Roundup: The Simpsons and Springfield, Fight in the Stands at the Blue Jays Opener & Tony Romo is a Father

All, Athletes and Celebrities, Baseball, College Basketball, College Football, Facebook, Former Athletes, NBA, NBA Draft, NFL, NHL, Roundup, Video Jason McIntyre April 11th. 2012, 8:04am

Holly Madison … an 8.6 earthquake rocked the Indian Ocean overnight … if you’re fat, don’t apply to work at this hospital … guy goes on murder rampage after getting upset his ex-girlfriend had moved on … I’m going to the wrong restaurants (that’s Lucy Pinder and friends) … 50 Must-Try Hoppy Beers … Brooklyn Decker, bikini, Australia … you’ll be shocked to hear porn websites get pretty decent traffic … Simpsons fans, the real Springfield is … 10 felonies in a 9-hour span? … it’d be cool if one of you Steelers fans won this … Hillary Clinton is cool … “boy, 5, brings heroin for show and tell” … George Zimmerman’s attorneys quit … “Bomb threat forces emergency landing of Korean Air flight in Comox” …

Arkansas AD Jeff Long with a mighty impressive performance Tuesday night. [CBS Sports]

This might be the funniest Daniel Snyder height-related post in the history of the internet. [DC Sports Bog]

Tony Romo is now a Dad. His wife, Candice, gave birth to their son, Hawkins. [Star Telegram]

Paul Richardson, one of the best receivers in the Pac-12, suffered a knee injury and is out for the season. [Post]

Mike Alstott is now coaching high school football in Florida. [TBO.com]

The NHL playoffs begin tonight. We’ll have a preview later. Gotta love the Penguins, right? [Tribune Review]

Jeremy Lamb is leaving UConn early for the NBA. Top 10 lock. [Courant]

Is anyone still talking about Ozzie Guillen, or is it all Petrino, all the time? [Herald]

Why is Instagram worth $1 billion to Facebook and Zuckerberg? [Sun Times]

Indiana problems: The Hoosiers have 14 players but only 13 scholarships because everyone is coming back. [Star]

Lee Jenkins wrote about JaVale McGee. [Sports Illustrated]

Mason Plumlee staying at Duke, which is good news for Coach K. But the Blue Devils will still have offensive issues. [Observer]

Guy breaks up altercation on a Subway by … standing up, saying nothing, and eating chips.

Man walking and texting nearly runs into a bear in California.

Mostly just pushing and shoving for the first 17 seconds, but then you’ll see two big punches. [via Deadspin]

aroundtheweb

265 Responses to “Roundup: The Simpsons and Springfield, Fight in the Stands at the Blue Jays Opener & Tony Romo is a Father”

