Dwight Howard’s Summer of Fun is Rapidly Approaching
After the Olympics and college football realignment, Dwight Howard’s Decision will be the sports story of the summer. The new Magic center slash CEO is rumored to want out of Orlando. Does he want to go to Brooklyn to play with Deron Williams? How about Dallas? Can he finagle his way to the Knicks (hehe)? Hey, what about to the Lakers for Andrew Bynum!
Wait. Hol’ up. Didn’t he say months ago that he’s staying in Orlando next year? The Magic begged him to stay, gave him carte blance, and Howard decided he wanted a new coach and a new GM. Done and done!
As the Dwight turns. The Magic roster is too FUBAR for him to stay, and any coach/GM will be just be D12′s puppet. Any way you slice it, Howard comes out looking awful. If he stays and they lose, it’s on him because he’s the boss and best player. If he leaves, he’s a jerk for ditching the strip mall capital of the world like Shaq did.
Cut your losses, Dwight. Have your deal ready and pull the trigger as soon as something big happens in the football world (or, wait for the week of July 4th, when the media’s at the beach). Take your talents to middle America. Perhaps Houston? There won’t be any pressure there. There never was on Yao, and Tracy McGrady got a yearly free pass despite never getting out of the first round. The Mavericks and Spurs are on the way down; you’ll be the King of Texas! Well, behind Josh Hamilton and Tony Romo.
Previously: Stan Van Gundy Fired By the Orlando Magic
Previously: Dwight Howard Quits Against the Knicks, Keeps Trying to Get Stan Van Gundy Fired
Previously: Dwight Howard Is Willing To Sit Out and Collect Paychecks Until Stan Van Gundy Is Fired
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May 23rd, 2012 at 7:16 PM
Dwight is a fucking twat.
/Sorry irish
//Is irish still on the interwebs?
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:17 PM
If the higher-ups in Orlando have any sense they will have this guy traded by the second week of July, so their new coach/GM can start totally fresh.
/But they don’t have any sense
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:17 PM
hey buckner,
tell Nick Johnson to never have that awful mustache again
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:23 PM
Got me. But Deadspin just linked CRM’s wraslin’ video and credited this site.
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:23 PM
Ha! Doesn’t he look like a complete pedophile of all-time? Guy looks like a mess.
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:24 PM
Also, good English, me, on that one. My point is, Nick Johnson looks like a dumpster fire. But the guy can still get on base.
But we still dropped the game today. The O’s marathon of 20 games in 20 days is finally over, though!
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:24 PM
Dwight to the Clips
/I’m coming for YYSA job
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:25 PM
He’s on the twitter machine and occasionally stops by here.
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:26 PM
It was a fun series. Glad Boston could take 2 of 3.
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:29 PM
I’m decidedly not pleased about the same fact, but meh. Between Wieters being ice cold, and Matusz shockingly being the only good start of the series, I’m not that upset. The O’s have to be exhausted at this point.
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:32 PM
Seeing what Baltimore did to Boston up at Fenway a couple weeks back, the Sox definitely needed at least 2 wins. Anything right now is gravy with all the outfield injuries the team has. Very grateful the bullpen has been pretty much fantastic the past 2 1/2 weeks.
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:33 PM
Can he finagle his way to the Knicks (hehe)?
+1 for “finagle”. But no. Not unless the Knicks are ready to ship Amar’e and Jeremy Lin.
And Dwight is like a teenage girl trying to pick which boy bander she wants most.
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:38 PM
Smoke weed erryday
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:38 PM
Broussard is reporting that Shaq (yes, fucking Shaq) is going to meet with the Magic owner for the GM job next week.
/ pukes
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:39 PM
If his work as an analyst is any indication, he’d be the worst fucking GM the league has ever seen.
/ “I am Dr. O’Neal…sure I traded Dwight Howard for Udonis Haslem, but that’s what CEOs do, they trade great but disruptive talent for old school guys”
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:40 PM
Yeah, the ‘pen seems to have gotten it’s feet back under it, much to my chagrin. I still maintain I’ll be beyond thrilled with 82 wins for the O’s. Trying to temper my expectations.
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:44 PM
Excuse me?
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:49 PM
I still think Billy King is a fucking joke. The NBA has to have the most laughable cast of GMs in any of the major sports, right?
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:52 PM
NBA
NHL
NFL
MLB
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:55 PM
I live 40 minutes east of Syracuse…yet the Nationals-Phillies game on ESPN2 is blacked out up here. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK?
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:58 PM
Beats me…but MLB’s blackout rules are full on stupid.
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:58 PM
Isiah at least drafted well in Toronto and a little in NY. McGrady, David Lee, Ariza, etc.
Shaq, solely based on his job as an analyst, would be disastrous. Every comment and trade would include lines about being a CEO, having a phD, and something someone “great” told him (i.e – “the great Bill Russell told me to trade big men for small point guards, so when someone like that tells you to make a trade, you have to do it”).
I also question whether he knows anything about finances, rules and regulations, and scouting. Former superstar players generally suck balls as analysts and GMs.
