And yes, the word “obviously” is in italics because we’re not being serious. Unless the Heat lose game four and Wade throws a punch at Spoelstra instead of just telling him to get the fuck out of his face! But in the event the Heat lose the series and decide it might be time to nuke the nucleus – probably an irrational decision, given the injury to Chris Bosh, which completely changed the series, but hey, this is what the internet does! – here are some decent ideas you came up with:

* D Wade to New Jersey in a sign-and-trade for Deron Williams.
Scary to think about what the pick-and-roll with LeBron and D-Will might look like. Williams is a career 35 percent 3-point shooter. Wade is only at 29 percent. Heat would have a top 3 point guard, top 3 small forward, top 10 big man (Bosh).

* D Wade to LA for Andrew Bynum.
If LeBron and Wade are duplicating efforts, wouldn’t Kobe and Wade? Don’t know that Bynum has done himself any favors this postseason – talent’s there, but all the other stuff doesn’t appear to be.

* D Wade, Mario Chalmers & Miami’s 1st round pick for Dwight Howard and Jameer Nelson
The ESPN Trade Machine says Nelson can’t be dealt, but Wade & Chalmers for Howard works. Not sure why you’d want to pair Bosh and Howard and leave the Heat with no backcourt …

* D Wade, Norris Cole & Miami’s 1st round pick to Portland for Wesley Matthews, a sign & trade with Jamal Crawford, and a lottery pick (6 or 11, potentially)
Should this silly scenario actually play out (I can’t see the Heat trading Wade), Portland will definitely be in the mix. It has two lottery picks and a surfeit of shooters. Portland would have Aldridge, Wade, Batum and a lottery pick to build around. The Heat wouldn’t get a third star, but they’d get valuable role players, which might be a wise alternative.

* D Wade to the 76ers for Jrue Holiday, Thaddeus Young and two reserves (to make salaries come close)
Philly is an intriguing landing spot because the 76ers lack a closer. Wade’s a closer. How does a lineup of Evan Turner, Wade, Iggy, Brand and Hawes strike you? You still have Lou Williams coming off the bench. Not sure Miami would be that interested in Holiday/Young, though. Holiday is a very nice up-and-coming point guard, but they have Chalmers and just drafted Cole. Young would be a nice reserve.

* D Wade and Mike Miller to Houston for Kevin Martin, Luis Scola and Kyle Lowry
Houston loves to get in the mix for stars, but can they put together a package for Wade? Is Lowry that much of an upgrade over Chalmers? Scola plays power forward just like Bosh. Martin gets hurt every year, though he can score in bunches.