Aaron Lynch, Notre Dame’s Best Defensive Player, is Transferring (Possible to the University of South Florida)
Absolutely devastating news to Notre Dame and coach Brian Kelly – freshman star defensive end Aaron Lynch, a top 30 recruit who had 5.5 sacks last season and in a couple years will be a Top 10 NFL draft pick, is leaving the program, the school announced this morning.
Early (unconfirmed) word is that Lynch wants to be closer to home, and he’ll enroll at the University of South Florida this summer.
There had been rumors last week that Lynch was contemplating a transfer, but his mother went on twitter and said he wasn’t going anywhere.
Now, he’s gone.
The Notre Dame defense was formidable last year, and was poised to be even better in 2012, led by Lynch – who at 6-foot-6, 250 pounds kind of reminds me of Jared Allen of the Vikings – and middle linebacker Manti T’eo, who decided to stay for another season.
Lynch finished the year with his best game – five tackles and 1.5 sacks in a bowl game loss to Florida State.
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April 13th, 2012 at 10:05 AM
Cold weather sucks.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
Part of me wants to laugh, but I guess this just isn’t that surprising. Notre Dame just isn’t a player any more. They’re behind Nebraska, and that’s a school that’s fallen big time. Just another team right now, even with all of the pomp and circumstance.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
and in a couple years will be a Top 10 NFL draft pick
What current college basketball player would you compare him to?
April 13th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
They gave up 20.7 points a game, for the record, the 24th best number in the country.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
Mike Woodson.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:08 AM
They still have Tuitt and Williams (both 5-star DEs) who were in the same class, but Lynch was easily the best of the bunch. At least ND fans will have an excuse for finishing 8-4 (at best) for the umpteenth year in a row.
/but they’re back, baby!!!
April 13th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Too much blood and sobriety on campus instead of hot drunks girls wearing tank tops year round.
/Fuck Lady of the Lake
April 13th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
30th in the country in yards allowed.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
That hurts as he seemed like he was going to have a break out year.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Rumor is he got busted for fighting in the dorms. Cops agreed to waive the charges, but he had to get the fuck out of South Bend.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Don’t expect him to look shit like stats up at this point. Though perhaps he thinks 30th is formidable. Maybe we should figure out what top 20, 10 and 5 would be? Stout, beastly and freakish perhaps?
April 13th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Oh, and btw, I started the rumor. So consider the source.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
cut the cord, lady.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:15 AM
Absolutely devastating news to Notre Dame and coach Brian Kelly
Probably the worst thing that’s happened since he got there.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:15 AM
Smart move, kid.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:18 AM
What a great article. It’s going to be a good weekend.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:21 AM
It’s a shame really, couldn’t have happened to a nicer coach.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:21 AM
I think Brian Kelly is a really good coach. I wanted him in Arkansas before Petrino left Atlanta.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
I thought they hired the right guy, too. There’s still time for that to be proven correct, but it’s looking less and less probable each month it seems.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
“You don’t want the truth because, deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that video tower, you need me on that video tower.”
April 13th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
It’s too fucking windy as well.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:24 AM
this cold weather stuff …
let’s just see where he transfers. His family (per that link) is in Ohio now. wonder if Urban Meyer got in their ear …
April 13th, 2012 at 10:25 AM
LOL.
Don’t let Notre Dame fans fool you when they continue to tell you that their college football program is relevant.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:26 AM
He wants to go to Florida. He’s stated as such all day.
Cut to August where I can guarantee I’ll find at least 5 different articles asking, “Is Notre Dame back?”
/vomits
April 13th, 2012 at 10:26 AM
As always, any negative news for ND delights me.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:26 AM
The Brian Kelly U MAD BRO sign at Ann Arbor’s GameDay last year remains a true relic.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:27 AM
For someone who doesn’t say stupid shit that often, this would be an example of saying something stupid.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:28 AM
I know I do. Top 25% ain’t bad. They weren’t a wrecking crew, but they had a good D.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:28 AM
this cold weather stuff …
let’s just see where he transfers. His family (per that link) is in Ohio now. wonder if Urban Meyer got in their ear …
its not cold weather. its the head coach and the coaching staff. all douche bags.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:28 AM
He originally comitted to ND then to FSU and then back to ND right before signing day. I don’t know if I can take another year of Rees starting for ND…could be a brutal year for ND
April 13th, 2012 at 10:29 AM
Hernia puts off the laid-back-as-fuck vibe on the Internets until someone talks mad about his Failin’ Irish.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:31 AM
My wife was at Grand Valley when he coached there. Saw a few games in Mt. P. when he was coaching the Chips. I actually wanted Michigan to hire him before they got RichRod.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:31 AM
But they really aren’t, though. I feel the same way about Nebraska. Sure, Stanford was great with Luck there, but it took a dynamic coach (Harbaugh) and the best QB prospect since Elway to make that happen. That’s a lot to ask. Notre Dame is different. They truly embody the “student-athlete” mantra more than any other traditional program. They’ve been average-to-above-average for what, 30 years now? Nebraska fans feel like it’s been that long for them and they played for a title 11 years ago.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:31 AM
Hernia puts off the laid-back-as-fuck vibe on the Internets until someone talks mad about his Failin’ Irish.
