Roundup: Google’s Project Glass, the Oral History of Friends & the Masters Begins Today
Katrina Bowden … surfer fights off 10-foot shark … clothing placebos basically … SUV crashes into convenience store … passive-aggressive roommate notes … calories from added sugars are bad for you … team LC … tremendous mugshot … pretend you’re hacking … awesome pictures … 1000 words on Dickie Bennett’s hair… iSpontanious Combustion … only in Austin, Texas … pirate ship for sale … no wonder Game of Thrones is TV-MA …
The Houston Astrodome is still standing. They’re really slacking on the up-keep. [Houston Press]
High school pitching prospect Stephen Gant found dead of apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound. [Jackson Sun]
The Masters has begun. It’s wide-open this year. We’ll have our preview later this morning. [Augusta Chronicle]
The Oral History of Friends. [Vanity Fair]
Brittney Griner has started thinking about a follow-up to the first ever 40-win season. [Washington Post]
People are slowly, but surely, dropping cable for a combination of other services. [EW]
BlackBerry is giving up on the consumer market. *fist bumps Mike NYC* [MSNBC]
Woman offers sex to undercover officer in exchange for two double cheeseburgers off the value menu. Guess the state… [NBC BLANK]
Of course John Daly parked his RV outside Hooters. [Larry Brown Sports]
A 68-year-old Marine was killed by the police who came to help him. [NYDN]
Spend some time getting to know Samantha Brick. I’m convinced she is part of a Truman Show-esque prank because that’s the only reason she would be under the impression she was that hot. [Daily Mail, Telegraph]
UFC 146 could be the fastest ever because because of all the heavyweights. (Link was added before Overeem tested positive for huge guns.) [MMA Fighting]
Paul Rudd saved fantasy baseball. [Midwest Bias]
The Marlins lost last night, but at least catcher John Buck had a sweet new helmet. [The Fish Pond]
Opening Day without the old man. [desipio]
This is my favorite video of the week. Why didn’t someone send this to me a year ago?
Scarlett Johansson as The Black Widow from the Avengers movie.
I assume Google’s objective with this “project glass” video is to make me hate myself and everyone else who lives in a city and owns a smartphone.
Jim Henson made a short film for The Bell System in 1963.
Skateboarding’s first 1080. Pulled off by a 12-year-old. Even Tony Hawk is impressed. [USA Today]
- Roy Hibbert Blocked Carmelo Anthony And It Was Epic [GIF]
- Oxbow Upsets Orb To Win Preakness, No Triple Crown For 2013
- Charmin “Stop Skidmarks” Billboard Won At Charlotte Motor Speedway
- Mets Resort To Groupon To Sell Tickets, Including Yankees Games
- Oklahoma State Blocks Wes Lunt Transfer Options, Lest Mike Gundy Look Bad Indirectly
- kazzythekid on Roy Hibbert Blocked Carmelo Anthony And It Was Epic [GIF]
- Liquor on Roy Hibbert Blocked Carmelo Anthony And It Was Epic [GIF]
- ThatsSoTaguchi (Now With Zip) on John McCain Wants To Blow Up Sports On Television
- starkweather on Roy Hibbert Blocked Carmelo Anthony And It Was Epic [GIF]
- vermincain on Roy Hibbert Blocked Carmelo Anthony And It Was Epic [GIF]
210 Responses to “Roundup: Google’s Project Glass, the Oral History of Friends & the Masters Begins Today”
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April 5th, 2012 at 8:14 AM
Woman offers sex to undercover officer in exchange for two double cheeseburgers off the value menu. Guess the state…
Well, they were cheeseburgers.
Scarlett Johansson as The Black Widow from the Avengers movie.
She’s working that LBD. What a hammer.
Katrina Bowden
CRM, I bow to your Roundup greatness.
/your favorite OFP
April 5th, 2012 at 8:16 AM
Paul Rudd saved fantasy baseball.
That was a tremendous scene. If only Courtney Thorne-Smith aged like Leslie Mann.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:17 AM
A 68-year-old Marine was killed by the police who came to help him.
What the hell? What a waste, and horrible incompetence by the cops. Why kill an innocent man? They couldn’t have de-escalated this confrontation?
