Roundup: Kentucky Derby Ratings Up, Video of the Beastie Boys on Chappelle’s Show & John Travolta’s Massage Mystery
Ashley Greene … the man who hacked Hollywood … Nebraska man changes his name to Tyrannosaurus Rex … the unemployment rate without government cuts … Sofia Vergara is single … “Two dead dolphins ‘forgot to breathe’ after taking heroin substitute following zoo’s weekend-long rave” … reporters take down corrupt sheriff … Jon Hamm is funny … the “contiguous U.S” had its 3rd hottest April since 1895 … RIP Maurice Sendak … the time the Beastie Boys appeared on Chappelle’s Show (it never aired) … taking Oddball rides to the Prom … Dustin Hoffman saved the life of a jogger who had a heart attack … why would anyone hire an evil clown? … school bake sales in jeopardy? …
TV ratings for the Kentucky Derby were … up? [Bloodhorse]
Dorian Finney-Smith, who was Virginia Tech’s most important recruit in years and made the ACC’s all-freshman last season, is transferring. [Daily Press]
Devils beat the Flyers 3-1, eliminating Philadelphia from the playoffs. [Star Ledger]
The 10 freakiest college football athletes for next season. [CBS Sports]
Here’s a puzzling column about how the Bulls won’t look the same next year … because they have decisions to make about Korver, Brewer and Watson? Ok. [Tribune]
A male masseur is alleging John Travolta “groped him and tried to force a happy ending during a private massage in an Atlanta hotel room.” [NYDN]
Here’s an interview with Leonard Armato of Leverage Agency. [Sports Agent Blog]
“Man allegedly urinates on $3,000 worth of jeans in Huntington clothing store.” [Daily Mail]
Three Texas football players – including potential 1st round pick Alex Okafor – were detained briefly for failing to leave an Austin drinking establishment in a timely manner. [ESPN]
“Elderly OKC Man Accused Of Talking Dirty To 911 Operators.” [News 9]
Here are two raccoons having sex.
DeAnthony Thomas, the Oregon running back, has some wheels.
For the Jim Breuer fans.
Watch a baby Orangutan climb a fence for the first time.
- John Tortorella And a Ref Dropped F-Bombs On Live TV During the Rangers-Bruins Game [Video]
- LeBron James and Paul George’s Epic Game 1 Battle Looks Even Cooler in Slow Motion [Video]
- Manchester City Players Were Super Excited To Catch Passes From Eli Manning [Video]
- Miami Heat Remix of Pitbull’s “Feel This Moment?” Dále!
- Buffalo Bills Fan Has O.J. Simpson Mug Shot Tattoo on His Thigh
- orly57 on John Tortorella And a Ref Dropped F-Bombs On Live TV During the Rangers-Bruins Game [Video]
- yorwifesahor on Buffalo Bills Fan Has O.J. Simpson Mug Shot Tattoo on His Thigh
- Nada on Fox Sports 1 Heavily in Pursuit of Former NFL Player Trevor Pryce and ESPN Chicago's Sarah Spain
- Nada on Fox Sports 1 Heavily in Pursuit of Former NFL Player Trevor Pryce and ESPN Chicago's Sarah Spain
- A.P. on Buffalo Bills Fan Has O.J. Simpson Mug Shot Tattoo on His Thigh
223 Responses to “Roundup: Kentucky Derby Ratings Up, Video of the Beastie Boys on Chappelle’s Show & John Travolta’s Massage Mystery”
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May 9th, 2012 at 8:08 AM
Only Hamm can pull off blackface
May 9th, 2012 at 8:09 AM
“the unemployment rate without government cuts”
So more government spending then? Four straight years of trillion dollar deficits isn’t enough?
May 9th, 2012 at 8:10 AM
I read this article the other day in GQ, very interesting how he hacked some of these “stars” emails, just using Gmail and popping in first/last names and trying to reset their passwords.
He was addicted to this like a crack whore, couldn’t get enough. I need something like this to overcome my porn addiction.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:12 AM
Nebraska man changes his name to Tyrannosaurus Rex
Congrats Husker! I know it was a long and arduous process.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:13 AM
A different take on the unemployment rate…
The Vanishing Workers
http://tinyurl.com/7cshel3
The only reason the unemployment rate has been dropping recently is due to folks giving up looking for work. The labor participation rate is lowest since 1981.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:13 AM
I heard/read something akin to this about Travolta over 2 years ago……there’s a little truth behind every lie.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:15 AM
TV ratings for the Kentucky Derby were … up?
