European soccer fans are understandably distracted right now. Every four years, the continent gets even soccer-crazy-er than usual for the UEFA European Championship. While there are plenty of female fans, football crowds are still primarily male. The same goes for the men at home who gather in bars and around their home televisions to drink, cheer and drink and cheer for their home countries. In England, this means a lot of unappreciated wives. Thus, the male escort industry is throbbing, er, um, thriving. From The Sun:

Demand for male escorts has rocketed by 26 per cent since the tournament kicked off on June 8. And the number of men signing up as gigolos to cope with demand has risen by 11 per cent.

Martin hopes England go all the way so his diary stays booked up.

The 26-year-old, from Preston, says: “Football tournaments are to male escorts like Christmas is to super- markets — the business keeps us going for the rest of the year.”

British football fans are drunker than usual and almost completely ignore their ladies. Women aren’t just turning to gigolos because they’re being ignored, they’re also taking advantage of their distracted partners.

Martin, an escort for eight years, says: “I get quite a few new clients during these big football tournaments who book me because they realise their husbands are unlikely to question what they’ve been up to while the matches are on.

“They’re so wrapped up in the game that they just assume their partner is upstairs doing the ironing or out with her friends. They don’t concern themselves with finding out exactly where they’ve been.

“They make it easy for my clients as they’re not bombarded with questions when they get home.”

This should be a lesson to American football fans. If you keep making fun of soccer, their fans will fly over here and start male escort services for Fall weekends. You know it will work. It’s those damn accents.