April 5th, 2012 at 8:21 AM
tremendous Roundup, Steve CoRM. those passive-aggressive roommate notes slayed me. “brochacho” in the ice cream note was teh awesome.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:21 AM
Only time I ever had a hooker proposition me it was $7 for a blowjob. I thought that was cheap. She was disgusting and missing teeth (which i suppose could be a good thing).
April 5th, 2012 at 8:22 AM
it depends on which way you look at it…i look at this masters as being rory’s to lose. so coming from that perspective, it’s hard to consider it wide-open at all.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:23 AM
Thats awesome, those angry roomate notes were just the best. Afterwards the rest of the roomates who hate the douche have a good laugh.
About halfway down a likely TBL commenter has an entire freezer full of Ben and Jerrys.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:24 AM
Mickelson spoke at length yesterday about how “soft” the greens were w.r.t. previous years due to all the early spring rain, and said that as a result the less experienced players had a great opportunity to stay within striking distance because errant shots into the green wouldn’t be penalized as they normally would.
So I changed my pick to Keegan Bradley because he hits moonballs (like Tiger does now) that should enable him to go pin hunting.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:28 AM
and a pair of lawyers said LifeAid’s audiobox recorded every sound inside the apartment…. Others were taunting Chamberlain’s military service after they discovered he was a former Marine.
Those guys should fry.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:28 AM
crap. i always pick the depressing stories to read in the roundup.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:31 AM
The Masters has begun. It’s wide-open this year.
Only in the sense that every 95-player tournament is wide open. Very few people would take the field vs. rory/phil/tiger. Also, Garrigus tripled the first. He’s done.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:31 AM
I thought we only praised men for their hammers?
April 5th, 2012 at 8:32 AM
Wide open except for membership to women, AMIRIGHT?!
April 5th, 2012 at 8:33 AM
Blake Griffin is so fun to watch and he’s a very good NBA player, BUT I will see nothing wrong with someone drilling him in the playoffs if he tries that dunk-and-posture stuff. Not what that Jason Smith did to him (that shit is dirty), but a solid foul similar to what we saw from Westbrook on LeBron last night.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:34 AM
that was funny as shit.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:34 AM
Mint at Augusta, they have a water removal system built into the greens called Sub-Air. Traditionally, WED night they ramp it ump and the greens play dryer than all the practice rounds.
My understanding is they only run between rounds, so if it rains/drizzles during the round, a golfer can really attack soft greens. But they’ll ron those things at night and keep those greens hard. But Bradley is a fine player.
Fairway mud balls are going potentially the topic du jour.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:35 AM
I thought we only praised men for their hammers?
Sorry, UM. In my neighborhood years ago, we called beautiful women “hammers”, since “we wanna get nailed by her”.
I know, I know…it doesn’t stand the test of time
/takes my Catskills-style humor & backs out of the room
April 5th, 2012 at 8:35 AM
Oh LOL, the irony of seeing his username next to “MSNBC.”
April 5th, 2012 at 8:36 AM
Garrigus is +2 after 2. did he forget the jeffrey with his breakfast this morning?
April 5th, 2012 at 8:36 AM
Wide open except for membership to women, AMIRIGHT?!
go back to the kitchen
April 5th, 2012 at 8:36 AM
Holy shit that Belgrade Batman pic is all kinds of awesome
He’s not wearing hockey pads.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:37 AM
I need a solid golf course recommendation near Somerville NJ. Want to stay less than $70 for the round.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:37 AM
/giggles
all i know is, it’s supposed to be a sunny 49 degrees here today…i’ll be getting in 18 highly baked.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:37 AM
That move is going to suck so bad, but I’ll probably go just to see Scarlett.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:38 AM
This is great. I am using this.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:38 AM
Yeah, I saw that system on display a few years ago (one of the Opens) and watched them drain about 5000 gallons of water off a green in 2 minutes. Wish I had invented that.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:39 AM
bet you gary player has the best drive of the 3.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:39 AM
arnie’s shirt is pimp.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:41 AM
CTS needs to ask for a refund from her plastic surgeon. She is not looking so good now days when she is on 2.5 men.
Stories? Stories? We don’t read no stinkin’ stories here.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:41 AM
This… I don’t get. So dunking of folks trying to block your shot and not being expressive afterwards is somehow something to retaliate against. There is nothing that can be done after a huge dunk that wouldn’t be described as “posturing”. EVERYONE can see what just happened. Even Andrew Bynum had this “oh my gawd” look on his face after the second dunk and he’s the designated retaliator.