I must not watch enough TV b/c I had no idea the race was approaching until Sat morning. I never saw the first commercial and I missed the whole thing.
/having a life is kinda good
May 9th, 2012 at 8:18 AM
Oh good, political tuesday morning! Shall we discuss gay marriage next? /goes back to bed
May 9th, 2012 at 8:19 AM
The Travolta thing is a little misleading. He offered to jerk off the first masseuse in the lawsuit after. At least he gives as much has he receives.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:20 AM
Maybe John Travolta should weigh in on this topic
May 9th, 2012 at 8:21 AM
Like a wild animal, just ignore it and it will go away.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:24 AM
watching the 60 minutes piece on the corrupt sherriff…oh the “good ol’ boys” in law enforcement.. Great journalism in this piece.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:24 AM
Oh good, political tuesday morning!
It’s Wednesday.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:26 AM
Instead of filming he should have been looking for a weapon to help lessen the next raccoon generation by one
BANJO!
May 9th, 2012 at 8:26 AM
First good news of the morning! Hoorah!
May 9th, 2012 at 8:30 AM
Deville set up his Evil Clown service in Lucerne, Switzerland, after being inspired by some of his favourite horror films – possibly including Stephen King’s It and Killer Klowns From Outer Space.
Seems like a reasonable service that parents would use to surprise their kids. Can see this ending poorly somewhere along the way.
/they float, Georgie, and when you’re down here with me, you’ll float, too
May 9th, 2012 at 8:31 AM
The only thing less shocking about Travolta would be to hear that he and Tom Cruise are butt buddies
May 9th, 2012 at 8:33 AM
who?
/google search
//a twilight actress?
///zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
May 9th, 2012 at 8:38 AM
Ugh. I can’t take it…
May 9th, 2012 at 8:39 AM
I always figured they get together with Vin Diesel, Ryan Seacrest, Eddie Murphy, Richard Gere, Kiefer Sutherland and Hugh Jackman get together in steam rooms.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:40 AM
Reading the Mike McQueary v Penn State whistleblower lawsuit article on ESPN.com… It’s extremely unfortunate to have a lawyer with the following last name – “McQueary’s attorney, Elliott Strokoff of Harrisburg, did not respond to a phone message at his office late Tuesday“
May 9th, 2012 at 8:41 AM
I thought this was a good article.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:41 AM
Hey- HEY! Kiefer is not gay, he’s just short and Canadian. And a drunk.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:42 AM
So disgusted by my home state right now.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:43 AM
As long as the Bulls get another white guy to replace Korver they’ll look the same.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:43 AM
something about those damn scientologists….
and CJ..which was worse last night – Flyers losing or watching fat waste Matt Albers blow another game?
/drinks on me!
May 9th, 2012 at 8:43 AM
6. Knile Davis, Arkansas, RB: Davis had the fastest 40-yard dash time on the team at 4.33, his pro agility test was a blazing 4.04. He also benched 415 pounds (fifth-best on the team), squatted 570 (3rd best on the team) and did a chin up totting 364 pounds (totting an extra 139 lbs. worth of weight attached to his frame.)
May 9th, 2012 at 8:44 AM
“2-2 automatic on my person”
Chappelle and Beasties Awesome. Fresh!
May 9th, 2012 at 8:45 AM
Between Sunday & Tuesday, I am kind of worn out from my sports teams. Thinking of focusing 100% of my energy on baby making instead.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:45 AM
I saw the Chappelle video on Sunday after Neal Brennan tweeted it out/posted it on YouTube. Dave looked like the happiest little kid in the world to be with those guys. Awesome.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:45 AM
Hockey experts, who would be a better matchup for the Devils in the ECF?
May 9th, 2012 at 8:46 AM
Yay talking points!
May 9th, 2012 at 8:46 AM
Go on…
/CJ’s husband’d
May 9th, 2012 at 8:47 AM
Haha…didn’t say they were gay, just lots of rumors that some like me and women, not necessarily at the same time.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:47 AM
good luck!
