2012 NFL Mock Draft: Let The Commenters Decide!
Last year, we had a mock draft with the commenters, and the early selection of a Ryan Mallett by the Browns set the thread off. This year, no Browns fans picking for the Bengals, and no picks like Mallett. However, there is plenty of area for disagreement here. I also love this format for the reason that most mock drafts are done by one person. Here, there is no hoping a guy gets to your team, and gerrymandering the picks. You have no control over what 31 other people think, just like the real draft.
Browns fans will be happy to know that our mock draft followed 2007, when the Browns had an early pick, some thought Brady Quinn was in play, but they went with the safer elite play with Joe Thomas. Then, Miami was absolutely going to take the quarterback, until they took a wide receiver, and Quinn fell all the way to #22.
#1 INDIANAPOLIS COLTS–Andrew Luck, QB, Stanford. Andrew Luck is perhaps the lone prospect since Manning who might make the two-win season it took to potentially draft him palatable. Luck is accurate, expert at audibling and in total command before the snap. In short, he’s Manning 2.0. You know, if Manning were athletic. (BSanders)
#2 WASHINGTON REDSKINS–Robert Griffin III, Baylor. A no-brainer. Skins paid a hefty ransom to be able to put RG3 in burgundy and gold. Many on this site have questioned this move. In 10 years (maybe even 5), Skins will be laughing at those doubters. (Jay V of Considerable Influence)
#3 MINNESOTA VIKINGS–Matt Kalil, OT, USC. The Vikings suck. Everyone knows this. Last year they surprised many fans (looks in mirror) by drafting Christian Ponder with the 12th overall pick in the draft. Problem is, Ponder and Adrian Peterson, aka, the entire offense, played behind an awful O-Line all last year, at least, until Peterson destroyed his knee last Christmas Eve. Kalil should help stabilize the O-Line instantly, giving Ponder much needed help on his blind side. (Ark Badger)
#4 CLEVELAND BROWNS–Trent Richardson, RB, Alabama. Richardson is the pick as he’s an elite talent at a position of need. Claiborne is intriguing to pair with Haden and Blackmon is an elite WR but doesn’t give the Browns a needed deep threat. Trading down is a viable option, however. (Spencer096)
#5 TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS–Morris Claiborne, CB, LSU. Plenty of needs for TB, but none more than CB. Especially in a division with Paddy Ice. [ed. note: Brees and Newton too] (Babar)
#6 ST. LOUIS RAMS– Justin Blackmon, WR, Oklahoma State. This is obviously the best possible scenario for the Rams: they were able to get a massive package (TWSS) of picks to move down and they still get the guy they really wanted. Blackmon won’t immediately transform the offense like a Calvin Johnson, but he’s a step in the right direction. (Roarke49)
#7 JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS– Riley Reiff, OT, Iowa. In the absence of the ability to trade down the Jaguars attempt to shore up the offensive line. Gene Smith and Mike Mularkey have put all their eggs in the Blaine Gabbert basket and so decide to provide protection for the young quarterback. The Jaguars front office debated the merits of selecting Michael Floyd WR – Notre Dame to provide Gabbert a weapon in the passing game or a DE to add to an already strong defense but elected to go offensive line with the selection. (Geeezeus)
#8 MIAMI DOLPHINS– Michael Floyd, WR, Notre Dame. Defying almost every TV analysts’ mock draft, the Dolphins chose to ignore QB Ryan Tannehill at the No. 8 position and select WR Michael Floyd out of Notre Dame. Due to a lack luster off-season, where Miami traded much maligned WR Brandon Marshall, the Dolphins decided to excite their fan base with a splash at the WR position. (caribou)
#9 CAROLINA PANTHERS–Fletcher Cox, DT, Mississippi State. Panthers total defense was atrocious in 2011, ranking 28th. Cammy Cam fixed the offense, so time to address the defense with Fletcher Cox, the best available player at a position of need. Why not add a bookend to compliment Charles Johnson by drafting Melvin Ingram? Because Terrell McClain was bad . . . very, very bad. Cox gives the Panthers a force in the middle to help stop the run, and the option to play multiple positions on the line. (GloriousMullet with no space)
#10 BUFFALO BILLS–Jonathan Martin, OT, Stanford. Buffalo addressed its defensive line issues in free agency by signing Mario Williams and Mark Anderson. With those free agents, Kyle Williams, and Marcel Dareus, Buffalo has created what could be the best front four in the league in 2012. The Bills must now bolster the protection for Ryan Fitzpatrick. Martin was great protecting Andrew Luck and should improve an OL that wore out halfway through the season, allowing sacks that cause the Amish Rifle a rib fracture. The addition of Martin would also create more space for Fred Jackson and C.J. Spiller to run free. (A.P.)