Not following.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:42 AM
/team LC
April 5th, 2012 at 8:43 AM
Are we surprised? He is in phenomenal shape. He still turns through the ball like a 40 yr old.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:43 AM
I think what pisses me off most about Avengers, almost irrationally, is the trailer that inappropriately used the NIN song “We’re in this together.” That song has nothing to do with two or more individuals banding together for some greater good cause.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:44 AM
I’m playing Mattawing/Pine Brook CC tomorrow, I’ll let you know how it is. Can’t wait to get out. Also going golfing at Philly CC next Saturday as well.
/golf
So new Marlins Park = Petco East?
/trades Stanton & Hanley
April 5th, 2012 at 8:44 AM
Nobody likes to be showed up. Especially in front of fellow professionals and large crowds. It’s quite simple, actually.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:46 AM
ever since i started working, ive forgotten how bad sportscenter is.
jesus…dana jacobsen’s almost as big as damien woody.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:47 AM
I thought she was leaving ESPN?
April 5th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
Men nail women. Women only do the nailing if sporting a strap-on.
Also, if you’re leaving the butter out, use the butter dish lid. Keep it classy (and more sanitary).
April 5th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
Always and forever. Just because, fuck Kristin Cavalleri.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
i guess im just seeing her redshift on sportscenter then.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
Sure there is. Turn, high five your teammates, and run down the court or get ready for your free throw. Or, you know, you could even help the guy up instead of standing over him preening like an asshole.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:49 AM
Random Youtube comment: ‘now there gonna be ADS IN YO FACE’
Youtube comments went from the dregs of the internet to hilarious and all it took was an up-vote system.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:50 AM
Sad.
But I had to chuckle at this:
“Head coach Dusty Rhodes declined to comment, and other players on the Panthers’ roster were not available for comment.”
April 5th, 2012 at 8:50 AM
I believe that is called “docking.”
April 5th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
Men nail women. Women only do the nailing if sporting a strap-on.
scripty, I respectfully disagree, at the risk of getting too graphic.
Don’t forget, it is figurative. Certainly not literal. Yeesh.
/shivers at the thought
April 5th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
I don’t understand the concept of picking a long shot to win a golf tournament. If you’re not picking the top players simply on account of their higher win % then you’re just flat out making a wild guess and all the reasons you tendered to support the guess are pretty much manufactured justification of a largely baseless prophecy.
If you go back and check the hit rate of these bold calls, you’ll find it just as inaccurate as a random selection.
All the pros are so good that for any given 4 rounds quite frankly anyone can beat the field if they experience slightly better luck than everyone else.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
Jay Cutler did. Or maybe she was the hammer and he was the nail.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
Man Gregg Williams is one evil SOB, there’s no mincing words here, he wants guys concussed and injured. Repeating, kill the head. Damn.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=fhnn9kbqQUA
April 5th, 2012 at 8:52 AM
Anyone see those anti-cigarette stoma ads? They always make me think of Spencer.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:53 AM
Great, I appreciate it.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:53 AM
For some reason I watched the ’92 Masters highlights on ESPN Classic last night. Gene Sarazen had a better turn at age 91 than I do now.
Looking back now, Couples didn’t exactly outlast “murderer’s row” to win that title. Craig Parry, Ian Baker-Finch, and Ray Floyd (at age 49) were the closest competition.
/Parry just missed another 5 foot putt
April 5th, 2012 at 8:53 AM
Jay Cutler did. Or maybe she was the hammer and he was the nail.
Yes! Or, waitaminnit…just what are you really insinuating???
/laughing thru my bewilderment
April 5th, 2012 at 8:53 AM
This seems backwards since (regarding football) I’m always telling my boys “Be the hammer, not the nail.”
/tilted head confused puppy look
April 5th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
This. If I ref’d basketball games I’d be handing outso many technical fouls. I coach my boys that if you do something amazing just keep playing, don’t stand there preening like an ass. If they do that they get some splinters in their own ass.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
When I used to listen to M&M about 7 years ago I remember when they would have her on and spend about 2 segments trying to get her hooked up with a guy.