May 9th, 2012 at 8:47 AM
Scouser, I say the Capitals. Easier to shut down their sporadic offense and the young goaltender has to crack at some point.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
This is fucking awesome!
May 9th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
MEN! Not me! Damn iPad fail!
May 9th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
Mike Leach is the best.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
Have some friends “trying”. Seems to add some stress that takes some fun out of the whole process.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
the fuck is this in quotes for?
“they call themselves the ‘contiguous US’ but they’re full of shit…no way is nebraska landlocked.”
May 9th, 2012 at 8:50 AM
sure..whatever you say reggie…
/updates spreadsheet
May 9th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
It does get a bit more serious when you know youre trying to accomplish something. It’s like, ‘are we doing this right?’
May 9th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
if that is real, that is one of the funniest things I have seen in a while.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
Anyone else wake up at 4 and not fall back asleep despite trying?
/stab
May 9th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
Why is this Travolta stuff news? He got caught deep-throating that dude by the plane a few years ago.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
Red Sox dismal season may result in a population boom in New England, unfortunately.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
not necessarily a fan, but if it’s got breuer, kobayashi and coffee…im sold.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
The female I’m referring to catches babies for a living as well, so he stress level may not be standard.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:53 AM
Have some friends “trying”. Seems to add some stress that takes some fun out of the whole process.
/best 2 years of my life
May 9th, 2012 at 8:53 AM
I’ve golfed more the first 4 months of this year than I ever have. Thanks warm weather!!
May 9th, 2012 at 8:53 AM
Some couples give up when it doesn’t happen right away and then they get pregnant.
/Stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night
May 9th, 2012 at 8:53 AM
pssh…you should make something useful. like a ladder with cupholders.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
if that is real, that is one of the funniest things I have seen in a while.
From the DS article…
Update (11:07 p.m.): We’ve received confirmation from several people who witnessed Leach sign this book with the CJK5H.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
AP…I was up until 1am watching Minnesota Senate debate and vote on Vikings stadium. Not that I was up at 4 but I feel our pain after 5 hours of sleep.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
amen! i didn’t have 15 rounds of golf in until june last year.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Fuck this rain the past few weeks. Also other stuff. Can’t wait for my vacation in two weeks…gonna try to golf every day.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:55 AM
awesome…andre 3000 is gonna play hendrix in a movie.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:55 AM
There will always be a doubt in my mind that he may not have known what he was writing. I hope he did.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:55 AM
He only changed his first name from Tyler to T-Rex. Pfft. Way to half-ass it there Nebraska.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:55 AM
I’ll never understand the female body process. A friend of mine has been trying to get pregnant. She didn’t have her period when it was the normal monthly time. Pregnancy test was taken and it was a bit fuzzy but appeared positive. 3 days later, aunt flo came a-knockin’ so she’s not pregnant. I seriously appreciate the fact that I don’t have to go through that as a guy and I feel bad for women who deal with that crap.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
oh he knows…i loved in his reddit AMA when asked if he hates craig james, he responded “my opinion of craig james is no different than america. when dallas morning news polled who you’d vote for, i got 96.5% of the votes.”
May 9th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
whoa…crazy caterpillar.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
spencer, you’re supposed to save all bug picture links until SG gets here to freak out.
May 9th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
So it’s been 6-7 months for this couple and they’re getting some artificial help next month. It brought up the conversation as to when/if my Wife and I would use some kind of fertility treatment. I was in the “never” camp, but I don’t actually desire a child either …
May 9th, 2012 at 9:00 AM
I’m keeping track of how much I golf this year. I feel like I will be quite pleased with myself at the end of the year.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:00 AM
Those furry black caterpillars scare the hell out of me
May 9th, 2012 at 9:01 AM
reporters take down corrupt sheriff
I miss Justified.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:01 AM
Dude is doing all the work. You’re just laying there taking it.
Kidding, good luck don’t stress about it and it will happen.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
I miss Justified.
This.
Also, I’m worn out from Ashley Greene, TBL. Fresh meat
May 9th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
“Getting old is for pussies”
/Raylan’d
May 9th, 2012 at 9:03 AM
Whatever. As a married man I’ll take all the extra sex I can get, for a guy its always fun. I was glad it took like 4 or 5 months of “trying.”