#11 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS–Luke Kuechly, LB, Boston College. The Chiefs have done a solid job filling holes and adding depth in free agency. They would like to upgrade other positions (QB, DT), but there’s little value there and they’ve been mediocre at the other inside linebacker spot next to Derrick Johnson for years. Kuechly should be a solid player for a long time, and could be a defensive standout to go along with Tamba Hali, Johnson, Brandon Flowers, and Eric Berry. (Daniel Stave)
#12 SEATTLE SEAHAWKS–Quenton Coples, DE, North Carolina. Seahawks wanted MLB Luke Keuchly from BC to fill the void left by departed free agent David Hawthorne. Left without that option, the Seahawks decide to bolster their promising young defense with the perceived best pass rusher in the draft. (JMorris)
#13 ARIZONA CARDINALS–Cordy Glenn, OG, Georgia. Ok, I’ve probably given this more thought than the Cardinals. I think they should probably trade down & stockpile but will take Cordy Glenn, OL, Georgia. He’s more athletic than David DeCastro, who was my other consideration (after Reiff & Michael Floyd, damn you early drafters), so he gets the nod. (Starkweather)
#14 DALLAS COWBOYS– David DeCastro, OG, Stanford. David DeCastro is the best player left on the board. Four years in a pro style offense that demanded mobility from its OL to pull and trap. Jason Garrett should be stroking himself with these thoughts. He allows you to immediately move one of the slugs you signed in FA to center, sending Phil Costa to shovel elephant dung in Hell. This is a slam dunk, in my mind. (Urinal Mint)
#15 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES–Melvin Ingram, DE, South Carolina. A defensive end in the model of what Andy Reid looks for, not the tallest or biggest DE, but he’s very technically skilled and also has a high motor. In addition, he’s very sound against the run, which will help cut down the edges and will contain mobile QBs like RG3, Romo and Cam in the pocket. A DE rotation of Cole, Babin and Ingram could easily combine for 30 sacks as well. (PhillyMantis915)
#16 NEW YORK JETS–Courtney Upshaw, DE/OLB, Alabama. Wayne Hunter is still a Jets employee. Why? I have no idea. I wanted a RT but the ones worth taking are all gone. I don’t think I need to tell you why that sucks. So it looks like I’m going to have to settle for a pass rusher or a safety. Oh, Mantis took someone I wanted again. Gee thanks. My options are currently between Courtney Upshaw and Mark Barron. I think Barron is the better player but Upshaw will probably serve the biggest need.
Not that it really matters. WE GOT TEBOW!!! (Senator Jersey)
#17 CINCINNATI BENGALS–Dre Kirkpatrick, CB, Alabama. Cincinnati’s biggest area of concern is the secondary anyway, and they find themselves in a very fortunate situation with only one corner and no safeties taken off the board. Stephon Gilmore’s stock is on the rise, and Dre Kirkpatrick isn’t helping matters with his recent run-in with the law, but I like his speed, size, versatility, and potential to play safety too much to select anyone else. (Jose Ovechkin)
#18 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS–Whitney Mercilus, DE, Illinois. San Diego is also looking for defensive help. Their secondary got exposed last season due to the lack of effective, consistent pass rush. The guy I want for the Chargers led the nation in sacks (16) and forced fumbles (9). (Some Random Old Dude)
#19 CHICAGO BEARS–Kendall Wright, WR, Baylor. The Bears can protect Cutler two ways, but adding another first-round pick to the OL–their high OL draft picks have not turned out well–or by giving him a target opposite Brandon Marshall. I go with the latter: Wright is undersized, which is the only aspect I don’t like, but he never missed a game to injury–you can’t hurt what you can’t catch or hit. He’s a playmaker and field stretcher and has reliable hands. Move over, old man Hester. (Seven kinds of vezina roast beast)
#20 TENNESSEE TITANS–Stephon Gilmore, CB, South Carolina. Titans look to bolster corner and Gilmore will be a great pickup. It was between Gilmore and Poe but have Gilmore rated higher. (reggie dunlap)
#21 CINCINNATI BENGALS–Dontari Poe, DT, Memphis. This pick would likely be better used on someone who can help immediately on the offensive line. But with their second pick in the first round, I see the Bengals gambling on an elite physical talent who Zimmer can hopefully mold into a nice player. It’s a risk worth taking. (Coach Mike Woodson)