She’s built for radio, that’s certain.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
Women only do the nailing if sporting a strap-on.
I believe that is called “docking.”
c’mon dude. Know your lingo. You’re referring to pegging.
You simply cannot believe what docking is.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:55 AM
you answered your own question why anyone would pick a long shot in a golf tourney…because, if they qualify, there really aren’t any long shots. i mean, unless you’re taking mark omeara or some stupid shit like that.
they’re all long shots…so there really aren’t any long shots. it’s all a wild guess…the most impressive statistical player last year was nick watney, who was HORRIBLE in the majors.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:56 AM
scripty, I respectfully disagree, at the risk of getting too graphic.
the weenie is the nail, and the cootie is the board.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:56 AM
You’ve seen her jawline. She’s a chisel.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:56 AM
All the pros are so good that for any given 4 rounds quite frankly anyone can beat the field if they experience slightly better luck than everyone else.
No. Tiger and Rory can win with their B games. That’s why they are so damn good. Also, putting is a skill, not luck. Any pro who is lights-out with a putter for 4 days can place top 3 (Tom Gilles at Honda, for example). Luck is a factor, but to say it’s the factor, is implausible.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:56 AM
/tilted head confused puppy look
Not so confusing. Just meant “I wanna do her”. Nothing to do with “docking” or “pegging” or any of that stuff.
You know how young guys can be. Always looking for a novel way to say something, in order to sound cool and avant garde.
This was the 80s when we used it, after all.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
Or, even, a more novel idea for Blake: you could try to play physical defense on the other end. The next time Blake makes it difficult in someone on the other end of the court will be his first.
I love that Gasol fed his weak offensive game back at him in crunch time.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
I think it was explained on an episode of Tosh.0 … very disturbing.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
/shudders
Only hammer euphemism I ever use is calling a dick a “clamhammer”….because it hammers clams.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:58 AM
Ha ha. You’re right. I did get those confused. Docking is… well, let’s not talk about it, but I’m aware what that is. Pegging was learned in the comments here.
Yuck,.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:58 AM
Lot of boobie bouncing in that vid.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:58 AM
did you take the day off for the Masters? awesome.
I was watching some of the old highlights last night and I started watching ’62 and all I kept thinking was how I wished they still dressed like that. so pimp.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:58 AM
You’re my go-to guy for sexual terms, gay and straight. The things you learn on this site…
April 5th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
What the fuck is docking?
April 5th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
I need one of those belts like Arnie has on.
April 5th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
At about the 25/26 second mark there is no way Scarlett generated enough force with the legs of the chair to knock that guy down. But for movie purposes she has to defeat the whole room of dudes because she is awesome.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:00 AM
in all fairness we need to look at this guy’s twitter account to see what he was really like.
/PurdueMatt’d
April 5th, 2012 at 9:00 AM
spencer and scripty – is there such thing as momentum in golf? Like, I keep hearing about how Tiger can carry momentum from that win two weeks ago to The Masters. Is that possible with such a layoff? We always hear about “momentum” in sports, but I assume it applies to many other sports, but not golf because it’s so cerebral.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:00 AM
I think it was explained on an episode of Tosh.0 … very disturbing.
it’s like two dudes are pretending their penises are lesbians, and then the lesbians decide to scissor.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:00 AM
Don’t worry, you’ll get a big dose of Rickie’s Fanboys today instead.
“Look, I can wear purple and pink!”
April 5th, 2012 at 9:01 AM
Who cares? If it involves doing the dirty with ScarJo it’s all good.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
arnie’s shirt is pimp.
arnie is pimp.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
wait so high fiving your teammates is NOT “posturing” but non expressiveness is? See you run into lots of trouble when you start moralizing about one’s expression following a great play that generates a strong reaction from 30,000 people, both benches and all 9 other guys on the court.
If you’re the kind of dude that takes offense at this kind of stuff its not too long before you go “hey douchebag why not just run back down the court instead of high fiving and what not!”. The problem is more about you (and your shot blocking skills perhaps) than the dunker.
If someone dunks on you, one honorable retaliation is dunking them. A cheap shot would be kind of an asshole move.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
What the fuck is docking?
imagine you and me are both gay dudes from Romania, so we both have foreskins. And we’re totally swordfighting with our weenies. Then, you open up your disgusting euro foreskin, and allow me to enter with my peen. Then our weenie tips are totally touching, and both are kinda dripping good on each other while we gently rub each other.
