John Tortorella Said 37 Words at His Postgame Press Conference
Rangers coach John Tortorella, to the surprise of no one, was a healing ray of sunshine following his team’s 3-2 loss to the Devils Wednesday night. The brief highlights? When asked if he could talk about the decision to sit Marian Gaborik to start the third, Torts replied “No. No.” But let’s be fair here, the guy has never really been one to opine on personnel decisions. When asked if he felt the effort was enough, the grizzled coach offered up another telling “No.” Got it.
If you had to list the top two items on Tortorella’s hate list, it’s safe to assume “conversation” would sit at the top, with “losing” right underneath.
The only human that’s been able to finagle a smile out of the coach is Pierre McGuire. Perhaps members of the media should begin throwing their questions into a hat and have Pierre read them aloud at press conferences.

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86 Responses to “John Tortorella Said 37 Words at His Postgame Press Conference”
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May 17th, 2012 at 10:50 AM
I loved how in the presser, he looked around as if he wanted questions, only to not answer said questions.
May 17th, 2012 at 10:52 AM
I’d rather a guy just answer the questions honestly. Darryl Sutter, when asked about Doan’s hit on Lewis from game 2 said “Doan’s hit, Lewis was turning back. It was more a hockey play. I don’t have a big problem with that.”
Torts would have spun it into the worst hit in the history of the league. His schtick gets tiresome.
May 17th, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Rangers aren’t winning this series if they don’t get more from him. Guy’s been a ghost for most of the playoffs.
May 17th, 2012 at 10:54 AM
His schtick gets
tiresomebetter every day.May 17th, 2012 at 10:58 AM
Journalists asks the dumbest questions. “how big of a win is this” “how big of a loss is this” “can you bounce back” “talk about (fill in the blank)”. However, if I was a journalist, I would stop going to his press conferences. Clearly you’re not getting anything of substance, so why ask him these questions and allow him to demean you in front of your peers.
May 17th, 2012 at 10:58 AM
Press should just not ask any questions next time. Let him sit there for 30 seconds, then get up and let the players come in. They’ll actually say something.
May 17th, 2012 at 10:59 AM
what a maroon
and, goddammit black coffe and a chunky peanut butter sandwich is food of the gods
May 17th, 2012 at 10:59 AM
What a dipshit. The attitude of Belichick with the pedigree of Rex Ryan.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:01 AM
More entertaining than Boeheim
May 17th, 2012 at 11:02 AM
Completely agree.
And it’s not like this is new for Tortorella, either. He’s been doing since this sort of stuff since he coached in Tampa (….it’s just that no one cared then).
May 17th, 2012 at 11:02 AM
and, goddammit black coffe and a chunky peanut butter sandwich is food of the gods
/team smooth peanut butter
May 17th, 2012 at 11:02 AM
… with a ring to back it up.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:03 AM
You act like that is a hard thing to accomplish, Lima.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Get it in now. Torts will be out as Rangers coach no later than 2015. He has a shelf life.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:05 AM
My mistake. With the pedigree of Larry Coker.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:06 AM
Im pretty sure John is now the current most famous UMaine alum ever
Woah woah woah.. Rex has NOT won a SB (as a head coach)
May 17th, 2012 at 11:07 AM
the titans? cuz im pretty sure zeus and his clan o’ inbreds only ate calzones.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:07 AM
He seems like a fun guy.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:08 AM
the titans? cuz im pretty sure zeus and his clan o’ inbreds only ate calzones.
Nah brah. Ambrosia.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:08 AM
Bold statement considering the average NHL head coaching tenure is like 3 years.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:09 AM
Hockey wise, that’s gotta be Paul Kariya.
/pretty sure he went to Maine
//so did Islander GM Garth Snow
May 17th, 2012 at 11:10 AM
this guy is the perfect coach for the NYR. fucking prick.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:10 AM
However, if I was a journalist, I would stop going to his press conferences.
Completely agree.
and you;re both fired for not doing your job
May 17th, 2012 at 11:10 AM
and, goddammit black coffe and a chunky peanut butter sandwich is food of the gods
Crunchy PB is so fucking gross to me. Also, if you have PB&J, a tall glass of milk is a necessity.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:11 AM
Rex Ryan won a Super Bowl and I missed it? Shit!
May 17th, 2012 at 11:11 AM
Tortorella is like Ken Hitchcock. Or Scott Skiles for NBA people. He pushes his players to the brink and they buy into his system for a few years. Eventually, they don’t hear him anymore.
I hope this happens with Joel Quenneville next year. Unfortunately, he’s not quite as demanding as Tortorella. Which is odd for an old relic like Q.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:11 AM
Get it in now. Torts will be out as Rangers coach no later than 2015. He has a shelf life.
