No Wonder the Magic Looked Like Quitters Against the Knicks – They Were Partying Until 3 am the Day of the Game
Raise your hand if you feel bad for one of the most outspoken coaches in the NBA, Stan Van Gundy. Via the NY Post:
sources spotted the Magic’s Glen “Big Baby” Davis and Jason Richardson partying until the early hours. They started out dining in the private wine room of Philippe New York. Then the pair joined Dwight Howard — who got a shout-out from the DJ on the loudspeaker, spies said — Chris Duhon and Quentin Richardson at Greenhouse during R&B singer Dawn Richard’s EP release party. The players were seen ordering bottles of Champagne and raged in the club until around 3 a.m.
Look at it this way – at least the Magic waited to party until after Dwight Howard signed on to stay on another year. If this debacle happens – they trailed the Knicks by 35 during the third quarter – in February, and the Magic are 9th in the East instead of 3rd, Dwight Howard might be in a New Jersey uniform right now. [Page Six]
Previously: Dwight Howard Will Play Another Season in Orlando Because They Brought Him His Favorite “Foods and Candies”
Previously: The Magic Aren’t Dumb Enough to Keep Dwight Howard and Lose Him For Nothing, Are They?
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March 30th, 2012 at 11:45 AM
Chris Duhon has always been known as a partier/big drinker. It’s part of Chicago wanted to get rid of him. Duke trash. Thank god Kyrie shattered the mold.
March 30th, 2012 at 11:47 AM
Wasn’t the game at 7pm? So if they got home at 4am, got 8 hours of sleep, and got to the gym 3 hours before game time that still leaves 4 hours to dick around and recover.
March 30th, 2012 at 11:50 AM
Don’t we all show up to work hungover every now n’ again? Cut ‘em some slack!
/was heavy on the Knicks!
March 30th, 2012 at 11:52 AM
He who has not entered his work hungover cast the first holier than thou.
It would be like partying until 11:00pm and work at 9:00am.
/Puritan Pukes
March 30th, 2012 at 11:52 AM
Can they do anything to overcome the Bulls or Heat at #1/#2?
March 30th, 2012 at 11:52 AM
Sweet Jesus. The lottery is up to $640 million today. Wow.
March 30th, 2012 at 11:54 AM
Not gonna lie, I’d be dragging ass the next day.
March 30th, 2012 at 11:55 AM
Agreed. Drunk sleep is just not the same
March 30th, 2012 at 11:56 AM
I was hungover Wednesday morning and this morning but got her at a crisp 9:30 each time.
March 30th, 2012 at 11:58 AM
man, if no one wins this time or next week i can see $1billion easily.
after that, they should just convert the lottery to Apple stock.
March 30th, 2012 at 11:59 AM
We just put in 30 bucks at the office.
I’m murdering every one of these fuckers if we win.
March 30th, 2012 at 11:59 AM
I sleep much better when I have a good buzz.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:00 PM
Nothing worse than the dorks at the office that make a big deal out it. “Look’s like someone had a late night! I can still smell the booze on you!” Thanks, dick. I’ve shown up hungover twice in six months, and now half of management thinks I’m the “party guy.”
March 30th, 2012 at 12:00 PM
just have a tontine.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:00 PM
I’m wondering how many winning tickets there will be
March 30th, 2012 at 12:01 PM
I look forward to the ensuing lawsuits and attempted murder charges coming out of this whole thing.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:02 PM
i used to work with an alcoholic who would drink all the time on lunch, many times from the fifth of JD he kept in his car. reeked of booze like something fierce in the afternoons.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:02 PM
pro athletes are conditioned to this. If it’s a lengthy road trip the guys have pretty much etched out a party plan before they leave and know what game they are going to bail on. Hockey, Baseball and NBA.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:02 PM
man, if no one wins this time or next week i can see $1billion easily.
I’m wondering how many winning tickets there will be
you mean besides Bill Gates’?