And you want to kiss, but I don’t do that. Plus, you’re totally whiskery.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
Two dudes sticking their weiners together, especially if one (or both) is uncircumcised.
/vomits
April 5th, 2012 at 9:04 AM
/vomits
not Nick specifically, but I love how stuff like that makes guys “sick,” but the idea of making a chick suck on a fresh-from-inside-her-bottom poopy penis is somehow hot.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:04 AM
We might need to shut down the internet for the day after comment 79.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
No one ever said cheap shotting Griffin is the appropriate response. In fact, I said what Jason Smith did was dirty. But a hard foul, especially in the playoffs when every basket is fucking earned, is totally legit.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
My entire comment was addressing folks that pick long shots… the truly great ones can overcome misfortune. We are in agreement.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
Team Tiger aka GOAT aka Big Baby Jesus.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
I thought that was frot.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
Oh. What a stupid thing to do. That doesn’t sound pleasurable at all.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
Ndub, I’d say it helps to be in form, but there are a billion instances where a player shows up a tourney with his game in shambles, gets 1 tip on the range, and wins.
Examples: Ben Crenshaw hadnt made a cut all year, goes to Augusta, old caddie Carl Jackson lowers his hand on his swing, and Crenshaw wins. Jose Maria Olazabal arrives in shambles, gets this motivational speech from Gary Player at the 1999 Champions dinner, and comes out of nowhere to win.
IMO, it helps if their putting is in form more than anything.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
That shit is not cool, either.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
If a hard foul is an effective winning basketball strategy why save it for the playoffs or after you’ve been dunked on?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
I’ll assume this is the result of CRM watching his DVR of ‘New Girl’ last night.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:06 AM
Also, if a hard foul on Blake Griffin keeps Blake Griffin away from the rim for the rest of that game or series, then fucking do it.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
Speaking of Tosh…did you see his show this week where he had a staffer eating and drinking disgusting shit ending with a Harry Palmer….horse semen mixed with ice tea?
/ nearly vomited
April 5th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
Leave it to Clay to write the most depraved comment ever. Can we change the subject?
Here is a cute puppy!
April 5th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
imagine you and me are both gay dudes from Romania, so we both have foreskins. And we’re totally swordfighting with our weenies. Then, you open up your disgusting euro foreskin, and allow me to enter with my peen. Then our weenie tips are totally touching, and both are kinda dripping good on each other while we gently rub each other.
And you want to kiss, but I don’t do that. Plus, you’re totally whiskery.
so it’s Brokeback Mountain in the Swiss Alps?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
Um, no its not.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
we should probably get a few of us in asbestos removal suits and scrub this place clean after comment 79
April 5th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
I thought that was frot.
that’s gay sex after enchilada night. Nobody wants to take any chances, but everybody needs a little something before bed.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
“Things someone without a dingus would say” for $300, Alex
April 5th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
Neither does anal sex, but the gays and kinky chicks allow it.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
aka got nailed by many hammers. Some better looking than others.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
I KNEW that was her. My hubby wasnt sure.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
I saw a well dressed fellow in a Razorback hat and shirt at the honorary tee-off. that is well dressed my friends.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
You almost made me spit out my breakfast! Ha.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:10 AM
/spits coffee at screen
April 5th, 2012 at 9:10 AM
Are you serious? Because 1) playoffs games are infinitely more important than regular season games and 2) again, no one likes to be embarrassed, especially a pro or in front of a massive crowd.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:10 AM
Yeah, but unless you’re a white haired former Penn State coach, you’re probably not talking to your boys about sex.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
Fixed.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
but there are a billion instances where a player shows up a tourney with his game in shambles, gets 1 tip on the range, and wins.
exaggeration aside (billions?), only pros can make one small tweak on the range and have it completely refine their game. their swings are that finely tuned and i envy them.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
Well thats exactly my point… if the chances of one long shot is indistinguishable from the next then why write all this BS about why you think they will come through THIS time although your last forever bold picks have never gone according to script
April 5th, 2012 at 9:12 AM
1000 words on Dickie Bennett’s hair…
That started the morning off right.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:12 AM
Yea that was her. That was probably the funniest episode I’ve seen yet. Glad they are working out the kinks.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:12 AM
scripty – so, because Tiger’s putting game was on a few weeks ago with the win, the momentum talk is warranted for him this weekend?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:12 AM
yea…there’s momentum in golf.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:12 AM
Oh, trust me, I’ve had “the talk”.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:12 AM
Foreskin talk before 9:30, it must be Holy Thursday!
