6th, 2012 at 9:59 AM
I know a girl in HS who gave up the anus as to keep her hymen, and that led to her shitting all over the back seat of my friends car. And that is why I’ll probably never be having the anal sex.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
I just had some blackberries. so so good.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
I have a good idea of the number and it never ceases to blow my mind. I hate your screenplay!
This story I’m talking about is about a Taiwanese photographer. 80K dogs in 38 pounds on the island will be put down this year.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
This girl really sounds interesting. I’m not even being sarcastic. I would love to hear her justify how she can tell you to go to church and during the same night, give you a blowjob. I feel like you need to take one for the team, go on a second date and find out for all of us. What’s the harm? Considering she gave a blowjob on first date, it’s safe to assume you’ll get some on second date. Win win for everyone.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:01 AM
Jose’s story wins…or maybe loses
July 6th, 2012 at 10:01 AM
July 6th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
YOU SUCK
July 6th, 2012 at 10:03 AM
Appropriate link to a story I just read about the Creation Museum, where dinosaurs and humans live side by side and Noah ushered raptors onto the Ark.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:03 AM
I thought it was okay. Basically a live action movie of Family Guy.
This made the story for me. I hope when your friend slammed the door on her he turned around and said “Clever Girl”.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:03 AM
Federer up 3-0 in 4th set…3 gamescaway from the finals.. Looks better than he has the past 2 years.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:05 AM
See, the problem isn’t that she’s conservative. It’s that it defines her conversations and outward personality. Like, most of what she wanted to discuss was politics. And even when we were talking about something else, somehow she got in a conservative quip. I can’t do that. I need a chick who just wants to shoot the shit, not get all worked up about crap.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:05 AM
It’s a feel good crowd pleaser!
/Puppy cut her foot and is hopping along, that’s hard to look at
//Not going to watch a movie about puppy Auschwitz
July 6th, 2012 at 10:05 AM
See, I could never kick a girl out for that. If anything, I’d be more determined to get her to sleep with me, easiest seduction ever.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:05 AM
Anyone else on day 7 without electricity? 100 and 80%+ humidity today and 103 tomorrow. Fuck you, American Electric Power. Fuck you right in your cold, air conditioned buttholes.
I have family in MD – it was 96 degrees in the top floor of their house.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:05 AM
So the other option is what? Find homes for 80,000 dogs people don’t want?
July 6th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
Love DD donuts. Hate DD coffee.
/ Team Community Coffee
July 6th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
Did she matriculate in Louisiana?
July 6th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Nada, im other way around, i get my coffee there and go to the local donut shop two storefronts down to get homemade donuts
July 6th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
I’m lolling on myself after comments 100 and 101.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
That’s not the point. The point is there are 80,000 dogs that will be put to sleep. That’s a lot of dogs.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
That story sounds very Tucker Max to me. Probably he once wrote about a girl crapping the bed during anal and how it made him barf.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
somehow, reading posts 100 and 101 back-to-back was very unsettling.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
Jesus, Jose, that’s a fucking grody story.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:11 AM
the point is you need to link a picture of your big tittied baptist girlfriend.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
I read that book probably 7-8 years ago and that’s one of the stories I will not forget. Fucking her in the ass, pulls out, she shits on his dick, he barfs on her back, his buddy filming the sex in the closet falls through the door and barfs, she barfs, she slips getting out of bed on the barf before running out wrapped only in barf sheets.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
Extremely rare in Canada, never heard anyone ever mention anything close to that stupid. In his words “I can’t Bergin, there is no way. I love dinosaurs”
/There was a great deal of drinking involved
//It was awesome
July 6th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
Based on number of people in the country? Based on what? That doesn’t seem like a lot to me. 80,000 dogs in a warehouse is a lot of dogs. In a country it doesn’t seem so.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
Djokovic is rattled as hell
July 6th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
Nobody listens to Bob Barker/Drew Carey
July 6th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
One thing I love about the Dallas area is all the donut shops that are simply called “Donuts.” Well, maybe they’re called something else, but I just see the big marquee sign that says “Donuts” and don’t need to see anything else.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