I think chubby, balding ex-hipster Tim is a secretly sensitive fellow
April 13th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
Disagree.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
This. All indications are that while Brian Kelly may be a damn good football coach, he is also a douche bag. Suspect that guys leaving the program will be common under his reign in South Bend.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
OSU’s already loaded at DE. Oh well.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
My hair’s been in the zone lately, broseph. Don’t hate.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
The luster Notre Dame once had is gone, but they’ve had terrible luck with their QBs’ inability to not turn the ball over. This year the schedule is brutal, but in two years I think Kelly will have ND in the BCS
April 13th, 2012 at 10:33 AM
My hair’s been in the zone lately, broseph. Don’t hate.
Link?
April 13th, 2012 at 10:33 AM
Has Brian Kelly called a press conference yet to trash the kid or does that remain strictly the domain of Les Miles?
April 13th, 2012 at 10:33 AM
I used to feel the same way as I just hated Weis and his arrogant FUPA, but I thought Kelly was the guy. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a massive prick, but so is Saban, Meyer, Petrino, Spurrier, et. al. Being a massive prick is almost a requirement to succeed at the highest level as a CFB coach.
/thinks about Saint Richt
//sobs…just a little
April 13th, 2012 at 10:34 AM
The luster Notre Dame once had is gone, but they’ve had terrible luck with their QBs’ inability to not turn the ball over.
Miami has had that problem, too, for oh about the last 9 seasons. At some point it’s time to stop blaming the shitty QBs you recruited, look in the mirror, and realize it’s your own fault for recruiting shitty QBs
April 13th, 2012 at 10:35 AM
Yeah…pretty sure that’s not a luck, issue. More like a coaching and identifying and signing talent issue.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:35 AM
/thinks about Saint Richt
//sobs…just a little
Did you chair catch fire when you thought of him?
April 13th, 2012 at 10:35 AM
It’s gonna be great when Saint Richt gets busted for diddling little boys.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:36 AM
I presume he’s tired of playing football at a basketball school.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:36 AM
This. All indications are that while Brian Kelly may be a damn good football coach, he is also a douche bag. Suspect that guys leaving the program will be common under his reign in South Bend
i know a lot of players are not happy with the coaches.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:36 AM
I transferred to CMU right after he left, but my cousin was a safety under Kelly the 1st 2 years of his college career and didn’t have a bad thing to say about him. He loved the guy.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:37 AM
Notre Dame is different. They truly embody the “student-athlete” mantra more than any other traditional program.
/Looks at those stupid team grade reports things the NCAA puts out
//Notices Miami consistently in the top 5 for over a decade
///Puts down narrative and slowly backs away
April 13th, 2012 at 10:37 AM
Yes, truly the welfare of their students is their primary concern.
/double-handed slow jerk
April 13th, 2012 at 10:37 AM
Who would want to leave this?
April 13th, 2012 at 10:37 AM
That shit goes on everywhere. Hell, there are players not happy with UGAs coaches I’m sure. Perhaps there are a higher number at ND, but I think that’s common. Just wait until Herban starts pushing players out in the next 1-2 years.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:38 AM
Kyle Wright was the top rated QB prospect in the country.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:39 AM
Maybe, but he didn’t have those problems at CMU or Cincinnati.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:39 AM
Meh. I’m never going to knock ND for their academic prowess. It’s top notch for sure, and they demand more from their football players than almost every school, especially Miami.
I’m sure there are several great Saban shit fits if gif form.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:40 AM
because he had better QBs and he wasn’t playing Mich, Mich State, USC, Stanford and the like.
Then they coached him up terribly or they shouldn’t have bought into the hype. He was so terrible.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:40 AM
true…but saban’s got the clout.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
And he’s not from the Big 12 so he still has a chance to be a legit NFL QB.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
Notre Dame just isn’t a player any more..
They’re still a player. That player is Smush Parker.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:42 AM
Seriously it’s a piece of shit cunty school full of cunts doing cunty things sober and in the cold while being screamed at.
/Get’s raped, kills self
//Get’s intern job dies
///Gets ND scholarship, leaves
////Fuck em
April 13th, 2012 at 10:44 AM
notre dame under willingham and weis is no different than alabama under debose and shula. sleeping giant. if they get the right guy in there, not saying kelly isn’t or is, they could find themselves back in the thick of it real quick.
it’s not like they’ve been wholly bereft of talent.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:44 AM
Slow clap for this rant. Well done.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:44 AM
ND’s defensive line should still be OK, but their secondary will be horrible. I believe this is Kelly’s 3rd year coaching at ND so over the next 2 years most of the players starting will be players he has recruited.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:45 AM
Just winning at an “acceptable level”
April 13th, 2012 at 10:45 AM
Had a Brian Kelly rage moment. Where am I?
April 13th, 2012 at 10:46 AM
It was coaching, but the narrative being laid out was that they weren’t bringing in good kids.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:47 AM
At the bar.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:47 AM
NDUB, two of your favorite meme’s in one.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:47 AM
See also: Oklahoma under Blake; Texas under McWilliams & Mackovic
April 13th, 2012 at 10:48 AM
Look at LSU before Saban, USC before Carroll, Oklahoma before Stoops, Nebraska before Pelini. Wait, what?
