Yardwork: The Best Albert Pujols Jersey Modifications
The home Opener at Busch Stadium this past weekend had a bit of a different feel, marking the first season since 2001 in which Albert Pujols would not be the team’s starting first baseman. Big Al and his outstandingly awful OPS of .624 — look, it’s never too early in the season to be a dick — were busy suiting up elsewhere and not sporting that adorable Cardinals laundry we’ve become so accustomed to, though some sources have indicated he still does wear his trusty Cardinals-clad feet pajamas each and every night.
Since so many fans have purchased Pujols-related gear over the years, it has allowed for a rather large open casting call to see who could come up with the best altered No. 5 jersey as part of an informal tribute to the departed hero.
This jersey modification project should really begin and end with the photo at far left, especially since it’s being worn by a chick. It’s a fantastic use of the Angels logo to go along with impressive craftsmanship. The “250 Million” version isn’t bad either: simple, effective, and clean, all while succinctly telling the story. Albert would have been a damn fool to pass up that kind of money. And finally, the inevitable “Traitor” jersey gets a mention because, really, if you’re going to make a homemade alteration to a jersey, you just have to use duct tape.
The Cards beat the Cubs 10-3 yesterday, taking two of three from their lovable rival. Matt Carpenter went 4-for-4 with 5 RBIs.
Indians 13, Royals 7 — Ubaldo Jimenez was not good — 5 IP, 9 H, 4 ER, 3 BB, 5 K — but it was enough thanks to the bats, with four players homering. I would give the names of each player who went deep, but it’s the Indians. They’re going to have to earn my respect.
Pirates 4, Giants 1 — A loss to the Pirates and news that closer Brian Wilson is likely done for the season. If I were the Giants, I would definitely be sleeping in today.
Yankees 11, Angels 5 — Derek, yes he’s just Derek, went 2-for-5 with a double and a three-run shot, proving once again that the old man is far from done.
Marlins 5, Astros 4, 11 innings — The Astros are 4-5, making their fans somewhat optimistic that this season won’t be a complete clusterfuck, while the Marlins are 4-6, causing fans to be a little concerned. It’s amazing what expectations can do.
Braves 7, Brewers 4 — Larry Jones was 1-for-3 with a three-run homer and two walks. As John Locke once firmly stated, “don’t tell me what I can’t do.” Derek Jeter agrees.
Rangers 4, Twins 3 — Josh Hamilton now has four home runs and a scorching OPS of 1.137. Of course it won’t last, but since reporters are bashing Albert’s weak numbers thus far by citing his putrid OPS, it’s only fair to celebrate that of Hamilton’s.

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April 16th, 2012 at 11:18 AM
Break up the Indians. Ubaldo!
April 16th, 2012 at 11:20 AM
This Boston-less 2012 Yardwork is actually getting kind of funny, hope it continues
April 16th, 2012 at 11:22 AM
Who would have thought that Chris Ianetta was DiPotto’s best move.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:22 AM
Here, have a souvenir ball.
Oops!
Don’t worry, we’ll erect a statue.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:23 AM
Indians 13, Royals 7 — Ubaldo Jimenez was not good — 5 IP, 9 H, 4 ER, 3 BB, 5 K — but it was enough thanks to the bats, with four players homering. I would give the names of each player who went deep, but it’s the Indians. They’re going to have to earn my respect.
HR – T Hafner (2, 5th inning off L Mendoza 0 on, 0 Out),
S Duncan (2, 3rd inning off L Mendoza 2 on, 2 Out),
C Kotchman (2, 8th inning off L Coleman 1 on, 2 Out),
J Kipnis (3, 8th inning off L Coleman 0 on, 2 Out).
April 16th, 2012 at 11:23 AM
Leave Josh alone! At least he’s not Matt Carkner.
/That’s assault brother
//Fuck Shannahan
April 16th, 2012 at 11:24 AM
Here, have a souvenir ball.
Oops!
Don’t worry, we’ll erect a statue.
evil in a funny way
April 16th, 2012 at 11:24 AM
The Padres should have finished that game under protest yesterday. Just utter horseshit.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:24 AM
Looks like the Cubbies could be even worse than the Astros this year, which is god awful.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:25 AM
!!