#22 CLEVELAND BROWNS–Ryan Tannehill, QB, Texas A&M. There is ZERO chance that Tannehill would get past SEA but the Browns would take him here at 22 and not think twice, especially with Martin off the board. Tannehill would offer (potential) franchise QB value at the cost of low 1st round pick. The Browns almost coughed up four times that value in negotiating for RG3. (Scripty)
#23 DETROIT LIONS–Mark Barron, S, Alabama. The Lions secondary was pretty much an absolute disaster at times. Especially in the playoff game against the Saints. Granted, the secondary wasn’t as bad as the year that Bryant Westbrook (Hook ‘Em) led the league in pass interference; but still, the Lions need help badly. Of course, the top CBs are already off the board. (Jim Harbaugh Scramble)
#24 PITTSBURGH STEELERS–Donta Hightower, ILB, Alabama. The Steelers pick is Dont’a Hightower (ILB) since D. Poe (NT), D. Decastro (OG) and L, Kuechly (ILB) are off the board. He will provide a long term replacement for the released James Farrior, eventually sliding into the Buck LB role. (Brawny Tom)
#25 DENVER BRONCOS–Kendall Reyes, DT/DE, Connecticut. Reyes offers depth and positional flexibility in their multiple-front defense and represents a potential future starter at the team’s most obvious position of need (although safety is close). (Gerard Portmanteau)
#26 HOUSTON TEXANS–Stephen Hill, WR, Georgia Tech. When Andre Johnson was out this past season, it became clear that they had absolutely no one on the roster that could even partially fill the void. Reuben Randle is another possibility, but I think the Texans would go with combine star Hill and his freakish athleticism, with the idea being that they have a couple of years to break him in while Andre Johnson fades, while having the physical skills to possibly fill in right away if Johnson were to go down again. (Nathan Wind)
#27 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS–Devon Still, DT, Penn State. With the hard-hitting safety Mark Barron off the board, the Patriots looks to fix the failed Albert Haynesworth experiment with a versatile and athletic interior lineman who can play end in a 3-4, or rotate at tackle in a 4-3, preventing Vince Wilfork from repeating his career high in snaps in 2011. (Wide Word of Sport)
#28 GREEN BAY PACKERS–Jerel Worthy, DE, Michigan State. Heard a lot of chatter about getting an OLB to work opposite Clay Matthews but they won a Super Bowl with Frank Zombo so they should be looking to fortify the line first and Worthy can give them what was lost when Cullen Jenkins wasn’t brought back. (ButtersBC)
#29 BALTIMORE RAVENS–Amini Silatulo, OG, Midwestern State. Baltimore has been ”built to win” for years, and keep getting older. Free agency left the Ravens with an awful hole (next to a huge void) on the offensive line. They couldn’t pay OG Ben Grubbs, who is now in New Orleans (replacing Nicks). So instead, they’ll take the fast rising Silatulo, who everybody’s got the hots for these days. (Hipster pick by Clayton Cargill)
#30 SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS–Coby Fleener, TE, Stanford. A guy Harbaugh knows and it gives him more chance to dream up twin TE sets to attack defenses for his weak armed QB. (Ballz)
#31 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS–Alshon Jeffery, WR, South Carolina. Branch and Ocho are useless, and I think a big possession receiver on the outside would work well with the TEs and Lloyd stretching the field, Welker inside. Plus, I was hoping BB could use the “Alshon is going to be fat” card to motivate him to be a beast like he was at Sakerlina. (Cleet)
#32 NEW YORK GIANTS–Mike Adams, OT, Ohio State. Anyone that saw Eli’s crooked helmet and mud covered face in the NFC Championship knows the Giants can use help on the O-line. I’ll go with the best one left on the board. (Lorenzo Von Matterhorn)
[photos via US Presswire]

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189 Responses to “2012 NFL Mock Draft: Let The Commenters Decide!”
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April 20th, 2012 at 3:13 PM
god damned tannehill…DO NOT WANT.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:16 PM
Color me disappointed.
/need OL or DB way before LB.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:16 PM
Well fucking done. He played at the little school in my hometown. Dominic Rhodes was the first NFL product out of here. This Samoan can fucking play and I hope and pray he slides to Dallas at 45 somehow.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:16 PM
Boo!