April 13th, 2012 at 10:48 AM
Forgot to throw in a few WR DUIs in there. But seriously this school is such a paragon of virtue and student-athlete integrity.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:49 AM
Had a Brian Kelly rage moment. Where am I?
glass case of emotion
April 13th, 2012 at 10:49 AM
I agree. And I think Al Golden is that guy at Miami. So I guess I’m saying Miami under Coker and Shannon.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:49 AM
I don’t know about that. When is the last time an Independent did anything in the NFL? Sure Justin Tuck had a few good years, but he regressed last year. But, he also missed some games due to injury. But, his team won the Super Bowl so he’s a winner. Here’s a pic of his wife I’d compare T’eo to Harrison Barnes.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:49 AM
Ha, good one, Gods.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:50 AM
im more optimistic about ND’s future than PSU’s. it’s easier to overcome sustained mediocrity under numerous regimes than it is to rebuild an image that hasn’t changed in over a half century.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:50 AM
So I guess I’m saying Miami under Coker and Shannon.
UTSA is a sleeping giant in the… conference they’re in. Assuming they’re in a conference.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:51 AM
Yeah, probably not.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:51 AM
golden very well could be that dude at miami. he has a very schnelly air about him.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:52 AM
Not to mention, for the next few years at least, ND has a much easier road to the BCS.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:52 AM
This thread needs more Petrino slut: http://thedirty.com/2011/09/1043265/.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:54 AM
If like 70% of ND’s turnovers weren’t unforced I’d be more inclined to agree with this.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:54 AM
This thread needs more Petrino slut:
The second picture is very Zuul-ish
April 13th, 2012 at 10:54 AM
As always, your opinions are backed up with a tremendous amounts of facts.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:55 AM
We talkin’ Cleet jerking off two guys at once in here?
April 13th, 2012 at 10:56 AM
I believe it’s called a Pterodactyl.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:57 AM
Phenomenal work.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:58 AM
I always thought it was called ski-poling.
I was talking more of a sarcastic slow jerk though.
April 13th, 2012 at 10:59 AM
The weather thing makes me wonder how more top recruits don’t go to San Diego State or something. I love cold weather but I never particularly enjoyed playing football in it. And the thought of Spring/Summer practices in the South/Texas doesn’t really appeal to me either.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:00 AM
Brian Kelly sucks
April 13th, 2012 at 11:00 AM
they demand more from their football players than almost every school, especially Miami.
Agreed. Objective measures are for suckers. Gimme an eyeball and a narrative all day, every day
April 13th, 2012 at 11:02 AM
This thread needs more Petrino slut
But does she look thick?
April 13th, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Did those schools go 30 years without being any good? Or did they go 4/30 in terms of successful years?
April 13th, 2012 at 11:03 AM
it’s not just weather…gotta have a fanbase that cares too. also you aint gettin on TV at SDSU.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Yeah…the coursework and majors at Miami are just as difficult as Notre Dame.
/please
April 13th, 2012 at 11:04 AM
But you also don’t have to worry about academic standards at SDSU. I mean, regular students don’t have to worry about that shit over there, why would football players?
April 13th, 2012 at 11:05 AM
And exposure.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:05 AM
they’re pretty difficult…it’s just football players (anywhere, even ND) don’t have to worry about it.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:09 AM
I’d be willing to bet that “Social Sciences” or “Human Studies” classes at both schools are pretty similar.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:09 AM
Let’s be honest, we are not here to argue about the academic attributes of major college football.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:09 AM
Real shit. I graduated High School with a 1.6 GPA and got in off the bat.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:10 AM
I still regret not going to SDSU, too.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:11 AM
Worth pointing out: Miami’s academic rep is not exactly in the shitter. Let’s not get our “THUGS!!! & ‘bortions!!!!” narrative tied into what goes on with the 10,000 non-football players at the school
April 13th, 2012 at 11:11 AM
Not showing off, not falling behind. Nicely done.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:13 AM
DELTA HOUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
April 13th, 2012 at 11:14 AM
LSU was mediocre at best before Saban. They only finished the season ranked in 9 of the previous 25 years. USC had some really lean years between Larry Smith, Ted Tollner, and the second John Robinson stint.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:16 AM
I got a .83 2nd semester Junior year. Junior year was awesome.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:18 AM
The fuck? I didn’t know you could graduate with a 1.6. In college though, don’t you need at least a 2.0 to not get dropped?
April 13th, 2012 at 11:18 AM
Even during Husker’s said ND down time (30 years, which includes a national championship, but whatever) there was a time when USC could not beat ND.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:22 AM
True, but I would be willing to bet that during those 25 years there weren’t 1,000′s of articles claiming “They’re back!” every year. or a fan base that crowned them pre-season champs every year. that is the problem with ND to this day.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:23 AM
22 years. My bad
April 13th, 2012 at 11:23 AM
In High School D’s get diplomas. I never fell below a 3.0 in college, but I think anything sub-2.0 gets you put on probation
April 13th, 2012 at 11:24 AM
this
April 13th, 2012 at 11:25 AM
You say this all the time, but you’re always wrong.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:25 AM
No offense, but how the hell did you get into SDSU? Were your SAT scores super high?