1
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:11 AM
Peggy Howell, spokeswoman for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, told HLN that the requirement raised a number of questions that expose the hospital as discriminatory. “This new policy is a clear example of weight bias and fat hatred…
That article is loaded with gems like above.
2
Senator Jersey Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:11 AM
I’m just wondering what the move is if you’re chilling on the beach and all of a sudden, you see Teigen, Decker, and Andrews just show up and start putting towels down…
3
TheRealAC Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:12 AM
Simpsons fans, the real Springfield is …
i was hoping for the state that’s round on the outside and HI in the middle…
4
reggie_dunlap Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:12 AM
Man walking and texting nearly runs into a bear in California
For a split second you can see him crap his pants as he looked up.
CJ: would it be appropriate that Petrino’s $20,000 girlfriend give back her diamond ring to her fiance and how fast should she do it?
5
reggie_dunlap Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:13 AM
Damn iPad quote fail.
6
PurdueMatt Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:14 AM
“Indiana problems: The Hoosiers have 14 players but only 13 scholarships.”
Time for the annual “spring creaning” in Bloomington.
7
guinnessgirl13 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:18 AM
Mike Alstott is now coaching high school football in Florida.
Good for Mike!
8
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:24 AM
Indiana problems: The Hoosiers have 14 players but only 13 scholarships because everyone is coming back
And none of them play any defense.
9
kazzythekid Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:24 AM
Glaring omission from the hoppy beers list, Heavy Seas: Loose Cannon.
10
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:25 AM
I’m just wondering what the move is if you’re chilling on the beach and all of a sudden, you see Teigen, Decker, and Andrews just show up and start putting towels down…
you drop trou.
11
captain_spalding Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:25 AM
here is better video of the bear attack on the neighbor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO2oCDSH-SU
12
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:26 AM
what the move is if you’re chilling on the beach and all of a sudden, you see Teigen, Decker, and Andrews just show up and start putting towels down…
step one, put on sunglasses
step two, throw football in sand over by them…
13
Caribou Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:26 AM
Holly Madison
Out of all of the Girls Next Door, I thought she seemed the most normal. Though, is “white” hair a natural color????
14
Caribou Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:31 AM
Man walking and texting nearly runs into a bear in California.
Damn, Man vs Beast didn’t have the interaction I was hoping for there.
15
jimmy Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:31 AM
Solid group of videos this morning.
16
mmonast Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:32 AM
Though, is “white” hair a natural color????
It is if your name is Powder
17
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:34 AM
Daniel Snyder height-related post
Snyder looks out of place in a golf shirt and tennis shoes. He should only wear a blue suit and tie, at all times. Even at the beach.
18
QueeferSutherland Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:35 AM
That article is loaded with carbs and fat.
– NAAFA
19
Caribou Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:36 AM
Guy breaks up altercation on a Subway by … standing up, saying nothing, and eating chips.
I got you on camera, don’t follow her.
That’s some serious Concerned Citizen there.
/goes back to playing Angry Birds on smartphone
20
sousedbergin Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:37 AM
“boy, 5, brings heroin for show and tell”
A tough act to follow.
21
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:37 AM
Though, is “white” hair a natural color????
Announcer: It’s “The Pat Stevens Show”, with your host, Pat Stevens.
Pat Stevens: Thank you! Hello, everybody, I’m Pat Stevens, welcome to “The Pat Stevens Show”! …. Barbara.. well. I’d like to congratulate George on his starling victory in New Hampshire, he’s doing well in the south, he’s had a wonderful reign as Vice-President.. tell me – are you proud of your son?
Barbara Bush: Pat.. George is not my son, he’s my husband.
Pat Stevens: Oh, heavens! I guess I dropped a fly in your soup! Well, she looks so much older!
22
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:40 AM
CJ: would it be appropriate that Petrino’s $20,000 girlfriend give back her diamond ring to her fiance and how fast should she do it?
Well yeah, if youre a decent human being. But she likes riding crusty old men, so her ability to make good decisions is questionable. I think the rule is, if you do the cheating, you give the ring back ASAP. If you get cheated on, fuck him, sell the ring.
23
Caribou Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:41 AM
I’m going to the wrong restaurants (that’s Lucy Pinder and friends)
Yes to all four, even the crazy-possessed looking one on the far right.
24
payaso Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:42 AM
I’m going to the wrong restaurants (that’s Lucy Pinder and friends)
Someday you’ll see Pinder at Red Lobster. Someday.
25
Urinal Mint Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:42 AM
CJ: would it be appropriate that Petrino’s $20,000 girlfriend give back her diamond ring to her fiance and how fast should she do it?
I’d rather have the cash. Keep the ring.
26
Urinal Mint Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:45 AM
Also not on that list: Green Flash Palate Wrecker
27
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:45 AM
Man walking and texting nearly runs into a bear in California.
Speaking of bears, if no Penguins fans are dressed up in bear costumes tonight, I will be incredibly disapointed in them.
28
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:45 AM
Guy breaks up altercation on a Subway by … standing up, saying nothing, and eating chips
actually, the entire rest of the subway car came to life and contributed to stopping that little incident.
This reminds me of a story way too long to tell you, so I won’t. Just know, I’m the hero of it.
29
sousedbergin Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:45 AM
Mostly just pushing and shoving for the first 17 seconds, but then you’ll see two big punches.
Despite beer class warfare the people will not be prevented from Bro’ing down at Toronto baseball games.
/They limited beer purchases to one at a time in the upper deck
//Piss Beer is 12 dollars
///People just get drunker before the game
30
Urinal Mint Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:47 AM
Someday you’ll see Pinder at Red Lobster. Someday.
Not before the sighting at Olive Garden.
31
Urinal Mint Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
This reminds me of a story way too long to tell you, so I won’t. Just know, I’m the hero of it.
Is this the time CJ gave the Heisman to the poor guy stroking out on her shoulder, and you swept in to rescue him after she ditched the train?
32
spencer096 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
we talkin’ bears up in here?
/team kodiak
//also coop’d
33
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
Tony Romo is now a Dad. His wife, Candice, gave birth to their son, Hawkins.
that kid is three quarters white by blood, and now possesses the most pretentious white person name I’ve ever heard.
34
squawkbox Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
The ax is in Jake’s head, and the gun is in Brian’s hand
I’m sure this girl will lead a normal and fulfilled rest of her life.
35
guinnessgirl13 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
If you get cheated on, fuck him, sell the ring.
Been there, done that.
36
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
This reminds me of a story way too long to tell you, so I won’t. Just know, I’m the hero of it.
feel free to go ahead and tell it. use multiple comments if you’d like.
37
Nolan Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
Peggy Howell, spokeswoman for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, told HLN that the requirement raised a number of questions that expose the hospital as discriminatory. “This new policy is a clear example of weight bias and fat hatred. How will their fat patients be treated if they are requiring their employees to meet a BMI requirement?”
A fat advocate named Peggy? No way!
38
Roethlishotdog Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
Speaking of bears, if no Penguins fans are dressed up in bear costumes tonight, I will be incredibly disapointed in them.
I’m hoping they play this.
39
KingGrizz Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
Hawkins Romo will be in a fraternity in a private southern school. He also will wear a distressed white hat of said college and wear a puka shell necklace.
40
arkbadger Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
Well yeah, if youre a decent human being
I think the fact that she was banging probably the most high-profile person in the state, and obviously not trying all that hard to hide it, and still planning on a wedding in June shows what kind of person she is.
41
johndewar Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:50 AM
Tony Romo is now a Dad. His wife, Candice, gave birth to their son, Hawkins. [Star Telegram]
I see a college lacrosse career in that kid’s future. He certainly has the name for it.
42
HtownHacker Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
Is this the time CJ gave the Heisman to the poor guy stroking out on her shoulder,
I thought that was SG?
43
HawkEye Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
50 Must-Try Hoppy Beers
TBL already tried one of those. Said it was OK, but he’ll go back to his Rolling Rock.
And no, I’m not making that one up
44
arkbadger Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
we talkin’ bears up in here?
hey you, bear fucker.
45
johndewar Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
The NHL playoffs begin tonight. We’ll have a preview later. Gotta love the Penguins, right? [Tribune Review]