April 5th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
Winston actually had a personality! Agree, I havent laughed harder at any show over the past few weeks.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
Agree to disagree.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:14 AM
I suggest you look at picture #8 in the awesome pictures link.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
Ew ew ew ew. Not allowed. Kissing is not allowed after oral either.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
got_em_looking – If you disagree with hard fouls or the premise behind them, listen to what LeBron said in his halftime interview last night after Westbrook’s hard foul. LeBron hated it, but understood it (and probably respected it) with the premise of it being a “playoff foul.”
Now, one can argue why such a hard foul is necessary for a regular season game, but LeBron justified it by saying the game was intense and it was to be expected. I’m sure he expects to see OKC in June anyways.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Winston was hilarious. That guy is funny they just have not given him anything to work with until that. They can stop with fat schmidt flashbacks now. That was my only complaint from that episode.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Prude.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
LOOK AT THIS PUPPY!!!
Oh please, like I haven’t already gone through 4 pages of those pictures.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
It’s physically hard to play defense like that. It’s easier on your body to let a guy fly by you for a dunk, and that does happen in the regular season.
So the same reason that the Yankees will pitch Mariano Rivera more in the playoffs, and the same reason a great WR might decide to return punts in the playoffs, is why guys are willing to give hard fouls in the NBA playoffs.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
I prefer making out after tongue-punching The Great Divide.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
scripty – so, because Tiger’s putting game was on a few weeks ago with the win, the momentum talk is warranted for him this weekend?
the Tiger momentum talk is more so directed towards his confidence. everyone knows he has the phyical ability to win and/or dominate. but when he wins or at least competes every week it’s safe to assume he’s getting increasingly confident in his game, which only enhances those physical abilities.
at least that’s how i view momentum in golf.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
I prefer making out after tongue-punching The Great Divide.
The “Great” Divide? You dating Whoopi Goldberg?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:19 AM
Great insight, coach. Now get back to Phillips Arena so Jason knows where he can find you for an impromptu phone call that will be scripted later today.
/seriously, though, I agree
April 5th, 2012 at 9:19 AM
This sounds like the beginnings of an e-coli outbreak.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:19 AM
Wait – which part? The inside-the-bottom part or the afterward part?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:19 AM
Kissing is not allowed after oral either.
now you’re just being a prude.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:19 AM
How about an Alabama Hot Pocket?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
You’re a “lights off” girl, right?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
This went totally over my head, KC.
But just so you know, anything involving Whoopi Goldberg stays very far away from me. Except that movie “Ghost” when it’s re-run on AMC or something. I like Unchained Melody.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
I would like to see a study done on this golf “momentum” thing. While it may exist slightly, I am betting it’s VERY small, statistically.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
LOOK AT THIS PUPPY!!!
only a quadriplegic would put a harness leash on a 2 lb dog.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
This went totally over my head, KC. Ndub
Ted Danson once said that Whoopie Goldberg had the biggest pussy he’d ever seen.
/pre-internet’d
April 5th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
If momentum = success breeds success, then yeah.
The whole momentum talk is pretty 2nd-rate reporting. If a guy plays well it’s because his game is sharp, maybe they should talk about a person’s iron game or putting, vs the arbitrary “momentum”.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
I would have gone with a giant plug of ‘backy spit and a mason jar of shine, but I’m guessing that would get you booted from Augusta with the quickness.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Well now I’m curious …
April 5th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
guess kissing after The Rocky Balboa is also out of the question?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Oh I guess no one really cares that much about winning regular season games ever since they’ll be a lottery at the end of the regular season to determine the playoff teams and seeding. However your second point suggests this hard fouling business has nothing to do with winning basketball since its employment is necessarily only after personal embarrassment and a bruised ego.
So the strategy for reacting to allegedly selfish posturing is by engaging in a self-serving ego repairing hard foul. I see.
