Taiwanese Animation Takes on Ashley Young’s Blatant Diving and Webcam Masturbation

All, Soccer, Video Ty Duffy April 17th. 2012, 1:15pm

Manchester United and England star Ashley Young got the Taiwanese animation treatment. Not normally a fan of these, though bonus references to Klinsmann and to Young treating his body like an amusement park in front of unsuspecting women on webcams pushes this one over the top.

A.P. on Jalen Rose Leaving Numbers Never Lie, Jemele Hill in as New Co-Host
The Wayne Fontes Safari on Jalen Rose Leaving Numbers Never Lie, Jemele Hill in as New Co-Host
VladimirCrouton on Jalen Rose Leaving Numbers Never Lie, Jemele Hill in as New Co-Host
beardown on Jalen Rose Leaving Numbers Never Lie, Jemele Hill in as New Co-Host
Flaccid Indigestion on Jalen Rose Leaving Numbers Never Lie, Jemele Hill in as New Co-Host

aroundtheweb

52 Responses to “Taiwanese Animation Takes on Ashley Young’s Blatant Diving and Webcam Masturbation”

1
pkiguy22 Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:19 PM
Stupid fucking cops.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/texas-man-claims-police-killed-dog-cisco-responding/story?id=16150874#.T42lvPWs0ct
2
molemaninthemorning Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:20 PM
The chairman of the PFA has come out saying that Young is not a diver but Andy Carroll should be retrospectively banned for diving. Never change, English structure.
Also Ashley Young and Aaron Lennon are choices for the fan poll of “Best EPL Players of the Last 20 Years.” Hilarious.
3
VladimirCrouton Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:20 PM
Brad Marchand was doing some diving last night. Great fucking game. Ovie’s a dog.
4
sportsgal116 Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
God damn it, pki. You’re an asshole. Did you see those other 3 stories linked on the side too?
5
TexansFan Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:23 PM
Fuck. I was disappointed to find out Ashley is a goddamn male soccer player.
6
pkiguy22 Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
Sorry SG. Nope. Just saw the pics and stopped reading after cop shot dog and police chief admitted they had wrong address.
7
sousedbergin Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
Excited for Bayern and Real Madrid to stare at each other in stupefied terror for 90 minutes.
/Cue the Champions music
8
johndewar Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:26 PM
Fuck. I was disappointed to find out Ashley is a goddamn male soccer player.
I feel misled completely.
/back to work for me
9
molemaninthemorning Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:26 PM
police chief admitted they had wrong address.
Alright boys, time to bag us a cattle rustler.
10
jekyll Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:26 PM
Stupid fucking cops.
I have long advocated summary execution of police officers in situations like this. For one thing, their job requires a higher standard of care than the average person, and for another, we have the right to defend helpless members of our family from excessive force by outsiders, police or otherwise. The rule should be simple: if you’re a cop and you recklessly kill an innocent, you forfeit your right to life.
11
MP Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:28 PM
The chairman of the PFA has come out saying that Young is not a diver but Andy Carroll should be retrospectively banned for diving.
It’s an anti-Liveropol conspiracy. Who knows how deep it goes.
12
geoffreyvs hired a PR firm to get his son's coach fired; now I'm running for Senate! Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:34 PM
Spencer, do you think Manchester City still has any chance of winning the Premier League.
Thanks,
Geoff
/a couple threads ago’d
13
devang Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:37 PM
It’s an anti-Liveropol conspiracy. Who knows how deep it goes.
I want to know the ref for the Liverpool Chelsea FA cup final, and investigate him for ties to the Russian mob.
14
devang Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:39 PM
Any way DiMatteo gets to stay on for Chelsea?
15
molemaninthemorning Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:40 PM
Phil Dowd is refereeing the final and he’s one of the best in the league.
16
Jim Harbaugh Scramble Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:40 PM
so, Ashley Young is not a chick?
/pulls pants up
17
NDub Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:42 PM
Stupid fucking cops.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/texas-man-claims-police-killed-dog-cisco-responding/story?id=16150874#.T42lvPWs0ct
While I know they’re human and to err is human, that oath requires police officers to handle situations with a higher standard than the everyday person. It reads like the investigation is ongoing (the dashboard camera evidence, for instance), so I’ll withhold judgment. But it sounds like absolute wrong place at wrong time for that poor dog.
18
HuskerDawg Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:42 PM
http://abcnews.go.com/US/texas-man-claims-police-killed-dog-cisco-responding/story?id=16150874#.T42lvPWs0ct
Damn. I would have been a ball of tears and anger if I saw this play out in front of me.
19
NDub Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
As for that video, I laughed when they showed the Ashley Young character beating a large slab of red meat and then choking a live chicken in front of his computer screen.
20
HuskerDawg Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
Excited for Bayern and Real Madrid to stare at each other in stupefied terror for 90 minutes.
/Cue the Champions music
Feel free to shoot me one of your now-famous links when this game kicks off.
21
devang Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:45 PM
Phil Dowd is refereeing the final and he’s one of the best in the league.
Oh good! Yep, he’s pretty excellent.
22
Career High Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:47 PM