April 13th, 2012 at 11:26 AM
In college though, don’t you need at least a 2.0 to not get dropped?
you can stay as long as you pay
April 13th, 2012 at 11:27 AM
Lol at making up an arbitrary number to make your point, realize arbitrary number is stupid, and then make another arbitrary number. GENIUS!
April 13th, 2012 at 11:28 AM
Well certainly not. There wasn’t really anything for them to come back to.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:28 AM
I don’t feel like looking it up but ND has started something like six or seven of the last ten seasons unranked.
I’m a ND fan and get the hate. But people make WAY too much of them getting loads of favors from the media.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:30 AM
Not even. They just have really low standards. I only applied to schools out of state that had rolling admissions and I did get a 28 on my ACT, but I knew I was going to the Air Force after High School anyway until I tore my ACL right before graduation.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:30 AM
“Looks like heaven’s easier to get into than Arizona State.”
April 13th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Being lazy is easy.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
I suppose I shouldn’t include the entire fanbase, because you seem to be the most level-headed ND football fan I have dealt with. but for every one of you, there is a TSH or j-mac that honestly thinks it to be true every year.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:35 AM
1988 they won a title, yes? They should have played for one in 1993. So if we want to get specific, it’s been 19 years since they were any good. They had two years where they had no business playing in BCS bowls, one year where they did, but were still shit on in the game. So 3 out of 19 years they’ve been elite, and in two of those three years they weren’t really elite, but their name got them into BCS bowls.
Oh, and they aided in killing a student with nary a bit of outrage from the national media.
/last part was totally unnecessary
//but it still boggles my mind
April 13th, 2012 at 11:36 AM
what “favors” do you even get from the media? it’s not like they’re getting an extra win simply because espn gave them 30 seconds on sportscenter. the exposure helps, but it’s not like HS football players haven’t heard of notre dame…even if they’ve had a recent dry spell.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:37 AM
and then they start the year 2-0 by beating someone like Pitt and an over-rated Michigan team and end up being #15 by week 3*.
*except the last 3 years, when they have managed to lose to the previously mentioned over-rated Michigan team
April 13th, 2012 at 11:38 AM
gives me an excuse to post rex’s best work.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:38 AM
Rankings.
Which is SOOOOO much worse than Big Ten teams being able to back into a title game.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:40 AM
but you already mentioned they’re not getting this.
it’s not better or worse…it’s the same thing. but don’t blame ohio state for the rest of the conference sucking and letting them get there. osu held up their part of the on-field bargain.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:42 AM
“Did those schools go 30 years without being any good? Or did they go 4/30 in terms of successful years?”
Are you retarded? ND has been in 3 BCS bowls in the last decade. They would have played for the National Championship in 2005 if not for the illegal Bush Push. ND won the real National Championship in 1993. That is 19 years ago. I guess they don’t teach math at Nebraska. Idiot.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:43 AM
I thought you meant what COULD you get from the media.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:43 AM
Holy shit that;s funny.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:44 AM
But this is what I’m talking about to a certain degree. “Notre Dame hasn’t been good forever” and it actually hasn’t been as long as you you’d like to say. And there are other programs, HUGE PROGRAMS, who have gone through valleys just as long as ND has ACTUALLY gone through. And not for nothing, but they’re still one of the original capo tutti di capis of football since day one.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:45 AM
oh, i did…just figured you already mentioned rankings and didnt want to redundicize.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:46 AM
Fustigation aside, Moe.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:46 AM
like a sicilian would do family business with a filthy mutt irishman. get the fuck out of here.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:48 AM
What a numnuts. What years they went to BCS bowls they didn’t deserve to go based on their record and ranking? How you played in the bowl game is not confirmation that they didn’t deserve the bowl bid ditz—under that logic Nebraska had no business playing in virtually ANY New Year’s Day bowl game for about 3 decades before they finally won a National Championship. Quit rewriting history with your azzclown stupidity.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:50 AM
Obviously math is not a requirement to go the U of Nebraska. I am waiting for the next asinine gem from DumbHuskerFan
April 13th, 2012 at 11:51 AM
I don’t have a fun way to say Don Dadda in Irish Gaelic.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:51 AM
well, that’s the point…did they deserve to go based on how OSU and LSU smoked them in consecutive years? honestly, no idea…cant remember if there were any other worthy teams.
but i have a lot easier time letting ND off the hook for that than i do for a team like hawaii or a conference like the big east and ACC getting an invite.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:52 AM
there’s no way because they’ll always be england’s lil brother.
/gets out of post immediately
April 13th, 2012 at 11:53 AM
its funny how no one seems to have a beef with 7-5 and 8-4 teams going to BCS bowls, but people bitch about a top 10 Notre Dame team at 9-3 or 10-2 going to a BCS bowl game. Azzclowns.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:54 AM
listen, we just didn’t like brady quinn queerin’ up the joint with his silk scarves and kangaroo leather boots.