Petty moralizing is quickest way to tie yourself up in knots of cognitive dissonance. Live and let live bro.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
Good god
Docking, pegging, oral after anal, and now big pussies. It’s 9:25 a.m.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
The Rocky Balboa
What’s this? A black guy and white guy hugging topless on a beach?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
I’ll just quote myself from a TBL post that google turned up from years ago on this fine site. It was a Whoopie roast…
“After a two minute Google research search, the large vagina was a joke he made while in blackface on a Whoopi roast. The joke…
The joke I heard was a standard “the woman is a slut” joke. He said having sex with Whoopi was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.”
April 5th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
momentum in golf is not a tournament by tournament thing…it’s over a long period of time, sometimes multiple years.
hogan never won anything and was a terrible hooker…he practices hitting shots with a weaker grip, cupped wrist, whatever it was and next thing you know, he goes from being broke and on the verge of quitting to being the best golfer in the world.
webb simpson is a no-named collegiate golfer from wake forest ranked somewhere in the 200′s. next thing you know, he’s got a few top 10′s uner his belt. then a close playoff loss. then he wins a nice tourney, then a more prestigious one…next thing you know he’s the best american at the president’s cup.
that’s momentum in golf. shit like that.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
That was a round about way of Sam Malone claiming to have the biggest dick on the planet. Well played sir.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:27 AM
After reading this, I realize you and I are on different pages. Not in disagreement, but in argument. My points are either being missed or falling on deaf ears.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:27 AM
This post definitely takes the cake for the weirdest Roundup I’ve read in a long time. Bravo folks.
Would CJ enjoy a Dirty Sanchez?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:27 AM
I’ll just quote myself from a TBL post that google turned up from years ago on this fine site. It was a Whoopie roast…
I remember that
April 5th, 2012 at 9:27 AM
90% of these tour pros lean more to the “one shot a time”, “stay in the moment”, “you’ve put the work in on the range, you’re good enough to win out here” sports pyschology psychobabble.
If it’s all about first needing momentum, then that is counterintuitive the stuff above, so I’d say no. That sounds like Scott Van Pelt talking out his ass to me.
Confidence is great. Momentum is an old-fashioned idea to weave a story.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
i think it’s great that their greatest hits album cover from the late 80′s early 90′s is a cheap rip off of the top gun album cover
April 5th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Would CJ enjoy a Dirty Sanchez?
she roots for the Patriots, so the dirtier the Sanchez, the better
April 5th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
So you fellas like tasting your own peen, eh?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
There’s been many studies on the hot hand fallacy in basketball. They usually conclude
a) that streaky shooting is well explained by randomness. I mean if you toss a coin 1 trillion million times you’re going to get multiple streaks of 1 million straight heads and that wouldn’t mean anything.
b) The probability you make your next shot depends on your base rate (shooting %) and not on the whether you made your last shot or not.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
i need to stop saaying “next thing you know.”
April 5th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
“After a two minute Google research search, the large vagina was a joke he made while in blackface on a Whoopi roast. The joke…
Black Face? Wheres Roger Sterling?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
Wrong question. Do you chicks like tasting your own glory hole?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
it’s worth the view on urbandictionary.com
April 5th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
I suppose if the option is mine or “anyone else’s” I’m going with mine.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
Hey guys, morning! What’s everyone up OHHHHHHHH GOOD GOD!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?!?!!?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
I feel like an asshole for laughing at that.
and I feel like throwing up after reading that.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
/waves
April 5th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
glory hole?
This makes me think of the South Park season premier about TSA.
“I’m gonna need to check your asshole”
That show just keeps on truckin.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
Sex Term Thursday, Cold Call Mondays, we’ll have the week laid out soon enough.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
CJ’s opinion is not uncommon. I dated a girl who wouldn’t kiss me after did the good deed on her until I brushed my teeth.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
April 5th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
The Rocky Balboa
What’s this? A black guy and white guy hugging topless on a beach?
it’s worth the view on urbandictionary.com
Blocked at work. Damn the man!
April 5th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
CJ’s opinion is not uncommon. I dated a girl who wouldn’t kiss me after did the good deed on her until I brushed my teeth.
she probably didn’t want to get a hair stuck in her braces, amiright?
/because she was underage, see?