March 30th, 2012 at 12:03 PM
either 1 winning ticket from an old lady in south dakota who buys 1 ticket per week for the last 30 years when she gets her weekly carton of pall malls
or
20 people in an office.
i picked up $10 of my own and put in $10 in the office pool
March 30th, 2012 at 12:03 PM
It’s a law office too. So, yeah.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:04 PM
The first rule of murdering your work Lotto Club is you do not talk about murdering your work Lotto Club.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:04 PM
I can’t sleep when I’m drunk. I’ll pass out for a couple hours after bar close and be up at 6am unable to fall back asleep. Just terrible.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:04 PM
The numbers have to hit in the right order, right?
March 30th, 2012 at 12:04 PM
I suspect an office pool will win it. That seems to be the norm at this stage.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:05 PM
Don’t think so.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:05 PM
same here. since i quit drinking i realize even more how shitty i feel the next morning when i drink, still can’t believe i was doing that for a majority of the week.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:06 PM
Deep down on my Netflix queue is a documentary about past lottery winners and how miserable they all are. I’m still buying tickets, but part of me can definitely see the downside of publicly winning this crazy sum of money.
Someone in the winner’s family is definitely getting kidnapped.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:06 PM
I wake up when I’m sober, usually around five, stumble downstairs and chug 32 ounces of water, then go back to sleep for three hours. Wake up feeling fine.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:06 PM
I’m picturing Bill Murrary in “Kingpin”.
“I can buy my way out of anything. Finally, moleman is above the law!”
March 30th, 2012 at 12:07 PM
Excellent post.
Me and a bunch of co-workers and customers went in on 5 bucks a person for 150 auto picks. I tell ya what, i got laid last night and boy am i feeling lucky.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:07 PM
That’s because the vast majority of lottery winners are fucking idiots who don’t hire wealth managers and carry $10,000 on their person at all times. Those people deserve to go broke and be miserable.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:08 PM
just all 5 + the mega millions ball to get the whole jackpot.
i really just want enough to pay off my mortgage and my credit card bills, the extra cash i’d be making every month not having to worry about those bills would be satisfactory.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:08 PM
Everybody in the club getting tipsy! (Yes, I have that song on my gym playlist.)
I’d say this is the clubhouse leader for least surprising statement of the day.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:08 PM
The biggest issue is that everyone in your life now resents you at least a little bit.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:08 PM
you just have to hit the numbers, no particular order.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:09 PM
I seriously would probably have a heart attack at 27 years old when those numbers popped up and wouldn’t see a dime. Whoever discovers my body will be the luckiest cocksucker in the world.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:10 PM
You are under-drinking. The key is to fly to close to the sun as early as possible, that way when you wake up on the floor you’ll be 7 hours rested and with better posture. After that all you need is boiling hot shower and then grind it out until lunch time.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:10 PM
I do have a problem with the handicapped, though. Lousy handies getting all the good parking spots and seats on the bus.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:10 PM
i’ll take everyone on a trip to the bahamas or hawaii, all expenses paid, if they are still bitches after that, then fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.
/karma just insured i won’t win
//starts researching charities
March 30th, 2012 at 12:10 PM
Maybe though I would give a good bit of cash to my family and friends, so I think they’d actually be quite fond of me. My college roommates would be thrilled when I told them I was giving them $5 million or so apiece.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:11 PM
So nothing changes for me, then.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:11 PM
In these really high lottos, I’ve read near 90% of the number combinations get picked. So it’s SLIM that this goes another round. I’d guess there’ll be maybe 2-3% that dont get purchased for this one.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:11 PM
I would totally pass out. No doubt about it.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:12 PM
There are probably going to be at least 20 people with the same winning numbers.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:12 PM
If you collect that money via live press conference, you are fucking retarded. You’re allowed to collect anonymously, but these idiots get caught up in fame aspect. Good luck turning down the 9000 loan requests you get in the next 72 hours.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:13 PM
id probably have a heart attack at 27 from all the cocaine i’d purchase and snort with the winnings.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:14 PM
I would have no problem with this.
“Don’t you wanna turn that money into a billion?”
“Nope.”