April 13th, 2012 at 11:58 AM
*backs away from thread*
April 13th, 2012 at 12:00 PM
this article isn’t about big east or acc football, it’s about ND football. if you honestly think people don’t bitch about shitty big east/acc teams getting into BCS bowls, you obviously haven’t been around here much.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:05 PM
I enjoy watching* Notre Dame fans get riled up defending their shitty program.
*Reading from a laptop.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:07 PM
Here are some of the “nonrelevant” unsuccessful seasons ND has had in the past 30 years:
1988 12-0 won National Championship
1989 12-1 ranked #2, won Orange Bowl over #1 Colorado
1990 9-3 lost Orange Bowl to #1 Colo on blown Rocket KO return call, ranked 6th
1991 10-3 won Sugar Bowl over #3 Florida, rank 12
1992 10-1-1 won Cotton Bowl, rank 4
1993 11-1 won National Championship (beat Florida St head to head)
1995 9-3 Orange Bowl, rank 11
1996 8-3 no bowl game despite better record than some major bowl teams
1998 9-3 Gator Bowl
2000 9-3 Fiesta Bowl, finished ranked 15
2002 10-3 Gator Bowl, no BCS bid despite Fla St getting a BCS bid at 8-4, and ND beat FSU head to head that year,rank 17
2005 9-3 Fiesta Bowl, would have played for National Championship but for illegal Bush Push game vs USC, finished ranked 9
2006 10-3 Sugar Bowl,finished ranked 17
Real unsuccessful azzclowns
April 13th, 2012 at 12:11 PM
Funniest post all day.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:12 PM
“I enjoy watching* Notre Dame fans get riled up defending their shitty program.
*Reading from a laptop.”
I enjoy watching idiot azzclowns who don’t know anything about college football making fools of themselves as they slobber all over themselves.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:12 PM
Azzclown? Really? Now I know why I hate people.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:13 PM
this is hilarious. ND still trails Alabama in fictional National Championships though.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:14 PM
“listen, we just didn’t like brady quinn queerin’ up the joint with his silk scarves and kangaroo leather boots”
Brady Quinn will end up having a longer and better NFL career than the QB he lost to in the Sugar Bowl that was a #1 pick
April 13th, 2012 at 12:16 PM
Not if you count the number of times that ND should have been in the title game, which of course they would’ve won.
And if you count the number of times they had better record than some major bowl teams, it’s not even close.
/YesItsHuge
April 13th, 2012 at 12:17 PM
“this is hilarious. ND still trails Alabama in fictional National Championships though”
ND has 11 consensus national championships. Alabama has about 5 azzclown. How’s your motorcycle humpin coach doin? Bangin’ any volleyball players or cycle skanks lately?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:18 PM
“Azzclown? Really? Now I know why I hate people.”
maybe its because you are an azzclown
April 13th, 2012 at 12:21 PM
“and then they start the year 2-0 by beating someone like Pitt and an over-rated Michigan team and end up being #15 by week 3*.”
Notre Dame never plays Pitt at the beginning of the year dipnoodle, they almost always start out playing 3 Big Ten teams, Michigan, Mich St and Purdue. Don’t let the truth get in the way of your azzclown antics though.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:22 PM
Can I buy some drugs from you?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:24 PM
except in 2005. when they opened up the year playing Pitt.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:26 PM
Can someone light JHS’ bat signal please?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:26 PM
Nebraska is so relevant that they pouted after being Texas’ prison beotch for over a decade and took the scraps that Notre Dame left from turning down the Big Ten again, so they could become just another ordinary middle of the road Big Ten program, while Notre Dame still is the only team in the country with an exclusive National TV contract. Dope.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:27 PM
It’s called the Batman lamp, dickface.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:28 PM
dipnoodle >> azzclown
April 13th, 2012 at 12:30 PM
“except in 2005. when they opened up the year playing Pitt”
hence the word “almost”. And that game was NOT supposed to be the first game, but was moved at ABC’s request for TV purposes and ND accomodated them. ND was unranked by the way that year and they shot up to #23 after beating Pitt, disproving your azzclown theory yet again.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:30 PM
http://i.qkme.me/353hxc.jpg
April 13th, 2012 at 12:31 PM
Not offended. Needs more unnecessary “Z”s.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:32 PM
An alien reading this thread would think that Notre Dame was the best football team of the last 20 years. I don’t think we want aliens to get that impression.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:32 PM
i feel like batman should have a lighthouse. and use guns.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:32 PM
I think it’s pretty clear that the thing that’s huge is his inferiority complex.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:33 PM
LMAO at people who call winning at least 9 games over the last few decades a “shitty program”. What a bunch of ignorant dorkmuffins.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:33 PM
Actually I believe the key word was “never”, which is what you said. In your post.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:34 PM
correction—winning at least 9 games in a season over the last few decades 12 times
April 13th, 2012 at 12:35 PM
i feel like batman is lame as fuck and should be kicked out of the Justice League.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:35 PM
I thought they weere a shitty program cause they killed kids and let players rape girls.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:35 PM
well, ahem…/cleans imaginary apple with humblebrag breath apple shining thingee…those people would be fans where 9 wins per year is rather below average.
and also a georgia fan.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:37 PM
dude, no way…do you have any idea how hard it would be to get secuirty clearance for potential justice league secretaries? that’s pretty much what batman is.