No. No I don’t.
/Flyers fan
46
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
Hawkins Crawford Romo. He has no chance of not becoming a douchebag. What a shame.
47
spencer096 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
hawkins romo? of the plano romo’s?
48
QueeferSutherland Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:53 AM
The stupidity of high-profile people never ceases to amaze me. Most recognized figure in the state of Arkansas? Why not take your 25-year-old fuck buddy on a motorcycle ride. What could go wrong?
49
johndewar Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
Mostly just pushing and shoving for the first 17 seconds, but then you’ll see two big punches. [via Deadspin]
I guess Toronto was fired up about Brian Burke’s rousing press conference yesterday.
50
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Needs a photo of Candice Romo with the enhanced post-baby rack
51
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Hawkins Crawford Romo. He has no chance of not becoming a douchebag. What a shame.
at least he didn’t name him Scrambler. Or Patton (because patton was a field general).
52
HawkEye Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:56 AM
Someday you’ll see Pinder at Red Lobster. Someday.
Huh, by his tweets, I would have thought that J-Mac had moved on to Applebees.
53
KingGrizz Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
Hawkins Romo will also have a lake house with a huge boat.
54
Urinal Mint Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:58 AM
I thought that was SG?
It was. Thanks.
55
spencer096 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
wonderful…today is loud persian coworker morning.
i wish the police gave us one freebie to use at any time…id cut off his tongue.
56
Sir Spicious Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
The NHL playoffs begin tonight. We’ll have a preview later. Gotta love the Penguins, right?
Gotta love the team that drew the toughest match-up, and it being a bitter rival to boot? I don’t share Dejan’s confidence.
57
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
Huh, by his tweets, I would have thought that J-Mac had moved on to Applebees.
he doesn’t eat there. His twitter acolytes eat there, at his request. And they talk about how cool he is for the rad suggestion, and wonder why they hadn’t given Applebee’s more run.
58
Urinal Mint Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:00 AM
huge boat.
He’ll inherit the boat that Jessica Simpson bought Tony before they split
59
Pastor of Muppets Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:00 AM
The NHL playoffs begin tonight. We’ll have a preview later. Gotta love the Penguins, right?
Nope. But I do love the idea of a Philly-Pittsburgh opening series. Can’t wait to watch them beat the piss out of each other during that series.
Not going to lie, sweating the B’s-Caps series a little. Much rather would have liked to face Ottawa.
60
Senator Jersey Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:00 AM
The funny thing is Hawkins is a town in Texas AND in Wisconsin. I see you, Tony.
I love how everyone hates this kid’s name. Geez.
61
Urinal Mint Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:00 AM
Tony would’ve done well marrying into that Jessica Simpson bloodline. She’s filthy rich. Just wait on ol’ helicopter dad to die and you’ve got it made.
62
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:01 AM
Is this the time CJ gave the Heisman to the poor guy stroking out on her shoulder,
I thought that was SG?
it was sportsgal. cj would have been more of a humanitarian. sportsgal? well, that dickface stroked out in her personal space on the subway…ruined her fucking morning.
63
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
The Hawkmen from Flash Gordon > Connie Hawkins > Sophie B. Hawkins > Hawkshaw Hawkins > LaTroy Hawkins
64
KingGrizz Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
THe Jessica Simpson “Boots were made for walking” video is a CLASSIC.
65
Urinal Mint Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
I bet they shorten it up to “Hawk” as a respeck bump to the Native Americans.
66
phillymantis915 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:03 AM
But I do love the idea of a Philly-Pittsburgh opening series. Can’t wait to watch them beat the piss out of each other during that series.
Neither can I…
/Flyers in 6
67
spencer096 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:03 AM
I bet they shorten it up to “Hawk” as a respeck bump to the Native Americans.
and hogan, since romo’s a golfer.
68
johndewar Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:04 AM
The Hawkmen from Flash Gordon > Connie Hawkins > Sophie B. Hawkins > Hawkshaw Hawkins > LaTroy Hawkins
Needs more Hersey Hawkins
69
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:04 AM
Tony would’ve done well marrying into that Jessica Simpson bloodline. She’s filthy rich. Just wait on ol’ helicopter dad to die and you’ve got it made.
Some fat people live a shockingly long time thanks to modern medicine. Romo’s wife is not as hot as Barry Zito’s wife, but she’s damn close.
70
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
it was sportsgal. cj would have been more of a humanitarian. sportsgal? well, that dickface stroked out in her personal space on the subway…ruined her fucking morning.
To be fair, I hate subways, and if any stranger touched me for any reason I would get completely skeeved out.
71
guinnessgirl13 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
it was sportsgal. cj would have been more of a humanitarian. sportsgal? well, that dickface stroked out in her personal space on the subway…ruined her fucking morning.
Ha!
72
QueeferSutherland Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
Needs more Hersey Hawkins
How is Wynona Hawkins not in the chain somewhere?
73
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
Some fat people live a shockingly long time thanks to modern medicine. Romo’s wife is not as hot as Barry Zito’s wife, but she’s damn close.
this comment needs some adderall.
74
KingGrizz Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
The Hawkmen from Flash Gordon > Connie Hawkins > Sophie B. Hawkins > Hawkshaw Hawkins > LaTroy Hawkins
Road Warrior Hawk
75
payaso Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
I love how everyone hates this kid’s name. Geez.
A lot of teachers are gonna freak out when they call your son Preston during roll call and a black kid raises his hand.
76
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
I love how everyone hates this kid’s name. Geez.
it was probably the wife anyway. One of those names that comes prepackaged. Crawford was her maiden name, and Hawkins was probably her mom’s maiden name or something. And Tony Romo just goes along with it, because that’s easy than trying to give the kid some Latin sounding name.
77
Roethlishotdog Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
Gotta love the team that drew the toughest match-up, and it being a bitter rival to boot? I don’t share Dejan’s confidence.
Really the whole division got screwed. The three best teams (points wise) come from the division, yet if seedings hold they’re going to have to beat the piss out of each other just to get to the Eastern Finals. Hopefully, the 6/7 seed pulls an upset so the Flyers/Pens winner doesn’t draw the Rangers right away.
Really, this is so easy to fix Bettman. Just guarantee the division winners a Top 4 seed so they have home ice, but allow one team to jump them if they have a better record. The Pens would be the 2 seed, the Flyers the 5 playing the Panthers. Much “fairer”.
78
arkbadger Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
Tony would’ve done well marrying into that Jessica Simpson bloodline. She’s filthy rich.
I think he saw her potential to eat everything in sight and turn into a nose tackle and used his QB awareness to escape the pocket ASAP.
79
Caribou Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
Needs a photo of Candice Romo with the enhanced post-baby rack
You just know those puppies are bursting to get out. Candice pic (pre-baby)
I guess things are bigger in Texas
80
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
if there wasn’t an asian stereotype who turned into a tornado, Hawkman would be the worst superhero I’ve ever seen in a cartoon.
81
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
I guess things are bigger in Texas
she’s from Missouri.
82
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
THe Jessica Simpson “Boots were made for walking” video is a CLASSIC.
+1 carwash scene
Her looks had a Terrell Davis-like career. 2-3 great years with a sad aftermath.
83
HawkEye Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
Sophie B. Hawkins
Going back to the depths for that one. Nice
84
Jim Harbaugh Scramble Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
Mike Alstott is now coaching high school football in Florida.
One of the most overrated players ever.
THe Jessica Simpson “Boots were made for walking” video is a CLASSIC
Yes, yes it was.
85
KC Resident Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
he doesn’t eat there. His twitter acolytes eat there, at his request. And they talk about how cool he is for the rad suggestion, and wonder why they hadn’t given Applebee’s more run
I won some award and got a $25 gift card to Applebees. I hadn’t eaten there in several years. Everything tastes the same. And not the good kind of same.
86
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
THe Jessica Simpson “Boots were made for walking” video is a CLASSIC.
It’s great because her Newlyweds show was still on the air back then, and they showed right after she did that video and the Dukes movie, she pigged out on mac n cheese and got a horrible stomachache and gas because she had eaten nothing but lettuce in order to fit in those daisy dukes. The girl was just not destined to be naturally thin.
87
RexKramerDangerSeeker Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:12 AM
This might be the funniest Daniel Snyder height-related post in the history of the internet.
That first pic needs Hands-Clasped CRM added next to Snyder.
/oh, wait.
88
SouvenirCity Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
Hawkins is a surname, Tony. Or something you name your small pet bird for laughs.
89