/not really, good picks everybody
April 20th, 2012 at 3:17 PM
fucking moron…adams has all the talent in the world. then he goes and does stupid shit like not work out before the combine and fail a fucking drug test. what a waste.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:17 PM
/not hating the pick in 5, hating the player
April 20th, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Well done, fellas.
Who is Daniel Stave? He’s the only one I didn’t recognize.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
god damned Poe…NOT SURE YET IF I WANT.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
Good job y’all. Tannehill sure did plummet.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO
April 20th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
I can see OG, but DB? You mean a back up safety?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
I didn’t realize we were writing essays…
I like the Floyd pick for the Dolphins.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
I was right at 40 words and still got cut ? Typical Chefs fan, editing copy in his Zubaz.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
Lisk, disabling comments on this post would have been one of the funniest things ever done on here.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
I kinda want Kirkpatrick and Gilmore.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
Really enjoyed this. Nice job everyone.
Agreed 100% especially with Neal’s impending suspension… well that and he wasn’t effective last year.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
Also…NFL Sunday ticket down to $200. Nice move.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
Ballz took the guy I would have, so that saves me from berating him here and bitching about missing out on this.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
This. But, scripty is right. No chance he is still there at 22. If he falls past Seattle (he won’t), someone is trading up to get him.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
Biggest reach since the Bengals took Ryan Mallet @4 in last years mock draft.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
LB seems like a stretch for the Chiefs, considering the O-Line issues they have. Winston will help but there are still holes, especially Asamoah. Hard for me to believe they would pass up on DeCastro if he’s still available.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
A lot of people are predicting the Steelers will draft Hightower, and ILB is a need people are overlooking. I don’t really get into the mock drafts after the teens because it’s a total crapshoot at that point.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
I think Martin is a reach at 10 for the Bills, I think if Floyd is off the board at 10, i think they go Kuechly and try to find a tackle later. Bills O-line held up pretty well last year despite injuries, i dont think it’s as much of a need as WR or LB.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
This is bullshit. I heard that the Browns are taking two 1st round RBs
April 20th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
So Jim, did you have a major or raging erection when typing this?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
What was it at?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:21 PM
Jersey was ready to kill me after I made the Ingram pick. First Carimi last year, this year Ingram. Sorry brah.
/throws out Steveweisers to everybody
April 20th, 2012 at 3:21 PM
Not sold on Flynn? I think he’ll be alright.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:21 PM
/wouldn’t be that upset
//RB is a serious need
April 20th, 2012 at 3:22 PM
If Tannehill is there at 21 mike brown will trade down just to fuck the browns.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:22 PM
a massive packageReminds me a lot of myself
April 20th, 2012 at 3:23 PM
Their Offensive Coordinator was his college coach. They can’t get a FA qbs to sign with them. They are drafting a QB at 8.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:23 PM
#7 JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS– Riley Reiff, OT, Iowa.
Don’t love this pick, don’t hate it.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:23 PM
Al Davis is spinning in his grave he can’t make this pick.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:23 PM
+1
April 20th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
As a rookie. And this year he’ll be healthy, so that LB position should be locked up for the next decade or so.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
Tannehill fucking Quinn’d the shit out of this draft.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
A DE rotation of Cole, Babin and Ingram
PhillyMantis, are you already giving up on Brandon Graham?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
All Animal Farm-y up in here.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
I think like $350…to be honest, I don’t remember…but this is a significant drop.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
Only objection is the omission of this video.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
MINNESOTA VIKINGS–Ryan Kalil, OT, USC
Uh…you mean Matt, right?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:25 PM
I still think they have other holes to fill before they spend this pick on another QB.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:25 PM
Picks 24 – 26 are in a smaller font on my computer.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:25 PM
I’ll never get tired of watching that video.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:26 PM
(Seven kinds of vezina roast beast)
LOVE LOVE LOVE
April 20th, 2012 at 3:26 PM
Just wondering, what makes Ryan Tannehill so much better than Brock Osweiler? If you’re Miami, Cleveland or Seattle, why trade up or pick Tannehill in the top 10 when you can get Osweiler in the second round?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:26 PM
Thanks for organizing this Jason.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:27 PM
Browns are taking Weeden at #22.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:27 PM
I got edited. I took a huuuuge dump on Matt Birk that you all should have read. I also explained why I didn’t think theyd take Konz (like in every mock on earth) and what center they’d likely gamble on late.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
Yet another slight.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
Or Cousins.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
this ensures i will be purchasing it for years to come. with the free year i had last year, my average spend is $100 a year, not too shabby.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
Really enjoyed this. Thanks for letting me take part. Forgot to add to my pick:
/Team Thick
April 20th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
I dunno Cleet. Pats don’t have trouble moving the ball down the field. I may have gone with another defender here.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
And yet still got more than the 40 words. Motherfucker. This is my TBL “Network” moment.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:29 PM
Unless something happens, the pick I hate the most here is Jacksonville’s, but only because there’s nothing they can do. that pick is a bad value.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:29 PM
I like football as much as the next guy but I’ll be goddamned if I can figure out the level of love for the draft. Worry about your team and be done with it.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:29 PM
Sounds like your paragraph was the 1,220 extra words Lisk was complaining about.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:29 PM
Love Floyd at 8 for the Phins. Tannyhill is too big a risk. We can live with Matt Moore for a bit longer.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:30 PM
Its a watered down Sunday Ticket. No Short cuts, Redzone, etc… just all the games.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:30 PM
Gronk was limited in the SB and look at how much they struggled. Brady needed Branch late in that game and he wasn’t there. The offense isn’t perfect. I figure they are trading this pick anyway.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:30 PM
I was looking at the DirectTV website yesterday and saw that you get it free if you sign a 2 year contract. that’s a hell of a deal.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:31 PM
That’s a steal…..especially considering I spend $600 at the bar over the course of the season*
*Not this season. 5 primetime games!!
