This isn’t exactly Captain Morgan smooth, but it’s a start. From the Daytona Beach News Journal:

Anthony Brisbane was working at Captain Steamer’s Oyster Bar — where the motto is “Party like a Pirate” — at 5:20 a.m. Sunday, when he heard a thud, police said.

Brisbane grabbed a sword with a broken handle and went to the kitchen where he found a masked man. The man asked not to be killed. When Brisbane saw that the intruder had a tire iron, he “pressed the sword into the suspect’s stomach.”

Still holding the sword against Pufall’s abdomen, Brisbane called 9-1-1, police said. Pufall begged Brisbane to put the phone down and offered him money, police said. The suspect then struck Brisbane three times on the head, police said.

Pufall dropped his tire iron and he and Brisbane fought over the sword.

Brisbane dropped the sword after getting cut. He then shoved Pufall to the floor and slammed a bottle of Bud Lite into the suspect’s head, police said.

Brisbane grabbed a screwdriver, pointed it at Pufall’s neck and walked him outside to the front of the restaurant. By then, police had arrived on scene, the report shows.

You’ve got to give Brisbane credit for using all the tools at his disposal. If you’re interested, Captain Steamers has an obnoxious auto-play website.

[The Daytona Beach News Journal via Consumerist via Rovell]