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
I won some award and got a $25 gift card to Applebees. I hadn’t eaten there in several years. Everything tastes the same. And not the good kind of same.
Ha, yup I got a gift card a few Christmases ago so we went and I got these wanton taco things.. I thought I was going to die of a salt overdose.
90
VladimirCrouton Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
But I do love the idea of a Philly-Pittsburgh opening series. Can’t wait to watch them beat the piss out of each other during that series.
Great series. Hopefully the Flyboys don’t have to kill off multiple 5 on 3′s a game. You know the refs will allow Sid and Geno to hack away with immunity.
91
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
A lot of teachers are gonna freak out when they call your son Preston during roll call and a black kid raises his hand.
I don’t get it. the only Preston I’ve ever known was a black kid I grew up with.
92
MP III Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
Needs a photo of Candice Romo with the enhanced post-baby rack
its amazing what having a child does to the rack. its like a boob job.
93
Jay V Of Considerable Influence Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
Arkansas AD Jeff Long with a mighty impressive performance Tuesday night.
Why is doing the ONLY thing he could do considered “mighty impressive”? I mean I respect what he did…but all this internet ass-kissing…highly unnecessary…Long had NO OTHER CHOICE.
94
KC Resident Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
Mizerle -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preston_Pearson
95
HawkEye Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
I won some award and got a $25 gift card to Applebees. I hadn’t eaten there in several years. Everything tastes the same. And not the good kind of same.
Back in high school, I thought the wings were pretty good. Probably not anymore, though.
96
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
its amazing what having a child does to the rack. its like a boob job.
Chafed, sore nipples included!
97
arkbadger Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
she pigged out on mac n cheese and got a horrible stomachache and gas because she had eaten nothing but lettuce in order to fit in those daisy dukes. The girl was just not destined to be naturally thin.
I dated a girl like that in college. they are pretty easy to spot.
98
A.P. (artist formerly TJ21) Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Damn!
/sophie b. hawkins’d
//also what i said when i saw Chris Bosh continue to be KG’s bitch last night
99
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
I don’t get it. the only Preston I’ve ever known was a black kid I grew up with.
The name Preston reminds me of sweater vests and country clubs
100
Jim Harbaugh Scramble Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
if there wasn’t an asian stereotype who turned into a tornado, Hawkman would be the worst superhero I’ve ever seen in a cartoon.
the african american superfriends stereotype (black Vulcan?) was also horrible.
101
KingGrizz Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
Back in high school, I thought the wings were pretty good. Probably not anymore, though.
The ‘Bees does have a good happy hour — in terms of pricing, not scene. Though this line of conversation made me think of the movie “Hall Pass.” Its on Showtime all the time and I watch it alot — Nikki Whelan is incendiary.
102
Urinal Mint Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
Romo’s wife is not as hot as Barry Zito’s wife, but she’s damn close.
And a Mizzou alum, so now he has SEC ties.
103
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
its amazing what having a child does to the rack. its like a boob job.
Yeah, until you’re done milking and they droop down to your belly button
104
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
Long had NO OTHER CHOICE.
meh…Tony Barnhart has a better column about it than the one Jace linked. I’d link it for you but I’ve already closed that tab out.
105
guinnessgirl13 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:19 AM
It’s great because her Newlyweds show was still on the air back then,
I watched that show. I liked Nick. He is better off without her.
106
illformula Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
i wish the police gave us one freebie to use at any time…id cut off his tongue.
one per lifetime or annually? if it’s only one for my life, goodbye Bono.
107
HawkEye Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
Yeah, until you’re done milking and they droop down to your belly button
Eh, depends on the original size
108
VladimirCrouton Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
Could have just chopped off Petrino’s arm with a cleaver!
109
Jim Harbaugh Scramble Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
Don’t get me wrong, Applebee’s blows. However, their halfoff appetizers during happy hour are passable if you have a giftcard that you need to use.
110
Urinal Mint Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
I think he saw her potential to eat everything in sight and turn into a nose tackle and used his QB awareness to escape the pocket ASAP.
She has that Kirstie Alley aura, that’s for sure.
111
RexKramerDangerSeeker Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:21 AM
Chafed, sore nipples included!
Every single one of us, with the possible exclusion of CJ, just thought “Go on…”.
112
Senator Jersey Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:21 AM
A lot of teachers are gonna freak out when they call your son Preston during roll call and a black kid raises his hand.
Haha. Preston. I actually do not hate that. But it’s gonna be Buster.
113
spencer096 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:21 AM
one per lifetime or annually? if it’s only one for my life, goodbye Bono.
i figure lifetime…annually would be a fucking disaster. but i def like your choice of target.
114
johndewar Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
It’s great because her Newlyweds show was still on the air back then,
I watched that show. I liked Nick. He is better off without her.
He dodged a bullet, I think. He would have hated life, watching her double-fist turkey legs while running the “These Boots Are Made for Walking” video on a loop on his mobile phone.
115
phillymantis915 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
Haha. Preston. I actually do not hate that. But it’s gonna be Buster
I already told my wife that we’re having normal named kids. No weird names for me.
116
Jay V Of Considerable Influence Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
Could have just chopped off Petrino’s arm with a cleaver!
Now there’s an idea…
117
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
one per lifetime or annually? if it’s only one for my life, goodbye Bono.
you wouldn’t steal a billion dollars, hire a mad scientist to build a time machine, then use that time machine to go back in time and kill the mad scientist as a sane boy, just so you could die in a paradox?
118
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
I watched that show. I liked Nick. He is better off without her.
I love Nick and Vanessa. I watched their wedding special a year ago… they are adorable.
119
Jim Harbaugh Scramble Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
I watched that show. I liked Nick. He is better off without her.
ha, no he’s not. she had the $$$$$.
Nikki Whelan is incendiary.
her see through bikini pics are legendary.
120
Pastor of Muppets Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
Really, this is so easy to fix Bettman. Just guarantee the division winners a Top 4 seed so they have home ice, but allow one team to jump them if they have a better record. The Pens would be the 2 seed, the Flyers the 5 playing the Panthers. Much “fairer”.
I like that. You’re right, that division did get hosed this year. Sometimes I think it would be greatfor the NHL to play a balanced schedule and just go Top 8 in each conference by points. But then you lose the Boston-Montreal, Philly-Pittsburgh, Detroit-Colorado (remember when those teams despised each other?) rivalries.
121
Roethlishotdog Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
I don’t get it. the only Preston I’ve ever known was a black kid I grew up with.
My kid’s middle name is Preston.
/wife wanted something different/unique
//her favorite movie is Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
122
johndewar Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
Yeah, until you’re done milking and they droop down to your belly button
Eh, depends on the original size
If they were less than perky before a first child, child birth (and gravity) will not help that situation (from what I have observed).
123
phillymantis915 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
you wouldn’t steal a billion dollars, hire a mad scientist to build a time machine, then use that time machine to go back in time and kill the mad scientist as a sane boy, just so you could die in a paradox?
Mind. Blown. Or just travel in time and kill Hitler and see the Russians invade Europe.
/Red Alert’d
124
Jim Harbaugh Scramble Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Haha. Preston. I actually do not hate that. But it’s gonna be Buster.
agreed that the name Preston is buster.
125
José Ovechkin Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
I don’t get it. the only Preston I’ve ever known was a black kid I grew up with.
The only Chauncey I’ve ever heard of is Black. Still feels like a white name though.
126
arkbadger Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Why is doing the ONLY thing he could do considered “mighty impressive”? I mean I respect what he did…but all this internet ass-kissing…highly unnecessary…Long had NO OTHER CHOICE.
I know this is more about where I live and who I live around, but there are plenty of mouth-breathers around here this morning that disagree with you. I’ve already heard a whole lot of “this is why we will never win in the SEC. LSU wouldn’t have fired him, Alabama wouldn’t have fired him. derp, derp, derp.”
I think a lot of people are more impressed (at least I am) in the way he handled himself, not only yesterday, but last Thursday as well. He was thrown into the coals twice and handled himself pretty impressively both times.