April 20th, 2012 at 3:31 PM
Truth.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:31 PM
I am not sold on Brandon Graham coming back and being a viable DE. He should have been a 3-4 OLB, not a 4-3 DE.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:31 PM
I recognize all commenters except Daniel Stave. ¿Quién es?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:31 PM
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO
so, no?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:31 PM
I see them either trading down, or even trading up, but i don’t see them holding this pick.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:31 PM
Then paste it in the comments, retard.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
This is cool. Nice work guys.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Team Redzone.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Also, this was far too orderly an affair. Jersey should’ve drafted Tannehill or something to mix it up.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Before Goodell fucked it up Draft weekend was a great time to drink beer for two days straight, talk football and laugh at the Vikings
April 20th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
So you like fat blonds and you have a small penis. got it.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Short arms.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
I’m not on the computer where it lives, bucket monkey
April 20th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Typical.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:33 PM
I’m surprised that TBL’s onslaught of negative press against Griffin didn’t have him sliding down to SEA at 12.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
My favorite hot new draft rumor is that the Pars are coming up to 13 to “get” Barron. giving up 27 and 31, getting back a 3rd.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
And just like that Cleet’s chances with SG at TBL: Chicago go up in flames.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
I think pick 31 will be a QB. A team will trade a 2013 #1 to get into that spot to take either Wheedon or Osweiler.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
(Looks up)Boy, they really let this post stand on its own for a while.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
I hope they filled that with Brandon Lloyd, but i’ve also heard rumblings that Hernandez would be more of a wideout this season and possibly drafting or signing another TE so that you could conceivably have Lloyd, Welker and Hernandez split as WR, Gronk and a blocking TE on the field at the same time
April 20th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
You don’t have access to email?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
easy answer here…im a browns fan and fantasy is more comfortable than reality.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
I’m just happy my Phil Costa blast made it in.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
Yes, do this.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:35 PM
HE LIVES!!!
April 20th, 2012 at 3:35 PM
After Spencer took Mallet last year, Lisk probably threatened them with banishment if they went wild like that again.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:35 PM
I know right? One minute she wanted it and now it’s over because of Alshon Jeffery.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:35 PM
Also I feel “bucket monkey” is racist. Someone update the spreadsheet.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:36 PM
I just want to say how much fun it is scrolling through the comments from last year’s draft.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:36 PM
Fair enough but the Jets still need a QB…
April 20th, 2012 at 3:36 PM
I try to keep a lid on it, but sometimes my cluelessness just gets loose.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:36 PM
Not on this toy. I hate having my email download to a bunch of places. I like shit tidy.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:36 PM
Anyone else surprised his breakdown wasn’t a lot longer?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:36 PM
Still seems higher than free though.
/Suck my dick NFL
//I Don’t even watch the truck commercials
///Team Watch Redzone Illegally
April 20th, 2012 at 3:36 PM
Never actually knew what he did that was so bad until now.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:36 PM
I’m not on the computer where it lives, bucket monkey
In it’s unedited glory.