May 9th, 2012 at 9:04 AM
AKA Blake Lively
May 9th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
hey TexansFan, did you give Jacoby Jones a swift kick in the ass on his way out of town?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
who would be a better matchup for the Devils in the ECF?
Capitals. With that said, the Rangers aren’t a bad matchup for them either.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
Good call on using contiguous. Any other description confuses people and causes arguments to happen.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
Have some friends “trying”. Seems to add some stress that takes some fun out of the whole process.
Scientific studies say that fertilization rates are directly related to male satifsfaction and dirty sex.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
Nice work by Jersey. They deserved it.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
I totally forgot about that! I was out of town when that happened. Good shit!!
May 9th, 2012 at 9:10 AM
I’m over 30 already.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
Royce Brook was a neat track. Slow, though. Could’ve gotten around in 3 hrs without the glacially-paced threesome in front of me.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
Kind of scared as to why contiguous US was in quotes.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
You know who else deep throats dudes? This guy.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Was he making that up on the fly?
/Jon Hamm is a legend.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
TF, I saw last night that he signed a 2 year deal with Baltimore.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Yup, been there. It’s like a roller coaster.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
April was warmer than March in most places, which is extremely odd. The past 12 months has featured some of the most extreme weather ever recorded.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Capitals. With that said, the Rangers aren’t a bad matchup for them either.
Don’t they have more firepower with Gaborik, Stal, and Richards? Devils played a solid forechecking series (not my analysis, that’s what Parise said), and I’m wondering if it would translate as well against the Rangers. They have a better goalie than Brzygalov, and Torts has them playing a defensive minded game.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
I bet I am close. since I’ve membered up I don’t always play a full 18, so I’m not sure how to count those. but I’ve been wearing the driving range out as well, especially at lunch.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
colder
May 9th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
blasphemer!
May 9th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
Spence and I on the same page, shocking.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
I don’t think it matters. I’ve watched a lot of the first two rounds and I think the NYR can be had.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
That was adorable.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
The Caps have Backstrom, Semin, Ovi, etc. They are no slouches, in the offensive fire power department.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:19 AM
Are you keeping track of cycles and all that? Thank God we didn’t have to do all that work.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
http://www.myfoxmemphis.com/dpp/news/local/bizarre-home-invasion-under-investogation-fso-20120507
Oof.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
The issue with Washington is you’re never sure if Semin and Ovi will give full effort on a given night
May 9th, 2012 at 9:21 AM
Hey residents of North Carolina – go fuck yourselves.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:21 AM
Yup, at first it was all casual, but 6-7 months later I’m at the point that I have my most fertile days highlighted and let my husband know in advance that it is ‘fun week’.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
To be fair, your state is the one who produced the allegedly liberal President who in private supports what just happened in my state.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
I haven’t gotten enough run out of my membership because I work an hour away from the house/course. Thankfully now that it’s May we have primetime evening sunlight for 4 months and I can tee off at 5-530 with no problems.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
Don’t they have more firepower with Gaborik, Stal, and Richards?
The Staal playing for the Rangers plays D (and according to one of the resident Hawks fans, isn’t worth his contract). Neither Rangers or Caps like to play an up tempo game, Devils forecheck will cause problems for both teams.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
That shit ain’t fun. It’s work. And work sucks.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Was this after the foot massage?
/Vincent Vega’d
May 9th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
They’ll be fine. I think Backstrom is a fantastic player, whom the Caps missed all year.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
Sad, sad state of affairs.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
Good luck. We were lucky. Just pulled the goalie, and 2 months later she was pregnant.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
What did I miss?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Have some friends “trying”. Seems to add some stress that takes some fun out of the whole process.
My wife likes to brag that she selected the sex of our three children based on ovulation cycle and “doin’ it” position.
I feel used.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Every time I hear talk about trying/working to have a baby, this movie clip pops into my head:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPXGowa6p3Y&feature=relmfu
May 9th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Have you ever given a foot massage?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Hmm, any pointers?
/wants a boy
May 9th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
foot massage or footjob?