127
MP III Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Yeah, until you’re done milking and they droop down to your belly button
thats not always true. if they were perky before, they will remain that way. saggers are saggers.
128
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Yeah, until you’re done milking and they droop down to your belly button
Eh, depends on the original size
teeny tiny ones flatten completely, and look like dead stingray wings. But the big ones have to be trussed up all the time, and forever after.
129
SouvenirCity Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
I like that. You’re right, that division did get hosed this year.
So did the Central in the West.
130
devang Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
Chafed, sore nipples included!
All chewed up with tiny teeth marks. Ugh!
“You’re not a woman until you’ve had kids come out of your vagina and step on your dreams.”
131
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
Yeah, until you’re done milking and they droop down to your belly button
/team similac advanced
//better buy that shit in bulk at Costco
132
RexKramerDangerSeeker Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
He would have hated life, watching her double-fist turkey legs while running the “These Boots Are Made for Walking” video on a loop on his mobile phone.
Imagine the tears and cast-iron skillet throwin’ if she walked in while he was crankin’ it to Boots Jessica.
133
NDub Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Man walking and texting nearly runs into a bear in California.
I was actually kind of sad watching that video. I felt bad for the bear. It was lost, probably hungry and just trying to get back to the woods.
134
kaiserwilhelmreems Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
you wouldn’t steal a billion dollars, hire a mad scientist to build a time machine, then use that time machine to go back in time and kill the mad scientist as a sane boy, just so you could die in a paradox?
The Most Interesting Man in the World did this, and he survived the paradox.
135
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Chafed, sore nipples included!
only if you’re doing it wrong.
136
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
if they were perky before, they will remain that way.
Not true either but it depends on whether or not you breast feed.
137
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Haha. Preston. I actually do not hate that. But it’s gonna be Buster.
Dude. Buster is a nickname, not something you actually name your kid. That is horrific.
138
Jay V Of Considerable Influence Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
I think a lot of people are more impressed (at least I am) in the way he handled himself, not only yesterday, but last Thursday as well. He was thrown into the coals twice and handled himself pretty impressively both times.
Fair enough.
139
KingGrizz Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Preston — He’s kinda tall, has dark hair and wears tee shirts sometimes.
140
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
/wife wanted something different/unique
dangerous.
141
Pastor of Muppets Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:27 AM
OT
Just when I think the Sox brass couldn’t fuck anything up more than they already have they go out and completely redeem themselves!
Unreal.
142
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:27 AM
only if you’re doing it wrong.
Shocking that you got something wrong again.
143
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
The only Chauncey I’ve ever heard of is Black. Still feels like a white name though.
This reminds me of the Wesley Snipes character in 30 Rock
144
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
I was actually kind of sad watching that video. I felt bad for the bear. It was lost, probably hungry and just trying to get back to the woods.
watch it again, and look at how fat that fucking bear is. He’s living the life of Riley, dining on people’s garbage all the time. He wants nothing to do with the woods, he just wants the sun to go back down, so he can tip over trash cans behind the chinese restaurant.
145
RexKramerDangerSeeker Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
and look like dead stingray wings.
I can’t stop laughing long enough to apologize to this woman I just spit coffee on sitting across from me at Caribou.
146
NDub Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
THe Jessica Simpson “Boots were made for walking” video is a CLASSIC.
Every time I heard that song I can only think of Glenn Quagmire’s gay dad dancing on the stairs.
147
SouvenirCity Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Leave it to the ladies of TBL to ruin tits for me.
148
A.P. (artist formerly TJ21) Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
/wife wanted something different/unique
dangerous
Would you say that we’re headed to a zone of danger?
/archer’d
149
guinnessgirl13 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
Preston — He’s kinda tall, has dark hair and wears tee shirts sometimes.
“Aman-Duh!”
150
NDub Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
The only Chauncey I’ve ever heard of is Black. Still feels like a white name though.
Duck Phillips’ dog was named Chauncey. And he got put outside to fend for himself in the streets of Manhattan.
/amiright, sportsgal?!
151
MP III Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
Not true either but it depends on whether or not you breast feed.
true sometimes. my wife is got pretty lucky.
/team similac advanced
its amazing how bad that stuff stinks.
152
coop247 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
I was actually kind of sad watching that video. I felt bad for the bear. It was lost, probably hungry and just trying to get back to the woods.
No way, that bear was having the time of his life scaring those stupid people. And the best part is that animal control is about to give him some series meds to groove on and he’ll wake up in the woods tomorrow going “what the fuck happened last night.”
153
TrinityPills Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
Could have just chopped off Petrino’s arm with a cleaver!
/disarm’d
154
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
Just when I think the Sox brass couldn’t fuck anything up more than they already have they go out and completely redeem themselves!
Unreal.
Good for Terry. Fuck Lucchino.
155
ol' scrappy grinder Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
Haha. Preston. I actually do not hate that. But it’s gonna be Buster.
Dude. Buster is a nickname, not something you actually name your kid. That is horrific.
I was horrified when my sister named my nephew Princeton. He seems like a nice, sweet kid but I’m concerned that he’s going to turn into the black version of Scooter McGavin one day.
156
MP III Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
and look like dead stingray wings
that is awesome.
157
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
/team similac advanced
its amazing how bad that stuff stinks.
we just use it to supplement, so about 8 ounces a week. They sell it premade in bottles, and it doesn’t stink. It tastes bad, but that’s really not my problem. Also, STFU baby.
158
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
only if you’re doing it wrong.
Shocking that you got something wrong again.
shocking that I’m living through the experience and know firsthand more about lactation than you, but yet you know I’m wrong. fair enough.
/calls self a dickface
//realizes I just entered a pissing contest with a chick regarding my lactation knowledge
///tells sportsgal to make me a sandwich
159
Senator Jersey Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
Dude. Buster is a nickname, not something you actually name your kid. That is horrific.
It’s actually my grandfather’s name, but whatever.
160
NDub Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
watch it again, and look at how fat that fucking bear is. He’s living the life of Riley, dining on people’s garbage all the time. He wants nothing to do with the woods, he just wants the sun to go back down, so he can tip over trash cans behind the chinese restaurant.
These dudes do this all the time in Georgia. Always getting smucked on I20.
161
TheRealAC Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
He seems like a nice, sweet kid but I’m concerned that he’s going to turn into the black version of Scooter McGavin one day.
just so he doesn’t eat pieces of shit for breakfast, you’re good.
162
MP III Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
the bear
that’s a very underrated my morning jacket song.
163
KingGrizz Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
“Aman-Duh!”
I’ve probably seen that movie between 25-40 times, and I still laugh at when Mike Dexter confronts Aman-duhhh. I love when they cut to his buddy and he’s the only one laughing when he says that.
164
johndewar Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
Just when I think the Sox brass couldn’t fuck anything up more than they already have they go out and completely redeem themselves!
Unreal.
Good for Terry. Fuck Lucchino.
Francona doesn’t owe them a thing. Especially after the way that whole thing ended.
165
NDub Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
No way, that bear was having the time of his life scaring those stupid people. And the best part is that animal control is about to give him some series meds to groove on and he’ll wake up in the woods tomorrow going “what the fuck happened last night.”
OK, that’s some funny shit.
166
HawkEye Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
its amazing how bad that stuff stinks.
Agreed. Catch a whiff of that stuff on the wrong morning, and everything might come back up.
167
SouvenirCity Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
Just when I think the Sox brass couldn’t fuck anything up more than they already have they go out and completely redeem themselves!
He probably wanted to avoid Curt Schilling as much as he did the front office guys. Good for him for standing his ground. It’ll be weird when he’s in the booth at Fenway on Sunday night though. Hershiser and Shulman don’t seem like the types to ask him questions about it during the broadcast too.
168
Career High Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:35 AM