Baltimore has been “built to win” for years, and keep getting older. Free agency left the Ravens with an awful hole (next to a huge void) on the offensive line. They couldn’t pay OG Ben Grubbs, who is now in New Orleans (replacing Nicks). In order to lure Matt Birk out of retirement (if you’re wondering, he retired at halftime of the AFC championship game, but only from trying to block) they had to give the Harvard Grad basically 2 guaranteed years, at about 3 million per. Too much to park him halfway through the year. So instead, they’ll take the fast rising Silatulo, who everybody’s got the hots for these days.
Every mock draft on earth has them taking Peter Konz, but apparently, you can get under him in his pass protection, because he’s tall and plays high. And despite the fact that they should run the football 80 times a game, Baltimore will not stop throwing it. So I think they take a pass on Konz, and use a much later (5th maybe) drat choice on Bruce Gradkowski’s brother, Gino, who is a DII(FBS, whatever) All American center from Delaware,
April 20th, 2012 at 3:37 PM
yeah, i’ve got a 92″ projector screen so i don’t think i’ll ever go anywhere else to watch football.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:37 PM
I don’t know, I think a hate-fuck seems like it should still be in play there.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:37 PM
I got edited too. I had a slam on LSU, plus Lisk put a space in my handle:
/It’s “GloriousMullet”
//Not “Glorious Mullet”
///LSU sucks
April 20th, 2012 at 3:37 PM
Good pick. You know the fat man can’t resist picking d-linemen just like he can’t resist…well….any type of food.
/Time’s yours
April 20th, 2012 at 3:37 PM
Until SG hits that third martini…..
And if the U wins, Cleet might be the recipient of an SG anger bang.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:38 PM
I like football as much as the next guy but I’ll be goddamned if I can figure out the level of love for the draft. Worry about your team and be done with it.
Fucking Beekeepers
April 20th, 2012 at 3:38 PM
I was hoping for a CB, but hey, can’t complain with a safety at that draft position.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:38 PM
Even worse, it was for the Bengals. I am pretty sure Dirt has an e-book about the debacle coming out soon.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:38 PM
After Spencer took Mallet last year, Lisk probably threatened them with banishment if they went wild like that again.
I am laissez faire when it comes to the picks. Clayton is the pick nazi.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:38 PM
I have my fingers crossed it’s a really shitty team like the browns and the pats get a top 10 pick in 2013.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:39 PM
My guess is he was suspect number one when Lisk complained about people being too wordy in their write ups earlier today.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Get out of my head, Chicago!
April 20th, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Mind blown.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:40 PM
/It’s “GloriousMullet”
//Not “Glorious Mullet”
///LSU sucks
Sorry to embarrass you in front of your fake friends.
/all right
/or is it alright
April 20th, 2012 at 3:40 PM
I HAD A LINE ABOUT MICHAEL BROCKERS BEING CHALK BUT I DIDN’T TAKE HIM BECAUSE I WAS DRUNK THAT WAS NOT FUNNY BUT IT GOT EDITED OUT JUST BECAUSE LISK IS BASED IN KC AND IS COVERED IN BARBECUE SAUCE
April 20th, 2012 at 3:40 PM
He loves to eat, can’t deny that. Hope that he’s pushing 400 lbs this season.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:40 PM
i maintain that the rationale for the mallett pick is still sound.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:41 PM
I HAD A LINE ABOUT MICHAEL BROCKERS BEING CHALK BUT I DIDN’T
your complaint was too long. I edited it.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:41 PM
bucket monkey
i don’t want to know what it means or is, but i love the sound of it
/team great sounding words
//whisper
///in spanish, cacahuates
April 20th, 2012 at 3:41 PM
If it has any of the veracity of her comments when she is ticked off sign me up.
/Outta here
//no boss in the office = shotgun friday
April 20th, 2012 at 3:41 PM
This is definitely not the vibe you’ve been putting out all week.
You’re like the college professors who are hard asses all semester long handing out C after C, and then you check your grades over break and see they give you an A.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:41 PM
Team No Sauce
/Let the meat/rub stand on its own
April 20th, 2012 at 3:41 PM
“Colt McCoy” seems like a logical rationale to me, too.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:42 PM
IT WAS EXACTLY 40 WORDS
/truth
//totally by accident
///I’m taking the rest of the day off
April 20th, 2012 at 3:43 PM
i imagine if she’s angry enough you’d get pegged.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:44 PM
Meanwhile on the internet…
April 20th, 2012 at 3:44 PM
Can go both ways on this, but a brisket should definitely be sauce-free. Do like to apply some spray and a bit of saucy lube to the ribs as they smoke, esp. for the last hour.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:44 PM
The draft can be fun, especially if you follow college football as well as the NFL. I like seeing where some of the college players I enjoyed watching get picked. I don’t get to watch as many college games as I used to, so I’ve enjoyed the draft a little less in recent years.
