Remember the Roger Clemens court-related news that impressively dominated your televisions for what seemed like forever? Well, I’m happy to report that the portly, bloated Texan is back, marking the government’s second attempt to prove the Rocket was more or less full of shit at a House Committee hearing back in 2008. The first attempt was a Lionel Hutz-inspired mistrial thanks to some inadmissible evidence. So far in this go-round, a potential juror has already openly questioned the exorbitant costs involved with the trial. The comical “do over” will likely last up to six weeks or so, and right now the ambitious goal is to procure 12 jurors who have no existing opinion on this astounding jackass.

Best of luck to all involved.

As for actual baseball…

Phillies 5, Giants 2 — Roy Halladay went eight innings and allowed two runs. Remember when there were “concerns” over Doc in spring training? Hilarious. In three starts he’s gone a total of 23 innings and allowed three runs. Referring to him as an ace almost feels understated at this point.

Rays 1, Red Sox 0 — Happy belated Patriot’s Day to each and every member of Red Sox Nation. I knew picking this team to win 96 games would end up being criminally wrong. Oh well.

Mets 6, Braves 1 — The Mets are 7-3, David Wright is batting .542, and Mr. Met probably got a happy ending last night. All is well is Flushing.

Nats 6, Astros 3 — Rick Ankiel’s arm is the story here. Enjoy the bionic throw while you can. It’ll be gone in 20 minutes.

Angels 6, A’s 0 — Albert Pujols went 2-for-4 with a double and two runs scored. Oakland starter Brandon McCarthy — 7.0 IP, 11 H, 5 ER — was awful, which is unfortunate because his Twitter feed is hysterical.

Tigers 3, Royals 2 — Mr. Verlander pitched a complete game, allowing two runs and striking out nine. He’s destined for a ladder match with Doc so we can finally learn just who in fact is the best starter in all of baseball. I’m not exactly sure how a ladder match could determine such a thing, but it feels right.

[Photo via US Presswire]