Agreed, but he won’t be out of work for long. He’s an excellent coach, regardless of his media act.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:13 AM
Eh. I would DVR Torts’ presser on the NHL network and watch it later. It’s not like Torts is actually saying anything. By going to someone, anyone, relevant to the event who will answer questions and give quotes, I’d be maximizing my time at the event by getting quotes germane to an actual angle or game story.
Journalists make enough to own a DVR, right?
May 17th, 2012 at 11:14 AM
He also takes the heat off his players by being an unapologetic dick. I’m sure it’s appreciated.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:14 AM
I think I’d rather be a garbageman than a sports journalist. Follow around athletes who clearly have nothing but disdain for you. Having to over laugh anytime an athlete makes a “joke”. Get embarrassed in front of your peers by guys like Tortorella. No thanks.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:14 AM
You can probably throw Lavvy or a guy like Claude Julien in there too.
I don’t know how Barry Trotz has hung around for so long.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:16 AM
Torts should just play this song at every press conference and just sit there with that hot, smug look on his face.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:16 AM
And this is why I don’t understand people who get on twitter and torture beat reporters. I don’t want their job.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:16 AM
He also takes the heat off his players by being an unapologetic dick. I’m sure it’s appreciated.
Except those times when he’s also an unapologetic dick to the players.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:17 AM
I kinda like the guy. Doesn’t seem to really get into the BS that is the media circus.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:18 AM
Dissappointed in Canada’s result this morning at the World Championships. I’m shocked* that a team assembled by Kevin Lowe failed to deliver.
*not shocked
May 17th, 2012 at 11:18 AM
Yeah I didnt phrase that correctly. Meant current, as in currently in the public eye.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:19 AM
Lindy Ruff too. Trotz fits a system in Nashville. They weren’t big spenders up until this year really. Be interesting to see how he operates with a bit bigger payroll. Higher expectations will be there for sure. He’s never advanced to the Conference Finals to this point.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:19 AM
/team smooth peanut butter
You are doing it all wrong. Chunky PB is orgasmic stuff.
/realizes I might be doing sex wrong
May 17th, 2012 at 11:19 AM
cmon cap…you know im not a pro-union guy.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:19 AM
sg, dd you just call torts hot? sure, a hot stork
creamy pb is for the weak. if you;re grossed out by the chunks of peanuts in chunky pb, realize that they both have the same amount of rat poop and insect parts. maybe that’s the crunch you don;t crave
May 17th, 2012 at 11:21 AM
They weren’t big spenders up until this year really.
Still well in the bottom 10 in terms of cap payroll. I don’t expect their budget to increase substantially either.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:25 AM
I don’t know how Barry Trotz has hung around for so long.
Cause people love him. And like dewar said, its a system and they just now started spending after a few successful runs (making the playoffs). This year was a disappointment, as they should’ve won that series. Just like Fisher, you never thought they would run him off, but with success and money comes accountability, and sometimes fans unrealistic expectations.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:25 AM
creamy pb is for the weak. if you;re grossed out by the chunks of peanuts in chunky pb, realize that they both have the same amount of rat poop and insect parts. maybe that’s the crunch you don;t crave
Then call me weak, because I prefer smooth/creamy whatever you want to call it, peanut butter. I don’t care for the texture of crunchy. Crunchy and creamy are not textures that should go together in my opinion.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:26 AM
I don’t expect their budget to increase substantially either.
If they want to keep the big 3 they will. Raduov may bounce again. Suter will probably be a Wing. As long as Weber stays I think they’ll be in good shape.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:27 AM
Crunchy and creamy are not textures that should go together in my opinion.
So you don’t like mint choc chip ice cream or anything similar?
May 17th, 2012 at 11:27 AM
He’s gone. It’s a disgrace how he’s treated that franchise.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:29 AM
/team PB is fantastic
//cruchy or creamy
May 17th, 2012 at 11:29 AM
If they want to keep the big 3 they will. Raduov may bounce again. Suter will probably be a Wing. As long as Weber stays I think they’ll be in good shape.
They’ll move Radulov rather than sign him to a lengthy extension. The announcement from the KHL last week could provide him with serious incentive to go back to Russia.
Suter is a goner. I anticipate them moving his negotiation rights at the draft.
Weber is more of a wildcard. They have his rights for one more year, need to sign him long-term.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:29 AM
don’t start this again…there are idiots who comment here who think that mint chocolate chip ISN’T the greatest ice cream of all time in history ever.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:29 AM
So you don’t like mint choc chip ice cream or anything similar?
Hmmm, good point. I honestly hadn’t thought of it in terms of ice cream.