/travolta’d
May 9th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
Apologies for that Youtube link. The funny part is blocked by an ad.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
Don’t be tellin’ me about foot massages. I’m the foot fuckin’ master.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
yeah, and I have oceanfront property in Kansas to sell you
May 9th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
Drive up to see me. Boys are practically guaranteed in my family.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
The issue with Washington is you’re never sure if Semin and Ovi will give full effort on a given night
Whichever teams signs Semin to a 5 year $27.5M contract over the summer is going to get a solid return on investment.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
The unemployment rate without excluding people who have “stopped looking” (Hopenchange) for work: 10.5%.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
I would say the same thing, but it would kind of be like the whole pot/kettle thing considering where I live, and some of the laws they have passed the past couple years.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
pssh…you should make something useful. like a ladder with cupholders.
my main ladder has all these holes and indentations in the top step. as the southern-gent husband of my mom likes to say, “handy as a pocket on a shirt”
May 9th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
In 15 years, we will be laughing at how dumb we are now.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
Anyone else wake up at 4 and not fall back asleep despite trying?
how’s in bed at 2, up at 630?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
would you give a guy a foot massage?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
I have a feeling MikeNYC would only be happy if all the brown people on Earth disappeared.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
North Carolinians voted to change the state constitution Tuesday to say that the only valid “domestic legal partnership” in the state is marriage between a man and a woman.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
Fuck you.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
Have some friends “trying”. Seems to add some stress that takes some fun out of the whole process.
It does, but once you find out you were successful, it goes back to normal. December 1 and my life changes forever.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
/popcorn, anyone?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
Or the country was like ancient Rome where the rich pissed on the poor.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
Yup, there was a vote to allow it here a year or so ago and it failed which surprised me but I had to remind myself that Madison and Milwaukee are surrounded by hill people in this state
May 9th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
R. Kelly for emperor!
May 9th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
I take offense to this. Is everyone required to toe the line because the president is brown?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
Luckily you’re young and have the energy. Boy toddlers are the absolute worst.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
I drink Cris, and you drink piss…
/Chappelle’d
May 9th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
Why is this Travolta stuff news? He got caught deep-throating that dude by the plane a few years ago.
hollywood is one big debaucheryburg of bisexual shenanigans. laurence olivier, rock hudson…when james dean was asked if he had sex with men, he replied ‘well, i don’t go around life with one hand tied behind my back’
mick jagger/rod stewart rumours. that whole makeup/glam 70s era. let’s experiment! i’m high you;re high, you;re here, i’m here..love the one you’re with
May 9th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
I think I found it. If it’s the gay marriage thing, why do you care what the residents of a state “overwhelmingly” vote on in their own environment? You don’t like it, don’t live there.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
oh hey look, Mike and Mike are in Cleveland today. Spencer, ever thought about being a hitman?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
I’d much rather deal with a boy toddler than a teenage girl.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
I’m laughing right now. In some fairness, most of the big city counties voted against Amendment 1, it was the religious right and (still shocking to me) the black vote in other areas that produced the wide margin. This will just further encourage republicans to put this kind of amendment on ballots in the future. There was a record primary turnout.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
Take offense all you want. He’s only half brown anyway.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
You know I’m kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Also, I’m worn out from Ashley Greene, TBL. Fresh meat
AKA Blake Lively
send her to this port for some repairs then
May 9th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Some people would think that. They are also the same assholes who run kid sports leagues where score isnt kept, and everyone gets a participation ribbon..
May 9th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Your twitter pic kinda frightens me. You would crush me.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Boy toddlers are the absolute worst.
This is an invalid statement. Boy toddlers are so so so much easier than girls.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Mick Jagger and David Bowie had to hook up. “Dancing in the Street” video should’ve received an NC-17 rating.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
mmhmm…
May 9th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Luckily you’re young and have the energy. Boy toddlers are the absolute worst.
how wide is that brush? the most exhausting of our three little ones is a girl
May 9th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Man, you best back off, I’m gettin’ a little pissed here.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Not shocking at all. The black vote is historically strongly anti gay rights.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
Look, do you want this boy or not?
/that’s as far as this joke will go
May 9th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
“Dancing in the Street” video should’ve received an NC-17 rating.
or for awkwardness. bowie trying to out-ham jagger is an all-time must see. the thin white duke, all classy and cheekboned, doing the rooster dance. so white
May 9th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
Luckily you’re young and have the energy. Boy toddlers are the absolute worst.
I’d much rather deal with a boy toddler than a teenage girl.
A thousand time THIS! I have 2.88 nieces, and that’s good enough for me.
