Cameron James Taylor is a 21-year-old rent-a-cop who was recently hired to work at a junior high school in Santa Barbara, California. To seemingly celebrate the unbridled joy of his new gig, the jackass allegedly decided to break into the school’s memorabilia case and steal a Robin Ventura autographed baseball. Here’s how he was nabbed for the epic heist:

Sheriff’s Department spokesman Drew Sugars said deputies responded shortly after midnight Thursday to an alarm in the gymnasium at the school, 3700 Orcutt Road. When asked for identification, Taylor walked with deputies to his car. As he was bending over inside the vehicle, deputies saw a baseball in his jacket pocket that, upon closer inspection, featured an autograph by Ventura.

Let’s repeat that again: A Robin Ventura autographed baseball. As Busted Coverage points out, this astounding moron could have picked up a Ventura-signed ball on eBay for $40. That, my friends, is one glorious assclown.

[via Busted Coverage]