March 30th, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Spence died like he lived: with me having sex with the corpse and listening to Chicago.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:14 PM
i get loan modification requests on a daily basis for just being a homeowner, can’t imagine the kind of junk mail the public lotto winners get.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Yup. But i think i’ll still be buying groceries.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:15 PM
/fixed
March 30th, 2012 at 12:15 PM
The secret is to already work in the industry, and make millions of dollars managing your own money, while paying lower fees of course.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:17 PM
How about just from acquaintances? You’d hear every sob story there is.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:17 PM
Turns everyone in your life into stranded Nigerian kings.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:18 PM
First thing I’d do is move my family somewhere else. Hotel, rental, just not my current address.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:18 PM
I’m definitely buying a Scrooge McDuck vault filled with gold coins if I win this lottery…
/$20 for myself & the wife
//went in with 8 others at the office for a $1/head
March 30th, 2012 at 12:18 PM
The way I look at is this: If I don’t give you money, it means you’re not a good friend of mine, therefore your sob story will have absolutely no effect on me whatsoever. None.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:18 PM
I worked with a guy who kept a bottle in a locked desk.
He went nuts one day (he was one of my contractors on an IT project) and started wandering around the office for about 20 minutes calling everyone “rat fuckers” and the leaves. It was the most bizarre scene I’d ever witnessed. Then 2 days later, he shows up like nothing happened. We escorted him out the door.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:20 PM
my lake house neighbors won 4m and 6 or 8m in the Ohio Lotto, a couple of years apart. every time their house floods (low lot), i’d be lying if i said i didn’t laugh a little bit.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:20 PM
Yeah. I’d rent a hotel room for a week or so to hammer everything out and then I’d buy a new place and put mine up for sale. Other than that I don’t think I’d do anything too crazy in the immediate aftermath. I’d need to sit and think for a while to figure out what I wanted to do after getting the money advice from those in the know.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:20 PM
Gotta get Off The Grid.
That’s why, as painful as it seems. You just show up for work and dont cash that in for a month or so so you’re escape plan can be executed properly.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:21 PM
saturday…in the dark, i think im gonna fuck this dead guy.
i know youre wishing, to hear the squishing…ooo this feels like ice cream, I THINK I’LL SMOKE A BONG!!!!
March 30th, 2012 at 12:22 PM
ha, i’d laugh too since they can spend a fraction of that to fix the problem… or divert it to your property.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:22 PM
Having said that, if I won this puppy tonight I’d be in Augusta beginning Wed and I’d have tickets to the par-3 tourney through the Sunday final. You can b’lee dat.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:23 PM
Agree. It would be so god damn hard to do, though.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:24 PM
Gross. I only fuck dead baby animals that are the same gender as me.
/homopedonecribeastophilia’d
March 30th, 2012 at 12:26 PM
i’d probably still work at this job until i knew what i wanted to do, could be a year or so. driving an awesome car to work everyday would be pretty satisfactory for a little while.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:29 PM
straight across the channel from me, so I’m good. Ironically, they used to live behind me when I was in high school, about an hour away. They’ve just been taunting me…
March 30th, 2012 at 12:30 PM
Waking up at 10 every morning and then skiing out of mountain house would be better.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:30 PM
have you ever seen them since they won? if not, maybe they killed each other in a fight for the millions.
/a simple plan’d
March 30th, 2012 at 12:31 PM
Not that I would, but if you could hold off for 6-10 years only spending a little bit, you could almost double that stash, given the investment opportunities you’d have. Most of mine would be philanthropic so it would help.
There are some great articles on Gates & Buffett discuss the idea of donating their fortunes later vs. now so the overall amount becomes greater.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:32 PM
obviously, but i would also get some demented joy cruising into the parking lot in a ferrari for a short while, knowing i have more money than the owner of the company.
/ another karma strike
March 30th, 2012 at 12:34 PM
We do have a couple like that in Dayton. Some white trash won the lotto years ago and she hired an undercover cop to take out her husband. She went to prison and I think he died of a heart attack or blew it all or some such. For some reason, I’m thinking they even won twice, as well.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:34 PM
Say you won the whole thing by yourself (unlikely). You would get about $250 million in cash post tax if you took that option. I would put (at the minimum) about $175 million in various banks as well as T-bills and the such. I would live off of the interest and still be a supreme baller, thus never touching the principal. It would be amazing.
