Weekly Top Five: Jeremy Lin, Detroit’s Streak & Laron Landry’s Arms
Each week Tim “Teach Me How To” Ryan and I will recap some of the bigger stories from the lively week in athletics. It’s a completely original idea that we started over two years ago. Every time this post appears, Tyler Duffy updates his thesaurus app. As always, please remember to be as irrational as possible when interacting with your fellow TBL commenters.
Ruben the puppy has been replaced by Reid Brignac’s girlfriend, Lauren Anderson.
1. “Chink In The Armor”
CRM — The guy who used that headline was incredibly naive if he didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. It’s nice to think he’s from a special place where racism doesn’t exist, a light should have gone off on this one. Losing his job seems a little harsh since he has no priors, but this shit happens.
TSH — I felt a lot more sympathy for this Anthony Federico fellow before he sent out a detailed list of his storied charity work. It kind of takes away from all of the charity work you’ve done when it comes off that you’ve done said charity work for the sole purpose of listing all of your charity work.
2. Red Wings Streak Ends
TSH — The Red Wings losing streak coming to an end was a tough one to swallow. It’s right up there with ABC’s inexcusable cancellation of Eli Stone and the disappointment we all felt upon learning producers would not be making a sequel to “Little Nicky.” On a positive note, there are still 63 games left followed by three months of playoffs.
CRM — Hockey? Hockey. Detroit’s streak started way back to November 5th. It’s one of those streaks that is just kind of coincidental. During the home winning streak they went 36-13. (36-15 if you count the last two losses since the last home win.) As far as streaks go, this one was notable in its randomness.
3. Laron Landry’s Arms
CRM — His arms are almost too ridiculous to be photoshopped. He’s like an action figure. Not sure how that much bulk and hulk can keep him on the field for more than half a season, but he sure looks badass in that baby t-shirt.
TSH — Laron Landry loves the gym more than Anthony Davis loves unibrows. I fully expect him to fly around the field next year with the dizzying speed of Refrigerator Perry.
4. Ryan Braun
CRM — Braun beat the system. Then a 16-year-old beat the press. I’m not sure what’s more surprising. Now we wait and see why he tested positive in the first place.
TSH — Several members of the media have expressed how impressive Ryan Braun was in today’s press conference. Some reporters even gushed. Because of that, there was obviously no wrongdoing here. Plus, Aaron Rodgers believes him too. Case closed.
5. Jeremy Lin
TSH — Jeremy Lin was great and now he’s terrible. The guy has started 11 games this season. I’m going to sound like Peter King here, but it’s a little scary that sports have become uncomfortably suffocating to the point that every single game must instantaneously mean something dramatically conclusive. For the love of tits, let it breathe a little.
CRM — All-Star weekend is here. Lin has turned the ball over about 75 times in the last week. Baseball is back. Linsanity seems to finally be dying down. I’m not saying we’re going to forget about it, but you should all be very happy that you can breathe on the internet without Linhaling something too much.
Honorable Mention
Sneaker riot … a fucking hat!
***
This week in Retarded Pictures of Snooki
CRM — I haven’t watched Jersey Shore this season. I haven’t noticed anyone talking about Jersey Shore this season. I have no idea what is going on in this picture, but if Tim were here he would say something about “beef curtains.”
TSH — But I am here. Snooki’s beef curtains meeting seawater sound like the ingredients for the next great salad dressing.
***
Last Week’s Query Poll Results: You overwhelmingly decided to stick with Jeremy Lin. Good call. With that in mind…
Query of the Week: Ben and Jerry’s is selling a Jeremy Linspired ice cream that contains fortune cookies.
***
[Photos via Getty]

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30 Responses to “Weekly Top Five: Jeremy Lin, Detroit’s Streak & Laron Landry’s Arms”
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February 24th, 2012 at 5:03 PM
Needs more Kate Upton, although the girl up top is very solid
Oh and Cookies & Cream is the best ice cream flavor.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:06 PM
Stefon Diggs thinks Frederico’s headline is bush league.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:07 PM
Marisa Miller > All yall’s favorite bitches
February 24th, 2012 at 5:09 PM
The Wings shall rise again!
/when Datsyuk comes back…
February 24th, 2012 at 5:11 PM
Is that ice cream racist!?
It’s DELINCIOUSLY racist!
February 24th, 2012 at 5:14 PM
Least inspiring “fucking hat!” in a while. TSH is immediately dubbed “the worst” per internet rules.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:17 PM
Please see byline.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:17 PM
the font in this posts reminds me of PM Roundups gone by.
ah, summer nights.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:19 PM
I always rotate between that and strawberry cheesecake from baskin robbin’s. When buying ben and jerry’s though, it’s Half Baked or nothing.
/high fives phillymantis
February 24th, 2012 at 5:19 PM
Must make it with the actual fortune and lucky numbers.
/ you will prosper with your many talents.
// (in bed)
February 24th, 2012 at 5:20 PM
I should have known. I will be mailing you a Nutria hat as an apology.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:22 PM
and it sounds delicious! tasty racism, gotta have it!
February 24th, 2012 at 5:22 PM
Fattie…jk
/high fives Broccoli back
//pass me a blunt or something…
February 24th, 2012 at 5:26 PM
gotta rock the fro-yo
February 24th, 2012 at 5:28 PM
I think I’ve learned how to Ryan:
Become a NYC hipster, lots of hair product, tip at least 40%, eat no fatty foods, lots and lots of road beef (curtains).
/not really
February 24th, 2012 at 5:29 PM
Cookies & Cream, Mint Chocolate Chip and Strawberry are my top 3.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:30 PM
Chunky Monkey. The seasonal ones are always good. They had a pumpkin cheesecake that was awesome and an american apple pie that is probably my favorite ever.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:31 PM
I can’t eat that stuff high, I’ll take down an entire carton. I have to exercise some severe willpower.
/passes blunt
February 24th, 2012 at 5:32 PM
How did I miss that???????????? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:34 PM
Yeah, just recalled they are called “limited batch” not seasonal.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:38 PM
I’m about to get sooooo ripped when I get home.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:44 PM
*fatty thread*
February 24th, 2012 at 5:46 PM
Co-sign. Going to my buddy’s for a bbq and then hitting up a wine bar afterwards. I plan on being extremely intoxicated tonight.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:48 PM
Not all of us can have v-shaped backs, wear smedium shirts or be 6’5″ and however skinny SC is.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:58 PM
So is handing out fortune cookies by a Chinese restaurant racist?
Does anyone know the difference between a stereotype and racism?
February 24th, 2012 at 6:08 PM
That ice cream is not racist but fortune cookies are bland as shit so I bet that ice cream sucks.
February 24th, 2012 at 6:19 PM
Speed Posting or would it be Volume Posting. Either way it is definitely top 5 this week.
February 24th, 2012 at 6:19 PM
If I like their race, how can I be racist?
February 24th, 2012 at 6:32 PM
It’s all about half baked. Agreed Broc
February 24th, 2012 at 9:20 PM
Man, I dig Asian women