Elderly Jacksonville Man Hits Bachelor Partygoers With Golf Cart, Then Whacks a Guy With a Club
A 61-year-old Jacksonville man was arrested and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon after maniacally slamming his golf cart into a bachelor party, and then slugging a man with a club. One fellow suffered a “badly swollen leg” as a result of being steamrolled by the cart. Here’s one account of the melee that took place at Jacksonville Beach Municipal Golf Course.
“He drove the cart as fast as it could go … he ran right over my buddy and caught me, too. He went full bore. I never saw anybody use a golf cart as a weapon.”
Full bore? I appreciate this man’s commitment to seek and destroy. According to the police report, the argument “involved the younger golfers driving, drinking and ‘malingering’ on the greens.” OK, let’s just get this out of the way, is it even possible to enjoy a day of golf without malingering?
There was also something mentioned about not playing the game the right way. I’m actually not sure what’s worse, playing golf the “wrong way,” or getting pissed that someone else is playing golf the wrong way. Sounds like a wonderful collection of unreasonable assholes.
After initially seeing the mugshot, I had secretly been hoping the brawl began shortly after the pictured attacker screamed “don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
[via Jacksonville.com]

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29 Responses to “Elderly Jacksonville Man Hits Bachelor Partygoers With Golf Cart, Then Whacks a Guy With a Club”
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April 30th, 2012 at 8:01 PM
Ramming speed!
April 30th, 2012 at 8:03 PM
This is spencer in 40 years
Maybe 10
April 30th, 2012 at 8:19 PM
Last weekend.
April 30th, 2012 at 8:36 PM
not sure if midnight in paris was discussed earlier, but i know i won’t be seeing it
April 30th, 2012 at 8:37 PM
Raw Livechat
April 30th, 2012 at 8:47 PM
Be it a gated community or a dog-legged fairway, ground is allowed to be defended in Florida…this hero will be exonerated
April 30th, 2012 at 8:59 PM
In all seriousness, I hope the golf club is okay.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:02 PM
Over-rated basketball franchise get’s eliminated from the playoffs quickly. Only douche-bag, loudmouth idiot Knick fans care. But everyone has to hear about it, because like I said, Knick fans are loud-mouth idiots.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:04 PM
his left ear wants no part of this mugshot
April 30th, 2012 at 9:05 PM
Love the caption. That old dude’s left ear looks like it’s ready to break away & fly to freedom.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:06 PM
hi five srod
April 30th, 2012 at 9:09 PM
seven, great minds think alike. Hi five back at ya.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:15 PM
his face says “damn right I did it, and I’d do it again!”
April 30th, 2012 at 9:26 PM
his face says “damn right I did it, and I’d do it again!”
/Col Jessup’d
//”I’m being charged with a crime?”
April 30th, 2012 at 9:33 PM
OT: Markakis just grounded into a game-ending double play. Does anyone else think of “Southern Cross” when you see Nick play?
“On this heading lies the Markakis/Eighty feet of waterline/Nice for making way”
/”Marquesas”
April 30th, 2012 at 9:36 PM
Knicks embarrassed once again. Last time it was the refs fault, I’m excited to hear what they come up this time.
Melo was pretty good, for the first 30 minutes anyway.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:37 PM
I’m an educated man, but I’m afraid I can’t speak intelligently about the travel habits of William Santiago.
Holy shit. I think this guy might be Col. Jessup.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:38 PM
“I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to.”
April 30th, 2012 at 9:41 PM
And he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those pesky kids!
/ cuz he looks like a creeper in a Scooby Doo movie.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:41 PM
I have been a-rounnnnnnnnnnnd tha world….
Lookin’ for that woman/girl
(who knows)
Who knows love can en-dure.
And you know it wi-hilllllllllllllll
April 30th, 2012 at 9:42 PM
reg-gie, with the smooth cross-reference.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:43 PM
I hear “Southern Cross”, and I immediately want to set sail. And I don’t even swim.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:44 PM
To be fair, you’re blind or extremely biased if you didn’t think last game’s refereeing was absolutely horrid in the 1st half.
Tonight, Knicks just got worked over by a much better Heat team. Looks like Heat in 5 at this point. I was thinking it would go 6, but the Heat are just really focused, and I don’t see what the Knicks can do all that differently that would get 2 straight wins at home.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:46 PM
Watching Draft Wrap-Up on ESPN2…….
/needs more close ups of Wendi, she looks hot tonite.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:57 PM
obviously you’re obese…golf carts aren’t exactly fast.
April 30th, 2012 at 9:58 PM
not really.
April 30th, 2012 at 10:01 PM
seriously? the golf course is my tranquil sanctuary.
plus, i played pretty damn well last weekend, thankyouverymuch.
May 1st, 2012 at 1:00 AM
No “get off my lawn!” hollers from the old coot.
The one or two times I’ve been out at a golf course, it never failed that there would be someone out there who felt that he (always guy) owned the golf course or the driving range. Sounds like the bachelor party guys were being slow and Old Man 3-Wood had had enough.
May 1st, 2012 at 12:59 PM
61 and elderly? Was that written by an 8-year old editor?
The victim had a swollen leg? Too bad he got off so easy. This story and whoever edited it are full of shit, even for TBL.