/and because she had bad teeth, being from your locale
April 5th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
If the option is kissing my girl after she gives oral or seeing Whoopi Goldberg’s vagina, i’ll take the kissing.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
Has anyone seen the PetRider.com commercial? It’s one of those cheesy Made for TV ads for whatever, but there’s a Golden totally cheesin in it.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
That kills all the momentum.
/All tied together’d
April 5th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
DAMNIT, CLAY! I was just about to make a joke, but you totally delivered.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
Kissing is not allowed after oral either.
Unless there’s snowballing.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
/resists urge to look up Clay’s terms on urbandictionary
//does not want to lose appetite
April 5th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
And now Im feeling incredibly guilty talking about this during holy week. Sorry, Jesus.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
interesting morning in the comments so far.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
write it down, look it up when you get home. there’s a few different variants listed on that site.
also, check out The Tony Danza, a donkey punch variant.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Wrong.
/because there was no hair down there
//because she was underage, you see?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
And now Im feeling incredibly guilty talking about this during holy week. Sorry, Jesus.
if you eat a filet-o-fish for lunch, don’t think about this thread.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
That’s all ridiculous religious nonsense
/the banned ATL engager
April 5th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
Holy shit.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
i think Jesus was a great magician, but even I don’t have the heart to make a joke about Jesus, pubes, and oral sex right now.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
This happened? Apparently I don’t come around enough anymore.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
after you’ve been serviced or after you’ve done the servicing?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:41 AM
I considering saying something about how Zeus’s son Perseus wouldn’t have been offended. But it’s weak.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
Both
April 5th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
Yep. TBL gave him the Ned Stark treatment.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
hell hath no fury like a scorned TBL after being told his site is shit.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
And this is why drunk sex is fascinating. All the rules go out the window.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
This made me think of this.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
know what’s shit? not having a wi-fi connection when i go to work this afternoon so i can follow the Red Sox-Tigers game today.
/pours one out for the 2012 season before it starts
April 5th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
no snowballs, either?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:45 AM
interesting set of rules.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
That reminds me – I’m not gonna be blacked out from watching this on mlb.tv because it’s on ESPN am I?
April 5th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
I’ll just quote myself from a TBL post that google turned up from years ago on this fine site. It was a Whoopie roast…
I remember that
I completely forgot about the it being a roast part. I lived for years thinking Whoopi had a cavernous woman hole and then the internet came along and it is hard to shake that memory.
Also, Ted Danson in blackface.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
im not sure how that works. phillymantis or SC have better knowledge of that. I only have the mlb at-bat app without the mlb.tv subscription
April 5th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
hope not, i’m clearing my afternoon schedule to watch this on my iphone today.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
TBL, on in Austin, TX? Austin isn’t the whole state of Florida! On a side note; I grew up a block from where this incident took place. Nice.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:51 AM
also, check out The Tony Danza, a donkey punch variant.
Well aware of this one, my fantasy football team name is The Danza Slaps
April 5th, 2012 at 9:51 AM
TBL does not like the truth that the the actual site (loading, crashing, etc) is um…not good.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
Yeah sorry i did miss some of your points. So yes I agree some advanced strategies may be necessary as stakes rise. Someone mentioned pitching your closer multiple inning in a playoff game as a good example.
However I disagree that the employment of these costly advanced strategies should be triggered by an embarrassing play. If I decided keeping Griffin away from the basketball was a sound strategy I will be looking to commit a hard foul even before getting dunked on.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
It’s the internet, sometimes things happen. Just come back later …
April 5th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
Yup, Im setting up the Ipod touch in a little easel right next to the computer
April 5th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
Awesome, disgusting smoker cough just grabbed her laptop that she brought (personal laptop) and told me she’d be back in awhile. Guess now she’s shitting and computing!
April 5th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
Totally mixed up docking with space docking.
Which is all better than the second definition of mumping.
/April is the cruelest month.
//Happy Jesus Is Murdered Chocolate Bunny Weekend
April 5th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
There’s a lot of slapping and punching in the urban dictionairy.
/brown trout
April 5th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
Reminded me of the video Henson did for Cookie Monster’s first appearance.
April 5th, 2012 at 12:33 PM
And speaking of The Urban Dictionary…
The other night on New Girl, CeCe (what fabulous boobs) told Schmidt she wanted to try something called the “Horse Trough.” Can’t find it on Urb. Any ideas? They just messing with us?