April 16th, 2012 at 11:25 AM
guillen’s back, just in time for cubs visit and chicago gets to obsess about the narcissist again
April 16th, 2012 at 11:27 AM
The A-Joles was inspired and good work on getting the Halos A.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:27 AM
Leave it to the best baseball fans in the world not to realize they were lucky to have the best years of Al and dodged a bullet with that franchise crippling contract and his decline years
April 16th, 2012 at 11:27 AM
The Marlins home run thingie finally went off yesterday. It was as awful as I expected it to be.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:28 AM
What’s Lisk’s baseball affiliation? Cards? Is that him on the right?
April 16th, 2012 at 11:29 AM
Chris Perez needs to shave that beard down to a goatee. He may become a Kenny Powers doppelganger.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:29 AM
Jason Lisk is carrying on a secret relationship with Eric Hosmer. His beau is the Kansas City Royals.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:30 AM
Chris Perez needs to shave that beard down to a goatee.
i like the shaving method on the old man’s beard in GOT last night
April 16th, 2012 at 11:30 AM
One of those home runs he hit this weekend may just be in orbit right now.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:31 AM
Here’s Hafner’s mammoth HR on SAT night. The fan throw-back of the HR ball is good too.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Rough game yesterday but the White Sox throwbacks were pretty sweet…somehow they’re 5-3 while sporting a team OBP of .291
April 16th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Hafner’s HR yesterday was estimated at 481 feet. It went into the restaurant above the RF seating area. It was a bomb.
Duncan’s was estimated at 456 feet. It hit the wall of the Royals HOF building in LF. It may have been higher than it was long… Also a bomb.
/Have to enjoy it now
//Those sticks won’t last
///Ubaldo is terrible
////The bullpen is a dumpster fire too
April 16th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Actually, they do. Doesn’t mean you can’t be irrationally upset at the guy for leaving.
Also, this is further evidence you shouldn’t wear another man’s name on your back unless you’re his lady, his child, or his would be would-be road beef.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Whammy! Pronk, Duncan and Damon? Watch out Tigers!
April 16th, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Just got an e-mail offering $7 tickets from the Royals tonight to witness Detroit haning 2 touchdowns on us. No thanks. I’ve got laundry to do.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Ubaldo is the God of light. The truth. He sucks.
/At least Pomeranz lost last night
April 16th, 2012 at 11:36 AM
Just got an e-mail offering $7 tickets from the Royals tonight to witness Detroit haning 2 touchdowns on us.
chisox softened em up, and butters, the red and white are ugly
April 16th, 2012 at 11:37 AM
Good god….no one pays attention than hangs out in the restaurant area either…..
April 16th, 2012 at 11:38 AM
Wally
When’s Hagadone or that asian dude getting called up?
April 16th, 2012 at 11:38 AM
////The bullpen is a dumpster fire too
I just learned Dumpster is a brand name.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:38 AM
The hell they are, sure it’s not as good a throwback as the 80s uniforms but I dug them
April 16th, 2012 at 11:40 AM
Does anyone want Mike Pelfrey? Anyone, anyone? If not for him, the Phillies would have been swept at home!
/yes I know it’s only April.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:41 AM
you’re about to choked out with a Hosmer jock-strap.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:41 AM
What’s everyone’s thoughts on the 42s for Jackie Day?
April 16th, 2012 at 11:41 AM
Some feel good news on Monday morning!!!
Man arrested in Baltimore St. Patrick’s Day Beating. More arrests to follow. Glad to see their own videos are gonna lock them up as well.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:41 AM
the “traitor” bit always goes over well. one of my favorites was a sign I saw at a Cleveland game reading “From Thome-nator to Thome-traitor”
April 16th, 2012 at 11:42 AM
You mean Mariano Rivera day right?
April 16th, 2012 at 11:42 AM
The hell they are, sure it’s not as good a throwback as the 80s uniforms but I dug them
Deion Sanders favorite baseball player, right there.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:43 AM
Makes it confusing to figure out who the opposing players are. Especially a team like the Cubs who have so many unrecognizable players now.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:44 AM
What’s everyone’s thoughts on the 42s for Jackie Day?