/god dammit…now all I can think about is what I would do.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:35 PM
I’d still have to work until I got the lotto check deposited. It’s gonna take at least 2 months before you see winnings that size.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:35 PM
i know i would donate a lot to the livestrong foundation and the ASPCA (mostly so they can stop emailing me and i’d order them to stop with that damn sarah mcglaughlin commercial), that malaria net charity, donate a ton to libraries and maybe start a blackwater type defense contractor corporation and get into black ops stuff with the CIA, and i’d donate to my college. get some stuff named after me.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:36 PM
have you even bought a ticket yet? we have to drive up to the JAX airport tonight to pick some folks up and I’m considering going the additional 20 or so miles up into GA to get a ticket. I’ll probably be too tired though and won’t end up feeling like it.
/being honest
March 30th, 2012 at 12:37 PM
I would love buying a place at the Ritz-Carlton plantation at Kapula in Maui. I would have my own personal table at Merriman’s and have an 11am tee time at the Kapula course.
/high fives kaiser & spence
March 30th, 2012 at 12:37 PM
And miss first chair? Tsk tsk.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:37 PM
I’d tell Florida I’d donate to them in large sums if they would re-name the Swamp the Jorts Coliseum.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
No.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
god damn do i want to go back to kapalua now…shit.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:39 PM
Well, my plan would be to enlist 10 different financial service providers. Tell them they’d get 10% of your investment portfolio and every 2.5 years, the lowest-performing firm gets cut out and that 10% gets redistributed over the 9 firms based on performance. Then repeat the process. You’d need at least 2 auditing firms working blind to each other.
/wrote some short stories on lotto winner, probably has skewed vision
March 30th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
Seriously, get a series 7 license and manage it yourself. $250 million, you could easily make $1-2 million a year, and you’d be paying less commissions/fees to manage the money, thereby giving you more in the long run.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
Seriously, get a series 7 license and manage it yourself. $250 million, you could easily make $1-2 million a year, and you’d be paying less commissions/fees to manage the money, thereby giving you more in the long run.
Your time would become your most precious assett, so thereby managing the $$$ yourself diminishes the only assett that you could not replenish. I’d definitely be hiring pros. Per above.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:44 PM
…. I like that idea.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:44 PM
Exactly. I don’t want to pore over spreadsheets and shit. I have the money to pay someone to do that for me. I would start or join a charity, get on the board so as to do something with my time and then raise my kids.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:44 PM
You can do both. You can be the broker, and give it to any third party investment firm to manage and do the day-to-day trades.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:44 PM
i’d probably buy a nice place in wailea, the afternoon trade winds make the beach uncomfortable that side of the island so you get less tourists and more being awesome time.
/high fives
March 30th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
you’re all unimaginative dickfaces.
/spinstergal
March 30th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Who says you can’t have places in both? I would want a daily tee time and my own table at Merriman’s though.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
By Emil Protalinski | March 30, 2012, 6:36am PDT
Summary: A prominent lawmaker and gay rights activist in Nepal asked Facebook to add a third sex option for people who identify as neither male nor female. The company didn’t, so he disabled his account.
Just … wow.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
glad someone caught that.
wouldn’t that be pretty awesome? how many people can say they have their own personal black ops team authorized by the gov’t to do your bidding?
March 30th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
Basically, you can do exactly what scripty said, but get paid to do it.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
I guess I fail to see how this is a “wow” issue. Dude asked for something, didn’t get it and stopped using the site because of it.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
that’d be hella sweet…plus, with all your time and money, you can get trained and in a couple years join em on some skullcracking shit.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
I would just day trade on my own. Get an Ameritrade account and do it yourself.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
That never gets old or less humorous.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
yeah, Merriman’s is a must. if i didn’t love that drive from Wailea to Merriman’s i’d buy a place local.
i might actually have them carve out a spot for my table at the far edge of where the wine bar is so i’m right on the edge of the rocks.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
This cracked me up. I just won a qtr of a billion dollars. I’m not getting some stupid fucking license.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
You’d have enough money to set off NASDAQ or NYSE alarms. I’d do that just once. Maybe twice.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
Now this i could see. Have some fun, read some shit on trading and almost view it as gambling money re: Vegas.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
Dickface is a term of endearment only meant for Jason Lisk. I would never call any of you cock bags “dickface.”
March 30th, 2012 at 12:52 PM
Then someone else will be getting rich off your winnings, rather than keeping it for yourself and your family.