“you guys go off into space killing alien lemmy and shit…i got paperwork to do back here at HQ.”
/faps to batgirl manikin
April 13th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
Winning 9+ games 12 times over the span of decades doesn’t sound very good…I mean Wisconsin’s done it 10 times since 1999 and they’re not trumpeting themselves as being the University of College Football
April 13th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
“Actually I believe the key word was “never”, which is what you said. In your post.”
oooh, you got me. They played Pitt one year when they moved the game from its regular middle of the road rotation for TV. And I forgot to include the word “almost” in the first sentence even though its clearly in the second sentence. Wow, you must be a Rhodes Scholar. How’s your azzclown football coach doing? Who you gonna hire now, Tiger Woods, or the skanky cocktail waitress with crabs you banged last night at your mobile home after a wild night in Arkansas?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
I don’t know what the credentials are to get voted into the Justice League, but Space Ghost deserves a spot.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
Serious question: why do you think Tiger Woods be a good fit in Arkansas? I don’t seem to remember him having any connection with the University, but I could be wrong.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
I bet it’s shady as all hell. Lots of kickbacks.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:41 PM
Why would they hire Tiger Woods? He’s a trained Navy SEAL, not a football coach. And they need a new coach now, not 130 days for the skanky cocktail waitress.
/read the selection letter.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:41 PM
I’ll take a Poison Ivy-Catwoman menage.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
“Winning 9+ games 12 times over the span of decades doesn’t sound very good…I mean Wisconsin’s done it 10 times since 1999 and they’re not trumpeting themselves as being the University of College Football”
winning at least 9 games 12 different years in the last 23 years is not the definition of a “shitty” “nonrelevant” football program, unless you are an azzclown.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
No wonder your GPA was so low, you’re a fucking retard.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
Why not all three?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:43 PM
How’d those other 11 go?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:44 PM
“Serious question: why do you think Tiger Woods be a good fit in Arkansas? I don’t seem to remember him having any connection with the University, but I could be wrong.”
no newspapers in your neck of the woods? Where you you live, Hooterville?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:45 PM
dorkmuffin > dipnoodle > azzclown
April 13th, 2012 at 12:45 PM
“How’d those other 11 go?”
How did the worst 11 years of your alma mater’s football program go azzclown?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:45 PM
douche canoe > dorkmuffin > dipnoodle > azzclown
April 13th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
No, sadly the Hooterville Times-Record went out of business. They just couldn’t survive in this digital world.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
no newspapers in your neck of the woods? Where you you live, Hooterville?
Hi-five! He is really quite the azzclown, is he not? God I hate azzclowns
April 13th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
As long as its the Arkham City versions of Poison Ivy & Catwoman, I’d be way down for this.
/high fives
April 13th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
We would have also accepted “dillweed” or “dillhole”.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
ignorant dorkmuffins.
that seals it. this is officially a bit
April 13th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
“I thought they weere a shitty program cause they killed kids and let players rape girls”
What is it like going through life being, almost without exception, the dumbest person in the room?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
Damned quote fail. I feel like an azzclown from Hooterville now
April 13th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
dorkmuffins sound delicious.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
This is a rhetorical question of self-examination, right?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
I stopped counting when I got to 100 wins, a NC, and a BCS blowout of Notre Dame.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
12 seconds in the microwave, MMMmmmm…
April 13th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
You guy’s are just helping hernia’s case that ND is the king of needle movement.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
YesItsHuge = Chris Zorich?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
stress free.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
About 85% sure this is the guy who punched Snooki in the face.
Good Wifi in the rubber room brah?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
Liberating, there’s no pressure to impress others and one can then happily enjoy Family Guy
April 13th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
Holy shit this is gold. GOLD, JERRY!!
April 13th, 2012 at 12:52 PM
“This is a rhetorical question of self-examination, right?”
no, but I have no doubt you like to self examine your hairy azz, limpnoodle.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:52 PM
dude…amen. it’s like you’re reading my dumb mind right now.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:52 PM
It’s more that ND trolls are the easiest to heckle. There’s only 1 of them and he’s a harmless azzclown.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
YesItsHuge needs to be set up on a Sunday blind date with SG and both should be cold called Monday.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
He’s just a simple farfanoogin.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
limpnoodle?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:54 PM
you mean where you said they “almost always start off playing 3 big ten teams in a row.” except for 1999-2009, when they didn’t.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:54 PM
“I stopped counting when I got to 100 wins, a NC, and a BCS blowout of Notre Dame.”
I didn’t ask you how your alma mater did in the last 100 years dogbreath.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:54 PM
So replacing S’s with Z’s is a thing now?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:55 PM
dogbreath.
Are you an 11 year old girl? This sounds like something an 11 year old girl would say to another 11 year old girl who stole her boyfriend during PE.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:55 PM
rirruto?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:56 PM
Interesting take.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:56 PM
While some of what you said made sense, this is pure mouthbreathing.