I like it, but I could see them letting players have it year-round too.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:44 AM
I’m a fan.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:45 AM
I like having a Jackie Robinson Day but I’m not so keen on all the 42s. Maybe just a delegate from each team gets to wear it. Not the whole squad.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:47 AM
I meant it as a poke at the Rangers, not at Hamilton.
/ Sarcasm fail
Makes me wonder, though, when Declan Sullivan will get a statue in South Bend.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:47 AM
Cole Hamels is pitching like a man possessed. He wants his huge payday from the Dodgers at the end of the season.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:47 AM
Number remembrance is bullshit. Go black face or go home.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:47 AM
What’s everyone’s thoughts on the 42s for Jackie Day?
makes me as giddy as Noche Latino
April 16th, 2012 at 11:47 AM
Thanks for the tip in the other thread guys. Also dumped Walker for Infante. Going to drop Tabata for some bullpen action, either Rodney or Chapman.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:47 AM
How about a Roberto Clemente 21 Day????
April 16th, 2012 at 11:49 AM
+1 I believe a team captain designated as the guy who gets to wear it, is sufficient.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:52 AM
Isn’t that how it started? But like most things, a little is never enough.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:53 AM
I believe when it first started, players were allowed to wear the number if they so desired. I guess the problem with that is, those who don’t wear the number will be labeled as racists by morons.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:54 AM
I like having a Jackie Robinson Day but I’m not so keen on all the 42s. Maybe just a delegate from each team gets to wear it. Not the whole squad.
+1 I believe a team captain designated as the guy who gets to wear it, is sufficient.
let’s change it up a bit. how about fans yell racist remarks at the players before a white guy on each team puts his hand on the shoulder of one designated black player at second base and teaches everyone a lesson in tolerance?
April 16th, 2012 at 11:55 AM
Bard looks sharp today.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:55 AM
like being asked if I’d like to donate a dollar to the March of Dimes when I check out at Publix. or when Firehouse Subs asks me if I’d like to round my bill up to the nearest dollar so the change can be donated to firemen supoprt groups or something.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:58 AM
So I’m thinking of taking the plunge and buying the mlb.tv package. Any words of caution that I should know about or is it more than worth it and I should stop being a pussy and buy it already?
April 16th, 2012 at 11:59 AM
What’s Lisk’s baseball affiliation? Cards? Is that him on the right?
First, that dude doesn’t have the requisite upper back hair bursting out of the t-shirt to get to impersonate me. Second, Royals. Not Saint Louis.
April 16th, 2012 at 12:00 PM
words of caution: they only show baseball on that channel.
April 16th, 2012 at 12:01 PM
I agree. One 42 on each team, and one 14 on each team 3 months later.
April 16th, 2012 at 12:02 PM
Sack up!
April 16th, 2012 at 12:03 PM
Miz for three…….. GOOD!
April 16th, 2012 at 12:12 PM
Sack up!
Well said, thanks.
April 16th, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Pee Wee!
April 16th, 2012 at 12:17 PM
I think everyone should wear pinstripes to commemorate Bloated Babe Ruth Day.
Or attack cripples in the stands to commemorate Crazy Ass Ty Cobb Day.
April 16th, 2012 at 12:18 PM
I believe those were Whoopi’s exact words to Ted Danson.
April 16th, 2012 at 12:25 PM
Someone just picked up Varitek in my money league.
Why the fuck is he even on Yahoo
April 16th, 2012 at 12:52 PM
Jackie Robinson day and nary a mention of the 9-1 Dodgers. I’m glad to see the anti Dodger bias is alive and well (And no I don’t care how easy the schedule has been).
Yes. Man up. The top package is worth every damn penny…
April 16th, 2012 at 12:56 PM
Oh no. You will now have to tune into ESPN for your slurping. Just enjoy the 9-1. I don’t want to enjoy their fall back to .500 too much.
April 16th, 2012 at 1:35 PM
They were featured on Friday, jackass. SHUT. IT.
April 16th, 2012 at 2:08 PM
So angry…
April 16th, 2012 at 2:31 PM
And I didn’t even mention the 2-5-6-3 triple play that was video worthy…