May 23rd, 2012 at 7:59 PM
Great job MLB/ESPN. You have the Nationals’ AAA team up in this area and people can’t watch the major league club on a weeknight. Makes no sense
May 23rd, 2012 at 8:00 PM
Without Bradley available tonight, Boston is going to need another big game from Bass and for Ray Allen to hit some huge shots
May 23rd, 2012 at 8:16 PM
GO FUCK YOURSELVES EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIPS! More viewers than the Super Bowl, but I hear NBA interest is through the roof.
May 23rd, 2012 at 8:28 PM
Devils taking the Rangers to pound town..
May 23rd, 2012 at 8:30 PM
Where is the meteor?
/fuck both teams
May 23rd, 2012 at 8:35 PM
Dwight Howard and Dwyane Wade should fight for title of NBA’s biggest douchebag.
May 23rd, 2012 at 8:41 PM
Sigh. At least the Tribe is tied with the Tigs.
May 23rd, 2012 at 8:56 PM
Close enough.
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:01 PM
carte blance
Close enough.
Babar – Carte Blance is a new designed wine that is being sold in the hipster market.
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:02 PM
That should be designer wine, but, eh, close enough.
/another joke falls flat.
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:04 PM
How was that a charge? Lou williams fell down/stumbled when Allen slightly bumped him.
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:10 PM
Ben Gordon and Charlie V. for Superdouche.
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:13 PM
Joey crawford calls another bogus charge? No way!
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:14 PM
Charlie V. for whoever
/vlad’d
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:14 PM
Nice to see the rangers show up..3-2 devils so far
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:18 PM
Former superstar players generally suck balls as analysts and GMs.
like, umm, let’s seee, hmmmm
michael jeffrey jordan?
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:18 PM
got sixers minus 1
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:22 PM
/ “I am Dr. O’Neal…sure I traded Dwight Howard for Udonis Haslem, but that’s what CEOs do, they trade great but disruptive talent for old school guys”
“you can call me the Big Dealer (shows cellphone tattoo)”
biiiig smile
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:22 PM
big ten basketball is fantastic!
whoops, this is the nba, my fault
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:23 PM
Hey JMac did you see this about the UCLA hoops “scandal”? That’s a LOT of scratch.
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:25 PM
Vinnie Pestano like whoa bitches!
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:28 PM
Jmac, boston and philly always play dirty, shitty games..even in regular season..but then Boston can go drop 110 on Miami in Miami and beat Miami by 25 in Boston
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:35 PM
Hell yes.
And Droob is just absolutely locked in.
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:37 PM
I almost feel bad for east coasters getting stuck with this garbage.
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:42 PM
Iggy just pwned Paul Pierce. Also, Paul Pierce is a bitch.
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:43 PM
A shame Bradley cant play tonight. Its painful to watch Ray Allen struggle on the bad ankle.
If philly could make free throws, they’d be up 10.
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:48 PM
SO MUCH THIS.
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:51 PM
Detective, this Tiger appears to of been beaten to death
/takes off sunglasses
It appears this kitty has fallen victim to PURE RAGE
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:56 PM
WINdians
May 23rd, 2012 at 9:57 PM
The Etroit Tigers… There is no D in the Motor City right now.
May 23rd, 2012 at 10:10 PM
Detective, this Tiger appears to of been beaten to death
/takes off sunglasses
It appears this kitty has fallen victim to PURE RAGE
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
This Tribe team is a like the booze I drank in college. Cheap, probably gonna burn me tomorrow but fun as hell right now.
May 23rd, 2012 at 10:12 PM
The only guy that can hit threes right now for boston doesnt even get to play unless it is garbage time. Free Pavlovic!
May 23rd, 2012 at 10:20 PM
The only Dwight Howard story I could tolerate is him being forcibly made to go murping whitney houston.
May 23rd, 2012 at 10:28 PM
murping whitney houston
Do not think NBA Inside stuff would show Dwight Howard murping whitney houston.
Do not watch dwight howard murping whitney houston even though it has fantastic Rick Roll/2 girls one cup potential.
May 23rd, 2012 at 10:31 PM
Goal, Devils.
May 23rd, 2012 at 10:38 PM
Well, here comes game 7…its on saturday so it gives boston an extra day to rest Allen and Bradley
May 23rd, 2012 at 10:39 PM
Devils win..boooooo
May 23rd, 2012 at 10:42 PM
Really wanted the C’s to close out tonight.
May 23rd, 2012 at 10:43 PM
cha ching
May 23rd, 2012 at 10:48 PM
No shit, Rangers blew their wad the first 70% of the third period. Hopefully they can win Game 6. It’s not like it matters much, Kings will roll whomever comes out of the East.
May 23rd, 2012 at 11:35 PM
Jesus Fucking Christ there are far too many Indians fans on here.
May 23rd, 2012 at 11:35 PM
Wow.
May 24th, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Agreed.
May 24th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
Is any of this true? Seems very doubtful that McGrady got a free pass – it’s synonymous with his name every time he’s mentioned. The Mavs won the title LAST YEAR, the Spurs are the #1 seed two years running and are the current favorites for the title.
Man, TBL be mailing shit in. Pathetic.