But damn, ND fans are having a hard time with the realization that they’re now a basketball school.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:56 PM
“Sources close to the situation are reporting that it was, in fact, not huge”
April 13th, 2012 at 12:57 PM
I’m thinking it’s JMac or Timmy using an alias
April 13th, 2012 at 12:57 PM
rirruto?
Reminds me of my favorite line from Lost in Translation:
“Aren’t you going to wish me a good fright?”
April 13th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
I didn’t ask you how your alma mater did in the last 100 years dogbreath.
kaboom.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
“Sources close to the situation are reporting that it was, in fact, not huge”
I think he and SG should have a measuring contest. Her clit might be bigger.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
This has to be referencing some joke I missed from earlier, right? Right? Nobody actually says this as a real insult, right?
April 13th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
Guys, he’s Ron Powlus
April 13th, 2012 at 12:59 PM
The YouTube comments section is apparently one short this morning.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:59 PM
“you mean where you said they “almost always start off playing 3 big ten teams in a row.” except for 1999-2009, when they didn’t.”
in the context of the last 40 years of football—hence the word “almost”
April 13th, 2012 at 12:59 PM
/faps to batgirl manikin
I’ll take a Poison Ivy-Catwoman menage.
Why not all three?
menage a quad? hmmmm
/knows no french
April 13th, 2012 at 12:59 PM
How’d that Fiesta Bowl work out for them?
/Or any other BCS bowl for the last 20 years.
//Was Cotton Bowal a Bowl Colition game back in the day? If so, woo-hoo!
April 13th, 2012 at 1:00 PM
I’m getting Paolo flashbacks
April 13th, 2012 at 1:00 PM
I’m never fucking wrong!
/almost
April 13th, 2012 at 1:00 PM
I’m thinking it’s JMac or Timmy using an alias
Perhaps. I’d like him to become a recurring character with several years of “you wouldn’t believe it if I told you” mythology built up around him only to finally discover he’s some guy I’d never heard of before that wrote an article for ESPN once
April 13th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
I’m getting Paolo flashbacks
Paola would be insulted that you think calling someone “dogbreath” is a high, hard one you bojack ninny.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
Needs more Talia Al Ghul
April 13th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
“Are you an 11 year old girl? This sounds like something an 11 year old girl would say to another 11 year old girl who stole her boyfriend during PE.”
I don’t pay attention to what 11 year old girls are texting each other you creepy pervo nutcakes
April 13th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
good ear, cj.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:02 PM
He’s also used “dorkmuffin”, so I’m going to go with no.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:02 PM
But only if he plugs his new blog.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:02 PM
I call bullshit!
April 13th, 2012 at 1:03 PM
“This has to be referencing some joke I missed from earlier, right? Right? Nobody actually says this as a real insult, right?”
it is if your breath smells like a dog’s you dipdong
April 13th, 2012 at 1:03 PM
Enough with the ND YesItsHuge, please tell us about the first time you were arrested?
/Charske it a tough act to follow but do not fret we’re all friends here
April 13th, 2012 at 1:04 PM
/Crosses off “ATL_Badger” on the list of who this could possibly be
//Underlines “Ron Powlus” twice
April 13th, 2012 at 1:04 PM
I don’t pay attention to what 11 year old girls are texting each other you creepy pervo nutcakes
I presume you were 11 years old once, perhaps aren’t that many years removed from being so, but I recall when I was in middle school girls calling each other things like ‘dogbreath’, ‘dorkmuffin’, and ‘nutcake’. Your choice of insults is amusingly interesting to say the least.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:04 PM
I don’t pay attention to what 11 year old girls are texting each other you creepy pervo nutcakes
I want in on those texts. That sounds awesome.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:05 PM
Totally forgot about her. Yeah, take off Batgirl, add Talia in this fray.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:05 PM
Pervo nutcakes? We have a new winner. Pervo nutcakes has me near tears. That’s just too fucking much. Pervo nutcakes??? Really?
April 13th, 2012 at 1:06 PM
Your choice of insults is amusingly interesting to say the least.
he’s trying to win an argument (that’s unwinnable) against a room full of people, but he’s mostly worried about the moderation filter.
Let loose, dude. You can say cock money, uncle fucker, or mexican. Just don’t try and say s0c1al1st.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:06 PM
Word. Just keep Wonder Woman away. She’s a freakin amazon after all.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:06 PM
Sounds like something you’d say in Hooterville.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:07 PM
/Crosses off “ATL_Badger” on the list of who this could possibly be
Dammit. I have this awesome Louis CK clip to link if ATL ever shows up again but it’s on my home computer and I can’t search through that shit at work.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:07 PM
gotsta go azzclowns. Have fun with your mutual reacharound party.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:08 PM
Ah, too bad. You were going to be the lead engine.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:08 PM
Bear, Butters, Spence, SC, Stark, everyone else… I’ve never been prouder of you all than right now.
