Pittsburgh Pirates President Frank Coonelly Charged With DUI
While players for the Pittsburgh Pirates begin reporting to the club’s facility down in Bradenton, team president Frank Coonelly was busy getting charged with four counts of drunken driving that stemmed from an arrest back on Dec. 22.
I think you’ll find that the charges aptly complete an impressive circle of boozing debauchery. They go as follows: Drunken driving, driving the wrong way, careless driving, and driving with a blood-alcohol level twice the legal limit.
It’s not even March yet and the Pirates are already fouling out to the catcher.
According to police, this is Coonelly’s first offense. And according to my top secret source, when Coonelly opened the driver’s side window, it looked an awful lot like this — allegedly:
[via TribLive; photo via US Presswire]
- LeBron James’ Game-Winning Lay Up at the Buzzer in Overtime While Roy Hibbert Sat on the Bench [Video]
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- Paul George Wore Aqua Pants and a Green, Amoeba-Pattered Dress Shirt to Game 1 in Miami
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- Chuck Norris Wants a NFL Team to Sign Tim Tebow Because He is a Winner Like Chuck Norris
- Quietgoesthedon on LeBron James' Game-Winning Lay Up at the Buzzer in Overtime While Roy Hibbert Sat on the Bench [Video]
- knifeyspoony on Paul George Wore Aqua Pants and a Green, Amoeba-Pattered Dress Shirt to Game 1 in Miami
- wildcat1144 on LeBron James' Game-Winning Lay Up at the Buzzer in Overtime While Roy Hibbert Sat on the Bench [Video]
- resolutedefense on Paul George Wore Aqua Pants and a Green, Amoeba-Pattered Dress Shirt to Game 1 in Miami
- resolutedefense on Paul George Wore Aqua Pants and a Green, Amoeba-Pattered Dress Shirt to Game 1 in Miami
52 Responses to “Pittsburgh Pirates President Frank Coonelly Charged With DUI”
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February 23rd, 2012 at 1:39 PM
no moleman hat tip?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:45 PM
Over the limit? Under arrest!
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:46 PM
Buzzed driving is drunk driving.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:47 PM
I really hate that commercial.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:49 PM
I hate that stupid commercial.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:49 PM
Buzzed driving is fun driving.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:50 PM
I really hate that stupid commercial.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:50 PM
Someone hook me up with some awesome Sporcles.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:51 PM
I really hate that commercial.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:51 PM
Buzzed drivers (which is what 6 beers?) are safer drivers than 80 year old grandmas on the freeway.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:51 PM
Buzzed driving on a beautiful spring day with the windows down and Widespread Panic blasting is what life is all about. Fuck the police.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:52 PM
The Rooney’s would never get this treatment in Pittsburgh. This is just more fuel for the fire for Pittstuckians.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:54 PM
I like how there aren’t any women in the buzzed driving is drunk driving commercial
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:55 PM
you’d get along well with my high school friends.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Me Geno drive automobile drunk and fast with vodka in glove department and cocaine on dash. Haters hate.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Grizz you ever eat in the Greek joint in my building? Some baller soup.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:56 PM
What I want to say is quasi-racist/truf’d, so I’m just gonna leave it there and enjoy fireworks.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:56 PM
Geno gets it.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:57 PM
Asians can’t drive for shit.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:58 PM
What, that all Asians except Jeremy Lin can’t drive?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:58 PM
Buzzed driving on a beautiful spring day with the windows down and Widespread Panic blasting is what life is all about. Fuck the police.
like panic, but replace them in your scenario with my morning jacket and i am set.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:59 PM
/tosses bag of sour patch kids at cowboy mike
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:59 PM
Grizz you ever eat in the Greek joint in my building? Some baller soup.
I’ve only experienced the greatness of Zorba’s, I need to get in there — what’s the name of it?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:59 PM
What about the chick who chips her tooth on the beer bottle? And then the girl who’s talking to the dude on the stairs, finishes her beer and leaves?
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:00 PM
I like Asians.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:00 PM
Yeah that’s what I wanted to say. Especially women…
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:01 PM
So do I, but not behind the wheel.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:01 PM
The Apollo Cafe. Lots of Greek broads working there, too.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:01 PM
This reminds me — I took this drug class in college for 1 credit, the guy was a former counselor. He said he worst story was a girl was was such an alcoholic that she rigged her car in such a way that there was a tube going from the winshield washer fluid to the interior of the car so that when she hit the windshield washer button — OJ\Vodka would do through the tube and into her mouth.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:02 PM
Nice — thanks, I’ll check it out. Always on the hunt for new lunch spots, I’m sick of my normal haunts.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:02 PM
Once in State College I saw a beige Camry full of Asians going really slowly down a one way in the wrong direction. It was like a PSA, it was kind of awesome.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:03 PM
Legend.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:04 PM
I like driving them from behind.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:05 PM
+1
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:06 PM
I know about three of my friends who have been in accidents caused by middle-aged Asian women. They are the absolute worst drivers, period.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:07 PM
replace widespread panic with a band that doesn’t fucking suck, and you sir, are correct.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:08 PM
Hey. Fuck you.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:08 PM
Girl here at work got a DUI, went to the weekend-at-a-hotel-DUI-camp to reduce your DUI. Then left that camp and got a DUI that night.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:09 PM
My husband’s ex-wife is the worst. She totaled their minivan while they were divorcing. She subsequently had three or four accidents after that. One night at the ball field I watched her back into a tree that was a good four feet across. You couldn’t miss it. I had to turn my back because I was laughing so hard.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:10 PM
my Asian neighbors were having what sounded like a domestic dispute last night in their garage. it got annoying after about 3 minutes.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:10 PM
my Asian neighbors were having what sounded like a domestic dispute last night in their garage. it got annoying after about 3 minutes.
You sure they didn’t just drop a drawer full of silverware?
/ESPN editor’d
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:11 PM
that’s commitment right there.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:11 PM
she hit the windshield washer button
I once went a long time with a car with no automatic wiper fluid spray motor b/c I was car shopping. Had to have a Dawn bottle filled with windhsheild wiper fluid on the front seat, reach out and squirt the windshield when needed. It was a miserable time.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:13 PM
Those hotel camp things are the worst, and believe me all you want to do is booze til you’re a bag of shit when you leave. But how fucking stupid can you be to drive drunk when you just got out on a suspended license. Amazing.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:14 PM
Asian drivers are the worst, and goddammit NJ is full of them.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:15 PM
The very pants she was returning.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:15 PM
Contract the playoffs, pay the Pirates with a salary cap, get this fraudy bust of a clown out of here with his weak gear.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:22 PM
That girl from work slinked through life b/c she was hot. She looked like Rhona Mitra. Dumb as a bag of hammers. But hot.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:23 PM
Black eye for baseball.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:26 PM
Can someone explain to me what a DUI hotel camp is?
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:27 PM
You are very wise and full of truth. And this statement is especially true where I live in NJ.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:31 PM
OK. You get a DUI. To reduce the points on your license, you’d have to go a hotel and sit through speakers all weekend about DUI’s etc. You’d be at a hotel b/c presumably nobody would have a license (Not sure about this). I have not attended but they were more common like 10 years ago.