I got nothing man. I tried to think of some clever Google search for a well-known conservative chick who’s got fake boobs, but I failed. I’m not her friend on Facebook.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Dutch Monkey donuts are sinfully good.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Ive gone to church my whole life and never met anyone who believed the dinosaurs/ark thing. Then again, ive stayed aeay from the uber fundamentalist and uber strict cnservative places
July 6th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
I doubt it’s a unique experience. How many non-pornstars get enemas or colon cleansings before butt-sex? Probably less than there should be, especially when they’re 16 year old virgins. At the very least, they should make sure they’ve evacuted recently beforehand. Even then though, I don’t think I could do it. Nothing on God’s green earth is worse than shit to me.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:15 AM
You’re over-contextualizing. Who cares what it’s based on? 80,000 of anything is a lot.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:15 AM
YOU SUCK
Well, it’s a character study of a person who sees himself as a martyr and has done it for so long, he’s slowly crippled himself socially and through addiction to cope with it. It’s a broader study of America’s professed love for (purebred) dogs but looks away at all these kennel dogs. As you can imagine, animal control officers really see a wide range of crazies in their daily routines so it moves along. But in the end, its a story of redemption.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:16 AM
Oh, wow. There’s no way that happened.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:16 AM
a heated Friday morning in the comments.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:17 AM
Based on the noise coming from my surrounding neighbors’ dogs, those 80,000 are housed right back here.
/I love dogs. I hate some dog owners.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:17 AM
Context determines if it’s a lot.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:18 AM
Can I get a motion to strike “uber” from ever being used anywhere ever again?
Thanks. That is all.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:19 AM
Tucker Max is the worst human alive and in no fucking way did most of the things in his book happen.
You anal sex amateurs disgust me.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:19 AM
Sounds awesome, scripty.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:20 AM
The Aristocrats!
July 6th, 2012 at 10:20 AM
Just Google “Fox News” and “blonde”.
You’re welcome.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:20 AM
not really.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:20 AM
Squawk, how dare you want to get rid of a fine german word! Asshole!
/der kaiser’d
July 6th, 2012 at 10:20 AM
Ubermensch says NEIN!
/those of the slave herd morality can follow the motion
July 6th, 2012 at 10:21 AM
That’s an uber-reaction.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:21 AM
The research #’s are hard to come by. But for scale, there are some small market pro sports teams that euthanize 40-50k dogs a year.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:21 AM
It’s blocked at work or I’d link you, but I believe if you type “Tucker Max barf story” into Google, it is the first link that comes up to his Web site.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:21 AM
Is it a don’t-knock-it-’til-you-try-it thing? I have no interest, personally.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
Like most things that can go wrong quickly I recommend being drunk.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
I see this is going nowhere.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
Ive never heard of tucker max and will never be looking up his stuff after reading that blurb above.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
Maybe not, but I laughed like hell when I first read that story, even though I despise Tucker Max.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
/I love dogs. I hate some dog owners.
pretty much.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
I’m really, really confused.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
OWAIT! I see what you did there!
July 6th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
Mr C. doesn’t like pitching it in the butt and doesn’t mind a little dogocaust every now and then, I don’t think I’d get along with this guy.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Anal sex? Ewww gross
/sportsgal
July 6th, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Nobody Likes a Quitter > That Tucker Max book
July 6th, 2012 at 10:25 AM
Knew a big tall guy (roommate’s brother). Had a pixie-ish girlfriend. One of those Hayden P-Kirlishko (sic) brother type situations. She had to go to the hospital and have her large intestine or colon fixed from all that. Awkward conversation for her to tell her parents, I presume.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:25 AM
You’re just gonna quit like that? C’mon!
July 6th, 2012 at 10:26 AM
The Aristocrats!
Always a winner.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:27 AM
I don’t want to be like this guy.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:27 AM
i was under the assumption that the right had more kids…not a whole lot of urban liberals toting around a huge brood.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:29 AM
And let us never speak of Djokovic being better than Federer or Nadal ever again.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:29 AM
YES! RFED!!!
July 6th, 2012 at 10:30 AM
Federer wins!
July 6th, 2012 at 10:31 AM
That’s because liberals aren’t terrified that an old white man with a long beard will strike them dead from his perch in the clouds if they use birth control.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
So … this means Federer’s back, right?