Seriously, it’s not like you’re 50 years old. Take a test, and save yourself millions of dollars every year in fees and commissions.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:54 PM
I HAVE $250 MILLION. I don’t give a fuck to turn it into $500 million. So some dude makes 6 figs off of me. Good for him. Hell, I’ll run for god damn President and call myself a job creator.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:56 PM
In exactly one week I will be on, oh, probably the 7th or 8th tee at Doral.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:57 PM
They won’t be getting $640M rich!
If I won the lottery the last thing I would EVER have any interest in doing is learning how to play the stock market. My dad likes that stuff so I’ll ask him if he wants to do my investing. Otherwise I’ll hire someone.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
Try mid 7 figs, every year.
March 30th, 2012 at 12:59 PM
That means I’m making money, too, yes? If so, even better.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:00 PM
And it’s not “learning to play the stock market”. It’s just being a broker, handing it over whichever investment firms you want to manage, and collecting commissions.
Whatever, it’s not worth arguing over.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
swank…lemme know how hard 18 is.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
eh, good for them. spread the money around, doesn’t do any good sitting in an account to be passed on to your brood of hipster children and grandchildren.
i’d set aside enough for my kids to do something, but not enough to do nothing, tab a shitload for charity, and before i die spend the rest.
in fact, if i die before my wife, i’d instruct her to spend all of it within a certain amount of time. i wouldn’t want my future generations to live off my luck in the lottery.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:03 PM
Fuck that. Just raise them to be smart with the money and get them involved in causes they enjoy and trust them. I’ve never understood the ‘fuck my kids…they have to earn it” mentality, especially if I “earned” it by winning the damn lottery.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:03 PM
maybe start a blackwater type defense contractor corporation and get into black ops stuff with the CIA,
You could hire Tiger Woods.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:05 PM
I know what I wouldn’t do – buy a place in Manhattan. $1.5M for a shitty two bedroom condo? Fuck New York.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:07 PM
All of this. Same goes with L.A., Paris or London. I’ll rent a nice place for the month I’m there to visit.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:07 PM
it’s not like i’d give them $10,000.00 and say good luck. I’d give them enough to be comfortable doing whatever they want, a nice cushion so they can enjoy traveling, investing, starting a company, buy a house w/o a mortgage, get as much education as you can stomach.
but yeah, my future kids that don’t exist yet would have to show some damn good responsibility if i’d ever thing about entrusting them with hundreds of millions of dollars.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:08 PM
The kids would get an Ipad for Xmas. The rest they’d have to beg for.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:09 PM
I would give 100% of my inheritance to my child(ren). Without second thought.
That would be on you, though. If you fail as a parent, that’s a you problem.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:10 PM
Agree 100%. I’d rather buy a nice old house in the Philly burbs than live in New York. I can take a train up there.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Plz.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:12 PM
Agree. I’d buy a place in Chicago though. I’d live here from probably mid-April/early May through Christmas then spend the winter traveling to warm places.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:12 PM
Trust fund for the kids, one that they can’t touch until they’re 25.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:18 PM
If you have $250m why wouldn’t you pay $1.5m for a free place to stay when you visit NYC? And rent it out the rest of the year?
I’ll tell ya right now, I will not be laying up.
/lands in the sand bunker
//hits bunker shot across green into water
///up and down for 6
March 30th, 2012 at 1:19 PM
“In the sand bunker”. Jesus.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:26 PM
“In the sand bunker”. Jesus.
well, there are grass bunkers. Grass bunkers can be easier & more cost efficient for a course to maintain and present a reasonable tesk of skill to eascap.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:26 PM
Still have to pay monthly assessments. And how could I rent it out if I was going to stay there a few times a year? It’s not like the apartment is a vacation condo in the tropics.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:34 PM
no you don’t.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:40 PM
Put a moderately sized concrete brick house, ranch style but with a “crow’s nest” type room (suite) up high at one end, metal roof, screened across the back, that sits in the middle of 5 lots on a beach, the 4 other lots are empty and wildly un-maintained.
Kind of a non-descript looking place for relaxation and low maintenance. People walking by would have no idea …
Then, open up two shops, side-by-side: sushi bar and bait shop.
Sushi bar’s name: Tomorrow’s Bait.
Bait shop’s name: Yesterday’s Sushi.