The NFL off season event I don’t quite understand the popularity of is the combine. I can’t fathom watching players do drills and run sprints, etc on TV.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:45 PM
I just want to say how much fun it is scrolling through the comments from last year’s draft.
bear, the loss of the archives make me weep openly
April 20th, 2012 at 3:45 PM
THESE ARE ALL THE FRIENDS I HAVE
/slits wrists
April 20th, 2012 at 3:45 PM
True, “bucket monkey” is a proud graduate of the “Cock Brigadoon School of Nonsensical Insults That Sound Awesome.”
April 20th, 2012 at 3:46 PM
You kept arguing that last year. And I’m an Arkansas fan who thinks Mallett will be successful one day; but you can’t deny that it was a bad pick in the 1st round when everyone knew he’d be there in the 2nd.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:46 PM
This is definitely not the vibe you’ve been putting out all week.
You’re like the college professors who are hard asses all semester long handing out C after C, and then you check your grades over break and see they give you an A.
I’ve been putting out a vibe? My frustration is with people complaining about who gets to pick in the first place. I don’t have time to referee playground fights. I didn’t once care who people picked, or who actually made the picks.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:47 PM
Is it anything like gorilla astronaut?
Shouldn’t the TBL staff be shitting all over these picks? It’s your change and your totally blowing it.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:47 PM
Lisk how shocked were you that I showed no interest in the draft considering it seems to be the biggest thing people complain about?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:48 PM
anger bang
another great-sounding combo
April 20th, 2012 at 3:48 PM
Really excited about Atlanta’s pick. They could really use a stud (CB, S, DE, DT, OT, OG) so getting one was great.
/what’s that you say?
//oh
///watches another Julio drop and cries
April 20th, 2012 at 3:48 PM
everyone thought ponder’d be available in the 2nd last year…shit changes.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:49 PM
There are internet slap fights about this stuff?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:49 PM
Spence, I love the Mallett pick.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:49 PM
There’s no 0 in my name.
/otherwise I got nothing
//thanks for letting me take part
April 20th, 2012 at 3:50 PM
/high fives jck
//also team redzone
April 20th, 2012 at 3:50 PM
I blew my change on a copy of Prevention magazine and then Lisk came by and ripped out the last three pages.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:51 PM
Peter King’s stealing my material
April 20th, 2012 at 3:51 PM
What *aren’t* there internet slap fights about?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:51 PM
Dammit, Lisk, couldn’t you have edited my abortion of a first sentence? The shame I feel is boundless
April 20th, 2012 at 3:51 PM
if cincy picked him up instead of dalton, they’d be better off. could you imagine mallett hitting AJ deep? christ that would’ve been sweet. AJ’s fucking awesome.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:51 PM
Whole lot of hand wringing over a friday afternoon post. The time designated for throwaway posts like Weekly top 5.
/cheap shot
April 20th, 2012 at 3:52 PM
This. Offensive Line especially.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:52 PM
There’s no 0 in my name.
changed. Though if I can be honest here, I think you are blowing it by not having the 0. Chicks dig the 0.
/fist bumps Spencer
April 20th, 2012 at 3:53 PM
I’ve read this 15x and am still stunned that someone thought of this.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:53 PM
I want to know the Beekeeper’s take on the truncated abomination that is my pick.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:53 PM
Could have a bought a 711 taquito with that money.
/Sad day indeed
April 20th, 2012 at 3:53 PM
And I’m an Arkansas fan who thinks Mallett will be successful one day; but you can’t deny that it was a bad pick in the 1st round when everyone knew he’d be there in the 2nd.
only NBA fantasy draft I was a part of, I picked for my boss who couldn;t make it to the party. i did not study, but paid a bit of attention to CBB. he had first pick. I chose kenny anderson and was laughed at. so i drank
April 20th, 2012 at 3:54 PM
Horse, Roeth:
Who would you have picked instead of Hightower?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:54 PM
If there’s not a top OL prospect up there the Steelers are going to draft to address their rapidly aging defense. This is not even remotely shocking considering it’s what they keep doing.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:54 PM
Although Lisk’s menacing gmail photo compelled me to make my pick as soon as possible, and be late for work.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:55 PM
Oh really?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:56 PM
In that spot, you were probably right. No good OL’s left, no DB’s either. Gotta take best available, and it never hurts to have another good backer for when Harrison loses it in the next two years. I’m just kvetching for kvetching sake.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:56 PM
Was this in 1995???