The only Chauncey I’ve ever heard of is Black. Still feels like a white name though.
I know more dogs named Chauncey than people.
169
José Ovechkin Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
I was horrified when my sister named my nephew Princeton.
Ugh. I hate that even more than when people name their kids “Asia” or “India”
170
José Ovechkin Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
I was horrified when my sister named my nephew Princeton.
Ugh. I hate that even more than when people name their kids “Asia” or “India”
171
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
shocking that I’m living through the experience and know firsthand more about lactation than you, but yet you know I’m wrong. fair enough.
Shocking that you think because you’re married to someone who is lactating it means you know more than someone who has breasts, has taken birthing and nursing classes with female friends and relatives, and has actually helped people with breast infections.
172
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
It’ll be weird when he’s in the booth at Fenway on Sunday night though. Hershiser and Shulman don’t seem like the types to ask him questions about it during the broadcast too.
They kind of already brought it up during the spring training game they did. Awkward city.
173
TheRealAC Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Ugh. I hate that even more than when people name their kids “Asia” or “India”
Seven FTW
174
Mantis Toboggan Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Bear
175
MP III Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Agreed. Catch a whiff of that stuff on the wrong morning, and everything might come back up.
sometimes after eating, the little guy burbs and it smells awful.
176
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
/team similac advanced
its amazing how bad that stuff stinks.
I’m a fan of those enfamil single-use bottles. no mixing powder, no refrigeration necessary. yes, it’s wasteful when the kid only wants to eat 1/2 an ounce, but they’re incredibly convenient.
177
KingGrizz Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
I love that everyone has the story of the friend\relative who knows someone who teaches kids named LemonJello and OrangeJello. That’s always fun to call out when someone says it. Though, I did grow up with a set of twins named Mercedes and Benz.
178
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
watch it again, and look at how fat that fucking bear is. He’s living the life of Riley, dining on people’s garbage all the time. He wants nothing to do with the woods, he just wants the sun to go back down, so he can tip over trash cans behind the chinese restaurant.
hilarious and true
/also see: state and national parks, everywhere
179
arkbadger Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Leave it to the ladies of TBL to ruin tits for me.
there are doctors that can do amazing things with post-baby boobs. I will one day put my trust in them.
180
NinoBrown Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
its amazing how bad that stuff stinks.
Especially when it comes back out projectile style 10 minutes after feeding baby.
/happened to me
// tried to catch vomit with the “cupped hand” maneuver….didnt work.
181
kaiserwilhelmreems Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Ugh. I hate that even more than when people name their kids “Asia” or “India”
you can say that again.
182
NDub Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Shocking that you think because you’re married to someone who is lactating it means you know more than someone who has breasts, has taken birthing and nursing classes with female friends and relatives, and has actually helped people with breast infections.
THIS IS A THING?!?
Bear
FTMFW!
183
TheRealAC Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
helped people with breast infections.
go on…
184
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
I was horrified when my sister named my nephew Princeton.
I saw an episode of House Hunters the other day where a girl named Winter was trying to buy a house with her fiance so she could move out of her parents’ house that she shares with her sisters Summer, Spring and Fall. No bullshit.
185
kaiserwilhelmreems Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
Shocking that you think because you’re married to someone who is lactating it means you know more than someone who has breasts, has taken birthing and nursing classes with female friends and relatives, and has actually helped people with breast infections.
damn, now it’s gettin’ real up in here!
186
TheRealAC Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
I love that everyone has the story of the friend\relative who knows someone who teaches kids named LemonJello and OrangeJello.
i worked at a summer camp for a few years in HS and a kid in camp was named “Amiracle” as in A Miracle.
187
HawkEye Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
Though, I did grow up with a set of twins named Mercedes and Benz.
Lets not give Jersey any more ideas.
188
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
Shocking that you think because you’re married to someone who is lactating it means you know more than someone who has breasts, has taken birthing and nursing classes with female friends and relatives, and has actually helped people with breast infections.
I’m pretty sure I am married to someone that’s lactating. you’re hilarious…”I took classes with friends and helped them ice their boobs later! I know everything!” if you were such an expert, you’d know that those lactation classes and consultants are bullshit. lactation is not a science, it’s a philosophy.
/hates self for getting deeper into this
//can we just call a truce and say you’re right?
189
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
I saw an episode of House Hunters the other day where a girl named Winter was trying to buy a house with her fiance so she could move out of her parents’ house that she shares with her sisters Summer, Spring and Fall. No bullshit.
Fall?! That’s awful. I knew a girl named Autumn, that sounds much more natural than Fall.
190
Pastor of Muppets Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
Good for Terry. Fuck Lucchino.
Agreed x infinity. They wouldn’t have any of the “marketing” options they have without Francona. I’m glad he’s standing his ground, I just can’t fathom how out-of-touch the ownership group is. The guy who gets your team 2 WS wins, and you can’t make nice enough with him to have him be part of the 100th Anniversary celebration?
This entire organization is making me dislike them more and more every day.
191
payaso Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
The only Chauncey I’ve ever heard of is Black. Still feels like a white name though.
Chauncey from Blackstreet? Legend.
192
cleet Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
I was horrified when my sister named my nephew Princeton.
My sister named my nephew Ryder. I have no problem with it. Of course she is a pot-smoking hippy that went to Appalachian State so his midddle name is “Kai”, which means ocean or…something.
193
Pastor of Muppets Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
I saw an episode of House Hunters the other day where a girl named Winter was trying to buy a house with her fiance so she could move out of her parents’ house that she shares with her sisters Summer, Spring and Fall. No bullshit.
That’s awful. Although my all-time least favorite is when parents have like 5 kids and name them all beginning with the same letter.
194
Senator Jersey Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
Though, I did grow up with a set of twins named Mercedes and Benz.
Lets not give Jersey any more ideas.
Lol. You guys are such dicks. The best man I know is named Buster. I know a bunch of pointless Michaels, Derricks, Anthonys,Toms and Kareems. If I’m lucky to have a son, he’s getting my hero’s name. The rest of you, especially Ceej, can go get properly fucked.
195
NinoBrown Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
I saw an episode of House Hunters the other day where a girl named Winter was trying to buy a house with her fiance so she could move out of her parents’ house that she shares with her sisters Summer, Spring and Fall. No bullshit.
Saw that too. Dumbass parents.
Chauncey from Blackstreet? Legend.
Or Chauncey Billups
196
KingGrizz Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
Chauncey from Blackstreet? Legend.
No Diggity crushed middle school dances
197
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
if you were such an expert, you’d know that those lactation classes and consultants are bullshit. lactation is not a science, it’s a philosophy.
You’re a fucking moron. There’s no helping you. Ignore my comments and I’ll ignore yours, thanks.
198
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
That’s awful. Although my all-time least favorite is when parents have like 5 kids and name them all beginning with the same letter.
Even worse is giving them all the same name!
/George Foreman’d
199
Senator Jersey Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:45 AM
Chauncey from Blackstreet? Legend.
Teddy, pass the word to your nigga Chauncey.
I be sitting in the car, let’s say around 3:30.
200
SouvenirCity Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
As much as I enjoy Jeff Long handling this Petrino situation flawlessly, this whole story is going to be beaten into the ground like Paterno was around here. Except that there’s no vendetta that already existed among the staff against Petrino.
201
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
Fall?! That’s awful. I knew a girl named Autumn, that sounds much more natural than Fall.
Sorry, I think you’re right and her name was Autumn. But I’d still probably want to shoot myself if my name was Spring.
202
St. Bear Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
I was horrified when my sister named my nephew Princeton.
I don’t know why, but this reminded me of this commercial.
203
RexKramerDangerSeeker Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
No Diggity crushed middle school dances
I was 24, so I can neither confirm, nor deny.
204
Career High Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:47 AM