Once again, Louis CK.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
1. I was raised in the that state
2. I’m not a bigot and believe people should live in ‘Merica how they choose to under equal protection from the law
3. I don’t think the flying spaghetti monster gives two shits about this issue
4. I think the argument for the “sanctity” of marriage is complete and utter bullshit.
5. Almost half of the people who voted didn’t even know what they were voting for, they just heard “durrrr gay marriage bad” and voted.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
You know I’m kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself.
Man, you best back off, I’m gettin’ a little pissed here.
ha! remember that commercial form the 90s, ends with a rich lady calling her manservant beef…”time to rub the bunyons!’
May 9th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
Hmm, any pointers?
/wants a boy
If you want a boy, your husband needs to be on the larger size or make sure he’s bangin’ you deep.
If you want a girl, the position needs to allow for bangin’ you not so deep.
She was also drinking something (particular fruit juice for the girl, and less/more coffee at one time). Acidity vs alkaline… Honestly, I didn’t care what the hell she did and paid no attention.
I wanted one of each. Our third was a bonus (planned). She quit birth control about a year before we really started trying and never went back on.
/has 2 boys and a girl.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
There aren’t enough links to the slow wank gif in the world right now.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
I know, that still shocks me.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
I hope to god we are having a boy. I don’t know how I could handle having a girl from ages 15 up.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
No no a million times no. 2 years of nanny duty/babysitting has lead me to this belief.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
Oh yeah – the good luck charm was mid flow bj’s every month. But then again, we’re superstitious.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
Guys, I would advise you to not take any advice from this guy.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
No no a million times no. 2 years of nanny duty/babysitting has lead me to this belief.
THIS is why you hate bratty kids so much.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
Boy toddlers might be little monsters, but teenage daughters are a million times worse.
/will never have children
May 9th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
You surprised? Race-baiting has always been on pg. 1 of the liberal playbook.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
given the previous explanation, does this qualify as a humblebrag?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:45 AM
Ahem, CJ.
/ok, last one, I promise
May 9th, 2012 at 9:45 AM
i think squawk’s advice is as likely as a great Lisk post getting prime position on a weekday
May 9th, 2012 at 9:45 AM
I’d say your kin at Faux Noise do a pretty good job of race baiting.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
I really, really, really, don’t care for our President. Chicken shit fake liberal.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
Don’t listen to a lot of conservative talk radio around the country, do you?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
i think squawk’s advice is as likely as a great Lisk post getting prime position on a weekday
I just spit all over my screen. That’s funny.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
All of this. I mean, I don’t want kids anyway, but if I had one, it would be a girl. And then she’d bring home an asshole like me, and I’d have to start buying guns.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
NDUB I didnt see you respond to yolanda40 calling you out. Disappointed.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
If you want a boy, your husband needs to be on the larger size or make sure he’s bangin’ you deep.
And, by the way, this is actually true.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
Which always kills me when people who don’t like him go on the “Most leftist president of our lifetime” bit…the reality doesn’t match the talking point
May 9th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
It really starts at 12. It gets easier when they turn 15 and actually start to listen more.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
Rule #1 of politics: Get elected.
Rule #2 of politics: Get re-elected.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
even if he was weaering a sweet plaid sweater?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:49 AM
.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:49 AM
Yeah, the two years I spent unemployed ruined me. Although one of the moms I became friendly with on the playground who is a great mom had a little boy who was crazy and all over the place, but he was a sweetie pie so I enjoyed baby-sitting him. Now, this rich bitch mom I baby-sat for who didn’t discipline her kids had complete brats that I hated being around. Her son pulled a shit filled diaper off himself and constantly bit me.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
So it’s pretty obvious that the root of evil is the parents, and not the kids.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:51 AM
preparing you for nursing home life when you’re 90
May 9th, 2012 at 9:51 AM
what the fuck? 3 goddamn times and my comment still wont show up
May 9th, 2012 at 9:52 AM
Even more if he was wearing a sweet plaid sweater. You’re going to ask my daughter out and then try to show her old man up in the fashion department? Not happening, Sunny.