April 20th, 2012 at 3:56 PM
Is it DL? Check.
Works for me.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:57 PM
yes really.
April 20th, 2012 at 3:58 PM
Although Lisk’s menacing gmail photo compelled me to make my pick as soon as possible, and be late for work.
i was reminded that he’s not horschack
April 20th, 2012 at 3:58 PM
Really?
April 20th, 2012 at 3:58 PM
- Nobody
April 20th, 2012 at 3:58 PM
91 or 92 mole
April 20th, 2012 at 3:59 PM
I really don’t understand the need for a DB in the 1st. They drafted 2 CB last year, who played well. Ike is getting old, but had a really good year last year (excluding the playoff game) and Kenaan Lewis is developing into good CB.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:00 PM
It’s criminal how they’ve ignored the interior defensive line over the years. Literally the only first round pick I can recall there is Trevor Pryce.
Oh, and Ted Gregory.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:01 PM
No love for Jarvis Moss?
April 20th, 2012 at 4:03 PM
Honestly had no idea fantasy sports existed back then.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:03 PM
Loved this collaborative effort. Looking forward to the next one.
And, dang it, esteemed Senator Jersey. I wanted to draft Upshaw soooooooo bad. Oh, well.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:04 PM
Interior–they’ve drafted a few DEs in the first, if I remember right. Dan Williams was one. Lisk would remember him, although in his mind it might read more like Dan Willi-
April 20th, 2012 at 4:05 PM
(JMorris)
HE LIVES!!!
I live for the commenter draft.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:06 PM
“Back in my day we didn’t have computers, so we had to add up everyone’s score by a newspaper!!!!”
/my old man
April 20th, 2012 at 4:08 PM
You could have at least proof-read my description to rid it of it’s grammatical errors, Lisk.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:17 PM
What a horrific job by the commenters. A true abomination, as expected.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:20 PM
this.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:22 PM
What a horrific job by the commenters. A true abomination, as expected.
I was looking for the word “smushmortion”.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:22 PM
Needs more nitpicking of grammatical errors.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:24 PM
ha. that’s great.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:27 PM
Good thing no one reached for Cousins now with that Oxycontin bust that I just made up in hopes of winning $10.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:32 PM
Too bad trades weren’t allowed. Lions’ pick to OAK for Pryor. Stafford needs to be “pushed.”
/Vlad’d
April 20th, 2012 at 4:34 PM
There is no way I could make it through this movie without bawling even if the ending is happy.
April 20th, 2012 at 4:40 PM
Go on…
April 20th, 2012 at 4:43 PM
I’d expect nothing less from those damn dirty apes.
April 20th, 2012 at 5:51 PM
Thoughts for Texans’ pick:
Although they lost Mario Williams and the entire right side of their offensive line in the off-season, the Texans’ need at WR is clearly their most pressing concern. When Andre Johnson was out this past season, it became clear that they had absolutely no one on the roster that could even partially fill the void. Neither Kevin Walter nor Jacoby Jones are quality no. 2 WRs, much less capable fill-ins when Andre Johnson isn’t around (and Johnson is on the wrong side of 30). There is a lot of speculation in the local press that the Texans would take Kendall Wright with this pick, but he was not available. Even if he was, he doesn’t fit the mold of what the Texans like in a WR: which is big guys who can block. With Schaub and his noodle arm, they need a WR that can go up and fight for jump balls that are under thrown by 10 or more yards (I think Schaub has left close to 20 TDs on the field by under throwing Andre Johnson over the past 5 years). Reuben Randle is another possibility, but I think the Texans would go with combine star Hill and his freakish athleticism, with the idea being that they have a couple of years to break him in while Andre Johnson fades, while having the physical skills to possibly fill in right away if Johnson were to go down again.
April 20th, 2012 at 5:56 PM
Browns are taking Weeden at #22.
I could EASILY see this as well.
Great job everybody.
April 20th, 2012 at 7:06 PM
Scripty, you’re wel-
/Lisk’d
April 21st, 2012 at 1:30 AM
I saw a couple of folks ask about me. Repped the chiefs last year when it was the “reader” mock. Saw no one was picking for them this year. I did what I could to make sure there wasn’t another mock that had us taking tannehill. I could see decastro too, but I’d take asamoah/lilja over jovan belcher, hence the kuechly pick.
/cherry=popped