Maybe it’s just that I don’t like crunchy peanut butter.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:30 AM
don’t start this again…there are idiots who comment here who think that mint chocolate chip ISN’T the greatest ice cream of all time in history ever.
Picking a favorite ice cream flavor is to me like picking a favorite movie, a favorite scotch, a favorite beer, a favorite sexual position….I can’t pick just one, so I don’t.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:31 AM
Sat in the 2nd row for this game last night. Amazing seats and awesome game. Sucks the Rangers lost but I got to walk by some Rangers fan laying out a Devils fan on the corner of 33rd street after the game, so that eased some of the pain.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:31 AM
that’s because your conviction is almost as weak as your handshake.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:32 AM
This guy knows what he’s talking about. However, there are about 20 million better flavors than mint chocolate chip.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:32 AM
Complete fucking idiots.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:32 AM
i’,m not disagreeing with either dear or kaiser about the pressers being a waste of time. just that your bosses at Imaginary Tribune would look askance at your mutiny
May 17th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Picking a favorite ice cream flavor is to me like picking a favorite movie, a favorite scotch, a favorite beer, a favorite sexual position….I can’t pick just one, so I don’t.
Now we agree on something.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Goes along with that whiny little bitch persona he’s crafted.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
that’s because your conviction is almost as weak as your handshake.
Spencer, if I ever meet you in person, I will certainly be stinkpalming you. Just FYI.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
list them please.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Goes along with that whiny little bitch persona he’s crafted.
Quiet, Chewbacca.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Just a heads-up: there’s a rather large pic in the middle of the next post that’s barely SFW.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:34 AM
ive never understood the logic behind the stinkpalm…unknowingly shaking poop hands is not nearly as bad as willingly sticking your hand in your ass.
/stinkslaps ms621 across the face
May 17th, 2012 at 11:34 AM
This guy knows what he’s talking about. However, there are about 20 million better flavors than mint chocolate chip.
I tried the Schweddy Balls flavor at Ben and Jerry’s last weekend. Not one of their best efforts.
/Team Half Baked
May 17th, 2012 at 11:36 AM
Americone Dream isn’t half bad itself. I enjoy the Half Baked. Also like One Sweet Whirled and Phish Food.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:37 AM
ive never understood the logic behind the stinkpalm…unknowingly shaking poop hands is not nearly as bad as willingly sticking your hand in your ass.
I’ll let Mallrats handle this one.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:37 AM
Or Mack Brown.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:38 AM
Then call me weak,
i’m downgrading you to flaccid
May 17th, 2012 at 11:38 AM
I’ll let Mallrats handle this on
That goddamn kid is back on the escalator again!
Jason Lee kills it in the movie.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:39 AM
Thanks for the warning. Guess I wont go in that post.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:40 AM
Oh and I also almost bumped into Kate Upton leaving MSG last night. Anyone on here who has spoken a negative word about her should be tarred and feather. Stunning in person.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:40 AM
Weber is more of a wildcard. They have his rights for one more year, need to sign him long-term
This would crush the franchise, into oversigning a washed up “star” to appease fans. (looking at you Paul Kariya/Peter Forsberg)
I’d like to see a young star come though.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:40 AM
why’d they give the dude from futureweapons the stink palm?
May 17th, 2012 at 11:41 AM
why’d they give the dude from futureweapons the stink palm?
Nice. That guy is kind of a cartoon.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:41 AM
“A small price to pay for the smiting of one’s enemies”….
/still can’t see the hidden picture
May 17th, 2012 at 11:45 AM
You’ll be missing out on some in-depth, thought-provoking analysis of tonight’s game, but a big fat Brazilian ass won’t show up on the middle of your screen as your co-worker walks by.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:45 AM
“were here testing out the new .50 caliber pastemaker…but what if you need to…/unnecessary hand gesture…think outside the box?”
May 17th, 2012 at 11:51 AM
“were here testing out the new .50 caliber pastemaker…but what if you need to…/unnecessary hand gesture…think outside the box?”
Some of the people on the show with him look like they are barely stifling laughter at that guy’s mannerisms. He’s so ridiculously intense, it’s amusing.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:53 AM
you ever watch deadliest warrior? he’s FANTASTIC on there…esp breaking down tactics.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:54 AM
Who cares?
May 17th, 2012 at 11:55 AM
In a row?
May 17th, 2012 at 11:57 AM
you ever watch deadliest warrior? he’s FANTASTIC on there…esp breaking down tactics.
I haven’t, but I might need to start doing so.
May 17th, 2012 at 11:57 AM
In a row?
[makes audibly loud sucking noises]
May 17th, 2012 at 11:58 AM
#humblestbrag
May 17th, 2012 at 12:29 PM
If he hasn’t re-signed with Nashville by July 1st you can bet your ass he will be. Same goes for Parise.