/wipes a single tear away
April 13th, 2012 at 1:08 PM
I put here.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:09 PM
gotsta go azzclowns. Have fun with your mutual reacharound
Oh. It’s you, isn’t it? The smelling each others farts guy? Warming up for some NBA playoffs power usage under a new name, right?
April 13th, 2012 at 1:10 PM
/coop’d
April 13th, 2012 at 1:10 PM
Oh. It’s you, isn’t it? The smelling each others farts guy? Warming up for some NBA playoffs power usage under a new name, right?
it couldn’t be that guy. He had a career he cared about.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:10 PM
Sunnyside generally doesn’t know how to use the shift key so I’ve ruled him out.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Ohhh! I forgot we can say Mexican now. Mexican. Mexican Mexican!
April 13th, 2012 at 1:11 PM
They’ve started off the season playing those 3 teams like 6 times since 1980.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:12 PM
“Ah, too bad. You were going to be the lead engine.”
I’ve got chunks of punks like you in my stool.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:13 PM
Maybe, but I bet they don’t have soft hands, like I do.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:13 PM
Ron, how are you making $250,000 at the local Walmart if it appears your only interests are “kicking ass?”
April 13th, 2012 at 1:13 PM
I’ve got chunks of punks like you in my stool.
So you’re less about the reacharound and more about giving oral sex? That’s quite generous of you.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:13 PM
YesItsHuge is the worst.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:15 PM
Link unrelated, but awesome
April 13th, 2012 at 1:15 PM
JHS has arrived. Later YesItsHuge, you dorkmuffinpervonutcakewithdogsbreath.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:16 PM
I’ve got chunks of punks like you in my stool.
So you eat people? That’s awful
April 13th, 2012 at 1:17 PM
lmao at the fact that Harbaugh turned down the coaching job at Michigan. Priceless. On that note, have fun playing tummy sticks together fellath.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:17 PM
So 5 relevant seasons in the last 15? Yup, that sums it up.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:17 PM
YesItsHuge is the worst.
Are you a pervo nutcakes or something JHS? YesItsHuge is the scourge of dorkmuffin azzclowns like you
April 13th, 2012 at 1:17 PM
Wow. I picked the wrong Friday to actually get some work done.
Playing the azzclown and dipnoodle cards is strong – you better know what kind of power that yields. This may be contending for thread of the year.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:18 PM
have fun playing tummy sticks together fellath
Types with a lisp. The mystery intensifies…
April 13th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Maybe he uses one of those Dragon Naturally Speaking softwares.
That would make a lot of sense for a well kept together guy like he is.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:23 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TylvUGJIi_w
April 13th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
“So 5 relevant seasons in the last 15? Yup, that sums it up.”
those 5 seasons were in the last 13 year scrotumbreath. And ND is ALWAYS relevant, and always will be. In fact, they are the ONLY college football program that is always relevant. And that is really what bunches your panties in a wad, doesn’t it fellath?
April 13th, 2012 at 1:27 PM
Let’s count:
1:1997, 2:1998, 3:1999, 4:2000, 5:2001, 6:2002, 7:2003, 8:2004, 9:2005, 10:2006, 11:2007, 12:2008, 13:2009, 14:2010, 15:2011
April 13th, 2012 at 1:27 PM
You know, genital herpes are also relevant.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:28 PM
Big Ron,
What kind of course work is involved majoring in ‘Kicking Your Ass’ at the University Of Central Oklahoma?
April 13th, 2012 at 1:28 PM
So there’s not really any urgent reason that you’ve got to go, I take it
April 13th, 2012 at 1:31 PM
disagree. serious heat being brought in this thread thanks to him. he is poster of the day material.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:33 PM
I think releveant is being generous. More like 2, the rest were on the outside of relevancy looking in.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:40 PM
Reading this thread is like playing Call of Duty without muting the other players’ mics first.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
This post is the G rated version of this classic scene
April 13th, 2012 at 2:12 PM
So how long before YesItsHuge says his account was hacked and he didn’t post those idiotic rantings?
April 13th, 2012 at 2:21 PM
This brightened my day. Dorkmuffin is my favorite. It sounds like something DJ Tanner used to call Stephanie when she read her diary.
April 13th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
Pervo nutcakes sounds like something Michelle called Joey when she caught him jerking off in her closet.
April 13th, 2012 at 3:08 PM
Is YesitsHuge a regular here? He needs to become one.
April 13th, 2012 at 5:21 PM
Reading this thread is like playing Call of Duty without muting the other players’ mics first.
+1 9-year-old dropping F-bombs
April 13th, 2012 at 11:21 PM
Implying that Notre Dame wasn’t invited because they get a bunch of in-breeders to go to their games.
2001 Fiesta Bowl Oregon St. 41 – Notre Dame 9 (OREGON STATE, not Oregon)
2006 Fiesta Bowl Ohio St. 34 – Notre Dame 20
2007 Sugar Bowl LSU 41 – Notre Dame 14 (Owned by Obese JaMarcus Russell causing NFL Draft Marks to Rate him Highly and ultimately becoming the biggest Draft Bust since Ryan Leaf)
Yeah, they earned it. Their name had nothing to do with their bid. Notre Dame is to Football, what the Kardashians are to TV.