Megan Fox … go read Taibbi on Brietbart … “98-year-old woman faces gambling charge over poker party” … one dead from stabbing at Alternative school in Chicago … Rihanna to play Whitney? … “Florida Drunk Driver Wearing a Butt Plug Rear Ends Car” … mug shot may haunt your dreams … Freida Pinto is a goddess … Sheriff Joe is just embarrassing himself now … Teacher (of the Month) suspended for maybe banging a male student in Ohio … Virginia Senate kills the “Tebow” bill … I hope this isn’t how we remember Dikembe Mutombo … here’s a Brietbart profile from 2010 … had to be pretty hammered to do this … the most creative driver’s license photo you’ll see this week …

Grady Sizemore out 8-12 weeks after back surgery. Kid can’t stay healthy. [Dispatch]

Great read on just how crucial Stanford’s recruiting class of 2008 was to the football program. [Feldman]

Tiki Barber is not officially divorced, but he’s getting married to his new chick, anyway. [Page 6]

So the Green Bay Packers’ stock sale went pretty well. [JS Online]

Here’s a long story on Perry Jones of Baylor. It’s a bit different than the long story the NYT did on him last year. [ESPN]

“Rush Limbaugh calls Georgetown Law student a ‘slut’ and a ‘prostitute’” [WJLA 7]

California high school star Lucas Giolito hit 100 mph on the radar gun. [LA Times]

Sounds like the Jets are going to be making a run at Baltimore linebacker Jarret Johnson. [NYDN]

Here’s a feature on Doris Burke, the ESPN announcer. [Globe]

“NCAA Critics Speak Up.” College fans should check this out. [Observer]

Yadier Molina got a $75 million deal from the Cardinals. [Post-Dispatch]

Teacher leaves his wife and kid to move in with a student. Really messed-up story. They swapped 8,000 text messages – 32 per day – until the teacher was suspended. [Modesto Bee]

Scary video. The SUV gets completely obliterated.

Nine minutes of fail video from February. [via Adam]

Um, radical.

The police officer survived. Details on the traffic stop can be found here.