Brewers Closer John Axford Killed His Facial Hair
Milwaukee Brewers pitcher John Axford sent out a harrowing, succinct message on Twitter Wednesday night that simply read “#RIP” followed by an unsettling link to a photo of his deceased facial hair trimmings. The thoughtful, inventive fellow was kind of enough to arrange his follicle friends in a properly united manner — almost as if they never left his face — but ultimately without a true home. If the work of art at right isn’t hanging at the MoMA by next week, I’ll be colossally disappointed.
Axford was also kind enough to provide a humorously expressive four-step sequence of the removal process.
Between this “event” along with the note he left reporters after bolting the clubhouse to be with his wife, who was going into labor, he might just be the most entertaining MLB follow on Twitter.
Oakland’s Brandon McCarthy (@BMacCarthy32) and Miami’s Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) are also prominently in the mix for claim to that throne.
[via John Axford, Axford's Instagram]
Previously: John Axford Left An Awesome Hand Written Note In Lieu of Post-Game Interviews


- A.P. on Jalen Rose Leaving Numbers Never Lie, Jemele Hill in as New Co-Host
- The Wayne Fontes Safari on Jalen Rose Leaving Numbers Never Lie, Jemele Hill in as New Co-Host
- VladimirCrouton on Jalen Rose Leaving Numbers Never Lie, Jemele Hill in as New Co-Host
- beardown on Jalen Rose Leaving Numbers Never Lie, Jemele Hill in as New Co-Host
- Flaccid Indigestion on Jalen Rose Leaving Numbers Never Lie, Jemele Hill in as New Co-Host
2 Responses to “Brewers Closer John Axford Killed His Facial Hair”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.






May 24th, 2012 at 5:21 PM
Baseball still sucks.
May 24th, 2012 at 5:25 PM
We get it, he trimmed the under garments. Now where are the fucking dong pics?