i worked at a summer camp for a few years in HS and a kid in camp was named “Amiracle” as in A Miracle.
I once dealt with a fellow whose name was Eugenious. Thought that was quality.
205
NinoBrown Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
so his midddle name is “Kai”, which means ocean or…something.
He could join the Cobra Kai
206
molemaninthemorning Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
I know a baby named Fidel, keeping with current events. Caucasian, even.
207
SouvenirCity Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
This entire organization is making me dislike them more and more every day.
Welcome to the other side.
208
tedkerwin Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:49 AM
Bears, Boobs and Baby names. Seems like a regular day at TBL.
209
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
if you were such an expert, you’d know that those lactation classes and consultants are bullshit. lactation is not a science, it’s a philosophy.
you found work as a lobbyist for Big Boob?
210
Pastor of Muppets Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
Welcome to the other side.
I see why people dislike them from afar. But they are seriously starting to alienate the local fanbase.
Or should I say the local fanbase that gives a shit. There will still be plenty of people coming in to buy a “Commemorative Brick” and sing “Sweet Caroline” after one of the 13 pitchers we are carrying blows a lead in the top of the 8th.
211
SouvenirCity Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
Really starting to like Dale Sveum. Accountability isn’t something we’ve had around these parts in a long time. Nor is candor.
”He couldn’t put anybody away,” Sveum said. “I didn’t think he had a good feel for his curveball at all and keeping his changeup down. He couldn’t get the ball inside for strikes. It just snowballed a little bit in that first inning. He settled down and did OK after that, but the damage was done already.”
212
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
You’re a fucking moron. There’s no helping you. Ignore my comments and I’ll ignore yours, thanks.
one day, maybe you’ll realize the errors of your ways and you’ll be like, “hey, mizerl06 is mcintyred of all the trollin’, remember when you knew and witnessed all that stuff first-hand about the frustrations of lactation and how you and your wife asked specific questions to multiple lactation consultants and they all either gave different answers or straight up contradictory answers and you realized how, depending on where they were employed, they had a group philosophy for lactation and several of them even admitted so? yeah, tell me more about that.”
213
cleet Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
He could join the Cobra Kai
I just realized when he gets older he will have no idea what the Cobra Kai is, and that makes me sad.
214
cleet Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
Had a friend that dated a girl named Winter. Don’t think she had siblings with seasonal names. She was pretty normal though and very good looking.
215
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
my wife scoffed in the face of a lactation consultant, and then had to be held in place so we could finish the mandatory meeting, before the first baby. So stupid. The lady told us how concerned we had to be about getting AIDS from a used breast pump, and also that she just happened to sell brand new breast pumps.
But that’s more first hand knowledge than handing somebody a tube of lasinoh.
216
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
Hey Cleet, did you discuss Chopped on Monday around here?
217
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
Duck Phillips’ dog was named Chauncey. And he got put outside to fend for himself in the streets of Manhattan.
That dog was dead within the hour. He had no survival skills.
218
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
my wife scoffed in the face of a lactation consultant, and then had to be held in place so we could finish the mandatory meeting, before the first baby. So stupid. The lady told us how concerned we had to be about getting AIDS from a used breast pump, and also that she just happened to sell brand new breast pumps.
But that’s more first hand knowledge than handing somebody a tube of lasinoh.
You’re a fucking moron. There’s no helping you.
219
molemaninthemorning Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
Kai is a ridiculously common name. If it’s strange to you you’ve probably got one black friend.
What the fuck is a lactation consultant?
220
arkbadger Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
As much as I enjoy Jeff Long handling this Petrino situation flawlessly, this whole story is going to be beaten into the ground like Paterno was around here. Except that there’s no vendetta that already existed among the staff against Petrino.
J-Mac was throwing around conspiracy theories 5 minutes after the press conference was over last night on Twitter.
221
A.P. (artist formerly TJ21) Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
SG, who won that first episode of allstars? I fell asleep before the first elimination
222
scripty Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 9:59 AM
The problem with that post-baby rack is despite the newborn, the father will begin to fixate on those glorious lactate-enhanced boobies and the mother will want that sex-craved father to not touch her, at all.
It’s a sick game that Mother Nature plays, I tell ya.
223
squawkbox Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
What the fuck is a lactation consultant?
A first world occupation.
224
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
What the fuck is a lactation consultant?
like a doula, but for cans
225
kaiserwilhelmreems Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:01 AM
I see why people dislike them from afar. But they are seriously starting to alienate the local fanbase.
Or should I say the local fanbase that gives a shit.
it seems worse than it is b/c there’s no fall back reasoning to make you look past the problems that have always been there. Everything is new, but you know that if they pull off some crazy success in the playoffs out of nowhere the saying will be “in ben we trust” the next day.
226
squawkbox Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
The problem with that post-baby rack is despite the newborn, the father will begin to fixate on those glorious lactate-enhanced boobies and the mother will want that sex-craved father to not touch her, at all.
Then, when she does let you, and she decides to get on top, you end up with a puddle of milk between your pecs.
227
guinnessgirl13 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:03 AM
like a doula, but for cans
What is a doula?
/team can’t have babies
228
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:04 AM
You’re a fucking moron. There’s no helping you.
Sorry you and Clay had bad experiences talking to someone about breast feeding. My cousin had a lot of trouble breast feeding with her first child. She was distraught and felt like a failure as a mother. She met with someone who gave her a few tips and ideas on routines to help her feel less stressed. It was a great experience for her and very helpful.
And yes, you’re still a fucking moron.
229
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
The lady told us how concerned we had to be about getting AIDS from a used breast pump, and also that she just happened to sell brand new breast pumps.
you: what if you know the person that used the pump before? like, say, the previous chick is my wife’s sister and we’re fairly certain she doesn’t have the AIDS?
lactation consultant: well, you need to be careful about bacteria gowing on the components then. and the AIDS; you need to worry about that too. you should buy this new one I have…only $400.
you: yeah, but can’t we just boil the components for 10 minutes before first use like the packaging recommends?
LC: but that won’t get rid of the AIDS. look, I have this new one right here…no AIDS on it yet.
230
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
The rest of you, especially Ceej, can go get properly fucked.
We dont even talk anymore
We dont even know what we argue about
Dont even say I love you no more
cause saying how we feel is no longer allowed
some people work things out and some just dont know how to change
Let’s not wait till the water runs dry
we might watch our whole lives pass us by
let’s not wait till the water runs dry
and make the biggest mistake of our lives
dont do it baby…
231
squawkbox Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
re: kids names …
My requirement for my boys – one syllable names.
My requirement for my girl – multiple syllable name.
232
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
What is a doula?
a lady you pay to be in the room with you while you have your baby. Not a doctor, not a nurse, not your spouse. But a paid birth coach. A huge, unnecessary, racket. Very “earthy”
233
cleet Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
Hey Cleet, did you discuss Chopped on Monday around here?
I did but GoT dominated most of the discussion. I said I was glad Cora lost because she was acting all high and mighty about having her name and legacy be on charity, because that is what chairty is about: you.