/ Tiger’d
July 6th, 2012 at 10:33 AM
Spencer, yes, conservatives tend to have more kids but there are still some people who believe sex is only for reproduction purposes and it isnt necessarily for pleasure. Then you get the conservative women who are repressed and married to the domineering men who stifle any expressions of desire from the woman. It only matters what the guy wants and not what she wants.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:34 AM
Djoker has won 10 of the last 15 vs Nadal. He’s closing that gap pretty quickly.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:35 AM
If you believe that link in the Roundup, those are also the guys getting and giving blowjobs in public restrooms.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:37 AM
So this thread has featured conservative blowjobs, donuts, tennis and anal.
What it needs now is golf.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:37 AM
I always hate when I’m watching porn and they switch to anal. I can’t fast forward if they go back to vag or oral cause I can’t stop myself from thinking about how it was just in the chicks rectum. I’m probably too repressed, but it is what it is. If I see a rimjob I’m pretty much done with watching porn for a couple hours.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:39 AM
i was making a philosophical joke…there are many parallels to having too many kids that you can’t financially or emotionally support and bush invading iraq while giving tax cuts to the wealthy while already funding one war in afghanistan. or rich dad reagan throwing a bunch of money at his kids so he doesn’t have to do any real parenting.
but all i want is for president dad to let me smoke pot in my room, damnit.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
TIGAH.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
Ohh ok.. I guess my nonpothead humor sensor doesnt match up with your pothead sense of humor. We’re all good
July 6th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
Who needs beejs from random dudes when you have all the fundie women giving up anal to preserve their virginity?
/just crossed the streams
July 6th, 2012 at 10:42 AM
/ Ron Paul’d
July 6th, 2012 at 10:43 AM
What it needs now is golf.
I’m playing in less than 2 hours. It’s like 96 degrees out so I am hoping the course is vacant and I can get a 3 hour round in. Playing the best golf of the year right now.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:44 AM
you just gotta get to my level, son.
/rolls doobie
July 6th, 2012 at 10:44 AM
Ray, when a conservative female asks if you’re into anal, you say YES!
July 6th, 2012 at 10:44 AM
scripty…we gotta get a round in dude. where you playing today?
July 6th, 2012 at 10:48 AM
TIGAH.
he got his 1.5 million for showing up. Let’s see if he can make the cut.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:51 AM
scripty…we gotta get a round in dude. where you playing today?
well, today I am just screaming over to Highland Blue (about 5 minutes for me) to get a round in. We can set up a weekend date here at somepoint soon.
I go over there on THUR and FRI as my kids have lunch/naps here at my works daycare from 1-3 so I am done at 1230 ish on FRI, so I run over there, play a round, then come back and pick them up. There was a 630am round at Sleepy on 7/4 I am kicking myself for not taking.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:54 AM
highland blue…well, if you’re going there, at least you’re playing the blue. that place is only a few mins away from me as well…we could do something after work too.
i love sleepy so much. you shouldve taken it. that might be a top 5 course in our area, country clubs included.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:58 AM
I’ll check my calendar for the July weekends and I’ll email or tweet you some dates sometime this weekend.
July 6th, 2012 at 10:58 AM
sounds good dude.
July 6th, 2012 at 11:03 AM
The Greenbriar courses are tougher than they look on TV. To be honest, I haven’t played the Old White.
July 6th, 2012 at 11:10 AM
The Greenbriar courses are tougher than they look on TV. To be honest, I haven’t played the Old White.
I looked a few years ago and they charged Pebble prices.
July 6th, 2012 at 11:11 AM
i played with a guy who had just come back from a week on a golf trip there…played all the courses on the property and said it was an absolutely fantastic experience.
July 6th, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Did anyone here watch First Take today? It may have been the first time I have ever watched that show and truly enjoyed it. Isreal Gutierez and Bomanti Jones actually had arguments that were vivid, and well thought out, not based on baiting, yelling screaming and using old tired espn approved narratives. And what was even better, they way they made Rob Parker look like a fool every time he opened his unintelligent non sensical mouth. I know it was just a dream, but boy I wish this was the way the show always was, instead of with that blowhard SB and SAS. I might turn in more often