/spits
//polishes shotgun.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:52 AM
With the diaper?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
Abso-fucking-lutely.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
Atl Engager sent it to me the other night. BITCH THAT SHIT CRAY.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
Yes.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
Borrowing Parrish’s broad brush, I see
May 9th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
if the Republicans actually cared who their nominee was instead of caring more about just winning the election, they might get somewhere. I don’t affiliate with either party but neither of these main candidates (Obama/Romney) give me any reason to think positive
May 9th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
So it’s pretty obvious that the root of evil is the parents, and not the kids.
Yep.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
I think TBL should let him back. Dude spends more time on the comments section than I do. What’s the harm?
May 9th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
Some people would think that. They are also the same assholes who run kid sports leagues where score isnt kept, and everyone gets a participation ribbon..
The fuck? I think the economics of austerity are wrong. our collective income is pretty close to our collective spending. so less income=less spending. an economy isn’t a household, “tightening our nation’s belt” doesn’t make sense. I also think that participation ribbons are wrong, kids need to learn to deal with disappointment.
But if it makes you feel better to put people that disagree with you in a narrow box, go for it.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
#FreeDirt
May 9th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
So it’s pretty obvious that the root of evil is the parents, and not the kids.
This is why I am pledging now to not become a douche parent. I know I am not going to be perfect, but man I have seen too many friends kids just act fucked up and I know it’s the parents fault.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
#Charske
May 9th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
I feel the financial footing of the government has been completely hi-jacked by Corporate America’s financial arm. So I tend to just vote based on local influenec and social policies.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
/things I’ll probably say for the rest of my life
May 9th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
That’s the spin you choose to put on it? Awesome.
Anyone who thinks The One doesn’t privately support gay marriange is lying to themselves. Of course he does. He is just too much of a coward to come out and say it for fear of losing votes. Profiles in courage. That’s the “reality”.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:59 AM
I don’t think it’s a broad brush. I watched at least 10 kids, one 4 days a week from 8-7. I also did a ton of baby-sitting in college for some extra cash. I think I have a pretty good basis for forming my opinion.
May 9th, 2012 at 9:59 AM
I keep getting confused, because your Twitter pic is of you holding a baby, correct?
May 9th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
Chicken shit fake liberal.
He’s NEVER been very liberal. He is left of center, but his MO is to work to find common ground. He was put up on a pedestal by liberal groups as their salvation, and only looked so because Bush was a disaster. By their standards, they set him up to fail.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:01 AM
Ehhhhhh, Mike I don’t really agree with you on this. I get your reasoning and I think there is a validity to it because I do think he is a coward in a lot of his policies that have been scaled back majorly (granted, that’s the way every single president is, but he’s the only one who said it would be different, was stupid to believe him.)
But legally he has some fairly conservative private views on gay rights and the death penalty. I think it makes him uneasy.
But in terms of his liberalness, he is FAR more centrist than Hilary or Biden.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
I think that’s his niece.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Yeah, I was hammered on St. Paddy’s day, and borrowed a friends kid for that shot. Baby in one hand, beer in the other.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Might as well be.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:04 AM
I want to choke a bitch right now. I now understand what Atl Badger was saying when he got banned. That is all I’ll say. 5 or 6 times my comment was eaten without moderation. Whatever.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
Texans, in my experience there are several words and links to certain things that will cause it to get eaten without moderation. What were you trying to say?
May 9th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
It really starts at 12. It gets easier when they turn 15 and actually start to listen more.
Absolute Truth.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
Let’s be honest – were you trying to call the President a socia1ist?
/jokes
May 9th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
Some people can’t link to TVF, I’ve found. But we can now say Mexican.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
If its really cheaper to put people in prison for life, I don’t understand why the republicans won’t get behind that.
/ask the victim’s family what they would choose before trial
May 9th, 2012 at 10:08 AM
I was just trying to say that I would want to choose the sex of my child if the first one wasn’t a girl. But I probably wouldn’t be able to afford it anyway.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
*wasn’t a boy
May 9th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
Fair enough Mole, but something tells me we’ll see a pivot once Term 2 rolls around.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
The centrifugal procedure only increases your chances of getting the sex you want from 50/50 to 60/40. Totally not worth the money.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
sad face
May 9th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
Then why are there still black baby girls being born?
/stereotype’d
May 9th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Oh for sure, I mean that’s really always the case. I would expect him to turn on something like that, but definitely not until after the election, but I don’t think he genuinely supports it is what I’m saying.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
TexasFan certain linked sites will not let a comment come up.