Damn. I would have been a ball of tears and anger if I saw this play out in front of me.
Yup, and I would prob end up getting shot by the cop too.
23
molemaninthemorning Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:53 PM
Most police officers are just guys who want to continue their high school football glory days by having power over people, anyway.
SWAT teams killing dogs on drug raids is fairly common. And all done under the guise of the PATRIOT Act.
Fuck da police.
24
geoffreyvs hired a PR firm to get his son's coach fired; now I'm running for Senate! Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 1:54 PM
I don’t think Aussie cattle dogs are particularly cheap either. I would be so angry.
25
Huskerteers Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:00 PM
Liverpool obviously haven’t been great this year, but they’ve definitely had our number. You guys will win 2-0 through Bellamy and Suarez, and Torres will miss at least 2 open goals.
26
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:02 PM
I don’t think Aussie cattle dogs are particularly cheap either. I would be so angry.
the dollars really don’t matter, although one of those probably costs less than most other purebred dogs, in that area, as they are commoner there than a lot of breeds.
27
molemaninthemorning Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:02 PM
Aussie cattle dogs are more common than virtually every dog breed in existence.
28
got_em_looking Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:04 PM
Fuck. I was disappointed to find out Ashley is a goddamn male soccer player.
Reminds me of that one awkward moment with Lindsay Hunter at the celebrity glory hole convention.
29
sousedbergin Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:04 PM
I would not be responsible for my actions if someone burst into my apartment and shot my puppy.
/Even though it won’t moonwalk, fetch whiskey or skateboard.
30
St. Bear Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:07 PM
SWAT teams killing dogs on drug raids is fairly common. And all done under the guise of the PATRIOT Act.
Well, the Patriot Act, and the fact that the majority of the dogs they kill are bred and trained to go straight for their jugulars. I don’t blame them one bit.
31
geoffreyvs hired a PR firm to get his son's coach fired; now I'm running for Senate! Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:08 PM
Aussie cattle dogs are more common than virtually every dog breed in existence.
Okay, so I’m the spencer of dog breeders.
32
molemaninthemorning Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:11 PM
Well, the Patriot Act, and the fact that the majority of the dogs they kill are bred and trained to go straight for their jugulars. I don’t blame them one bit.
I’m referring to the multiple instances of them doing it on minor pot busts and even wrong addresses.
I would not be responsible for my actions if someone burst into my apartment and shot my puppy.
Your fluffy white dog? It would look like when Randy Johnson hit that bird.
33
molemaninthemorning Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:12 PM
Okay, so I’m the spencer of dog breeders.
Go back and look at the Wisconsin basketball post. We’re getting a meme going here damnit.
34
St. Bear Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:14 PM
I’m referring to the multiple instances of them doing it on minor pot busts and even wrong addresses.
Assholes will look for any excuse to be an asshole, but they can’t exactly ask the dog what the value of the drugs in the house is.
35
sousedbergin Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:15 PM
Your fluffy white dog? It would look like when Randy Johnson hit that bird.
It would be a small explosion of fur and half digested pieces of my clothes.
36
got_em_looking Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:16 PM
While I know they’re human and to err is human, that oath requires police officers to handle situations with a higher standard than the everyday person
Isn’t this saying “I know to err is human but that oath transforms police into super humans such that erring is taken off the table entirely”… if we assume the police remain human even after an oath then some non-zero error rate is expected, no?
37
MP Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:16 PM
Go back and look at the Wisconsin basketball post. We’re getting a meme going here damnit.
Virtually everybody gets this joke.
38
sousedbergin Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:22 PM
if we assume the police remain human even after an oath then some non-zero error rate is expected, no?
How about zero-sum, as in there is no benefit to society to have swat officers kill dogs looking for drugs.
No one is tasered for suspected jaywalking.
39
spencer096 Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
How about zero-sum, as in there is no benefit to society to have swat officers kill dogs looking for drugs.
you know, they don’t just call in swat for minor shit…if they’re calling in swat, chances are good the situation’s deemed dangerous.
40
sousedbergin Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:28 PM
you know, they don’t just call in swat for minor shit…if they’re calling in swat, chances are good the situation’s deemed dangerous.
True raid gear wearing cops are not a swat team, they’re just dressed like it. http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2010/10/26/submachine-guns-drawn-seattle-police-break-down-door-of-medical-marijuana-patient-push-him-to-the-floor-and-raid-his-homefor-two-tin
41
spencer096 Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:33 PM
True raid gear wearing cops are not a swat team, they’re just dressed like it.
that example is clearly an intelligence gathering failure.
but im not sure it’s possible to ask your quick reaction force of face stompers to not stomp faces when asked to react. as far as a swat team’s concerned, their capabilities are pretty obvious and they assume they wouldn’t be called in unless necessary. cant imagine they’d have a separate, cordial protocol for things like this…just do what they’re called to.
42
got_em_looking Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:33 PM
How about zero-sum, as in there is no benefit to society to have swat officers kill dogs looking for drugs.