Obviously without tasting the food it is hard to judge. I thought Forgione was way ahead for creativity and presentation. Simon’s probably tasted the best (no surprise), but I thought his leaving out of the Rum in the final round would do him in.
234
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
you: what if you know the person that used the pump before? like, say, the previous chick is my wife’s sister and we’re fairly certain she doesn’t have the AIDS?
lactation consultant: well, you need to be careful about bacteria gowing on the components then. and the AIDS; you need to worry about that too. you should buy this new one I have…only $400.
you: yeah, but can’t we just boil the components for 10 minutes before first use like the packaging recommends?
LC: but that won’t get rid of the AIDS. look, I have this new one right here…no AIDS on it yet.
minus the audible scoff, that is verbatim
235
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:08 AM
SG, who won that first episode of allstars? I fell asleep before the first elimination
Michael Symon. I knew he’d win but it ended up being a pretty good battle. People were getting eliminated for teeny tiny problems with their dishes.
236
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:08 AM
re: kids names …
My requirement for my boys – one syllable names.
my rules were this: Had to be two syllables, the first and last letters both had to be consonants, and it had to sound like the name of a white person from America.
237
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
And yes, you’re still a fucking moron.
/pins “Fucking Moron, This Guy” button on jacket
//puffs chest out
238
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:11 AM
Sorry you and Clay had bad experiences talking to someone about breast feeding.
mine wasn’t a bad experience. It was hilarious. I would go back, just to make my wife sit still while this lady spewed nonsense at her. So great.
My wife basically called her an idiot several times.
239
squawkbox Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
I’ll never forget… first child born and nurse brings him to my wife to feed him.
Nurse made some comment like “Ok mom, let’s get your equipment ready.” My wife opens her gown displaying her ‘equipment’ extending her arms to the the baby. Nurse: “Oh yeah … mom’s got great equipment.”
Yes. Yes she does.
240
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
/pins “Fucking Moron, This Guy” button on jacket
You don’t need a pin, it’s written all over your face.
241
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:15 AM
You don’t need a pin, it’s written all over your face.
and your moron face is framed nicely by your at home haircut
242
St. Bear Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:15 AM
Sorry you and Clay had bad experiences talking to someone about breast feeding.
mine wasn’t a bad experience. It was hilarious. I would go back, just to make my wife sit still while this lady spewed nonsense at her. So great.
My wife basically called her an idiot several times.
BREAKING NEWS: It’s like everything in life, you’re going to get idiots and you’re going to get people who are really good at their jobs.
243
Senator Jersey Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:16 AM
We dont even talk anymore
We dont even know what we argue about
Dont even say I love you no more
cause saying how we feel is no longer allowed
some people work things out and some just dont know how to change
Let’s not wait till the water runs dry
we might watch our whole lives pass us by
let’s not wait till the water runs dry
and make the biggest mistake of our lives
dont do it baby…
And just like that, I remember why I creeped on CJ in the first place.
Let’s be those people who can work things out instead of just not knowing how to change.
244
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:17 AM
Sorry you and Clay had bad experiences talking to someone about breast feeding.
mine wasn’t a bad experience. It was hilarious. I would go back, just to make my wife sit still while this lady spewed nonsense at her. So great.
My wife basically called her an idiot several times.
I wouldn’t qualify mine as bad either…more like eye-opening. these lactation consultants serve a good purpose in general, but when you start getting specific, their usefulness seems to wane. my original comment was somewhat in jest because it was such an obvious broadbrush generalization. sportsgal engaged though so it was on. I’m still wearing my “Fucking Moron, This Guy” button and none of you can make me take it off.
245
spencer096 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:18 AM
/team michael symon
246
Senator Jersey Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:18 AM
The Boyz II Men and Blackstreet references in here were worth this becoming a lactation thread.
247
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:19 AM
Let’s be those people who can work things out instead of just not knowing how to change.
Deal.
248
cracker jack Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:21 AM
/team michael symon
But he has a really annoying Cleveland voice
249
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
You don’t need a pin, it’s written all over your face.
sicktastic burn. but I just checked and there’s nothing written on my face, so joke’s on you.
and your moron face is framed nicely by your at home haircut
you really do have an incredible comments memory.
250
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
sportsgal engaged though so it was on.
It’s funny that you see it that way. The comments say otherwise. You were the one that felt you needed to put on your “breastfeeding genius” hat (which goes well with your moronic face) and claim that any woman that’s had chafed nipples from breastfeeding doesn’t know what they’re doing.
251
spencer096 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
But he has a really annoying Cleveland voice
we dont all talk like that…and we SURE AS HELL don’t laugh like that.
he’s a really nice dude…exactly what you see on tv.
252
cleet Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:25 AM
We dont even talk anymore
We dont even know what we argue about
Video filmed in White Sands, NM.
253
NinoBrown Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:25 AM
Michael Symon. I knew he’d win but it ended up being a pretty good battle. People were getting eliminated for teeny tiny problems with their dishes.
Like shellfish bits in their vinaigrette. I thought it was pretty much a given that Symon was going to win. I mean, they were promoting his Food Channel show during Chopped.
254
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:27 AM
I really like the All Stars Chopped episodes. The food almost always seems to be better than with normal contestants and there are a lot more funny comments between the contestants and the judges.
255
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:27 AM
The comments say otherwise. You were the one that felt you needed to put on your “breastfeeding genius” hat (which goes well with your moronic face) and claim that any woman that’s had chafed nipples from breastfeeding doesn’t know what they’re doing.
/makes eye contact with sportsgal
//points to sentence right before the one she quoted in comment 244
256
cleet Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:28 AM
he’s a really nice dude…exactly what you see on tv.
I can see that, he;s been consistenly like that on every show I’ve seen him on. Also, his food must be really good because dude wins almost all the time. I still can’t wait for the judges episode, shame it isn’t for another 3 weeks.
257
illformula Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:29 AM
You don’t need a pin, it’s written all over your face.
evidence why women will never be president.
258
NinoBrown Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:34 AM
he’s a really nice dude…exactly what you see on tv.
I know someone who met him and said the exact same thing.
I hear Guy is a homophobic douche.
259
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:36 AM
Oh for fuck’s sake. I just had some hipster chick who loves indie bands tell me she’s never heard of Black Sabbath.
260
spencer096 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:37 AM
Oh for fuck’s sake. I just had some hipster chick who loves indie bands tell me she’s never heard of Black Sabbath.
/facepalm
261
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:39 AM
Oh for fuck’s sake. I just had some hipster chick who loves indie bands tell me she’s never heard of Black Sabbath.
did you tell her how you took hipster classes with your friends and they always discussed Black Sabbath so she’s hopeless as a hipster?
262
Clayton Cargill Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:39 AM
I just had some hipster chick who loves indie bands tell me she’s never heard of Black Sabbath.
sharon osbourne’s creepy husband was a singer?
263
Urinal Mint Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
I just had some hipster chick who loves indie bands tell me she’s never heard of Black Sabbath.
How about the Jewish cover band, Black Shabbos?
264
sportsgal116 Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:43 AM
did you tell her how you took hipster classes with your friends and they always discussed Black Sabbath so she’s hopeless as a hipster?
Awwww… good try, bub!
265
mizerle06 is mcintyred of all the trollin' Says:
April 11th, 2012 at 10:47 AM
Awwww… good try, bub!
Awwww? That’s not “Awww.” This is “Awwww.”