No one is tasered for suspected jaywalking.
Everything seems so obvious with the benefit of hindsight doesn’t it? The officers were working under the premise they were at the right address. Clearly everyone would admit going to the right address is better than showing up at the wrong one. I don’t know if anyone intentionally shows up at the wrong address.
Now assuming one is being attacked by a dog at a drug residence then the officers must have the option to protect themselves. Trying to get an aggressive dog off you in front of a possibly armed drug dealer is probably not a position you will want say your dad or your son in.
My point is that some non-zero error rate is expected in all human endeavors there is a problem only when the error rate is greater than expectation, this however doesn’t stop one from examining the process to see if any improvements can be made.
43
NDub Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:34 PM
Isn’t this saying “I know to err is human but that oath transforms police into super humans such that erring is taken off the table entirely”… if we assume the police remain human even after an oath then some non-zero error rate is expected, no?
No.
44
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:34 PM
Everything seems so obvious with the benefit of hindsight doesn’t it?
looking back, that was a stupid thing to lead with
45
molemaninthemorning Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:35 PM
you know, they don’t just call in swat for minor shit…if they’re calling in swat, chances are good the situation’s deemed dangerous.
True and not true at the same time. SWAT (and other heavily militarized areas of police department) funding has escalated like crazy after 9/11 and with the help of the PATRIOT Act. They use the sneak and peak rights on drug raids versus for terrorism reasons at around a 100:1 ratio. Police departments have been heavily militarized and its being used for the crack down on recreational drugs, and part of the problem is that means better and more lethal technology in the hands of cops who were just normal cops before.
46
sousedbergin Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:36 PM
cant imagine they’d have a separate, cordial protocol for things like this…just do what they’re called to.
Makes sense, not going to half ass it into Tony Montana’s crib.
The fault lies in kicking down doors for drugs in the first place.
47
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:37 PM
My point is that some non-zero error rate is expected in all human endeavors there is a problem only when the error rate is greater than expectation, this however doesn’t stop one from examining the process to see if any improvements can be made.
sounds like a Liskatistical defense of Derek Jetah.
48
spencer096 Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
Police departments have been heavily militarized and its being used for the crack down on recreational drugs, and part of the problem is that means better and more lethal technology in the hands of cops who were just normal cops before.
they’re not cracking down on recreational drugs…they’re cracking down on the violence associated with recreational drug processing and sale.
and with that increase in police funding has come the increased level of violence from international drug cartels ensuring their shipping lanes and customer bases go un-fucked-with. cops slap cartels, cartels stab cops, cops shoot cartels, cartels blow up cops, etc.
the problem isn’t that cops are more well armed and use ruthless tactics, it’s that pot is illegal. frankly, i have absolutely no problem with coke and heroin and meth dealers getting this treatment from the police in the slightest.
49
sousedbergin Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
Police departments have been heavily militarized and its being used for the crack down on recreational drugs,
Yep.
50
got_em_looking Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:48 PM
The fault lies in kicking down doors for drugs in the first place.
Now thats a statement I can get behind … i’ll like to know about all the ripple effects of not kicking down doors for drugs though just in case. If you make an activity illegal the system has no choice but to enforce the law. If it doesn’t the repercussions isn’t anything pleasant.
Therefore the move here is to decide whether you want to live in a society with a lax drug policy or not. I wouldn’t claim to know what the right answer is.
51
spencer096 Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 2:55 PM
Therefore the move here is to decide whether you want to live in a society with a lax drug policy or not. I wouldn’t claim to know what the right answer is.
FUCK no. we have too lax a drug policy as it is, what with the rampant abuse of RX’s. hell, one could make an argument that alcohol is just as damaging a drug as cocaine or heroin or meth.
and considering how capitalism breeds a mindset of profit over anything else, i shudder to think what would become of our society if those types of drugs were marketed to the masses. it’s bad enough we corrupt the ethical foundation of things like religion and intellectual property in order to serve a profit…large corporations already psychologically addict people to their products, imagine if there was a physical addiction along with that.
but weed? man, that shit just makes you wanna be mellow and giggle.
52
arkbadger Says:
April 17th, 2012 at 3:11 PM
the problem isn’t that cops are more well armed and use ruthless tactics, it’s that pot is illegal. frankly, i have absolutely no problem with coke and heroin and meth dealers getting this treatment from the police in the slightest.
I think most educated people would agree with everything you said. the problem lies in that people are either un-educated, or they lack the ability to reason or learn for themselves and have heard the same thing since the 1980′s about how all drugs are the worst thing ever and weed is a gateway drug to all things bad. it’s a lot easier for people to just agree with the status qou on issues like this because they have been told for so long how bad it is, than to do some basic, unbiased research into the topic and form their own educated opinions.